As the PPV preview ends and the legal crap disappears, the screen is all black. Slowly, something strange comes into view, some sort of grid... maybe, a cage. The view turns in time to see the door close, and lock. The door frame burst into flames, and the walls follow quickly. The view charges at the door, and in a bright flash of red pyros, the arena appears, the camera looking down from the ceiling.

Dave Jackson: Welcome to the MCI CENTER in WASHINGTON D.C. where the EWA is about to heat up!

Kevin Fisher: You must be talking about the Hell’s gate match. All the walls, the ceiling, the door, all on fire! I can’t wait to see someone get disfigured.

Dave Jackson: It isn’t just that, there’s two other cage matches on the card, as well as a hell of a tag team match coming up.

Kevin Fisher: It’s this hardcore heaven’s cellar match that has me interested. We’re sure to see some blood there.

Dave Jackson: But before we can get to that action, we’ve got a few more matches to take care of.

The lights around the arena dim as "Are You Ready?" By Creed hits the loud speakers, and the music starts....

[Hey, Mr. Seeker Hold on to this advice
If you keep seeking you will find
Don't want to follow
Down roads been walked before
It's so hard to find unopened doors
Are you ready? Are you ready?
Hey, Mr. Hero Walking a thin, fine line
under the microscope of life
Remember your roots, my friend
they're right down below
'Cause heroes come and heroes go]

Summer comes out on the ramp and the crowd has mixed chants…a sign in the crowd can be seen that says “SASSY is a SELL OUT” and another that reads…”SASSY I’ll be Your BEAST.”

[Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one
Count down to the change in life that's soon to come
Your life has just begun….ARE YOU READY?…ARE YOU READY….FOR US TO COME???]

With those words, the music changes to an unidentifiable techno song. The beat plays fast and furious for a few seconds, and then it comes to a crescendo. Christian Hawke walks from behind Sassy, and takes his place beside her. The pair glance around at the ring area for a few seconds, watching for a sneak attack. Finally, they are both satisfied, and make their way down the ramp.

Dave Jackson: Hawke and Kensington stepping into the ring.

Kevin Fisher: And what wonderfully sexy leather Sassy’s wearing today.

Dave Jackson: You should keep your eyes toward the stage.

Kevin Fisher: Wait, there’s someone in the crowd.

Dave Jackson: There are a lot of people in the crowd.

Kevin Fisher: It’s Hellraiser Harrison! Why are you here?

Harrison makes his way to the front row near the announcer’s table.

Harrison: I might just be here to team with Froste....

The lights go out, stopping Kevin from checking out Sassy, and "Violence Fetish" by Disturbed echos around the Arena. Blue lights flicker and flash, and soon Damienne Froste appears at the top of the staging. She's wearing black cargo pants, a tight black shirt that has "WOLFGANG SUCKS" on it, and her favorite black combat boots. She raises her hands, and the crowd begins to boo and jeer at her relentlessly. She just shrugs them off whole-heartedly. She grabs a microphone for a near by stage hand and raises it to her lips.

Froste: Now. Sassy and Christian Hawke think that they can beat me. And they think that I am stupid enough to go in this match alone. When have ANY of you people thought of me as dumb? (The crowd jeers and boos) I didn't think so. I've heard so many rumors as to who my partner is exactly. From Hellraiser...to Kirk Visconty...to Pyretta Blaze. And I'm sorry, but none of those people are who I've joined tonight.. in this one time only deal. Introducing my partner...his entrance will speak for itself.

”Stinkfist (Skinny Puppy Remix)" by Tool starts to clang over the PA system as the lights flicker with the beat. White lasers begin to dance about the arena as the song slowly begins to pick up. Then, when the song does, black pyros erupt on the stage. Cyan strobe lights comb the crowd, before focusing on Lupin who comes down to the ring slowly and methodically, with Damienne Froste right behind. Lupin vaults himself to the middle turnbuckle and sticks his arms out in mock crucifixion while snapping his head back. Tendrils of braided hair fly back as he stares into the sea of bodies before back flipping into the ring.

Kevin Fisher: Oh My GOD it's LUPIN!!

Dave Jackson: How in the HELL did Froste pull this one off? ...Summer Kensington and Christian Hawke are definitely going to have their hands full with these two...

Kevin Fisher: I’d like to have my hands full... of Sassy!

Dave Jackson: Do you think that’s funny?

Sassy and Froste decide that they’ll be the first in the ring. Slowly they move from their corners, and meet in the middle of the ring. For a second, nothing happens except the cheering of the crowd, and then, Sassy lunges at Froste, landing a vicious gut punch before both fall to the ground. They roll on the floor for a while, trading slaps, scratches, and punches until Froste comes out on top. She stands, yanking Sassy to her feet, and executes a bulldog. Without a pause, she smoothly picks Sassy up again, and gives her a tornado DDT.

Dave Jackson: Well, it’s easy to see who the dominant female in this relationship is.

Kevin Fisher: Either of them could dominate me any time.

Dave Jackson: Can’t you watch the match for a few seconds with out bringing up some kind of innuendo?

Kevin Fisher: Innuendo?

Inside the ring Sassy nails the rolling thunder clothesline sending Froste crashing to the mat. As Sassy spring back to her feet she jumps in air and points a finger at Froste and mouths the words "In your face Bitch." The crowd cheers, and she responds by jumping up and down real quick before moving to tag.

Kevin Fisher: WooHoo! Come over here after the match and do that again.

Dave Jackson: Looks like Christian Hawke is after Froste now.

Christian grabs Froste, by the hair, yanking her to her feet. He throws her over to Lupin, and mouths the words “Get your man in here bitch!” Lupin tags in, and vaults the ropes, running straight at Christian. Not prepared for such a quick attack, Christian goes down to a textbook clothesline.

Dave Jackson: It doesn’t look like he’s going to stay down.

Kevin Fisher: He will, trust me.

Just as Christian stands, Lupin delivers a barrage off stiff kicks to Christian's ribs and face that back him into a corner before Lupin delivers a huge Shotei to Christian's solar plexus. Christian falls back into the corner and bounces out into a savate kick by Lupin that doubles him over. Lupin rolls right from the savate kick into a huge Destiny Hammer that plasters Christian's face into the mat.

Dave Jackson: A perfect jumping knee drop right to the back of Christian’s head.

Kevin Fisher: Told you he wouldn’t be up for long. Lupin is simply unstoppable.

Lupin turns to Sassy and bares his teeth. She climbs in, and the ref runs over to stop her. For the few seconds Lupin was looking away, Christian has gained back some of his senses. A snap shot between Lupin’s legs causes Lupin to double over in pain. Christian grabs Lupin’s waist, and pulls him into the turn buckle, smashing his head against the pole. Christian kicks Lupin back to the mat, and stands.

Dave Jackson: Christian’s still got some fight in him, enough to make it to the ropes anyway.

