I WANT IT THAT WAY by Jessica C. Padilla
I Want It That Way
by: Jessica C. Padilla
Chapter One
I had pictured myself and Howie walking
together slowly through a long and
narrow hallway. I had a blindfold covering
my eyes so I wasn't able to see
where I was at
exactly. I heard the sound of a door lock
starting to open. It seemed as we
were heading
off towards the inside of a room. I felt
Howie's left hand as he was helping
me guide in
the right direction.
He said, "Don't worry, Jessie, I'm leading
the way!"
I
said, "Ok,
Howie where are we?" "Can I take the
blindfold off now?" "The suspense is
killing me!"
Howie replied, "Not yet, until I say so!"
"Ok, whatever you say, Howie!", I
replied. All
of a sudden, Howie stopped guiding me and we
both stopped walking.
Howie
then said,"Ok Jess, are you ready?"
I said, "Yes, of course I am!"
I was about to
take the blindfold
off of my eyes by myself when Howie said,
"No, let me do it, sweetie,
please!" I then let him take the blindfold
off me. My eyes were still shut so I still
saw
complete darkness.
Howie then said, "Ok Jessie, open you eyes!"
As I opened my eyes, I was utterly
surprised by the whole miraculous
vision of an
enormous hotel suite we were in. I
envisioned us standing in the middle of
the suite just
looking all around it. The setting looked
extremely beautiful and
breathtaking. I noticed
every little detail the suite had to offer
us. The lights were dimly lit
just the right way.
There were also lit candles on the floor
surrounding all over us. It seemed
as if I could
closely smell the light aroma of sweet roses
and candle wax fumes since they
were
lingering all throughout the suite. As I saw
myself taking in a deep breath
of it, I could
feel as if it were lifting my spirits high
up. The incense felt so soothing
that it relaxed all of my senses. I also
noticed a small fireplace located on the far
right side
of the suite. It
was highly lit with crackling sounds as it
warmed the entire suite. I also
saw a balcony
which led to a spectacular view of the
Manhattan skyline at night from a far
distance.
There was also a king-size bed decorated with
silky beige sheets and covered
with
thousands of red rose petals all over. I
looked at Howie and had a huge
smile on my face.
"Oh my gosh, Howie!" "This is all too
beautiful and romantic!" "I love it!"
"Who came
up with this idea?" "Did your brother John
give you any type of ideas?", I
asked.
"No
baby, John didn't give me any type of ideas."
"I came up with this special
idea as a big
birthday surprise for you!" "I'm glad you
love it, sweetie!", Howie replied.
"Awww, that's
so sweet of you for doing this for me on my
birthday!", I replied. Then, I
gently gave him
a quick kiss on the cheek and gave him my
best smile. Howie smiled back
sweetly and
winked at me.
He then said, "Why don't you make yourself
comfortable and
wait for me
by the bed?"
"Sure!", I said as I proceeded to the edge
of the bed and
leaned against its
metal post. I saw Howie standing nearby a
stereo system, whereby he opened
up the CD
player and placed several sorts of CDs in it
filled with many romantic
ballads and
melodies. The low romantic music in the
background made the mood inside the
suite even
more pleasurable and special. He then
proceeded walking towards a coffee
table where
there was a bottle of champagne chilled on
ice and a huge bowl of chocolate
covered
strawberries on the side. He took the
champagne bottle and uncorked it. A
loud sound
popped and a sizzle fizzled out afterwards.
He took two long stemmed glasses
and slowly
poured out the champagne into them. He
placed them on a tray with the bowl of
strawberries next to it and walked over to
where I was at. He then placed
the tray on a
night stand table next to the bed and handed
me over my champagne glass. He
took his
glass and raised it to make a toast.
Howie then said, "This is to you,
Jessie on your
birthday, may you live many more years to
come and may all your wishes come
true!"
He
had a sweet smile on his face after he said
this. I replied, "Thank you,
honey!" "You're
one of a kind!" We both raised our champagne
glasses, made them touch, and took sips
out of them. Howie then took the bowl of
strawberries and said, "Here Jess,
take one,
they're really good!" I took one at his
request and gave a big bite into it.
Howie also took
one and ate it too. The chocolate covered
strawberry tasted delicious as I
slowly
savoured it inside my mouth.
