I Will Buy You a New Life
Chapter 13
~*"Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you the best way they know how."- unknown*~
---6 months later---
"Nick, how do you know if you're in love with somebody?" Angelina's bluntness struck at him like a viper striking at its prey.
"Umm...well...you just..."
"...know," she finished for him. He nodded, sitting down on the swing next to her. "That's what everyone has been telling me, but I don't KNOW! I have no idea! I've never been in love so I don't know what I'm looking for."
"Where is this coming from?" asked Nick, just as bluntly as she had been previously. Angelina paused and looked at him, then stood up and walked towards a bench. Nick looked at her curiously and followed. She placed her head in her hands with her elbows propped up on her knees. Nick placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, not quite sure of what else he should do. "Lena, where is this coming from?" Angelina cracked a slight smile hearing him call her by his nickname for her. A few months ago they'd decided that since Brian calls her Angel, Nick would call her by the second half of her name, Lena. And since everyone calls Nick Nick, she'd call him by the second half of his name, Olas.
"Brian..."
"What about him sweetie?"
"...He told me he loves me," she said, a few tears seeping from her eyes as she remembered the day.
--Flashback--
"Baby, come here, I have to show you something," said Brian, taking both of Angelina's hands in his and leading her out the back door of his house.
"How exactly do you plan on showing me something when I can't see anything?!" she asked, referring to the blindfold he'd placed over her eyes just minutes before. He laughed at her comment and continued to lead her to their destination.
"Ready?" he asked. She nodded her head vigorously. He pulled the bandana off her eyes and she gasped, covering her mouth with her hands. Before her held the most beautiful sight she'd ever laid her eyes on. He'd covered his entire lawn with yellow rose petals, placed yellow roses on the lawn chairs, table, and anything else that had a smooth surface. Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked over the lawn. Yellow roses, her favorite. They represented friendship, and since she'd met Brian she realized that friendship was the most important thing in life. Brian wrapped his arms around her from behind and smiled at the overwhelmingly happy look on her face.
"This must have taken you forever, Brian," she said, still drinking in the view. Brian grinned and hugged her closer to his body.
"I have all the time in the world for you, my baby." Although it seemed impossible, she grinned wider at his words. "There's something I have to tell you, Angel," he said turning her around in his arms. "I know it's something that maybe you weren't aware of or maybe you're not sure about, but I feel it and I know that whether you realize it or not, you feel it too." He looked down at the ground, trying his hardest to suppress his tears. He'd cried like a baby when he told his ex-girlfriend Samantha that he loved her, and even harder when he told Leighanne. Angelina placed her hand on his cheek, wanting to know what was wrong.
"Sweetheart what is it? What's wrong?" she asked as he looked up at her with his tear stricken face.
"I love you," he said smiling. "Those words don't describe how deeply I feel for you," he said, placing her trembling hand over his heart. She didn't know what to do or say. She knew he expected her to say those words in return, but the truth was she didn't know if she was in love with him. She knew she loved him, but she wasn't sure if she was in love with him. She was shocked- almost terrified of his words. When he removed her blindfold, the thought of him professing his love to her never crossed her mind. Brian was a romantic kind of guy; he was always doing sweet things for her. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have--"
"No," said Angelina, cutting him off. "It took a lot of courage to say what you just said. I'm just...I don't know what love is, Brian. I thought I did, but judging by what happened to me, I was obviously sadly mistaken. I mean, I know I love you, but I love Nick, Kevin, AJ, and Howie too. I just...I'm thrilled that you're the one who said those words to me, and I know you meant them and I know you'd never do anything to hurt me but--"
"It's ok, Angel, you don't have to explain it to me," he said sadly, pulling away from her.
"Brian, please, you have to understand."
"I do...it just sucks," he said, sitting down on a lawn chair. "I should have waited. I knew I should have waited. I'm so stupid," he said, placing his head in his hands.
"Stop it! Don't blame yourself for anything, Brian! It's not your fault that I don't know what love is."
"I thought I'd proven to you what love is," he mumbled, staring at the grass and rose petals on the ground by his feet. He stood up and looked at her. "I'm gonna go to bed, you coming?" he asked solemnly. Angelina looked at him sadly. She wanted so badly to take him in her arms and tell him she loved him, but she just didn't know if it was right. She wanted to be sure.
"I'll be up in a few minutes," she said sitting down where he had just been. He simply nodded and walked back towards the house. She sighed and rested her head in her hands as her shoulders shook, tears streaming down her face.
