The next day was a concert. We were all really pumped up. As we got to the stadium, it was jammed packed outside with people waiting to get in. They screamed sooo loud, waving and holding up signs. The guys loved the attention, but it got to points where it was dangerous and scary. Just imagining your face being on a big poster in 9 trillion rooms all around the globe was pretty scary itself for them. After a day of sitting around, being fools on the big round stage (one of the neatest things ever), and rampaging everything, we began to get ready for the concert. Things got a little crazy as performers got antsy, adrenaline kicked in, and the clock ticked. Tatyana was still with us and she enjoyed every minute.
Once the time to get on stage arrived, we dancers were in our orange jumpsuits, feeling like mechanics or something. Sometimes Nef would walk up to me, her chest out and her arms slightly out from her waist with hands clenched in fists, and legs spread out, and talk to me in a deep voice.
" I AM SUPER DANCER. Woman of many powers. I can dance, look pretty, and kick ass at the same time. It may take a man to think that, but it takes a woman to do it," Nef boomed at me. I looked at her and cracked up.
"I AM DANCER GIRL. Woman of many treasures. I dance, I date Backstreet Boys, and I kick ass. They know me as G," I stood her up. We walked closer to one another and glared each other down, until we both cracked and began to laugh our heads off.
Not a half hour later, the actual show was starting. We were in some pretty interesting outfits. I didn't know what they were thinking when they designed our outfits. I felt so ridiculous in some of them.
Onstage, it felt different from the usual nights. I couldn't pin point what exactly it was, but it was something. Suddenly, as I walked past Howie onstage, I felt something barely hit my calf. I couldn't react to the quick pain, so I just bit my lip and kept on dancing. A few seconds later, something missed my hip by a few inches. I couldn't stop to see what it was, because my focus was on what I was doing as well as the boys and where I was supposed to be. All I knew was that I was getting nailed by unknown stuff. And it wasn't as if they were accidentally hitting me, these girls were aiming for me. I grew frightened that something would hit me and make me fall, perhaps off the stage or into something. It was so dangerous for things to be thrown on stage, especially with so much going on up there, but these people were deliberately throwing things at me! I knew exactly why too, and I also figured that was why I wasn't getting too many things thrown at me. Which was a good thing, in my case.
As soon as our clothes change came, we ran to the backstage dressing room where we were and immediately took everything off, swiftly changing from outfit to outfit, as this was our routine.
"Did you guys notice everything that was being thrown at me?!" I cried as I took off my jumpsuit.
"Yeah! It's cuz you're Howie's girlfriend. That's why," Tae said.
"I know but still! That is sooo dangerous! I hope the guys notice and ask them to stop!" I replied. As I changed, I quickly took a look at where the first object had hit me. I had a small gash, but it was only bleeding a little. I grumbled and covered it up with my pants.
"Is it bad?" Bunni wanted to know, without looking at me.
"What? Oh no. It's not too bad, but hurts like hell," I answered. Then, no more could be said because we were all done dressing and had to run back out to where we entered. As the five of us stood there, I saw Howie, AJ, and Nick walking by. They too had just gone through an outfit change. I pulled D aside and told him to ask the girls to stop throwing stuff at the dancers because it was dangerous to all of us. He gave me a kiss and told me he and the guys would take care of it. They were always worried about our safety. A rumor had gone around earlier that Kristin was AJ's girlfriend, so she was always being hit by crap thrown by the audience. Something nailed her in the head one night and almost knocked her unconscious.
It was a good thing Kevin saw this and stopped in the middle of the song to ask the girls not to throw anything because it was dangerous.
As soon as we got on stage, I braced myself for another bombardment. When the first item came flying my way, Howie, who had his eye on me, asked the audience not to throw things. That pretty much stopped a majority of the objects being tossed at me. I felt a lot more comfortable, knowing I had five guys there to protect me if they had to, and finished the concert with a less fear than I began it with.