"Mmm, this is really yummy!", I said.
He then
said, "Take a
sip out of the champagne, the strawberry will
give more flavor to it!" I
took a sip and
surely enough the strawberry did bring more
flavor out of the sparkling white
champagne
that I had sipped!
All of a sudden, we both heard I Knew I
Loved You by Savage Garden
playing out
of the stereo system. This was our song, so
Howie took the champagne glass
out of my
hand and gently placed it right next to his
on the night stand table. He
took my hand and
said in an English accent, "May I have this
dance, my birthday girl?"
I
smiled and replied,
"Of course, I'd be honored, darling!", in an
English tone as well. We both
started giggling
as he led me on a slow dance along with him.
The night seemed quiet and yet
so perfect
for it to never end. As we were slow dancing
to our song, Howie leaned in to
hug me.
I felt his strong arms wrap around my
body. I was strictly lost as I
felt the fire in
his sweet embrace for a quite short while.
And then the special moment
happened when
we both shuddered from the closeness of our
bodies. I could feel every inch
of him warm against me, neither of us wanted
to let go! Slowly we drew apart, still
holding each other,
we gazed into each other eyes. His large and
deep brown puppy dog eyes shone
like stars
and looked completely mesmerizing from a
close distance. There was a certain
gentleness
in him, a kindness beneath his eyes. We had
completely forgotten the world
around us. I
then unclipped the barrette out of my
ponytail hairdo. My soft and beautiful
dark brown
hair ringlets had flowed down gently well
past my shoulders. Howie had a
surprised look
on his face.
He said, "Wow, you look beautiful,
Jessica!" "You should wear
your hair
down more often!"
I replied, "Thank you, I think I will do it
more often
Howard!"
Afterwards he started to lick his lips slowly
and gave me a quick come-hither
look
followed by a wink. I touched his thick and
tender lips with my fingertips
and he
immediately licked off each one of them with
his warm and wet tongue. He
went to kiss
my cheek and began to pull away, but
couldn't! Slowly, he moved to my mouth
and we
began french-kissing slowly and passionately.
He tasted so good, his lips
were so strong.
The touch of his lips and tongue made me
tingle in places I didn't know
existed!
Howie
then said, "Do you still want me to go easy
on you?"
I said, "No."
His
powerful hands
moved over my body, down the small of my
back, pressing me so hard against
him. He
felt like heaven, like nothing I had ever
felt. He lifted me up, wrapping my
legs tightly
around him. He was rock hard! I felt like I
wanted him more than I had ever
wanted
anything. He then lowered me gently onto the
king-size bed full of rose
petals, ripping my
shirt clear off my body! He then removed my
shirt and undid my silky black
bra. He took
it to his nose and smelt it. He took my huge
voluptuous breasts in one
devouring motion!
He knew exactly what I wanted. He knew my
body! His hand moved up my thigh
and
slid up my skirt. I ached for him. Howie
then continued to remove my
matching panties
with his teeth. His hands were so powerful,
I felt my animal instincts begin
to surface with
every move he made.
I asked, "May I take off your shirt and
pants?"
He
replied, "Yes,
darling." And so, I did just that! He
looked extremely gorgeous and
stunning as he stood
completely nude in front of me. He
practically took my breath away! Finally
he lowered
himself onto my ready and hot body and slid
inside me. He felt so good I
wanted to
scream. He then started to pump away with
expertise. Looking into each
others eyes we
began to lose control. Not too slow, not too
fast. It was beyond perfect.
With each
thrust I was giving myself to him and he was
giving himself to me. We did it
for an hour
and a half non-stop, until we climaxed
together. He rolled off and whispered
those sweet
and tender words into in my ear, "I love you
so much, baby!" I looked at his
sacred and
sexy face and whispered back those same exact
words to him as well. When it
was all
over, I placed my head gently on his chest
and looked up at the ceiling. I
felt complete
ecstasy, total freedom and peace when I was
with Howie. I felt like the most
luckiest and
cherished woman to exist on the face of the
earth! I felt as if I have never
had such deep
and strong emotions with another guy as I did
with Howie.
We then ended up
sleeping
into each others arms. All of a sudden, I
saw ourselves disappearing and
fading away.