Kevin Fisher: He’s tagging in Sassy? She’ll be killed, ripped in two by Lupin! What a waste of such a gorgeous body.

Dave Jackson: What’s she doing? She’s going for a submission hold on Lupin. It’s the Jaws of Steele! Can you believe it? Sassy has put Lupin in the “Jaws of Steele!”

Kevin Fisher: She stole that move from Beast…How could she?

Lupin makes it to the ropes in a few seconds and Sassy hops up, going back to Christian for the tag. Lupin stands, and says something to Sassy’s back that halts her in her tracks. She turns back to Lupin, an beckons him to attack.

Dave Jackson: Now she really is crazy.

Lupin smiles and walks toward her, taking his time. Suddenly, about half of the way to her, he dashes at her, a spear looking eminent. But Sassy ducks, catching Lupin with a drop-down toe hold. As his face hits the mat, Sassy stands, and lays a nice leg drop across the back of his neck.

Dave Jackson: That was a helluva hit, but Lupin isn’t staying down for long.

Kevin Fisher: You can’t keep this guy down, he get’s knocked down, but he gets up again.... (Kevin starts humming to the tune.)

Dave Jackson: There is a match to watch here.

Sassy delivers a few kicks to the kidneys, and then grabs Lupin’s arm going for an arm wrench. It’s pretty clear that Lupin is still a bit too strong to let that happen, so Sassy whips him into his own corner. Froste blind-tags and climbs over the ropes. After a few words from the Ref, he climbs outside the ring.

 Dave Jackson: Sassy egging Froste on....

Kevin Fisher: I’d like to get my hands on those eggs.

Dave Jackson: You did it again!

Kevin Fisher: Did what?

Froste runs over at Sassy, a clothesline at the ready. Sassy grabs her arm and whips her into the corner with Christian. After a quick dropkick, she tags Christian in. Christian kicks Froste to the ground, but she comes up with an elbow to the stomach and a couple of punches to the face. Before Christian can reel back, she gives him a t-bone suplex. She tags Lupin in, and they perform rolling thunder on Hawke...and then Lupin goes for a cover.

Ref: 1....2....Kickout.

Dave Jackson: The first cover of the match, and it almost ended it. Lupin looks a bit surprised.

Kevin Fisher: Of course he’s surprised, Lupin smashed him! And he still got up!

Christian crawls toward his corner, but lupin grabs his leg, holding him back and taunting him. A mule kick to the knees gives Christian a few inches for a few second, but then Lupin pulls him back again. Christian gives up going for the turn buckle, spinning his ankle around in Lupin’s hand, delivering a kick with a lot of torque on it strait to Lupin’s Jawbone.

Dave Jackson: That hit made even Lupin stumble.

Christian stands, kicks Lupin in the gut and pulls of a DDT. Lupin stands, and gets another DDT for his trouble. This time, he stays down, and Christian goes for a pin.

Ref: 1...2...Kickout!

Christian stands, looking down at Lupin, and delivers kick after kick to Lupin’s stomach. After Lupin’s head smacks against the mat as he tries to get up, he goes for a different strategy, grabbing Christian’s foot and spinning him around. Lupin tries to roll him up

Ref: 1...2...In the ropes!

Lupin slowly stands, Christian is still on the ground, so Lupin grabs his arm and yanks him to his feet and into an Irish whip. As Christian comes back, Lupin executes a jumping high kick that puts Christian to the floor again. Lupin goes for a cover.

Ref: 1...2...Kickout!

Before Lupin can react, Christian grabs his arm and puts him in an arm bar. A few seconds pass as Lupin struggles to get to the ropes. For a second, the pain flushes his face and it doesn’t look like he’s going to make it. With one last shove of inner strength, he makes it to the ropes. Christian lets him go, and Lupin slips behind him and dashes for his corner.

Dave Jackson: A successful tag after several very close pin attempts.

Kevin Fisher: It looks like Lupin already wants back in the ring.

Dave Jackson: That kind of enthusiasm will get him killed.

Froste, fresh from all the waiting, rushes at Christian, who is still unprepared. A clothesline from hell puts him down, but a bit to close to the ropes to make a cover. Froste drags him back by the arm. Just as he gets away from the ropes, Christian grabs Froste’s ankles and pulls her to the mat. A few quick punches, and then he lunges for his corner, making a successful tag.

Kevin Fisher: Finally both women are back in the ring.

Sassy comes right in, looking for a suplex, but Froste dodges to the side and to Sassy’s back. Froste puts her head between Sassy’s legs, rasing her high above the ring before dropping her face first to the mat.

Dave Jackson: And a nice electric chair drop there.

Kevin Fisher: For a girl....

Froste picks her up, and executes a northen lights suplex. Sassy, shuffles away from Froste, and stands, looking almost ready to faint.

Dave Jackson: A couple of powerful moves there. This would be a good time to go for the pin.

Kevin Fisher: But I don’t want this match to end!

Froste takes her time walking over to Sassy. She goes for another suplex, but Sassy gives her a couple of strong forearms first. She pushes Froste away from the ropes, and executes a textbook Samoan drop. Sassy goes for the pin.

Ref: 1...2....Kickout!

Dave Jackson: This has been a sensational match!

Froste grabs Sassy by the hair, and pulls as hard as she can. A little bit of the hair rips out as Froste screams. Froste pushes her away, and boots her in the face before going for the tag.

Dave Jackson: This could boad badly for Sassy and Christian.

Kevin Fisher: But especially for Sassy. Lupin’s not letting her get the tag.

Lupin runs into the ring and grabs Sassy. The crowd scream in protest as he executes a twisting Death Valley Driver on her. He picks her up, to do some other move, trying to hurt her as much as possible, and Johnny Critical runs in from the back. Lupin simply slams her back down to the mat and looks over at Critical. Christian keeps the ref distracted trying to get into the ring as Critical slips in under the ropes.

Dave Jackson: Here comes Critical. He doesn’t want to see a wholesale slaughter.

Kevin Fisher: At least the match is even now.

Critical, runs at Lupin bat in hand. Lupin just smiles and as the bat comes down, Lupin sprays poison grey mist from his mouth into Critical’s face. The bat bounces harmlessly off to the side, and Lupin pushes Critical back out of the ring. He turns to go back to destroying Sassy, but she’s already made the tag, and Christian lands a running drop kick.

Dave Jackson: At least the slaughter is over, but how is Critical?

Kevin Fisher: Who cares?

Christian picks Lupin up, and lands a hanging vertical suplex. Lupin bounces just a bit closer to his corner, and crawls as fast as he can. Christian delivers a couple of kicks, and picks Lupin back off the floor. A suplex puts him back on the ground again. Christian goes for the pin.

Ref: 1....2....Kickout.

Dave Jackson: He still kicked out! He still managed to kick out!

Kevin Fisher: You sound surprised.