"Hey Tommy, can you ask the people at your website not to throw stuff at us? I got a gash in my calf tonight because of some fan," I told the keyboard player as we sat around in the band's dressing room after the concert, breathing heavily as we were all tired and drenched with sweat.
"Geez Steph, are you okay?" Bubba wanted to know. "Lemme see that gash." I pulled up my pant leg and showed it to him. "It'll take a few days to heal. You'll be fine." He pulled my pant leg back down, patted my calf, and walked away to his corner. I plopped myself down on the couch and sighed heavily.
"Tired?" Mindi asked as she put her instruments back in their cases. I shook my head yes and closed my eyes for a split second. The next thing I knew, a head was on my shoulder. I opened my eyes and looked beside me. Howie lifted his head and smiled.
Then Emily, Amy, and Nef walked in.
"What is this? The party room?" Guy cried. We all laughed. Amy came over and sat beside Howie.
"It got boring out there," Amy replied. Amanda's parents were backstage, talking to the guys and the three girls were all pooped from the hectic, yet fun day. "Besides, you guys have all the candy and junk food." Just then, she reached over and grabbed a handful of crispy M&M's from the bowl on the table and dropped them, one by one, into her mouth.
"Hey any of you guys have ice?" I asked. Mindi opened an ice chest and handed me an ice pack. I smacked it on my leg and sat there, wincing a little at the pain. Howie gave me a worried look as he watched my reactions.
"I'm really sorry about this Steph," he told me. I smiled and patted his knee.
"Don't worry about it D. It's not your fault." He smiled. "Gosh I am soo bushed."
"Go get changed, then you can get to sleep in the bus," Howie said to me.
"No beach tonight..." I jokingly sighed, grabbing the ice pack and getting up.
"No siree," D answered. We exchanged a quick kiss, then I jetted out the door, Nef closely at my heels.
After gathering everything in my dressing room and changing, I looked around backstage until I found Amanda's parents. Then I gave them both a hug and thanked them for their hospitality before going to bed in the bus. After two nights on the beach, sleeping, I needed something padded. It was funny how D and I had accidentally spent another night out on the beach. It was just so relaxing that we had both fallen asleep on the warm sand and in each other's arms. So now I was ready for a bunk, strangely enough. This was going to be the last day Amanda would get to see her parents because we were leaving on our road trip that next morning, continuing towards another city in upstate Minnesota, then heading out towards the west coast.
In the bus, I grabbed my dog and took him into the bunk with me, where I curled up and closed my eyes, relaxing my tense muscles.
"Steph. Gilli. Wake up." I heard a whisper from my curtain. I opened my eyes sleepily and looked at Nick. "Come on. Let's go. We can do the dancer's bus tonight. Amanda said she'd drive us in the jeep over there." I groaned softly and got up. We had been wanting to do this and despite my painful gash, I wasn't going to back down on the boy.
As I grabbed a pair of shoes and an old, faded sweatshirt that once belonged to Howie, the two of us walked out of the bus, where we met Manda in her jeep. Two nights ago, while we were all out, Nick had gotten all of the stuff we would need and stuffed it in a big bag, then before we had left for the concert, he had thrown the bag into the jeep.
The three of us quickly stole away to the hotel, then crept into the back parking lot, after I I.D.ed myself as a Backstreet Boys dancer. We knew the clan would be out before anyone could find the mess. This was how we always did it.