As I proceeded heading on to the next
sequence of the dream, I
immediately woke
up to the loud and startling sound of the
alarm which went off blasting to
the song, I Want
It That Way at 6 o'clock in the morning. I
was disappointed and completely
ecstatic at the
same time to find that it was only just a
sensuous and erotic dream and a
great one at that!
I realized that even though the dream felt so
surreal at times that it was
just complete and
total fantasy now. I awoke with a huge smile
on my face as I was aware that
it was my
birthday and sang along to I Want It That Way
with the radio on. I felt
completely
refreshed from the deep sleep that I had just
had. I kept thinking to myself
just how good
my dream was and recounting endlessly that it
was the best damn dream I had
ever had
with Howie in it! I immediately grabbed my
diary and blue pen out of my
night stand's
drawer and jotted down the recollection of my
dream in very brief details.
The images
from this incredible dream of mine were all
still fresh and hung up in my
mind. They
began to resurface the realms of my
subconscious and head directly into my
conscious
mind.
As I started scribbling down the events
of my dream, I heard a loud ring
come up
from my cordless phone. I picked it up and
answered with a "Hello". I heard
a sweet and
friendly voice answer back from the other
side of the line. The high pitched
voice was
singing along to the lyrics of Happy Birthday
followed by a short greeting
of, "Hi sweetie,
Happy Birthday!". The recognizable voice
belonged to Howard Dorough. He was
calling
me from his cellular phone to wish me a Happy
Birthday on my special day! He
called me
"sweetie" out of the pure kindness that he
felt towards me. To him, I was
his one and only
genuine best friend.
I immediately responded back, "Hi Howie!"
"Awww,
that's so sweet
of you to actually remember my birthday!"
"What a surprise being that most
guys usually
forget this kind of stuff!"
Howie then replied, "You know that I would
never
forget your
birthday Jessie!" "You know that right?"
And I answered back, "Yeah, well I
guess
you're right, Howie!" "Can you guess how old
I turn out today?"
"You turn
23 years old
today." "I must surely be right on that one,
I believe?", Howie said.
"Nope, I turn 24,
you missed it by just one year!", I replied
back.
"Oh well, at least I
remembered your
birthday and that's what counts!" Howie
answered. "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!!",
I laughed hysterically while still
remembering my first erotic dream with him in
it.
"What's so
funny?" "Why are you laughing?", Howie
remarked in a sweet tone.
"Ahhh,
nothing, I
just remembered what had happened to my dog
Sunnie while I was walking him
down to
the park yesterday.", I lied.
"So, what happened to him, Jess?", Howie
asked.
"He
accidentally slipped and fell on top of this
large pile of colorful dried
leaves on the cement
floor." "You should have seen him Howie!"
"He looked so funny!" "Being the
cute and
playful cockerspaniel that he is, his curly
ears had made one major flip-flop
to the back of
his head and his big and furry paws had flung
up in the air just waiting to
be held!" "Heh,
heh, heh, heh, heh!!!", I replied.
"Oh my gosh, Jess is he okay?" "Did you
have him
checked out by the vet to see whether he
turned out fine or not?" "I hope
the little guy
didn't break anything around his body!" "We
wouldn't want anything wrong to
happen to
him now wouldn't we?", Howie remarked.
"Oh, of course, I took him to the
vet, Howie!"
"Luckily Sunnie didn't suffer from any type
of bad injury, broken bones, or
black and blue
bruises anywhere around his chunky body,
thank goodness!", I replied.
"Oh am
I glad to
hear that, Jessie!" "You know how much love
and care I have for your dog
Sunnie, don't
you?", Howie replied.
"Yeah, I know Howie, just as much as I do!",
I
answered.
"Well,
let me let you go because remember I've got a
dance rehearsal with Fatima and
the rest of
the guys at 9 o'clock sharp in Madison Square
Garden.", Howie replied.
"Oh,
ok Howie!"
"Don't work too hard, ok?", I said. "Don't
worry, everything will be fine!"
"The rest of
the guys would have called you to wish you a
happy birthday too but, they're
still fast
asleep right now." "There's still a chance
for them to personally give you
your birthday
wishes when you come by later on though."