Lupin grabs Christian and locks him in a figure four for only a few seconds, but it takes enough out of him for Lupin to make it too the tag. Froste runs in and whips Christian into her corner. Lupin deals out a couple of punches before the ref stops him. She forces Christian onto the turnbuckle, and executes her finisher, the Polar Bomb.

Dave Jackson: An amazing feet of strength. This could be over? Ref: 1....2....3! 

Kevin Fisher: There’s something else going on in the crowd!

Hellraiser Harrison, who has been letting the whole match go by with out doing a thing, has lured Lupin to the barrier. The two exchange a few short words, after which Lupin hops the rail and opens up on Harrison. Having not just been in a match, Harrison quickly takes the upper hand in the fight. Slowly and methodically, he beats Lupin down.

Dave Jackson: Well, Lupin’s team might have won, but it looks like Lupin lost.

Kevin Fisher: Yeah, but he’ll be back latter to be in another match!

Dave Jackson: Speaking of later, We’ll see all of you in fan land latter. For the next two matches, our friends from Bodycount will be doing the work.

*** Commercial Intermission Break ***

When the show returns, it shows not a ring, but back stage. Julia Rodgers stands in front of the camera.

Julia Rodgers: Hello fans. Tonight I have as a “special” guest. He made his re-debut two weeks ago on Extreme Warfare and has had the wrestling world buzzing. I’d like to welcome “The Specialist” Ric Gold to the interview set.

Ric Gold slowly walks into the frame with confident a smirk on his face.

Ric Gold: Hello Julia. You’re looking fine tonight (Gold gives Julia a wink).

JR: Well, thank you. And I must say you are looking fine also. You have been away from the ring for a few months and you are still in great shape.

RG: My body is a temple, except for on the weekends (Ric chuckles).

JR: Let’s look back at the week before last. Your grand entrance took everybody by surprise. The fans didn’t know how to react and the men competing didn’t know how to react… Footage is shown of Ric’s entrance and the reactions of the fans and the wrestlers competing in the cruiserweight three-way dance. As the match went on we all found out the reason for your appearance, John Steele.

RG: That’s right, John Steele is my target. He has been on “The Specialist’s” hit list for a long time now. Lucky for Mr. Steele, Circumstances beyond my control have let him escape me. Until now!

JR: Ric why so much hatred toward a man so loved as Beast?

RG: Brush up on your history doll face. John Steele nearly ruined my life. He took the most precious thing in my life away from me. He took my MONEY!! I was living in government housing, barley surviving. But this time around, it will be John who will be struggling to survive! It doesn’t matter, when, where or how. I will make him suffer!! And that also goes for anybody stupid enough to stand in my way, no matter what my agenda might be.

JR: Does that go the same for your brother Mark Gold, who came and saved Beast?

(The camera slowly pulls back as Mark Gold comes storming onto the interview area. Julia jumps back startled by the appearance. Ric Gold takes a half-step back but stands solidly in place.)

Mark Gold: Hey, big brother! Did I spoil your plan two weeks ago? Because if I did, I’m really sorry.

RG: Keep your nose out of my business kid. I wouldn’t want to see you get hurt.

MG: It’s not just your business Ric. John is my friend and when someone tires to hurt my friends, it becomes my business!! You know, I have sit around long enough watching you do whatever you want, to whoever you want…. It makes me sick to my stomach just knowing my brother is hurting so many people’s lives.

(Ric has a smile on his face as he lets out a laughter of joy.)

RG: You might not like it, but you are going to have to learn to live with it. I will continue doing whatever it takes to get what I want. I doesn’t matter who gets hurt in the process…

MG: I don’t like it and won’t learn to live with it! John and myself will put this to an end, once and for all!! John has become more of a brother to me, than you ever were!

(The camera shows Ric who’s face is now turning red with anger.)

RG: Fine, you want to make a stand, you want to play hero!? Then let’s play Mark.

(All of a sudden Julia Rodgers screams out as a chair connects with the back of Mark Gold’s head. Mark falls to the floor. The man holding the chair is “Primetime” Ray Anderson. Ray has a “sick” smile on his face as he gives Mark another hit to the back of the head with the steel chair. Ric and Ray then high-five and begin to stomp on Mark. Julia Rodgers scrambles and escapes the attack.) 

Dave Jackson (Watching the action from back stage): This is just too horrible to watch…. I can’t believe what Ric is doing to his… his brother.

Kevin Fisher (Also Backstage): HA HA HA!!! Believe it Jackson. Ric doesn’t let anything get in his way, especially family. I wish Ric was my brother.

DJ: (Gives a sigh of disgust) You’re unbelievable….

KF: Thanks!

DJ: It wasn’t a compliment. Oh, I can’t watch anymore.

(As Ric and Ray continue to stomp on Mark, from behind Ray what appears to be a piece of steel hits Anderson in the back. Ray stumbles forward, Ric Gold takes Ray by the arm and pulls him out of the way, as the “steel object” which we can now make out as a cast on an arm takes another swing at Ray. Gold and Anderson flee out of sight, as John Steele with steel cast on arm kneels next to Mark and cries out for medical assistance. The camera then goes back to ringside as Dave Jackson stares at the camera just shaking his head. Kevin Fisher on the other hand is rather happy.)

KF: Wasn’t that great?

DJ: NO!! (sighs again) Lets just get to the intros for our next crack team of announcers.

(“We Are the Champions” by Queen begins to play over the arena sound system. The audience waits in wonderment, not knowing whom it is that is going to be arriving now. Just then, Dustin Larson, dressed in a shirt with a map of the Congo on it and black, corduroy pants, comes out from the back. He has a triumphant look on his face he raises his fists into the air, signifying something great. He’s half way down the ramp before Shaden Rose and Peter Vexnor come out. The two look like they definitely don’t want to be there. Dustin is in the ring long before any of them. He already has a mic by the time Peter Vexnor spreads the ropes for Shaden. Shaden enters and Dustin begins.)

Dustin Larson:: Washington, D.C. I know that we haven’t been on good terms ever since I ran for Emperor of America. That was the Dustin of the past. Tonight, I’m a color commentator. Not only a color commentator… I’m the color commentator for the next two matches. That’s right Washington, D.C. We won! We were so damn good that the EWA called us… practically begged us to come here and commentate for them.

(The crowd cheers.)

Dustin Larson:: Alright, so lets go!

(Dustin tosses down the mic and slides out of the ring. Peter and Shaden, still looking… embarrassed, follow. The two are slower to getting out of the ring, since they both go through the ropes, but nonetheless, they get out of the ring. Dustin already has his headset on by the time the other two arrive at the announcers’ table.)

Dustin Larson:: Doesn’t it feel good to just be kicking Jackson and his craptacular partner out?

Shaden Rose:: It definitely feels good to be here tonight, but I was hoping that you wouldn’t be here.

