I Will Buy You a New Life
Chapter 11
~*"Can you help me I'm bent/I'm so scared that I'll never/Get put back together/Yeah, you're breaking me in/And this is how we will live/With you and me bent"- Matchbox 20*~
--Dinner--
"Keep your eyes closed!" said Angelina as she steered Brian from his seat on her couch to the dining room. "I swear Brian, if I find out you're peaking, I'll kill you," she said moving around to make sure his eyes were shut tightly.
"They're closed, I promise!" he said smiling.
"They'd better be," she said pulling out his chair and maneuvered him so he could sit down. "All right, sit...but don't open your eyes yet," she said moving away from him. She walked around the other side of the table and took her seat. "Okay, you can open them." Brian opened his eyes and looked around him. It was amazing. Flowers and candles adorned the table and the baker's rack that was up against the far wall. The food set out on the table made his mouth water. She'd grilled two steaks, made mashed potatoes, Caesar salad, and green beans. He looked at her and smiled.
"This looks wonderful. I can't believe you went through all of this for lil ole me," he grinned.
"I used to help my Mom with dinner every night, so I've learned how to cook me some food," she said smiling.
"This must have taken you forever."
"Yeah, but it'll be worth it, I hope." Casual conversation continued throughout the entire meal. Brian ate every morsel he possibly could and she laughed at him for being such a pig. There wasn't a beat of silence throughout the entire dinner. When it was over, the two of them washed the dishes together, then headed into the living room to relax.
"You should come to Windermere sometime and see my house," he said out of nowhere as they watched some random sitcom. She looked over at him sitting next to her and smiled.
"That would be nice. I'd really like to see it."
"Really?" he asked, sitting up and looking at her. She smiled and nodded. "That would be great. We could go out to dinner and stuff...maybe even go to Disney World."
"You know, I've never been there." Brian's eyes lit up. This would be the perfect opportunity for the two of them to spend some fun time together.
"You haven't? You've got to be kidding me!" he said in disbelief. She shook her head.
"Nope. When I was little, we didn't leave our little town very often...and even if we did, the kids weren't allowed to go. Especially an hour and a half away."
"Well then looks like we're gonna have to head on over to Disney sometime. When's the next time you're off?" His insides were jumping for joy. Finally, his chance had come.
"Tomorrow actually. I never work Saturdays or Sundays."
"Do you want to go tomorrow? Or is it too last minute? I mean, we can plan it for another weekend if you want to. But if--"
"Brian, tomorrow's fine," she said grabbing his arm to stop him from rambling on. She smiled at him when she saw the gleam in his eyes. "I'd love to go to Disney World with you tomorrow."
"Hey, why don't we make a whole day of it? You could either stay at my house tonight...in the guest room of course, or I could just pick you up tomorrow and I could see if Nick, Kevin, or AJ want to come along so you can meet everyone. I would ask Howie, but he's over on the other coast right now. Then tomorrow night I'll take you to the best damn restaurant at Disney. What do you say?" he asked. He felt like he was 10 years old again...overly excited about Disney World. However, this time he wasn't really enthused about the Tea Cup ride or meeting Mickey Mouse...he had other things on his mind.
"That sounds good to me. But can I make just one alteration?" Brian nodded. "Do you mind if your friends don't come with us? It's not that I don't want to meet them, because I do...it's just that...I don't know."
"Yeah, sure that's cool. You're not ready to meet them yet?" he asked maneuvering so he was facing her on the couch. "Because if that's it, it's okay. They can wait."
"No, I'm ready to meet them. In fact, I'm really excited about it, but I don't know. I've never been there, and I want it to be just you and I," she said looking down at her hands and blushing. Brian smiled. What he wanted to do was jump up and run laps around the world, but he felt she may change her mind if he did that, so he stayed in his seat.
"Well, maybe they can just meet us for dinner tomorrow night or something." Angelina nodded, still not looking up. She couldn't believe what had just come out of her mouth. She hadn't meant for it to come out, but somehow it slipped. "Hey," he said trying to catch eyes with her. He finally did and continued, "Don't be embarrassed. I was just worried you wouldn't want to be alone with me for that long, so I was giving you an out." There was a long silence between the two which eventually made their attention go back to the television...just in time to see the Backstreet Boys Burger King commercial. Brian wanted to hide under the rug he was so embarrassed.
"Holy shit, you're on a Burger King commercial?" she asked, looking over at him, her mouth slightly ajar. Brian was mortified. He wished he were a chameleon so he could blend in with the couch.
"Yeah," he mumbled. It was bad enough seeing himself look like a retard on national TV, let alone knowing Angelina had seen it.