"Okay Steph, you do the guys' bus. Manda, you can do the band's bus. I'll start on the dancers' bus," Nick instructed in a low whisper. The three of us were wearing dark clothing and I had on a black hat. I grabbed my provisions and began to "decorate" the dancers' bus. I drew heads of each of the guys in the windows with mustard, then wrote their names under the windows. I threw toilet paper rolls across the bus, then, using an old skateboard Nick always kept with him, would slide underneath the bus and wind the roll all the way to the other side. Amanda was smearing ketchup all over the side of the band's bus and Nick was writing "Happy Birthday Amy" on the dancers' bus in squirtable mayonnaise. Amanda and I smashed eggs, bananas, and potatoes on the buses, and decorating them with other objects. We squirted soap all over the front windows and doors as well. When we were all done, we went to help Nick do the girl dancers' bus to the max. We smashed cupcakes on the windows and drew a smiley face with mustard on the front of the bus. We drew a cake on the bus, "wrapped it up" in toilet paper, made a big bow out of the rolls we had, and made sure we took pictures of the buses before we left. It was sooo much fun. When the three of us were done, we sped away, giggling evilly.
"Steph...are you gunna get up? It's past your usual wake-up time," Howie asked through the curtains the following morning. I squinted in the sunlight and smiled.
"I am tired. Let me sleep," I whined.
"I would, but you have a phone call," he said, holding up his cell. I sighed and grabbed it, thanking him. I cleared my voice, then said hello.
"Nice work last night." It was Guy. I weakly laughed.
"Glad you like it Guy. You woke me up just to say that?" I complained.
"Well after the hour that it took us to clean the bus up, you deserve it!" he joked. I blinked slowly and chuckled softly.
"Well we had been wanting to do it for a long time now, Guy. I'm glad you liked it. But right now, I need to get up, so I'll talk to you later okay?" I asked, trying to end the conversation.
"Okay. See ya later Steph," Guy replied, before hanging up. I closed the phone and got up, causing Chachi to jump down from his spot beside me. I rubbed my eyes and looked at my surroundings. They all smiled at me and offered hellos. I plopped down in a seat and attempted to wake myself up. I was definitely not a morning person. I tossed the phone in the seat beside me and watched as it rang again. Then I answered it.
"Steph! I'm glad it's you! Hey I need to talk to you. I need you for a music video. Britney Spears. I need younger looking girls. You have to be in LA by the 19th. That's the day we start rehearsing the dancing routine. She needs lots of extras for this video and you're one of the youngest dancers I know," Fatima explained into the phone.
"Uh. Yeah. That shouldn't be a problem. It would be for like 4 weeks right?" I asked.
"Yeah. Somewhere around there. This is urgent and I'm sorry I called you at last minute, but most of the others are starting up school so I can't use them," she quickly told me. I could sense the rush Fatima was in.
"Sure. I can have someone here take my place. No problem. Amanda can take my place. She's had performing experience," I thought. "The 19th right?"
"Yes."
"That should be no prob--wait. Oh man! THEN?! Oh shit. I'm gunna miss Howie's birthday! 'Tima!! I haven't missed a birthday since the year I was born!!" I suddenly exclaimed. Brian and Nick looked over at me.
"I know Steph. And I'm really really sorry. Howie can fly out for the day or something. But this is extremely urgent and I really need you," Fatima continued. I grumbled in anger. I knew I couldn't back down on Fatima when she needed me, but Howie was just so important to me that I would feel absolutely horrible if I didn't spend his birthday with him and would never forgive myself.
"Okay. Sure. I'll do it. Give me a week and a half and I'll be ready okay?" I finally gave in.
"Okay. Thank you sooo much Stephanie. I know how much he means to you and all. Listen I gotta go so I'll chat with ya later okay?" Fatima replied.
"Bye Fatima," I said before hanging up.
I had a week and a half and four concerts to teach Amanda my parts and prepare her for what she was going to have to do. And also to prep Kevin for his partner change. Shivani and I would be departing from the tour on the same week, so I also had to prep Dani.
Danielle would be dancing with Howie, who adjusted easily to simple moves like these. I sat, calculating what had to be done in my head, when my chain of thoughts was interrupted. The cell phone was taken out of my hands and I found myself looking at D once again.
"What was that all about?" he wanted to know. I sighed.
"Fatima needs me for the Britney Spears video she's doing," I confided in him.
