QUESTION
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I was asked once what I was during the war, of course, I said student, no need to scare the guy. But that one question made me think, well when I got home, 'what was I really?' That question haunted me for a while.

I know what I was. A trained soldier, a terrorist, an effective killing machine. I was a munitions expert, a weapons expert and I had been trained how to kill a man in hundreds of different ways. A pilot, yes I was a pilot too, a damn good one but, really, what was I?

I think I've decided, but I really can't be sure since I have changed so much after the war. I was a frightened child forced to fight for people who hated me and against people who hated me. And yes, child, I may have been forced to grow up, but I was still just a child. I was a weapon, used by others to kill. I was hiding my vunerable self behind a mask, just like the others. I was. That is my answer for what I *was* not what I am. Now I am trying to be a carefree adult, free to laugh, cry, hate, or love. But of course, I am still tainted by my previous self, my alter ego. But I am still changing, still living, and learning more everyday with my lover, my soul-mate.

That question no longer haunts me because I have embraced what happens now and what happened then, mixing them. God help the man or woman or child who tried to start another war to force others to go through what I had, have, will have to. They will meet me. And God have mercy on the person who threatens my 'family,' my fellow pilots for I will not and that person's life will be mine, it will be Shinigami's.

Oh, Heero calling with hand cuffs and whip cream. See, we're learning how to love together. *wink*

***owari***