Surviving Relena

Thank you to Mizuno for another wonderful title.

WARNING: This contains yaoi and its a FUNNY death fic. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE A RELENA FAN, which I'm not. :)

After an intense battle with OZ forces, the five gundam pilots were on a small island, regrouping and computing their losses. They had originally been sent out to rescue Relena but they were side tracked when their gundams had to be crashed on the island.

"We should be able too repair Wing enough to go get help from Howard. It's the least damaged," Trowa expained to the other five after examining the gundams.

"We'll scout now for a camp and begin repairs tomorrow morning," Heero ordered.

"Wufei, Trowa, and I will scout the far end," Quatre volunteered with a bright smile.

"Agreed. Duo and I will scout around here and up around those cliffs. There might be a good place to camp." Heero said scanning the beach.

"Uh, Heero are we missing someone? We're all here but I think we're forgetting someone..." Duo frowned momentarily.

"Ohmygod! We forgot about Relena. She's all by herself. What if she was captured? What if she was killed? What if she's on the island? What if...?" Quatre babbled nervously looking around, as if expecting to get hit with a high heel shoe in Relena's anger.

"Relax Quatre. We'll look for her while we are scouting," Trowa assured the smaller blonde boy.

They split up into the two groups, searching quietly but determinly for the Sank kingdom heiress and a place to spend the night. Duo and Heero scaled a large cliff, using the height to search along the white beach. Hearing a noise, Duo turned around.

"Relena?! It's you. Thank goodness you are safe," Duo said with genuine feeling (he doesn't know Relena knows about him and Heero, Poor Duo!)

"Heero!" Relena burst past Duo, ignoring the slightly pissed off boy, slamming into Heero and latching onto him.

"Get off!" Heero growled, thinking nasty and evil thoughts about tossing her off the cliff. Duo walked up, seeing the evil look in Heero's eyes. He steadied Heero while prying Relena off the colbalt-eyed boy. Duo tightened his grip on Heero to keep him from doing something drastic.

"Don't touch him Duo!" Relena shouted angrily. "He's mine!"

"Um, okay Relena. Relax. Did you drink the sea water?" Dup asked warily, still steading his fellow gundam pilot, keeping him on top of hte cliff.

"I said don't touch him!" Relena walked up to Duo, who hastily retracted his hand.

He laughed nervously, "See? Duo's not touching Heero."

"Duo," Relena whispered quietly. Moving around Heero, forcing him to step back or force Duo off the cliff's edge. Relena motioned Duo foward as if she was going to tell him a secret.

"Hmm?" Duo leaned closer to hear.

"Shine," she whispered, using all her strength to shove Duo over the edge.

Duo's eyes got large. "Nani?" Time froze as Duo looked from Relena's blood thirsty look to Heero's startled look of concern and fear and open mouth before gravity grabbed him and the ground rushed up to meet him.

He was unable to right himself in the fall and Duo crashed into the wet sand, which luckily absorbed most of the impact, on his back. The air was forced from his lungs and he was knocked unconscious.

"DUO!!!" Heero shouted, seeing his lover laying on the beach below, not moving. "Answer me!" Fear and panic raced through his brain, but the soldier in him grabbed them as he raced down the trail, ignoring Relena's cries of protest.

"Heero! Matte! I did that for us! Heeeeroooo!"

Heero reached Duo in record time. He felt for a pulse in Duo's neck. It was there but slowing as Duo's battered body was unable to draw breath. Heero opened Duo mouth and forced air into the starving lungs. The other pilots raced up the beach toward them.

"Heero what happened? We heard you shout for Duo. Is he alive?" Quatre asked concerned as Heero bent to force another lung full of air into Duo. Quatre leaned into Trowa's embrace as Heero bent to gove Duo more air

"Aa. He's alive. Duo no baka."

"How did this happen?" Wufei asked looking down at the battered body of his fellow pilot.

"Relena pushed Duo *breath* off the cliff *breath* and now he's...breathing." Heero said as Duo took a ragged breath on his own. "Finally. He's still unconscious and I'm not sure on the extent on his injuries."

"Relena...?" Quatre looked up at the scowling blonde girl.