Dustin Larson:: See, now why would you go and attempt to hurt a man’s ego like that, Shaden. I’ve never done anything to piss you off.

Shaden Rose:: I seem to remember my debut being ruined when you tried to slip me a couple mickeys.

Dustin Larson:: Oh my God! You’re still on that? Let it go! That was forever ago.

Peter Vexnor:: That was about 3 weeks ago, Dustin! And no, she won’t let it go. You never apologized to her!

Dustin Larson:: What the hell do I have to apologize for?!

Shaden Rose:: You know what? We’re not getting into it right now, okay? Let’s just try and get this match done with so that I don’t have to sit by Dustin anymore.

Dustin Larson:: I’m hurt and offended.

Peter Vexnor:: Did you shower today, Dustin? What the hell is that smell?

Dustin Larson:: Patchouli.

Shaden Rose:: That’s the stuff hippies wear.

Peter Vexnor:: And make, all that is is hippy butt sweat. After a rousing game of hacky sack they all go to the patchouli factory and get squeezed.

Dustin Larson:: Wow, your mom really messed you up!

(Inside the ring, Mark Scott is ready to announce the wrestlers. For the sake of time though, we’ll skip that. Mark Scott is the man. Oh, and everyone showed up except Bruce “The Flesh” Hammer.)

Dustin Larson:: I can’t believe Bruce Flesh isn’t here yet! I think this is the third occasion he’s no showed. He really must not want to achieve his dreams.

Peter Vexnor:: Sadly enough, I think your numbers are correct, Dustin, this is the third time he’s no-showed.

(The bell rings and all 14 out of the 15 wrestlers rush each other. Reaper, leans up against the ropes and flips himself out.)

ELIMINATED: REAPER

(Reaper walks to the announcers’ table, which looks surprisingly big, and sits down with the announcers, putting on a head set.)

Peter Vexnor:: Wow! We really are lucky today, ladies and gentlemen, we have Reaper by our side!

Reaper: This is awesome. I’ve never gotten the privilage to announce with you guys.

Dustin Larson:: The privilege is definitely all yours.

Shaden Rose:: Sorry about that, Reaper, Dustin feels threatened because he is a little insecure about his manhood.

Reaper: Maybe it’s his femininity.

(Everyone laughs. Just then, the action in the ring ends and all attention is at the entrance because…)

(“Stupify” by Disturbed plays very loudly over the loud speakers. Everyone waits for Bruce “The Flesh” Hammer to come out. Finally, he does, but not as anyone expected. A little, kiddy size yellow bus driven by Doug “The Midget” comes out, and slowly down the ramp way. Bruce is sitting in the back of this roofless vehicle. The bus stops when the music stops.)

Reaper: Oh my God. What the hell is this?

(Suddenly, The Humpty Dance begins to thump the speakers and and the bus begins to hydraulically bounce up and down. The crowd, if not anyone else, is laughing their ass off. The bus bounces its way to the ring and to the announcers table where Bruce picks up a head set and begins to commentate.)

Peter Vexnor:: Bruce, um… what an entrance. What are you doing not in the ring?

Bruce Hammer: First of all say hi to Jimmy!! 

Dustin Larson:: Who? 

Bruce Hammer: Say hi to Jimmy NOW OR I’LL HURT YOU!

Dustin Larson:: (Scared out of his mind.) Hi, Jimmy.

Shaden Rose: and Peter Vexnor:: (Also scared out of their minds.) Hi Jimmy.

Bruce Hammer: He's not over there, JACKY! He is sitting right beside me!! 

Dustin Larson:: My name is Dustin.

Bruce Hammer: YOU WILL SAY HI TO JIMMY NOW, JACKY!

Reaper: Hey, why don’t you just back off?

Bruce Hammer: Jimmy is sad because no one likes him. That makes me sad.

Peter Vexnor:: Oh for Christ’s sakes. (Annoyed) Hi, Jimmy.

Bruce Hammer: Jimmy says “Hi” back and uuhh your mom has a FAT POOPY ASS! (Bruce laughs insanely) SUCK ON IT!

Dustin Larson:: I would but I’m tired of sucking on your mom.

Reaper: Me, too.

Bruce Hammer: (Laughing) Me, three.

Shaden Rose:: Why aren’t you in the ring for God’s sake?

Bruce Hammer: Jimmy says the we are too damn good to be in this BATTLE OF THE RETARDS. So Jimmy, Doug, and I will insure that if a RETARD is going to win it… IT BETTER BE A DAMAGE INC. RETARD!!! (He laughs again.)

Reaper: Too good to be in? I don’t know about that. I don’t think you could stand up to hell, even The Samoan Warrior or, me. Hell… even Doll Face!

(Pied Piper is the first to start the action up. He throws a punch at K’Van Knight. Just then, everyone is on everyone. For the first 30 seconds (while the entire conversation you just read is going on) everyone is just throwing all out punches. Pied Piper is being pushed over the ropes by Knight when Cheri Fields grabs Knight’s legs and pulls them out from underneath him. Knight goes down. Lance Righteous, who is in the middle of the ring, capitalizes by hitting a leg drop on Knight as Piper falls back into the ring. Lance is immediately hit in the back by Prime, who Lance was previously fighting.)

Reaper: I can hardly see into this sea of people.

Shaden Rose:: It really is difficult to navigate this action.

(In the ring, Anjel is being double-teamed by Delroy Facey and The Samoan Warrior. The Samoan Warrior picks Anjel up and hits a power slam. Facey climbs to the second rope and launches off with a flying elbow. The Samoan Warrior picks Anjel up. The Warrior and Facey both push, trying to get her over the ropes. Just then, Fatal Femme is whipped into them by Pyro. She hits both of them hard. Anjel, Warrior, and Facey both go flying over the ropes. Facey and Warrior are both able to land on the apron. Anjel, however, goes flying to the ground, skids a little, and rests up against the announcing table.)

ELIMINATED: ANJEL

Bruce Hammer: Hahaha! A toy!

(Bruce gets up and snatches Anjel up. He sits back down, with her on his lap. She is passed out. Meanwhile, Face and The Samoan Warrior are slugging it out on the apron. Fatal Femme gets up and, with the element of surprise, clotheslines Facey. Facey falls off the apron.)

ELIMINATED: DELROY FACEY

(Fatal Femme attempts the same thing with The Samoan Warrior. However, the element of surprise is gone and The Warrior is able to duck. He drops to his knees, then stomach, and rolls in. Meanwhile, while all the action you just read was going on, this was happening at the announce table.)

Peter Vexnor:: I think she may need medical attention, Bruce.

Bruce Hammer: (In a girly voice while bobbling Anjel’s head around.) I don’t need no stinkin’ medical attention. I’m Superwoman on the weekends!

Reaper: Seriously, let her go.

