To say that things had been awkward between Lauren and JC the last few days would be an understatement. A huge understatement. They had been doing their best to act normal around each other, not wanting the other to know that they felt awkward. But they weren't doing a very good job. Neither was sure if the other had noticed their reaction that day, so they didn't really notice each others odd behavior. They were too busy focusing on their own. But since they were feeling the same thing, they didn't want to bring it up. Bringing it up would mean bringing up why they felt that way, and neither of them were ready to do that just yet.
Luckily, the guys had gone back into the studio to start work on a few new songs. They weren't officially recording a new album, just putting in a little studio time. If they got a few good tracks down now, then the work would be a little less when it came time to really get down to business and put together the next album.
Since JC was at Jive recording practically all day, Lauren didn't have to worry about facing him. He never got home at the same time, but she knew that he had pretty full days. He was usually gone by the time she woke up in the morning, and if not, he was on his way out. Usually Justin or Lance would come over and pick him up, giving Lauren someone else to focus on.
She wasn't sure if JC had noticed her reaction to him that day in the pool, but she sure had. It had shocked the hell out of her that she had reacted to him that way. She was the one who hugged him, but for some reason, it was completely different than it had ever been before. It was more.......intimate. When he held her, smiling into her neck, all her senses were all of a sudden attacked by him. The way he felt against her, the way his arms held her tight, but not too tight. Even the way she could feel him breathing against her. At that moment, she didn't think of him as good 'ol JC, her best friend. He was all of a sudden JC; this amazing, wonderful, caring man that she was so lucky to have in her life.
She had been reeling over her thoughts and feelings from that day for the past four. She was still not doing any photo shoots, feeling she wasn't quite ready to jump back into the hectic lifestyle just yet. She figured she would in another week, and ease back into it. Things got crazy really fast in that business if you let them, and she wasn't ready to let them. Not yet. So instead, she hung around the house, thinking. She hated thinking. She was always freaking thinking! God, she was pathetic. All she did was think. And in her thinking she realized that the only thing worse than being pathetic and thinking all the time, was realizing you were pathetic and thinking all the time and still choosing to be pathetic and think all the time! God, she had too much time on her hands.
Lauren laid on the couch in the living room, one arm over her stomach. The other tucked under her head as she stared at the ceiling. Faint music was playing on the stereo on the corner.
"Remember when, we never needed each other......The best of friends like sister and brother.......We understood we'd never be alone......"
Lauren closed her eyes, the music and lyrics to the song playing quietly around her, the words to the song having a whole to meaning to her.
"Those days are gone, and I want you so much.........The night is long, and I need your touch....... Don't know what to say, never meant to feel this way, don't wanna be....alone tonight"
All she could see was JC. Behind her closed eyes, she could still see him. Smiling back at her.
"What can I do to make you mine............falling so hard so fast this time...........What did I say?..........What did you do? How did I fall in love with you?"
"You're lucky Justins not here. Wouldn't want him blastin' ya for listening to Backstreet again."
The voice broke Lauren from her thoughts. Opening her eyes, JCs smiling face faded. Replaced by it was Janssyns knowing grin.
"Whatcha thinking about?" she asked, sitting down on the plush recliner at the foot of the couch where Lauren lay, motionless.
"Nothing." Laurens eyes dropped to focus on her feet.
"You know, JC and Justin aren't the only ones who know you're little eye trick." Janssyn scolded.
Lauren brought her eyes to look straight into Janssyns. Glazing over, unfocussing her eyes to make it easier, she repeated herself. "Nothing." she said forcefully. Wow, maybe she was getting better at this.
"So why are you listening to sappy music?" Janssyn lifted her feet and placed them on the table in front of her, crossing her arms over her stomach.
"Its not sappy. Its a good song." Lauren defended. Taking a deep breath to block out the music still playing the background, she sat up, tucking her legs beneath her.
"Oh, so you weren't sitting here thinking?"
"Nope."
"And you're not depressing yourself with sad songs?"
"Nope"
"And How Did I Fall in Love with You is not on repeat?"
"No......" Lauren stopped before the word was completed when the song started over. Damn.
Playing with her nails to avoid Janssyns grin, Lauren shrugged her shoulders. "So?"
"So? So when are you going to talk to me about what's bothering you? You've been acting strange all week." Janssyn knew very well what was bothering Lauren. But she wasn't going to confront her, because all that would do was make her deny any feelings she had for JC. And knowing Lauren, she would do her best to convince even herself that she felt nothing, and that was unacceptable at this point. "Even Taryn said you've been weird."
Taking the mention of Taryn as a good chance to change the subject, Lauren spoke up. "Did she get up to your parents okay?"
"Yeah. She called last night. My mom got on the phone and whined that only one of her daughters took the time to come and visit." Janssyn sighed with frustration, slamming her hands on the armrests of the chair. "What does she think I do? Sit on my ass all day?"
Giving Janssyn a look, gliding her eyes up and down as Janssyn sat on her ass in the chair, Lauren smiled.
"Oh, who asked you?" Janssyn pouted, leaning back in the chair forcefully.