"Pushed Duo...?" Trowa continued with the sentence also looking up.

"Off the cliff?" Wufei finished shaking his head.

"Hai," Heero's kept his answer short keeping an eye on Duo's breathing. He quickly felt for broken bones.

"Well?" Quatre peered over his shoulder.

"His back will bruise badly and a few ribs are bruised but no more. Lucky baka."

"Wow! Shinigami pulls through again," Quatre giggled.

"We found a deep cave about half a mile from here. It's well hidden. We wouldn't have found it except Wufei tripped into it," Trowa said almost smiling at the memory.

"Fine. We'll go there. Lead the way." Heero gathered Duo gently into his arms ignoring both Relena's shouts and Duo's pained moans.

"What about her?" Wufei asked looking up at the annoying blonde.

"Leave her. There's nothing dangerous here, except me." Wufei continued to lead the way to the accidentally discovered cave. When they arrived, Heero gently laid down his lover and carefully rearranged the long limbs.

"We'll go continue to scout out this area. Here's the first aid kit." Quatre handed it to Heero and pulled the other two pilots out of the cave behind him.

Heero watched the others leave before pulling off Duo's shirts and carefully tending to the bruised ribs. He wrapped the elastic bandage around the braided boy's chest, wincing at the pained sounds that left the split lips. Heero watched his lover's slender bosy slowly take in breath. He noticed the way the muscles tensed as he began to stir.

"Heero?" Duo called out blinking his violet eyes sleepily.

"I'm right here Duo," Heero whispered into Duo's ear. "How are you feeling?"

"Sore." Duo laughed wincing as the pain in his chest made itself known and his lip began to bleed again. "What happened?"

"How much do you remember?" Heero asked peering into Duo's bright eyes, looking for any kind of concussion.

"No fair answering a question with a question. Demo, I remember our fight, scouting and finding Relena, and her pushing me... then blackness."

"You're sore because she pushed you off the cliff we were on." Heero frowned.

"So doc, anything broken?" Duo teased.

"Iie." Heero leaned over to catch the soft lips in a kiss. "Nothing's broken."

"Good." Duo took full advantage of the kiss, plundering the warm cavern of Heero's mouth when he opened it. Duo pulled back for air and Heero moved in to kiss him again. They were lip locked when a noise caught his attention.

"Duo! What the hell are you doing to Heero? He's mine!" Relena pulled a big gun from behind her back and aimed it at Duo.

"M-matte Relena. What are you doing? Put the gun away onegai?" Duo squiggled away from Heero. "He was only checking my... eyes, yeah! He was checking my eyes for mmphhle." Duo was cut off by Heero gently cramming his braid into his mouth.

"Relena put the gun away and leave before I do something the world will regret."

Relena lost herself in Heero's eyes and lowered the gun. Suddenly, she raised the gun and aimed it at Heero. "He brainwashed you, hasn't he? If I shoot him, you'll jump in the way, won't you? So if I shoot you, you can't protect him and he'll loose his hold on you after I kill him. Then you'll realize that you are mine!"

Heero could hear the others making their way down the beach to the cave. As they entered, Quatre said politely, "Oi Relena-sama, welcome. Are you hungary...Please don't point that gun at me. Or at the others."

Relena turned around. "Gomen nasai Heero, but when you are free, you'll understand." Relena pulled the trigger.

*BANG!!!*

"No!" Duo moved quickly, ignoring the screaming of his battered muscles. He shoved Heero out of the way with his shoulder, taking the bullet himself.

*Thwak* Wufei disarmed Relena with a karate chop to the wrist, just after she had fired. "Shimatta!"

"Duo?" Heero called to the boy on top of him. "Oi Duo?" He ignored the tightening of his throat and blinked away the tears gathering in his eyes.

"Do you see now? Duo Maxwell's control over you will be broken and you'll see that you really love only me! Heero? Are you listen...mphmhpmmeghgph??"

Relena's last words were cut off as Trowa gagged her while Wufei and Quatre tied her up. When they were done they turned to Heero.