Bruce Hammer: (In a girly voice while bobbling Anjel’s head around.) I don’t want to be let go, I want to be held all night long by The Flesh.

Dustin Larson:: Well, I guess what the lady says, goes, right?

Reaper: I’m going to give you five seconds to let her go so she can be attended to by the EMTs that are on their way down right now. Five. Four. Three. Two. One.

(Reaper tosses off the head set. Bruce seems oblivious to everything. Reaper walks over to Bruce and picks him up by the collar. Reaper takes Anjel out of Bruce’s hands and lays her down gently just as the medical technicians get there. Reaper then turns around and lands a punch that can be heard throughout the arena. Bruce’s smile is wiped away by a look of pain as he falls backward, stumbling on his chair. Reaper punches Bruce a few more times and then walks him to the ring, tossing him in just as The Samoan Warrior is rolling in. Reaper goes back and gets resituated at the announcers’ table.)

Reaper: Sorry about that, had to take care of a little business.

Dustin Larson:: Hero of the day!

(Back in the ring, Rick Gold and Ray Anderson are double-teaming on Pied Piper. Piper is on the ground and both are kicking the hell out of him. BloodCrow turns Pyro around, who was beating up on Fatal Femme, and kicks him in the back of the head. Pyro goes down hard. Just then, Fatal Femme low blows BloodCrow. From out of nowhere, K’Van Knights hits a bulldog on BloodCrow. Bruce Flesh is up now and runs at Ric Gold. He shoulder blocks him from behind. Sonny Reynolds hits a roundhouse kick on Knight.)

Reaper: BloodCrow definitely is getting man handled.

Dustin Larson:: What do you expect, moron? He’s the tallest frickin’ guy in there!

Reaper: Well no duh. I’m just making an observation.

Peter Vexnor:: Forgive Dustin, he doesn’t know what that is.

(In the ring, Pied Piper has come back and is now going fist to fist with Ray Anderson. Bruce Flesh whips Ric Gold into the rope and hits a clothesline. Lance Righteous and Prime, who were both fighting each other up to this point, are helping Pyro and Knight to push BloodCrow over the ropes. Fatal Femme pulls Prime away from helping and dropkicks him. Under the added pressure, Pyro, Knight, and Righteous fall backwards. BloodCrow lands on his feet. Just then, Knight uses The Samoan Warrior, who is on all fours, to jump off of, hitting BloodCrow with that move the Hardy Boys always do. BloodCrow goes vaulting backward over the ropes.)

ELIMINATED: BLOODCROW

Peter Vexnor:: It looks like everyone else just got a little bit safer now that BloodCrow is gone.

(In the ring, The Samoan Warrior is fighting with Knight, who seems to have a problem with the 400+ pound Warrior stepping on his back. Ray Anderson dropkicks Bruce Flesh, in the back. Piper attacks Anderson from behind. Sonny Reynolds dukes it out with Lance Righteous while Fatal Femme, Pyro, and Prime lay dormant in the ring, gathering their strength. Knight has The Warrior backed up against the ropes. Just then, Sonny “The Flyguy” Reynolds climbs the top rope, ready to do a move on The Warrior. Just then, Prime pushes Sonny Reynolds off, sending Reynolds crashing right into the gaurd rail.)

ELIMINATED: SONNY “FLYGUY” REYNOLDS”

Dustin Larson:: And we’re down to nine.

(Pyro hits Prime from behind. Pyro whips him into the opposite turnbuckle. However, Prime hits Lance Righteous before he gets there and the two go down. Fatal Femme capitalizes on both of them. She kicks Lance in the face and picks Prime up. She whips Prime into the ropes, leap frogs him, and then turns around and hits a flying clothesline. K’Van Knight is trying to pick Samoan Warrior up, but not having much luck. The Warrior only laughs and then hits an axehandle smash over Knight’s back. Knight falls backward. The Warrior whips Knight into the ropes and lands a big boot to the face. The Warrior pulls Knight to the turnbuckle and climbs to the middle rope. He is ready to hit the Bonsai Drop. However, Pyro wants different, he runs to The Warrior and shoulder block him from behind. The force causes The Warrior to fly over the ropes.)

ELIMINATED: THE SAMOAN WARRIOR

Reaper: And now everything is more even. The tallest man was eliminated and so is the Samoan Warrior.

Dustin Larson:: That man’s fat is hypnotizing. It frightens me.

Shaden Rose:: What do you think of Pyro’s performance?

Reaper: Pyro is a great wrestler and a great partner. I knew he’d do really well.

(Pyro had just pushed The Samoan Warrior over the ropes when Fatal Femme comes running at him. Pyro turns around to see her running. He barely has time to duck. This causes a problem for Femme who jumps to try and avoid a painful collision. He lands on the turnbuckle, miraculously. She tries her hardest to keep her balance. However, Pyro won’t have any of that. He pushes her off the turnbuckle.)

ELIMINATED: FATAL FEMMEM

(Bruce Flesh reaches down into his pants. He begins to pull something out. All you see is a big, black, round object and you’re ready to look away. However, what Bruce pulls out is a 24-inch, black dildo. He immediately takes to hitting Ray Anderson over the head with it. Kyle Lake, the referee in charge, comes running over. He starts yelling at Flesh. Flesh hits Lake over the head with the dildo. Lake stumbles back but isn’t knocked out, since the dildo really isn’t that painful. He’s had enough. He slides out of the ring.)

Reaper: Bruce Flesh is the most messed up person I think I may have seen. Although, I have been around some crazy people.

Dustin Larson:: He is disgusting, but hilarious.

Shaden Rose:: He’s unstable. I mean, he thinks he played for the Minnesota Vikings. You look at any play sheet for the Vikings over the last 15 years and you won’t see any Bruce Hammer. He’s a crack pot.

Peter Vexnor:: It wasn’t a very smart move to piss off Kyle Lake, either. This is one of those “take no bullshit” kind of refs. He… is he getting a chair?

(A very pissed off Kyle Lake gets a chair while Bruce Hammer continues his dildo beating on Ray Anderson. Ric Gold, who has Piper down, goes over to Hammer and rips the dildo out of his hands. Hammer is caught off guard. Gold stretches out Hammer’s pants, puts the dildo down there, and kicks Hammer as hard as possible in the ass. Hammer’s eyes open wide. He begins skipping around the ring like a giddy little girl. Lake slides in with chair and nails Hammer with it. Hammer falls backwards, running into the ropes. Lake takes another swing at him and Hammer goes flying over the ropes.)

ELIMINATED: BRUCE “THE FLESH” HAMMER

Shaden Rose:: Hammer seemed to be having a little too much fun with that… weapon.

Dustin Larson:: Yeah, now it’s ruined. I was going to try and get it from him after the show… to give to you, of course.

Shaden Rose:: What? Why would I want that?!

Dustin Larson:: I saw your eyes widen when he pulled it out. You were practically salivating.