"Hey, it was cute. You should be proud of it," she said, noticing his discomfort. "So, are you going to invite your friends to dinner tomorrow?" she asked, changing the subject.
"Yeah. I mean, if you still wanna meet them."
"After that," she said gesturing to the TV, "I definitely want to meet them," she grinned. "And I want a Brian action figure." Brian smiled and rolled his eyes.
"You're going to make fun of me forever now, aren't you?" he asked.
"No, not forever. By the way, 'We don't do commercials,'" she quoted him. Brian shook his head laughing.
"Stop makin fun of me! It wasn't my idea, honest!"
"Uh huh, sure," she said sarcastically.
"ANYWAY," he grinned. "Are you coming home with me tonight, or do you want me to pick you up in the morning? I will if you want me to. Whatever you want."
"No, I'll just go with you tonight." Brian's jaw dropped...or at least it wanted to. He hadn't expected her to want to stay the night at his house. He knew nothing was going to happen, but still...how did she know that? "I trust you, Brian...I told you that before. I know you'd never pressure me into anything I wasn't comfortable with. Besides, that would be ridiculous if you had to drive home tonight, then come back in the morning and then drive all the way back. That's completely insane."
"All right, if you're sure."
"I'm positive," she said standing up. "I'm gonna go grab some stuff so we can get going."
"Okay. Do you mind if I use you phone to make some arrangements with the guys for tomorrow?"
"No, not at all. Feel free," she said, heading down the hallway and towards her bedroom. About a half an hour later they were in Brian's car headed to his house. Her palms were sweating the entire ride there...she was so nervous, yet so excited at the same time. Brian felt like he might have to pull over and throw up any second thanks to his own excitement. He couldn't believe how perfect everything was working out...it seemed so surreal to him. Too good to be true almost. He thought about the last time he took Leighanne there. It was her favorite place in Florida, so for one of her birthdays he surprised her by taking her there...it was the happiest day of his life.
--Flashback--
"You got them closed?" he asked, placing his hand over her eyes as he lead her through the crowds.
"Where are you taking me?" she asked, giggling.
"You'll soon find out," he said pushing past a group of foreigners and making his way to the best spot in the park to see the fireworks that were set off behind the Magic Kingdom. It was the first place he'd professed his love to her and he couldn't think of a better place to ask her the biggest question of his life. He passed the statue of Walt Disney and Mickey Mouse holding hands, and made his way to the front of the crowd. He found the perfect spot...right at the railing that separated the walkway from the mot around the castle. He glanced down at his watch. Ten minutes before the fireworks would be set off. "Ready?" he whispered in Leighanne's ear. She nodded her head, smiling widely and he removed his hand from her eyes.
"Oh my God!" she gasped, looking up at the enormous castle in front of them. It had a purple glow to it, signaling the fireworks show was to start soon. She wrapped her arms tightly around her boyfriend of three years, and hugged him with all she had.
"Happy Birthday, baby," he said into her ear as she embraced him. She pulled out of his arms and smiled at him, her eyes watery. The fireworks began and she turned to watch. Brian wrapped his arms around her from behind as the shared the most magical moment of the Disney World experience. He slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out the black velvet ring box he'd been carrying around with him for the past week. He popped it open and brought his arm back in front of her so she could see the ring. She gasped when she saw it and turned around to face him. Brian knelt down on his knee and took her hand in his. "Will you marry me?" he asked, his eyes beginning to get misty. The people around them watched with grins on their faces as the scene played out. Leighanne, unable to find her voice simply nodded. Brian smiled widely, slipped the ring on her finger and jumped up and pressed his lips to hers. Cheers erupted around them as they kissed.
--End Flashback--
Brian smiled at the memory. That was by far the best day of his life. It hurt him to know that came later, but he tried not to think about it. He didn't want to start crying again. The more he tried to push his emotions aside, however, the more they wanted to spill out. He tried so hard to swallow back his tears, but it was no use. A few drops of water slipped from his eyes and down his cheeks. Angelina looked over at him and noticed his tears.
"Brian, what's wrong?" she asked, watching him frantically wipe his tears away. He'd forgotten she was in the car with him. He shook his head, knowing he wouldn't be able to say it without breaking down and crying hysterically. And even if he could, he wouldn't be able to find his voice. Angelina reached up and wiped away a few tears that remained on his cheeks. "Don't cry. Whatever you're thinking about is going to be okay, I promise." Brian glanced over at her as he pulled off I-4 (The interstate that connects almost all of the Orlando area.) and into a rest area. He stopped the car, and rested his head on the steering wheel. "Do you want me to drive?" she asked, placing her hand on his shoulder. He shook his head.