--End Flashback--
"Wow," said Nick, leaning his back against the back of the bench. "So, have you talked to him since then?" Angelina shook her head, tears at the corners of her eyes.
"That was almost two weeks ago, Nick. I think he must hate me," she said, letting her eyes fall to the ground. Nick shook his head.
"Lena, if there's one thing I know about Brian, it's that no matter what, he could never ever hate you in a million years."
"I would hate me if I were him. God dammit Nick, why do I have to be so fucking screwed up? I know I feel something for him, but shit at this stage in my life, I have feelings for anyone who holds open a door for me or smiles at me. I thought he understood all of this," she said sobbing. "I thought he knew."
"He does understand, he's just having a hard time with it right now. I mean, can you imagine telling Brian you love him and him saying he didn't love you back? It takes some big balls to tell someone you're in love with them and those aren't words that Brian just throws around. When he says something like that to someone, he's sincere about it; he doesn't fuck with people's emotions. Brian's the best guy I've ever met, and I know he understands a hell of a lot more then I ever will. When he told you he loves you, that was his soul speaking, that was his whole world he was giving to you, and he wasn't expecting a reaction like that from you. My advice? Just let him cool off for as long as he needs. He'll be back, I know he will. He's been asking me when he should tell you for about the past month and now that he finally has, and he didn't get the response he wanted, he's probably pretty depressed, but he'll come around. Believe me, I know Brian better then I know myself." Angelina nodded. She prayed everything would work out between them. She didn't know what she'd do if she lost Brian. He was her backbone, her life support.
"How did you know you were in love with Jill?" Nick thought about it for a minute.
"One day we were sitting in my living room talking about God knows what and it just kind of hit me. I was just watching her talk, and I knew. I told her right then. I'm not as romantic as Brian is. I'm more of the spontaneous type, so the second I found out, I knew I had to tell her. I cut her off mid-sentence and told her right then. I guess she'd known for a while, because she instantly said she loved me too."
"Yeah, but how did you know? I mean, what emotions went through you?"
"I just...Lena, I really don't know how to explain it. I just felt like suddenly the whole world made sense, ya know. That finally, after 20 years, the last piece to the jigsaw puzzle was found."
"I don't know if I've ever felt like that."
"Believe me, if you have, you'd know. It's not a feeling that you can just write off as one of those little feelings in the pit of your stomach or something like that. You'll know when it hits you." Angelina nodded. She prayed she'd feel like that soon. She couldn't bear being away from Brian much longer. He was like her oxygen tank. Suddenly she stood up and walked briskly to her car. "Where are you going?" he yelled to her.
"To talk to Kevin," she yelled back. Nick nodded, smiling. "Olas, I drove, smart guy. How do you plan on getting home if you don't get your lazy ass in the car?" she asked laughing. Nick laughed and walked towards the car.
"I can't believe Brian bought you a car that kicks this much ass. The best thing he ever bought me was like a necklace," he said marveling at her brand spankin new 2001 black Acura CL.
"It's not my car, babe, it's Brian's."
"Yeah, but he let's you drive it all the damn time. Let's face it, it's your car. He's got his Beemers, he doesn't need this one too."
"Yeah, okay Nick. You've got what? Six cars now?" she said laughing.
"That's different! He's got like four of the same damn car! At least I have some variety in my car choices."
"You don't even drive the coolest one."
"The Prowler is like my child. If something happened to it, I don't know what I'd do."
"So, instead of cruisin in it, you choose to let it sit in your garage and get all dusty? Yeah, I see the logic, Olas."
"I drive it every weekend!"
"Yeah, to get the dust off of it."
"Leave me alone and drive!" he said pouting. She laughed and shook her head. She and Nick had grown even closer over the past few months. She told him things she couldn't tell Brian and in return, he told her things that he couldn't tell Jill. Brian was her best friend, but Nick was pretty damn close. She dropped Nick off at his house, and quickly joined the traffic on I-4 to get to Kevin's house. She knew going to that area was like a death wish, but she had to talk to Kevin, whether Brian was there or not. Out of all the guys, Kevin was the easiest to talk to about serious things. Nick wanted to play; AJ's attention span was shorter then his hair length; Howie liked to pretend that there's nothing wrong with the world; and Brian...well she obviously couldn't talk to Brian about this one. She knew she could get some good information out of Kevin, though. She pulled into his driveway, noting that there were no other cars in the driveway. She got out of her car and walked up to the door. After ringing the bell, Kristin came to the door.
"Hey Angelina! Come on in!" she said, moving aside to let her by.