Peter Vexnor:: Oh my God, Dustin. Now you’re making no sense at all! There’s no way Shaden would want anything like that.

Dustin Larson:: Yeah. I guess I never really thought about how it could hurt, since it’s almost as big as me and all.

Reaper: Is the announce team always like this.

Shaden Rose:: Worse.

(Ric Gold and Ray Anderson are taking advantage of the 2-on-1 with Pied Piper. Pyro and K’Van Knight are going at it. Prime and Lance Righteous are going at it. Pyro drops Knight with a stellar solar plexus punch. Pyro immediately takes advantage by applying the abdominal stretch. Knight begins screaming in pain as Lake asks if he wants to tap out. Pyro eventually lets the move go and whips Knight into the ropes. Knight reverses it however. Knight charges Pyro. At the last second, Pyro gets his shoulder down. He uses all his strength to send Knight flying over the top rope.)

ELIMINATED: K’VAN KNIGHT

Reaper: Yeah! Go Pyro!

Peter Vexnor:: Definitely a hell of a singles premier for Pyro!

Shaden Rose:: He is an amazing wrestler.

Peter Vexnor:: Pyro isn’t only a great wrestler, he’s also a funny guy to be around.

(Inside the ring Lance Righteous hits a DDT on Prime. Ray Anderson is on the top of the ropes while Ric has Pied Piper laid across his knee. They’re about to do a tag team move. However, Pyro ain’t having none of that. He shakes the ropes that Ray Anderson is on. Ray loses his balance and falls backward.)

ELIMINATED: RAY ANDERSON

Peter Vexnor:: He’s just adding to his list of people beaten!

(Ric Gold gets up, very pissed off. He goes to Pyro and the two lock up. Meanwhile, Lance picks Prime up and whips him into the ropes. Prime ducks a clothesline. Prime comes back off the ropes and hits a Lou Thesz Press. Prime slugs Lance with lefts and rights. Ric kicks Pyro in the stomach. Ric hits a vertical suplex. Pied Piper clotheslines Ric. Prime picks Lance up and tries his hardest to get him over the ropes. It doesn’t work. Prime lets Lance fall back to the ground. He picks Lance up, whips him into the ropes, following very closely, and brings a knee to Lance that causes Lance to do a flip in the air. Pied Piper picks Pyro up and pits him in a sleeper hold. He hits an Idjit Buster. Piper walks Pyro over to the ropes and hits a Swan Song. Pyro flies over the ropes.)

ELIMINATED: PYRO

Shaden Rose:: Well, I guess all good things must come to an end.

Peter Vexnor:: Still, a marvelous job on the part of Pyro. 

(Prime hits another knee to the gut that sends Lance head over heels. Prime goes for the pin as Lake counts: one, two, three.)

ELIMINATED: LANCE RIGHTEOUS

(Lance Righteous slides out of the ring and goes to the announcers’ table. He takes the spot that was occupied by Bruce Hammer.)

Peter Vexnor:: Oh, wow! Well, I guess we are getting yet another wrestler here to commentate!

Lance Righteous: Good evening. I hope you don't mind some company out here tonight.

Dustin Larson:: (Sarcastically) Its always a pleasure. 

Lance Righteous: Thank you. It’s a pleasure to be here. 

Dustin Larson:: Uh, yeah, that was sarcasm.

Shaden Rose:: Shut up, Dustin. Would you like to talk about your performance in the Battle Royale? 

Lance Righteous: Well, going in, I knew it wasn't my kind of match. I just tried to stay focused and be smarter than everyone else. It was much different than a normal match, where I go in knowing that I can win.

Dustin Larson:: Know you can win? Whatever.

(Inside the ring Piper hits a German Suplex on Ric Gold. Prime is doing the smart thing and waiting. Piper picks Gold up and sets up for a Jackknife Powerbomb. Just then, Prime decides to intervene. He hits a clothesline on Piper. Prime whips Gold into the ropes and hits a drop toehold. Prime drags Gold over to the ropes and begins to try and knock him over. He’s struggling really hard to stay inside the ring. Piper is up and runs at Gold, who now has his back on the top rope, slowly being inched out of the ring. Piper rams right into Gold, knocking over the ropes.)

ELIMINATED: RIC GOLD

(Prime and Piper waste no time. They immediately tie up. Piper gets Prime into a headlock. Prime pushes Piper off of him, sending him into the ropes. Prime hits a superkick on Piper. Prime picks Piper up and hits a catapult, sending a Piper straight into the turnbuckle. Piper crashes into the turnbuckle headfirst. Prime gets up and goes to Piper. He picks Piper up, while he gets on the bottom rope, and starts punching. One, two, three, four, five… Cheri doesn’t like this, however. She grabs Prime’s legs and trips him up.)

Reaper: Very nice move on Cheer’s part. Her boyfriend was in trouble and she helped him out.

Peter Vexnor:: He’s still cheating!

Lance Righteous: That is wrong. There should be no need to cheat if you’re as good as Pied Piper claims he is.

Shaden Rose:: I’d have to agree. Although, I don’t think that was planned by any means.

(Piper, snapping out of it, goes to Prime and picks him up. Piper hits a fireman’s carry suplex on Prime. Piper gets up, climbs to the top rope, and hits a top rope leg drop. Piper gets up and picks Prime up. He hits a dropkick that sends Prime flying backwards. Prime runs into the turnbuckle. Piper rushes at him and hits a Stinger Splash. Piper puts Prime on the top rope and also climbs the rope. He is ready to land Pay the Piper. Prime doesn’t feel like getting the move performed on him, however. He lands a few punches to Piper’s side. Piper head butts Prime three times, blood now trickling down Piper’s face. Piper hits Pay the Piper.)

Lance Righteous: This is all over. Once a move of that magnitude is landed… it’s all over.

Dustin Larson:: Piper is real turd, but what can I say? He makes me laugh. I can’t tell if he’s being serious half the time.

(In the ring, Piper goes for the pin as Kyle Lake counts: one, two, three.)

WINNER: “THE PIED PIPER” KURT VISCONTY

(“Opticon” by Orgy plays while Pied Piper celebrates in the ring. The announcers converse.)

Reaper: Well, that’s all for me. Thank’s for having me, guys.

Dustin Larson:: Thanks for leaving. Now it’s your turn, Lance.

Lance Righteous: Well, actually, I’m sticking around.

Peter Vexnor:: Good. What’s your opinion on Pied Piper’s win?

Lance Righteous: Well, I think it’s a very good victory as far as Piper’s career will be. However, it wasn’t all that exciting of a match.

Shaden Rose: If you want to talk about exciting, you have to mention any of the upcoming matches, including the next one, Valykerie vs. Man in Black vs. Draven Genocide for the Television Title.

Dustin Larson:: Yeah, mixing a cage and fire… that’s just plain ingenious.

Lance Righteous: I can tell you’ve never been a wrestler before.