"Gilli that's great!" he cut me short.
"Yeah I know. But I have to leave on the 19th and I would be gone for about four weeks," I explained. "It'll be the first time I won't be here for your birthday."
Being the ever so optimistic person that he was, Howie gave me a sweet smile and said,
"Don't worry. We'll work it out. I promise." It was funny how the two of us were always saying "don't worry" or "look on the bright side." Somebody's optimism had rubbed off on the other and no one knew who's it was.
"But I have another dilemma. Know what happened to my nice pajamas?" Howie continued.
"Huh? Oh the silky ones?" I thought back.
"Yeah those. I couldn't find them last night. I know I don't wear them when we're on the bus but I was looking through my clothes and going through it all and I couldn't find them at all," he told me.
"Ya think those two girls stole them? The two who got into our room in Iowa?" I suggested.
"Hmm...maybe. But how? We were there the whole time and would've seen them," D pointed out.
"Yeah but I left to go to see how things were with Dani and Manda and you were asleep. They were in there for about five hours while we were," I noted.
"Man! Those were like my favorite pajamas too!" Howie sighed.
"Why do they have to steal all our stuff?" Nick pondered. He was probably the most frequent victim of fan theft. That boy had probably had to buy the same cds three times, to replace the ones that were stolen. The first copies he had bought of the cds were at his home, but he brought duplicates of the cds with him on tours because he knew they were gunna be stolen at one point. They always were.
"Hey Manda, wanna be a dancer?!" I suddenly blurted out as she passed by.
"What?!" she cried. "SURE!"
"'Kay. We'll start today when we get to the venue. The next concert is tonight and you can begin learning my parts while we're rehearsing everything," I told her.
"Wait. Your parts? Where are you going?"
"To LA."
"What for?" nearly everyone in the bus wanted to know.
"Britney Spears video," I answered all of them.
"Tell me what she's like!" Danielle called from the back of the bus.
"I will Dani! But I doubt there will be much to say!" I yelled back.
"She's not really social, except among her friends," Amanda explained. Dani came walking up to the front.
"Steph, can I dance with Kevin? I mean I'm a little closer to his height than Amanda--no offense or anything Manda," Dani asked.
"None taken!" Amanda briefly stated.
"Shouldn't be a problem," I replied, after doing some quick thinking. "Hey Dani wait. What's that around your neck?"
"Oh this? Kev gave it to me a few nights ago," she sighed, blushing a little. I got up and made my way towards her. I took the ring that was at the end of the necklace and held up.
"That's Kevin's ring! He...gave it to you?!" I exclaimed.
"Yeah. Read the inside," Danielle pointed out, blissfully. I looked in the ring and read a line from a Billy Joel song, "To Make You Feel My Love." Amanda was right beside me, inspecting the ring and chain.
"Whoa," was all she said. "He said he was going to get the ring cleaned, but I was in another store when they took it in and picked it up so I didn't know that he did that." Amanda and I wrapped Danielle up in a three way hug. Just then, Kevin woke up and got out of his bunk.
I squeezed past him and whispered, "you are so cute!"
"WHAT? What'd I do?" Kev wanted to know. Danielle sauntered over and gave him a kiss. Amanda and I cleared the small walkway between the bunks and joined the dogs in the back of the bus. Dani waved the ring under Kevin's nose. He smiled and gave her another kiss. "I love you."
"I love you too," Danielle answered back, with sweet serenity. It was just those few words that changed the atmosphere, the aura of the bus. Things were quiet for a few minutes as everyone readjusted themselves. Dani and Kevin walked out to the front of the bus and he poured two glasses of orange juice for them, then they sat at the table and drank them silently.
"Guess what sweetie? I'm gunna be dancing with you on stage for about 10 concerts," Dani enlightened him.
"No way? Really? That's awesome. Where will Steph be?" he was curious to know.