Heero was checking for Duo's pulse. Nothing?! Matte! There it is! Slow but steady. Heero pulled Duo into his lap as he checked the wound. Luck was with you Duo. Thank your god. The bullet hit your shoulder, it's not deep, but it is bleeding. Thank you Duo, koi, thank you. Ai shiteru.

"We need to take the bullet out," Heero said quietly, his voice not quite steady.

"Here's the first aid kit. Let me help." Quatre opened the kit and knelt beside Heero. After several minutes and many pained grunts from the poor and once again unconscious braided pilot, the bullet was removed. Heero bandaged up the wound and wrapped Duo back into his over shirt.

"Heero, we are going to take Relena and go work on the gundams. You'll watch Duo right?" Quatre asked.

Trowa hefted Relena over one shoulder and walked out of the cave with the chinese and arabic pilots following. They were gone before Heero could answer Quatre.

Heero sat with Duo in his lap, silently stroking Duo's hair while he waited for the others to return or Duo to awaken.

"Put me down you ruffian!" Relena's shout broke Heero's trance. He stopped petting Duo as he reached for his gun. He cudddled Duo protectively and raised the gun as the others entered the cave's mouth.

"Heero, would you please put the gun down?" Wufei asked stopping short, but being pushed foward as the other two ran into him. Heero motioned Wufei and Quatre out of the way with the gun. Trowa, who had complied with the earlier wishes of Relena, moved slightly to one side.

"Move Trowa." Heero commanded.

"Only if you put the gun down," Trowa bargained.

"I have no problem shooting you too Trowa, move aside." Heero's voice was hard as gundanium and three times as cold.

"Trowa..." Quatre's voice was loud in the silence that followed. "Heero, you can't shoot Relena! We need her for...peace and besides she's a pacafist."

"She shot Duo. How peaceful and pacafistlike is that? She needs to pay." Heero growled bringing the gun level at Relena.

Wufei took the silence as an opportunity."If you shoot her, you'll be hunted even more and then what? What about Duo?" Wufei nearly laughed at the change in Heero's expression at Duo's name.

"Yeah, what about Duo?" a voice croacked from Heero's lap. "Waitaminute! What about me?" Duo asked eyeing the gun over his head.

"Duo!" The name burst from five throats; four happily, one angrily.

Heero carefully pulled Duo into a sitting position, dropping the weapon, and hugging Duo tightly.

"H-Heero...can't...breathe!" Duo gasped. Heero reluctantly released him, but only slightly. "Arigato. Wow to think, I was almost killed four times in one afternoon. I think it's a new record." Duo laughed, drawing relieved laughter from the other pilots.

"Oi Heero, I almost forgot! This has been blaring over the radio for the last half hour." Quatre held up a small radio, turing up the volume.

It blared, "...has been achieved. I repeat, Peace has been achieved. Since the disappearance of Relena peacecraft early yesterday morning, a peace treaty had been signed between the Earth forces and OZ. The search is still on for the five gundam pilots who are responsible for the demilitarization. The Colonies are sending their congradulations and offering specialized jobs to the pilots. I once again repeat PEACE HAS BEEN ACHIEVED!"

"My mistake," Quatre began, "I guess she's not the solution. Oh well. Matte. What about her shield, you know, the one that activates when she's in danger?"

"It only works when she's needed. And she's not, so there. Oi Relena, just had to tell you, I never loved you and I never will. I love Duo. Sayonara." *Bang* "Now did you finish any of the gundams?"

"Better yet. We finished all of them. We'll probably have to carry Shinigami back to Howard's though. Then we should go on a real vacation and then..." Quatre babbled onabout plans for the future as Trowa escorted him outside. Wufei followed, snorting, but inwardly pleased to have the war over.

Heero picked Duo up and carried him outside, keeping him close. Duo leaned up and kissed Heero on the lips. "If you feel up to it, after a nap and a lot of food, I think I could use some exercise." Heero SMILED. "I love you Heero."

"Ai shiteru Duo." Heero laughed, pulling Duo closer. "I think I'll take you up on that offer."

Heero climbed into his gundam, taking Duo with him, and with Trowa and Quatre carrying Shinigami, they flew home to *exercise*.

***~OWARI~***