"No, I'll be okay. I just need to regain control of myself," he said quietly. Angelina didn't quite know what to do. She rubbed her nails over his back, trying to help him calm back down. After a few minutes he sat up and smiled at her.
"Are you okay?" she asked, pushing his hair back off his forehead. He nodded.
"Yeah, I'm fine now." He reached to put the car in drive, but stopped and looked over at her. "Thank you for being here. I would have sat alone and cried all night if it hadn't been for you." She smiled warmly at him.
"No problem Brian. That's what friends are for." He put the car in drive and sped out of the rest area and back onto the interstate. "So, if you don't mind me asking, what brought that on?" she asked looking over at him. He stared at the road and shrugged his shoulders.
"I just started thinking about Leighanne. No big deal. I'm okay now."
"It is a big deal to you, Brian. You shouldn't suppress your emotions, it just makes it worse when they do surface. I learned that in my class."
"I know I shouldn't, but that's just how I deal with things. I just try to pretend they didn't happen."
"But they did and if you don't deal with that fact, you're never going to get over it," she said. She hoped that didn't come out as rudely has she thought it had, but she was worried about him. She knew what it was like to keep things bottled up forever and she didn't want him to go through has much self-inflicted pain as she had. She didn't want him to go through any kind of pain.
"Sometimes I feel like that's the only way I can deal with things. I mean, I don't have a break from life ever. I can't take two or three weeks to just deal with things, because whenever I leave my house or whenever I get in my car it's like I'm going to work. I can't walk around sad, so I have to just push my emotions aside and put on a smile for magazines and fans and interviews and stuff. Do you have any idea how hard it was to see all the magazine covers in the stores about what happened at my wedding? It was everywhere. There's no place to get away from everything for me because wherever I go, it follows me," he paused and sighed. "It's so damn frustrating sometimes."
"Sweetie, I understand what you're saying. Believe it or not, I do. I think what you need, though, isn't time to yourself. I think you need to just talk it out. I know for a fact that you hide these emotions from Nick and the rest of your friends. Nick asks me if you're really as 'okay' as you claim to be. I tell him that you are, just so you're not put in an awkward position, but sweetie, you need to talk to someone. If you don't think you can talk to Nick or one of your other friends, you can always talk to me...and if you don't think you can talk to me, there's always your family...or you could talk to someone who specializes in this sort of thing. Whatever you decide to do, I'll be here for you through everything. I know what it's like to love someone and for them to just rip your heart out of your chest. I understand you."
"I..." Angelina shook her head.
"You don't have to say anything, Brian. Just know that I'm here for you whenever you need me, and if you don't need me, I'll still be here because I need you," she said leaning her head on the window and looking outside. Brian took her hand in his and gave it a tight squeeze.
"Thank you." That's all that needed to be said between the two to know what he meant. He was willing to let her be his shoulder to cry on. Previously he'd been a little weary about talking to her since she was his next love interest, but now he knew in order for the two of them to get anywhere, they had to conquer their pasts...and they needed to do it together. "This is it!" he exclaimed, dropping her hand and reaching for the volume button. He turned it up and looked over at Angelina.
"This is my favorite song," she said smiling.
"Are you serious? The day after we watched 'Sleepless in Seattle,' I was sitting at home and decided to play my guitar, so I started playing and this is the song I was playing. I didn't have a damn clue what song it was. I don't know if I've ever even heard this song."
"That's really strange. Everclear's my favorite band. This song, "I Will Buy You a New Life" is my ultimate favorite song ever."
"That is very strange," he said, listening to the words.
"Here is the money that I owe you
Yeah so you can pay the bills
I will give you more
when I get paid again
I hate those people who love to tell you
money is the root of all that kills
They have never been poor
They have never had the joy
of a welfare Christmas
I know we will never look back
You say you wake up crying
Yes and you don't know why
You get up and you go lay down
inside my baby's room
I guess I'm doing OK
I moved in with the strangest guy
Can you believe
he actually thinks
that I am really alive
Chorus:
I will buy you a garden
Where your flowers can bloom
I will buy you a new car
Perfect shiny and new
I will buy you that big house
way up in the west hills
I will buy you a new life
Yes I will
I know all about that other guy
The handsome man with athletic thighs
I know all about the time before
With that obsessive little rich boy
They might make you think you're happy
Yeah maybe for a minute or two
They can't make you laugh
No they can't make you feel
the way that I do"
The literal meaning of the song had nothing to do with the two of them, but the way they interpreted made perfect sense. To them, it meant things would be better someday, and someday they'd be past all the bullshit they were dealing with now. Someday, things would be better. Someday, they'd have a new life.
Chapter 12 coming soon
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