"At a Britney Spears video shoot. Four weeks. Manda is taking her spot and we're switching around so I can dance with you and she can dance with Brian," Danielle explained. Kevin smiled.
"That's really wonderful. I can't wait," he told her.
"I know. Neither can I," Dani added. They smiled at each other, then finished up their o.j. and put the glasses in the sink.
"I can't believe I'm gunna be leaving before Howie's birthday. I wanted to give him the ring on his birthday but I can't even do that," I confided in Amanda.
"Steph, don't worry about that. You know Howie. He will probably arrange for a special flight to LA for the day and rent a limo and then take you out dancing for the night after going out to dinner," Manda reassured me.
"Yeah I know. But I still feel bad. I mean it's not like he doesn't have the money to fly down or any of that stuff. It's just...he's going out of his way to spend time with me when he shouldn't have to," I tried to explain.
"Oh Gilli. You are always feeling so guilty about everything. Stop it. It's not your fault. Blame it on Fatima if you have to. But this type of work means more income for you and it wouldn't hurt to get paid big bucks to work in a music video. What will you be paid to be in the video?" Amanda was curious to know.
"Anywhere from five-hundred to a thousand dollars a day," I informed her. Amanda was shocked.
"See?! That's can mean nearly twenty-eight thousand for you for one video. Steph, you really should do it. Don't lose such an opportunity," she advised.
"I know, but you know I don't dance for the money. I dance because it's my passion," I quickly added
"Yeah I know but come on," she shot back. I laughed.
"Okay okay you're right," I finally gave in.
"Britney Spears isn't much of a talker. She likes to congregate with her dancers. She'll be nice to you and all, but she usually spends her time talking to either the famous people or her friends. Just to let you know," Amanda informed me.
"I'll remember that. I remember when she used to be on the Mickey Mouse Club and I wanted to be just like her cuz she was such a good dancer," I sighed, thinking back to the day.
"Well look at you now!" Brian replied, as he walked into the back room and picked up Tyke.
"What?" I asked.
"You're a successful dancer, plus you have a full time job with us and you know Howie wouldn't let us get rid of you, even if we paid you to leave," he joked. Amanda and I laughed.
"Hey Steph, I'll tell you what. You go down there and I promise you will hear from me on my birthday. Okay?" Howie compromised, after walking in and sitting down beside me. "And Brian--you're right. I wouldn't let her leave. Even if she wanted to." I giggled, then sighed, tired from the previous night's adventures. Then, Nick walked in.
"Being up there with those two...it...it just isn't fun," he explained. The four of us found that funny and reacted with laughter.
"And the infamous Nintendo Nicky reaches for his N64," Brian announced with a goofy voice. Nick jokingly glared at Brock, causing Frick to give him a dumb smile.
An hour later, we were at the venue, getting resituated in the backstage area. The hallways were fun to play in. Sometimes while we were waiting when we had on our big orange jumpsuits, Kristin and I would sneak down the halls, singing the Mission: Impossible theme song and clasping our hands together like guns. There would be times when Howie or Kevin would follow us with the video camera, or Tommy would run around taking pictures. He was always snapping pictures of us for his website. There were some pretty hilarious ones, and I couldn't understand why the fans hated us so much if it was so obvious how nice we were. We were all the guys' friends and why fans couldn't grasp that concept was beyond me. With our high, endless amounts of energy, the five of us girls were always the main form of entertainment offstage. Onstage, it was all concentration and no play. The nervousness quickly turned into adrenaline rushes as we grew used to the crowds of 60,000. Though I often didn't see the rest of the girls as much, I still loved them and all of us did stuff with them. The guys often secluded themselves, but there would be times when they would join us girls or the band. They were like another group of brothers along for the ride.
As I ran around the stage, then behind the stage, then in the aisles beneath the stage, THEN backstage, I began to realize how much this setting had become like my home. I also realized that four weeks away from it would drive me absolutely insane. How I would handle it was unbeknownst to me