That night was the most perfect night I have ever had. Making love to Brian was fabulous, not only because of the obvious, but to be with him. He was my world. I kept thinking about when I first met him. We were at Charity's apartment when Howie brought him over. He was wearing blue jeans, a baseball shirt with Braves written on it, and sneakers. All he would do was smile as he sat on the end of the couch.
I was so excited when he first asked me out. I have such a great time when I am with him, and now tonight, justifies my feelings for him. He whispers a lot, telling me things that I know he would never be able to say if we were sitting on the couch. He is so sweet. I look around the room, and see his clothes hanging up, and his sneakers, and our pile of clothes laying next to the bed.
After making love, we lay and talk. I take my fingertips along the muscles in his chest, and sometimes, I can tell it tickles him, as he giggles and twitches. I can't help but allow my fingers to trace his scars where he has had surgery.
"May I ask you a question?" I sit up on my elbow.
"Sure," he says, looking into my eyes.
"Sometimes, does your heart hurt to be with someone, or do you enjoy having your freedom?" I am thinking as I speak this is a stupid question to ask.
He says, "Do you mean, does my heart hurt because of my career?" I nod. "Well, sometimes I just feel that need to have someone to share my success with, and sometimes, I just feel satisfied sharing it with only my family." He brushes the hair from my face.
"Well, what I really wanted to ask you, is were you scared and afraid you wouldn't make it?" I ask, as I am rubbing his scar.
"Of course, I had the fears of doing it, but I knew that it was for the best. If I had it to do over, whether or not I knew the outcome, I would do it. Now, are you hungry?"
"I'm sorry for being so stupid. It's just that I have never known anyone that has had to go through this. Now I feel like an idiot." I say, as I lay back on the pillow.
He leans over me, "There's nothing to feel bad about. I want you to know you can ask me anything at anytime. That is why they call it 'getting to know each other'." He leans over and kisses me.
"I know, but I didn't want you to think I was feeling sorry for you or any thing." "I know better. I know you don't feel sorry for me. I don't feel sorry for me, and I don't expect anyone else to do it either. Just know that you can ask me about anything."
As I lean up and hug him, I ask "Have you ever been in love before?"
"I was in love, once, but that was long ago. It's time for change, for the better. Dawn, I want to be with you. You are a very sweet person. I feel whole when I am with you. I know it is fast, but that is what my heart is telling me. I don't want to lose you, so please tell me you won't leave me?" He rubs my face.
"I know it has been fast, and I haven't known you long, but I do feel the same way. I feel as if I have known you all my life. I want to be with you, I want to love you. I would never leave you, if I did, I would be leaving my heart with you." I kiss him.
We make love into the morning hours. After we finally go to sleep, it seems like I was only asleep about an hour, when Brian woke me to breakfast in bed. We spent the rest of the morning cuddling with each other while he read the morning paper.
We then got dressed and drove back to the apartment. When we arrived, Howie and Charity were eating breakfast. Although I wanted to, I couldn't tell Charity about the best night of my life, because Howie and Brian were there. Later that night, we all sat around and watched movies and ate popcorn. It was a wonderful time.