Taryn had left the morning before to head up to Cincinnati to visit her parents. Lauren and Janssyn had gone to the airport to see her off. Lauren had to smile as she watched the two sisters say good-bye. Being an only child herself, she didn't know what it was like to have a bond like they had. The closest thing she had to that was her relationship with the guys. She knew she hated saying good-bye to them whenever they would go on tour or she would go on a shoot, but she was sure it wasn't the same as this. Janssyn was crying, as was Taryn, hugging each other tightly. They didn't get too see each other very often, with Taryn at school and Janssyn always working around the world. Giving her sister one last squeeze, Janssyn pulled back, sniffling. She placed a strand of loose hair behind Taryns ear, and smiled. "See you later, buttlicker." Taryn laughed, playfully punching Janssyn in the shoulder "Later, toesucker." she giggled. Do all sisters have this kind of loving banter? Lauren thought as she watched them. The final call for Taryns flight was announced, and the girls gave each other one last hug. Before heading to the door, Taryn hugged Lauren. Pulling back, she smiled at her. "You take care, Carter." Lauren smiled back at the young woman in front of her. "I will. Say hi to your parents for me." Taryn nodded. "I will." she promised. Before pulling away completely, Taryn leaned in to whisper in Laurens ear. "And take care of that boy of yours. I think he's a keeper." Before Lauren had a chance to respond, Taryn gave her a wink and a smile, before turning and disappearing through the gate.
Janssyn had spent every day this week with Lauren, since JC was at the studio. He was still adamant about having someone stay with her, even though he was only aware of the initial threat, which had happened about two weeks prior. There had been another one this week. This time, a little more bold. He had sent flowers to her, with a note. It simply read 'See You Soon'. When Janssyn asked who the flowers were from, Lauren immediately said her grandmother. Lying, she said that she was going to come and visit her soon, now that she lived with JC.
"So, what are we going to do today?" Janssyn inquired, lazily slapping her hands on the armrests of the chair, pointing her toes in unison to the beat.
"I don't know. What do you feel like doing?"
"Hey! I know! I have a date tomorrow night, and I cant find anything to wear. Lets go through your closet so I can borrow something!"
Lauren found it hard to believe that Janssyn couldn't find something to wear. The girl own more clothes than Donatella Versace!
"Sounds like fun. Ive got some of Britneys clothes too, so you can have a ball in that closet!"
The two girls headed upstairs, Janssyn bounding two steps at a time. She loved clothes. Trying them on, showing them off, even designing them. It was just a hobby, but she loved it.
By the time Lauren reached her bedroom door, Janssyn was already in the closet. Lauren could see her back through the doorway, smiling as she watched it disappear further into the large walk-in closet.
Lauren had a lot of clothes, too, so she couldn't really rag on Janssyn too much. Most of what she got had been given to her by designers after shows. Sometimes if you asked, the designer would give you the item you wore in their show as a thank you. As if paying you wasn't enough. Lauren felt bad asking, but if she knew the designer really well, it wasn't so hard. Just like asking a friend to borrow a shirt. Except in her case the friend was Calvin Klein and the shirt was worth $300.
Peaking her head out the door of the closet, Janssyn smiled at Lauren who was still standing near the doorway. "Okay, you sit on the bed, and Ill throw stuff out at you. Then we'll narrow it down, and Ill try the stuff on. It'll be fun!" Janssyns head vanished into the closet again, and Lauren could hear her flipping through items.
Sitting on her bed, Lauren crossed her legs in front of her to sit Indian style, leaning back on her headboard. Placing her crossed arms over her knees, she started thinking again.
She thought back to when things were simple. Well, between her and JC, anyway. Her life had never been simple. At least not in the last few years. Looking over to one of the pictures on her night stand, she smiled. It was a picture of her and JC at one of the shows she had done. She was wearing a long, white, silk dress, that hung off her slim frame loosely. Thin straps bared her narrow shoulders, and the light material emphasized her figure. JC stood beside her, arms wrapped around her in a tight hold. Wearing black slacks and a blue shirt, he had joked that he felt like a slob among all the professionally dressed girls. Lauren smiled, remembering his comment. Focusing on the picture again, her smile fell as she stared at the two people grinning back at her. Her arms were wrapped around JCs waist, and they were smiling like dorks at the camera. Joey had taken the picture, and Lauren remembered that he had to take it three times. The first time, he had forgotten to take the lens cap off. The second, he somehow cut their heads off. Third times a charm, and the picture had come out perfectly.
Lauren laughed lightly to herself, remembering that she had even kept the picture where Joey had cut off her and JCs heads. It was fun to keep silly pictures, mostly because of the memories behind them.
Thinking about that picture made Laurens head raise. Where was that picture? She thought for a moment before remembering. Her photo album. It was still back at Jimmys apartment. An uneasy feeling swept over her, drawing her face into a frown.
"What's wrong?" Janssyn called, standing in the doorway of the closet. She had an armful of clothes wrung over her arm. A pair of shoes hung in either hand.