"By the way, can you still be able
to make it
today?" "I know you have a hectic schedule
and all but, I'd really like for
you to see us
rehearse our dance routine for our upcoming
new video to Show Me The Meaning
of
Being Lonely!", Howie said.
"Oh, of course, I'll be able to make it,
Howie!"
"You know
that I would never miss the opportunity of
seeing you and the rest of the
guys rehearse or
perform live for that matter!", I replied
back.
"That sounds great, Jess!"
"Then I'll be
seeing you at noon during our lunch break,
what do you think?", Howie asked.
"Sure,
noon sounds fine to me!", I answered.
"Well, see you later then Jessica!",
Howie said.
"Laters, Howie!" "Oh, and thank you so much
for singing happy birthday to
me!" "I
really enjoyed listening to your sweet, high
falsetto voice!" "Bye!", I
answered.
"You're
very welcome, my sweet!" "Laters Jessie!"
"Bye!", Howie replied. As I hung
up the
phone, I couldn't stop thinking about the lie
I had given Howie. It was the
first time I had
ever deceived him. It felt so wrong yet
right simultaneously because we were
just friends.
We've been that way for six years now. Our
relationship was simply platonic
and we
treated each other like brother and sister
the whole time we were together.
Ever since he
started out with the Backstreet Boys back in
1993, we've always been there
for one
another through thick and thin. I've always
considered him as one of most
closest and
dearest best friends. He has always consoled
me in time of need and knew
exactly what to
say at the right time and he still does. But
lately, it seemed as if I was
feeling some type of
extreme and deep emotion towards Howie, more
now than ever before. It felt
sort of
weird just thinking about it because of our
solid and harmonious friendship
being that six
years of being all pure and innocent is such
a long time. I had given some
more careful
thought on the little lie I had given Howie.
After thinking about it more
thoroughly, I
continued writing my most profound thoughts
on my diary entry:
Howie just finished phoning me to wish me a
Happy Birthday. He sang Happy
Birthday
to me which I found extremely sweet of him
for doing! I had hesitated in
telling him the
dream that I had with him and lied directly
to him instead. Sure, it was
only a small fib
but, I was too scared of telling him the
truth! If I would have told Howie
about the erotic
dream I had with him then I know for certain
that he would have definitely
freaked out
about it! Knowing him very well, he would
have been too scared to confront
me about it,
let alone, feel extremely embarrassed just
listening to all the graphic
details I would have
probably told him. I didn't have the courage
to do it! I now feel so
ashamed and guilty
for ever lying to him! I can't believe I
used Sunnie as an excuse in all of
this! What fault
does my poor dog have in this? Obviously
none, of course, but I did manage
to hid the
fact of having an erotic dream completely out
of Howie's knowledge! I mean,
Howie is
my best friend, or is he more than that now?
Openly, it seems that what my
dream is
telling me subconsciously is that I've always
loved Howie unconditionally. I
also feel
that I've always had a strong physical and
emotional attraction towards him
all
throughout the time I've been strictly
friends with him. I honestly haven't
been able to
demonstrate it to him directly for fear of
what he might really think of me.
I also believe
that I've always had some true and powerful
infatuation for him. The problem
now is,
how do I let Howie know the true feelings
that I've been having for him all
this time?
Although I realize now that I love Howie more
than just a friend, I really
don't want to
jeopardize our friendship from breaking apart
at all. I still want it to
remain the same
way it has always been but still have
something more with him. How should I
confront
him with this problem without hurting him?
Will he be able to face the music
through my
eyes at all? I guess only time will tell
and, as God as my witness, will I
only have the
power of solving this problem! I now have to
find the proper way of telling
him before he
finds that special someone and risk the
chance of losing him forever. I
strictly want to
avoid any of this from happening at all but,
how do I start? How would he
truly react to
my true feelings for him? I wonder if he
feels the same way for me too?
Maybe he does
and I don't even know about it! He's
probably hiding his true feelings for
me and doesn't
want me to know. But then again, maybe he
doesn't feel the same way as I
feel for him as
well. All I know is that there's a 50%
chance for Howie to really love me
plus another
50% for him to not really love me in that
way. I should definitely have the
courage to tell
him exactly how I truly feel about him and
ask him how he truly feels towards
me also. I
shouldn't feel discouraged at all because
we're both very trusting friends.
I should start
acting now before it's too late!
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