"Hi Kristin, is Kev around?" Angelina asked, removing her jacket and setting it, along with her keys and purse, on a chair near the door.
"Yeah, I think he's in the den watching football. If not, try the gym." Angelina thanked her and began to walk towards the hallway in search of Kevin. "Oh hey, Angelina." She paused and turned around. "How are you doing? Kev told me what happened."
"I'm...well I'm alive so I've got one thing going for me today," she said smiling. Kristin laughed.
"You sound like Brian!" she said shaking her head. Angelina laughed as well and continued her search for Kevin. She walked into the den to see him sprawled out on the couch watching football as Kristin had predicted.
"Hey Kev," said Angelina, flopping down on the couch next to him. Kevin slowly tore his eyes away from the game and looked at her.
"Whoa! Wasn't expecting to see you," he said, sitting up slightly. "What's up kid?" he asked, running his hand through his hair.
"Not much," she sighed. "Who's winning?" she asked, looking over at the TV.
"The Tampa Bay Buccaneers of course!" he grinned.
"Wow, I was just hanging out with Nick and he didn't say a damn thing about the game...he probably secretly had a radio in his pocket or something," she said smiling. Kevin laughed and nodded.
"Most likely. So what brings you by?"
"Have you talked to Brian lately?" Kevin nodded and looked back at the TV. He knew how much pain his cousin was in, and it hurt him to know that even though he loved Angelina like part of his family, he still couldn't get past the fact that she was the cause of Brian's pain.
"I'm sorry about what happened," he said after a few moments of silence. He wasn't quite sure of what else he should say.
"Don't be sorry. I was just wondering what he said," she said kicking off her shoes and pulling her legs up beneath her.
"He said he's been stupid," said Brian, walking through the doorway. "He said he made the biggest mistake of his life and that he prays someday you can forgive him for being such an asshole." Angelina nearly jumped off the couch and ran out to her car, but she was too in shock to move. Kevin shut the TV off and left the room, patting Brian on the shoulder as he left. That was Kevin's way of letting him know that he'd done the right thing. Brian moved across the room and sat down next to a shocked yet grateful looking Angelina. "Do you think you can forgive me?" he asked. Angelina simply stared at him with tears glistening in the corners of her eyes.
"I'm sorry, Brian. I'm so sorry," she said as she broke down crying. Brian wrapped his arms around her small body as her body heaved and she cried into his chest.
"You don't have to be sorry. I'm the one who fucked up. It shouldn't have taken me so long to realize that I was being a dick. I'm sorry," he replied, rocking her back and forth in his arms.
"I wish I could say I'm in love with you, but I don't know...I have no idea what love is, and I don't want to just say it for the sake of having something to say...You deserve more then that."
"You don't have to explain, baby. I understand."
"Do you?" she asked, looking up at him, her piercing green eyes pleading with him to understand. Brian nodded. "I wish I wouldn't have thrown the word around so loosely before. I know now that love goes a lot deeper then I've ever been."
"Angel, I told you that I loved you before I realized I was in love with you. There are three kinds of love. The first kind is how someone loves their family or their siblings; the second is the way you love Nick or me; and the third is how I love you. So you can love someone without being in love with someone."
"This whole love thing is extremely confusing!" she said, leaning her head on his shoulder. He nodded and kissed the top of her head, smoothing her hair out.
"You'll get the hang of it. I didn't understand all of that until Kevin explained it to me a few days ago. You know, I don't give him enough credit...he's a really smart guy."
"I heard that!" said Kevin coming in the room. The three of them laughed.
"I said nothing!" said Brian, smiling.
"Too late, bud, I heard it. You love me and you know it," he said, tossing the TV remote on the coffee table. "I uh...didn't mean to take that with me," he grinned.
"What were you just saying about Kevin being smart?" asked Angelina laughing.
"You little!" said Kevin, pretending like he was about to jump on top of her. "I'll spare your life this one time...but next time you won't be getting off that easy." She smiled and stuck her tongue out at him. He shook his head as he left the room.
"So, do you want to come back to my place? I'll cook dinner," said Brian, smiling. Angelina shook her head. "What? Why not?" he asked, pouting.
"I'm not in the mood for Macaroni and Cheese. I'll cook dinner."
"Hey! I can cook some mean Create-A-Meal. I'm serious dude! No one else's compares to mine."
“I want real food,” she said grinning.
“Alright, alright, I’ll take you out,” he said surrendering. She smiled and grabbed his hand, leading him out of Kevin and Kristin’s house, saying their farewell’s as they passed the couple.
-=Chapter 14=-
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-=Story Index=-
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