"I just remembered something." Looking back at the photo on her stand, she cleared her throat "My photo album. The one that I keep all my favorite pictures in. Its still back at the apartment." Her frown deepened "JC forgot it when he moved my stuff"
Tossing the clothes onto the foot of the bed, Janssyn crawling up towards Lauren. Sitting back on her heals, she placed her hands on her thighs. "I'm sure when he gets back, he'll go get it for you. Jimmys in Morocco this week for a shoot, so he's not there. You wont have to worry about another confrontation between them"
Laurens eyes shot to meet Janssyns. "He's not there?" She tried to keep her voice normal, to keep the enthusiasm out of it.
"Yeah. Lois said he left yesterday." Janssyns eyes narrowed as he studied Lauren. "Don't you even think about going over there, Lauren Catherine." she scolded. "I don't care if he's not there, you're not going."
"I wasn't thinking that" This time when she lied, she kept her eyes on Janssyns. Of course, they were unfocused so she didn't really have to look into them, but how was she to know?
Seeing how Lauren actually looked her in the eye, Janssyn accepted her answer. "Okay, then." Pulling back and scooting off the end of the bed, she headed back into the closet. "There's a couple more things in here I wanna grab, then we'll sort through it."
Janssyn knew how much that album meant to Lauren. She had seen her spend hour after hour staring at those photos, but it wasn't worth taking a chance over.
How could Lauren have forgotten about her photo album for this long? It was one of her prized processions. She remembered all those nights that she would lay on the couch in that empty apartment, Jimmy out with another girl. She would spend hours flipping through the pages, staring at the smiling faces looking back at her, remembering when each photo was taken.
There were pictures of her family. Her parents, grandparents, and cousin Daren graced the first few pages. She and Daren were the same age and had pretty much grown up together. Their mothers, being very close sisters, spent so much time together that it was inevitable that Lauren and Daren would spend just as much time together. He would take her dirt biking, and he even let her paint his fingernails once. Although he promised to beat her up if she ever told anyone. They had only been about six years old at the time, and Daren was always threatening to beat Lauren up if she told any of his friends that he did girly things with her, like tea parties and dressing up. There were pictures of them as babies, toddlers, and throughout the years.
Then there were pictures of Lauren and some of her friends from school, both elementary and secondary. Pictures of them at the school play in the fourth grade. Dressing up for Halloween. Pictures of her and her friends at high school football games sitting in the bleachers cheering on their schools team. Sitting in the halls. The prom. Graduation.
Pictures of her when she first started modeling. Her first few professional shots, and a few from shows, but mostly of her and the girls backstage. Clowning around and chatting were the only things that kept you sane while you waited for six hours or more for a show to start. She had made some of the best friends and met some of the most amazing people doing what she did. Pictures of her with some of the people she admired in the fashion industry, and other entertainment fields. From the Grammys a few years ago, when Janssyn and her had volunteered to be trophy girls. They hadn't made it big in the fashion world yet, and thought that this would a be fun experience. She had pictures of her with some of the music industry's best. Elton John, Backstreet Boys, Brian McKnight and more.
But the pictures that meant the most to her seemed to be the most recent. Pictures of NSync. Ones she had taken at concerts, backstage, hanging around, and just general behind the scenes shots. There was one in particular that she loved. It was of all the guys, sitting on Chris' couch, with Britney laying across their laps. They were laughing so hard over something Chris had said, that Lauren had had a hard time keeping her hand still enough to take the picture. Once she finally did, Lauren convinced Joey to do the same. Taking that photo, the guys pushed Joey off of them, sending him to the floor with a thud.
They were her memories. She lived for her memories, because sometimes they were all she had. And she had to get them.
After peeking inside the closet to see that Janssyn was in deep thought, staring at the choice of black purses in front of her, Lauren quietly slipped out of the bedroom. Quickly sneaking downstairs, she pulled on her shoes, grabbed her keys, and eased through the door without a sound.
"You think this one goes better with..........Lauren?" Janssyn looked around the empty room, eyes narrowing. Dropping the two purses from her hands onto the bed, she stepped out into the hallway. "Lauren?"
Hearing the start of an engine outside, Janssyn ran down the stairs. She flung open the front door just in time to see Laurens car pull away and down the street, the gates slowly closing behind her.
"Shit!"
Closing the door, Janssyn rushed into the kitchen. She pulled the receiver from the phone on the wall, the cord tangling and slowing her down. "For Christ sake!" she cursed, trying desperately to untangle the cord, which didn't seem to be grasping the concept of what she was trying to do. Grabbing the small black address book from the table by the phone, Janssyn flipped through it. "Jesus Christ, why the hell isn't Jives number in here!" Throwing the book down angrily, she stomped her foot with frustration. She held the top of the phone to her lips, pursing them in thought. Cell phone! All the guys had cell phones, surely one of them had their phone on.
Picking the book off the floor, she flipped through again. Coming across the letter C, she scanned for JCs cell number. Yes! It was here! She didn't even bother to wonder why he would have written his own cell number in his address book.
She quickly dialed the number, and placed the phone to her ear. Tapping her foot on the ground impatiently, she urged someone to answer. "Com'on, com'on!" Her fingers nervously drumming on the side of her hip.
"Hello?" Finally, someone answered.
"JC! Its Janssyn. We've got a problem."