Dustin Larson:: Okay, um… you’ve seen me. You’re looking at me right… and you’re just NOW figuring out I’ve never been a wrestler?

Peter Vexnor:: Buck off the sarcasm, okay?

Dustin Larson:: How 'bout you buck off you bucking buckhead.

Lance Righteous: How 'bout we move on to the next match?

Shaden Rose:: I really have no problem with that at all.

Peter Vexnor:: Well, our next match definitely could prove to be the show stealer.

Dustin Larson:: It easily will be. Any match with fire is going to be exciting.

Lance Righteous: And extremely dangerous.

Dustin Larson:: Danger schmanger. Wrestlers are hired to do this.

Lance Righteous: Wrestlers are hired to wrestle, not burn.

Peter Vexnor:: Finally, someone I can agree with. You see, Dustin, a match can be very entertaining, and I must admit fire in a match is extremely entertaining to me, but despite that, I realize just how dangerous it is, and therefore it can't be nearly exciting.

Shaden Rose:: It's easy for Dustin, and the average fans to get excited for stuff like this because they don't give it as much thought as you, though, Peter.

Peter Vexnor:: Well, I know Dustin is almost always stoned out of his mind, so, yeah…

Dustin Larson:: Hey, I take resentment to that. I have a very high profile job and I can't waste my efforts by doing drugs.

Lance Righteous: You sound like Shadowflare.

Dustin Larson:: Yeah, well, he lies. But that's because wrestling is not a real job.

Lance Righteous: I'd let you fight me and see how real it is.

Shaden Rose:: Sounds like a challenge to me.

Dustin Larson:: Blah, blah, blah. Idle threats. No big deal.

Lance Righteous: Idle…

Dustin Larson:: (Cutting off Lance.) Idle threats! Let's leave it at that!

(For a second, everyone is silent and confused. By the time they realize what's just happened, it's too late to reply.)

Peter Vexnor:: Well, the special propane tanks and metal riggings have been set up around the ring and we're almost ready for this match to begin!

Shaden Rose:: This is going to be one for the ages, I can sense it already.

(Mark Scott is in the ring.)

Mark Scott: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is a Hell's Gate match. Introducing first, weighing in at 255 pounds and hailing from Memphis, Tennessee: "THE WIDOWMAKER" DRAVEN GENOCIDE!

("One" by Metallica plays over PA as purple smoke fills the ramp. After a moment the smoke starts to clear and you see "The WidowMaker" on the ramp. The fans are cheering him on wildly. He walks to the ring giving many fans a high five the way. He is forced to climb into ring via the rings steps because of the metal that will shoot flames during the match.)

Mark Scott: And his opponent, weighing in at 212 pounds and hailing from Seattle, Washington: VALYKERIE!

("Leave You Far Behind" by Lunatic Calm plays over the loud speakers, but much more quiet than Valykerie's usual entrance. A few seconds into the song, as the techno beat picks up, the volume dramatically increases. White pyros fire upward from either side of the platform. Valykerie runs onto the platform and half way down the ramp, before pausing to acknowledge the fans. He sits perfectly still for a few seconds, and then raises his hands, and the cheers increase. He stands for a few more seconds, and then runs down to the ring. The fans are absolutely behind him. He climbs into the ring as he and Draven stare down one another)

(Then, from out of nowhere, Dustin Larson pushes Mark Scott out of the way, taking his mic from him. Dustin must have gotten into the ring while Valykerie was coming down to the ring.)

Dustin Larson:: Okay, tonight is special since the Man in Black is gonna be here and all. So, I thought I'd do something very special for the man. Ladies and gentlemen: THE MAN IN BLACK!

("Men in Black" by Will Smith starts to play over the arena sound system. The crowd almost immediately goes into a conniption of laughter. From out of the back two people, one a tall black man dressed in a suit, and the other someone dressed in a poorly made alien costume come out. They start doing a dance routine that you're about ready to piss your pass over because it's that hysterical. Man in Black comes out, a look of bewilderment on his face. Dustin is in the ring dance… or pretending to. I really don't know what the hell it is he's doing. In one swift movement the Man in Black strikes the "alien." He turns quickly and superkicks "Will Smith." Man in Black then runs down to the ring as the music is cut off. Dustin stops dancing, afraid, and climbs the turnbuckle, jumping out of the ring that way. He rushes to the announcers' table and Man in Black leaps onto the apron and gets in the ring, starting the match.)

Dustin Larson:: I am very angry! I try to make this guys singles debut something special and he pisses all over it!

Peter Vexnor:: (Laughing uncontrollably) That is the only worth while thing you've ever done, Dustin.

(Inside the ring Man in Black comes at Valykerie and Genocide. He clotheslines both. The cage begins to lower. You can hear a physical clicking from the metal that should have flames coming out. It sounds like it's trying to start a spark, to ignite the propane, but nothing is happening.)

Shaden Rose:: That doesn't sound good at all!

Peter Vexnor:: Something's not right.

(Despite the unsafe sounding clicking the wrestlers continue. Man in Black picks Valykerie up and throws him over the ropes. Valykerie lands hard. The cage almost crushes him since he's lying right under it. Luckily, he gained his senses to move. Man in Black punches Genocide on the top of the skull five times. Already, Genocide is bleeding. Man in Black whips Genocide into a corner and follows up with a monkey flip. Valykerie gets into the ring, the element of surprise on his side. He kicks Man in Black in the back. Man in Black doubles over. Valykerie sets up MIB on his shoulders. Valykerie hits a quick Electric Chair Drop on Valykerie.)

Lance Righteous: Now I'm a little worried. Those things haven't ignited yet. And, if they haven't ignited, doesn't that mean that the ring area is filling with propane?

(In the ring Valykerie is laying kicks to the back of MIB. Genocide, now up, begins to help Valyk. Valykerie takes this as a sign of teamwork and begins to climb the turnbuckle. He motions for Genocide to move out of the way. Genocide does. Valyk leaps off for a big splash. However, Genocide, having not moved far, gets Valyk in mid air, sending him head over heels and onto his back… outside the ring. The camera does a close up of Valyk's expression of pain.)

Peter Vexnor:: For the fans at home that don't know how this works. The ring is surrounded by metal that is hooked to propane tanks. There is wood underneath the ring for the wrestlers to use in order to ignite the cage which is covered in a special burning solution. This will add an element of danger and make sure that no wrestler will be able to do a move off the top of the cage, unless they want first degree burns all over their bodies.

Dustin Larson:: Yeah, but this match isn't going to work unless those damn things ignite!

