I Will Buy You a New Life
Chapter 4

'Dear Journal-

My God, I hate everything more now then I ever have since Tampa. That guy on the bus, Brian...I don't know what to do. He's really all I can think of, but I don't want to. I hate him more and more every time he pops into my thoughts. There is no way I can possibly like him, though. I'm not ready to deal with that again. Everything was beginning to be okay again, and now this is dumped on me. All I want is to be alone, why on earth did he have to come into my life? It's so frustrating. If I don't want anyone in my life besides myself, then why does my heart twist in my chest when I think about him? Drawing doesn't even help me keep my mind off him anymore because all my hand wants to draw is him. I'm so confused. I don't know what to do.'

Angelina closed the book and shoved it back onto the coffee table. She stood up from her seat on the hard wood floor of her living room and walked into her dimly lit bedroom. She quickly changed into a pair of light blue sweat pants and a white tank top. She took a moment to look around. Nothing on the walls but a copy of a painting done by Salvador Dali- her favorite artist of all time. She loved the way his paintings usually had more then layer to them and almost always had more then one story behind them as well. She slipped under the dark blue covers of her bed and reached over to turn the light off that sat on the night stand beside her. She rolled over, facing the wall and fell quickly asleep.

-=Dream Sequence=-

"Hello Angelina." She whipped her head around, trying to find the owner of the voice. This was the third time she had heard someone say hello, but she still had no clue who was saying it. She saw herself dressed in a black knee-length skirt with a black three quarter sleeve, somewhat low cut shirt. She wore black chunky sandals and her auburn hair was brushed straight down and reached just above her shoulders. "Hello Angelina." She heard it again. The same voice as the previous 3 times, this time it sounded a bit closer though.

"Who is it?" she asked, squinting through the shadows, trying to make out a figure somewhere near her. She felt a pair of warm hands on her waist, and she instantly turned around. His arms enveloped her and she clung onto him, feeling more safe then she ever had in her life. She looked up at his smiling face and smiled in return. She felt ultimate happiness coarse through her body. She felt as if she was whole finally. As if the missing piece was standing right in front of her. She moved her hand to his cheek, running her finger down his jawbone causing his smile to grow wider as he closed his eyes and basked in the feelings that ran through his body. He opened his eyes and looked down at her to see her staring back up at him. He slowly moved his lips to his and ever so softly touched his lips to hers. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and allowed his tongue into her mouth. Their kiss intensified as they held each other closer then ever before. They broke apart and she held her eyes closed in complete bliss.

"I love you, Angelina," she heard him whisper into her ear.

"I love you too, Brian," she sighed wistfully.

-=End Dream Sequence=-

Brian smiled in his sleep, wallowing away in the wonderful dream he was having. He felt so whole and so loved it was unbelievable. His eyes slowly fluttered open and he looked at the empty half of the bed next to him. He found himself tightly hugging an extra pillow. He laughed a little at himself and placed the pillow back where it belonged. He looked around his dark bedroom, sighing. His dream had made him feel so good, so loved, so needed, but when he awoke, reality hit. He was alone. He sighed and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, resting his feet on the floor. He placed his head in his hands with his elbows propped up on his knees. Tears lightly dripped from his eyes. He felt more lonely now then he ever had before. He cursed himself under his breath and stood up, switching on the hall light as he walked out of his room and down the hall towards the kitchen to get a drink of water. He grabbed a glass, filled it with water, then began to make his way back to his bedroom. Instead, he made a detour and headed into the living room. He sighed and sank into the couch. He looked over at his puppy, Tyke sound asleep on the chair across the room. He dropped his head back against the couch and thought about everything. The more he thought about it, the more frustrated he got and eventually he fell asleep, emotionally drained.

--Next Morning--

Angelina's alarm clock screamed for her to wake up. She was so exhausted, all she wanted to do was sleep. She reluctantly opened her eyes when she felt Killer jump up onto the bed beside her and lick her face.

"Yeah, I'm awake," she said stretching out her arms. She looked at the empty half of the bed and sighed. Her dream last night confused her even more. As much as she tried to deny it, she knew she had feelings for him. Dreaming of kissing him with such passion couldn't just be written off as coincidence. She shoved those thoughts to the back of her mind and tried as hard as she could to forget about him. She swung her legs over the edge of her bed and sat there for a second, thinking about the way it felt to kiss him in her dream. It had been so real, she was surprised to find out it was merely a dream. His lips were so soft, his skin so smooth. She closed her eyes and could feel the emotions that ran through her during the dream, come back to her. Utter joy and happiness. She shook her head and opened her eyes.

