Welcome to HELL!
We rated the girlfriends on a scale of 1-5 (5 being, whoa you don't suck at all. 1 being, move the fuck out of his house before I kill you, hoe.)
Mandy
We gave Mandy a negitive 65 million. No, we've never met her, but stories we've heard from some pretty reliable (well..as far as we know) sources has led us to believe that she sucks majorly. I mean, come on Nick, we know you're a little slow but PLEASE! Whipped much there Nicky? Yo Mandy, you need to move out of the frickin country not just his house...Why don't you head back down to your hometown in hell? Tell your boy Satan I said what's up. Mandy has recieved our official "You are the most loserish person in the universe" award, and our "Just get the hell away from Nick before you knock his last brain cell out of his head" award. Whoa, she's cleaning up at the "People we hate" award show man. If there was ever a person that just used their boyfriend to become famous (or try at least...I heard she sucks majorly...not that it's a big surprise) then she is it.
Amanda
We gave Amanda a 2. Ok, so she doesn't suck as much as Mandy does, but that doesn't mean she doesn't suck at all...believe me she sucks a lot. AJ, please sweetie give me a frickin break! Would you please open your eyes and look at her? She looks like Monica Lefreakingwinsky for the love of God. Could she possibly cake some more make-up on her? And that hair...let's see how high we can tease it, shall we? Of course, we've heard somethings about her too...which are quite humorous (Cheating on AJ? Girl are you smoking rocks honey?). She gets the "I really wish I could look like barbie" award. Too bad she doesn't cut it...better luck next year.
Leighanne
Yeah, they're married...let's move on...
Claudia
We gave Claudia a 5! Can you believe it? A 5!!! I didn't think that was at all possible! Although she does somewhat resemble a man (thanks Jillian!) she is very cute in that "I'm dating Howie so I have to be" sort of way. She seems like she'd be overly sweet like our good pal Howard Dwaine. I'm proud of him, man...it's about time he was gettin some. And besides all that, we saw her at the concert and she wasn't like in the 1st row and she wasn't dressed like a slut bag and she looked when we screamed her name and then looked the other way (hehe...that wasn't us I swear). We give her the "Awwww...you and Howie are the cutest people alive" award. Standing ovation for Ms. Claudia, everyone!
Kristen
WOO WOO Go Kevin!!! Finally!!! It's about time, don't ya think? She's pretty...not really what I expected for the Kevster but whatever. We give her a 4 (we couldn't have TWO girlfriends with perfect scores, now could we? Didn't think so.) She looks like she's 12 in the pics from the Cher tour but ya know...Kev's surrounded by 12 year olds contantly so I'm sure he doesn't mind. We don't really know anything about her because all Kevin ever says is "we sometimes get lonely" So what are ya tellin us Kev? Are you confirming our "Lonely Nights on the Tour Bus" question? Kristen gets the "I really should stop with this Cher tour business and hook up with the Backstreet tour" award, the "Believe it or not, I am Kevin's wife and I am older then 12 years old (it's hard to believe, I know)" award. Good job, Kristen...smack him around a little, maybe he'll talk faster.
That's how we feel. We don't know where this came from, so if it's from your site, let us know and we'll hook you up with a link and some credit.
~*Alright, again before people start sending us hate mail, we don't REALLY hate these people...ya can't really hate someone you don't know, right? Right. It's called "You have what I want and I'm INSANELY JEALOUS!" Well at least in Leighanne's case. She probably is really nice and she obviously is doing something right, I mean Brian's not complaining, right? As for Mandy, well she really is the devil so we're just mad at Nick for being such a moron. Amanda, Kristen, and Claudia, well...we don't really know anything about any of them so we really shouldn't be so harsh but come on...anyone that cheats on AJ deserves a swift kick in the pants, don't you agree?*~
I totally agree...you kick so much ass...ok, I lied.