'Stop living in this fantasy world, Angelina. It'll never happen,' she thought to herself as she stood up and walked towards the bathroom. She removed her pajamas, placing them into the laundry basket and turned the water in the shower on. She put her hand in the water to test the temperature, then stepped under the spray of the water. The water of the shower mixed with her tears as she began to sob softly. She wasn't quite sure the exact reason for her tears, but she just felt like she needed to let her emotions flow.

--Back w/ Brian--

Brian stepped out the shower and grabbed one of his big fluffy blue towels from the towel rack. He leaned forward to dry his hair out with it over the bathtub. He straightened himself back up and wrapped the towel around his waist tightly. He walked towards the mirror and looked at himself.

'Pathetic,' he thought looking at himself. 'You're tearing yourself apart with this stupid fantasy, Brian. Get over it.' He sighed and picked up his comb, brushing his hair forward. When he was done with all his bathroom doings, he walked into his closet and grabbed a gray Kentucky Wildcats shirt, some khaki cargo shorts and a pair of flannel boxers. He walked into his bedroom and threw his clothes on, then walked out into the living room to see Tyke come running towards him. Brian smiled and leaned down to capture the small dog in his hands. He lifted him up and carried him into the kitchen to get his some food. After Tyke was fed, Brian sat down to a bowl of Fruity Pebbles and a glass of milk. He was in the middle of eating when the phone rang.

"Hello?" he asked with his mouth full of food.

"That's disgusting, Rok," Nick said laughing. "What would you have done if I was a fan or a reporter?"

"Tell them not to call me anymore while I'm trying to eat breakfast."

"How sweet of you. Anyway, what's up?"

"Not much. I just woke up like a half an hour and took a shower, got dressed, and now I'm eating breakfast."

"Had to get ready for the bus ride this afternoon?" Nick said, making fun of Brian.

"Yeah ha ha ha, not funny. I don't think I'm gonna go today, though to tell you the truth," said Brian, shoving another spoonful of cereal into his mouth.

"What? Why not? I thought you wanted to see her," said Nick.

"I do, but I don't know. I had a dream about her last night."

"Oh yeah, what kind of a dream?" asked Nick suddenly getting very interested in this conversation.

"Not that kind of dream, Nickolas."

"Damn. Well, tell me anyway."

"We just kissed and expressed our love for each other. It wasn't anything colossal, but the emotions in the dream were insane. I've never felt like that in my life, and I doubt I ever will unless she gives me a chance. Which will never happen."

"Stop being a pessimist Brian, that's my job. You're the one who's always looking for the silver lining," Nick said. Brian chuckled lightly. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No...Wait, maybe you can! Do you think could talk to her for me?"

"What? Why me?"

"Who else is going to do it?"

"How about you?"

"She hates me. Here's what you're going to do. You'll get on the bus and talk to her...find out some stuff for me."

"What the hell, Brian? What grade are we in? Do you want me to ask her if she wants to go steady with you to? This is ridiculous!"

"Come on, please? I'll love you forever," said Brian in a little girl's voice. Nick sighed, giving in.

"Yeah fine. What do you want to know about her?"

"Umm...everything! Ok...just find out um...if she has a boyfriend. Yeah, definitely find that out. And umm...whatever else you can get out of her."

"This is so dumb."

"I know, but you're doing it so deal with it."

"This is so so dumb. You know if she finds out that you sent me to find stuff out about her, she's going to think you're a turbo-loser."

"Oh well. She won't find out unless we're together and if we're together then you could tell her anything I wouldn't care."

"Yeah, whatever. What does this girl look like anyway?"

"She's got the softest, shiniest, auburn hair and the most beautiful piercing green eyes I've ever seen."

"Short, tall, skinny, fat..."

"Well she's a little shorter then me and-"

"So she's short. If you put your arms around her, would she fit snugly?"

"Yeah."

"So, she's tiny too. Ok, I'm gonna go get ready. You do realize that you're the biggest loser ever, right?"

"Yeah, I know. Call me the second you get home."

"I feel like a teenage girl."

"Well, you look like one too, so just go."

Nick groaned. "All right, bye," he said and clicked off his phone. Brian grinned. He felt stupid for sending someone else to do what he should have had the balls to do, but how else was he going to get things done? He knew she wouldn't tell him. Brian eagerly ate the rest of his breakfast then tried to keep himself entertained for the rest of the day until Nick called.


-=Chapter Five=-
-=I Will Buy Chapter Index=-
-=Story Index=-
-=Back to BoNe RoKin' KaoS=-