(Inside the ring Draven Genocide is climbing the top rope. He is waiting for Valyk to get up. However, his wait is too long for he has forgotten all about MIB. MIB is up and stealthily sneaks up behind Genocide. In a swift movement, MIB slips in between Genocide's spread legs, pulls Genocide off the top rope, and hits an amazing powerbomb. Valykerie had just gotten up. Unluckily for him, the flames at ringside ignited with the crash onto the ring mat. Flames literally shoot ten feet up into the air. They also expand outward. The ring ropes burn. The cage catches fire at the very roof of it. The fire spreads down making a beautiful pattern as flames criscross one another due to the linking. Flashbulbs go off. The place looks like it's just been through war. The ropes aren't burning to badly, but still, you don't want to stand on them, trust me. The force of the explosion sends Valykerie vaulting backward, right into the cage. Luckily, that part isn't on fire yet and he rolls over, black ashes covering his face. He looks hurt.)

(Everyone, including fans, are in bewilderment as the three wrestlers lay motionless.)

Peter Vexnor:: OH MY FUCK… ER! I…!

Shaden Rose:: Is everyone alright? Are the wrestlers alright? Are… are the fans alright?

Dustin Larson:: I can't believe what I just saw! That was… was…

Lance Righteous: That was disturbing to say the least.

Peter Vexnor:: Do you see why they say these matches are dangerous, then, Dustin?!

Dustin Larson:: That was… was…

Shaden Rose:: It was scary! I mean, we have no confirmation if those wrestlers are still breathing!

Dustin Larson:: WAS SO FREAKING AWESOME! OH MY GOD!

Peter Vexnor:: What?! Awesome? Those men could very well be extremely hurt. They could… I'm sure are… burned. They've just been in the middle of an explosion!

Shaden Rose:: OH MY GOD! MIB IS MOVING!

(MIB, to the amazement to the entire audience, both in the arena and at home watching this PPV on TV, stands up. It's short lived, however, as he collapses. Medical EMTs and gurneys galore come rushing down the ring. The ref unlocks the door *the only part of the ring not burning* to let the EMTs in. The reach Valykerie first and begin to load him up. Fire extinguishers go off, but they are of no use. Whatever part they put out is re-ignited by the fire surrounding it. Valykerie is loaded onto a gurney and it begins to leave. He begins moving. EMTs try to restrain him. MIB is struggling to get up on his own. One of his shoes is on fire. EMTs carefully get into the ring, not wanting, themselves to get burned. They rush to MIB and rip his shoe off. They begin to load Genocide who shows signs of life. Genocide begins convulsing. Wait, not convulsing… thrashing… protesting.)

Peter Vexnor:: Ladies and gentlemen, tonight has been tragic. This was not planned. This was not expected. And, at this time let's pray for these three… what the hell?

(MIB, now up, although very wobbly, lands an elbow across the chest of Genocide, who is on the gurney.)

Lance Righteous: What is this? This is the most dishonorable act I think I've ever seen in my life.

(EMTs try to hold MIB at bay, but he seems to be regaining his strength by the second. He pushes to EMTs off of him and begins to climb the turnbuckle. From his propped up position on the gurney half way up the ramp, Mick Fol… whoops, Valykerie sees what is going on in the ring. He begins to attempt sitting up. EMTs urge him not to, but he doesn't listen to them. MIB jumps off the ropes, attempting a leg drop. Genocide somehow rolls off the gurney. MIB busts it in half.)

Peter Vexnor:: I… I can't believe what I'm seeing! These men! These… these men are heroes! They're the bravest people I've ever seen! They're trying to continue this match.

Shaden Rose:: This is a true testament to the human condition and strength!

Dustin Larson:: This is fucking awesome!

Peter Vexnor:: Hey, watch the mouth!

Dustin Larson:: You cussed!

Peter Vexnor:: The ring exploded at the time!!!!

(Valykerie rolls off the ring, letting out a scream of pain as he does. The EMTs are mesmerized. They begin to help Valykerie to his feet. He refuses and pushes them off of him. He begins slowly crawling down to the ring. Meanwhile, Genocide is attempting to get up. EMTs help him up. Once up, he lays one out with a strong fist to the face. He's obviously out of it. An EMT comes out behind him to try and restrain him, but he also gets knocked out, this one with an elbow to the head. The first one rolls out of the ring, catching fire as he does. The third, and final EMT freaks out and carefully gets out of the ring. The two men with fire extinguishers put out the first man. The third EMT pulls the second one out as quickly as he can. This man also catches fire, but is easily put out. The EMT and fire extinguisher guys pull the two unconscious EMTs out of the ring. This entire time Genocide has been blindly stumbling around while MIB slowly gets up.)

Peter Vexnor:: What the hell are the EMTs doing?! They're leaving?!?!?! They're fuc… they're… leaving?!

Lance Righteous: This match has to be stopped! This can't keep going! I know first hand how painful a normal match can be! These men have been through hell.

Shaden Rose:: (Dramatically) They really have entered Hell's gates…

(Valykerie has reached the ring, also having gotten on his feet. He stumbles inside the cage. He is clutching his arm. He turns around, once in the cage, and closes the door. He locks it himself, albeit it takes forever.)

Dustin Larson:: This is totally the coolest thing I have ever seen. These three guys have already won in my mind… and I never say sappy stuff like that!

Peter Vexnor:: I'm amazed they can walk!

Lance Righteous: I'm amazed they're not brain dead!

Dustin Larson:: It helps to come into the match brain dead.

(Genocide seems to be in that state of mind where he's actually remembered his name. Valykerie calls to him, so it's pretty lucky Genocide is at that stage ;) Genocide turns. MIB is up, stumbling a little. He leans up against the top rope, which isn't burning. Valykerie yells "WE FINISH THIS!" Both competitors in the ring shake their heads yes. With that, Valykerie, slides into the ring, through the flames.)

Peter Vexnor:: This is insane and unhealthy! They shouldn't be in there!

Dustin Larson:: If they want to wrestle, risk life and limb and further injury, let them!

(Valykerie, running only on adrenaline, rushes at Genocide. He clotheslines Genocide over the top rope. Genocide hits the metal on his way down, his tights catching fire. The landing almost immediately puts them out, however. The entire crowd is on their feet, in amazement. Valykerie turns around to MIB. MIB runs at him. With a perfectly timed execution, Valyk hits a running DDT. The crowd is going insane.)

Lance Righteous: Valykerie, as well as Draven Genocide and the Man in Black, deserves a hand. This is absolutely unfathomable to me… to wrestle in such a condition.

Dustin Larson:: This is exactly what I've been trying to say. This is the wrestlers' mentality! This is their dream and they're living it. You don't just stop because you're on fire!

(In the ring, Valykerie climbs the top rope. He motions to the crowd and… is shaken off by Draven Genocide. Valykerie vaults forward, doing a somersault in the air, and lands hard on his back, inches away from MIB. Genocide, mustering up a lot of strength climbs to the second rope of the turnbuckle, leap frogs it, and hits a double leg drop on the two opponents. A "GENOCIDE, GENOCIDE" chant has started.)

Peter Vexnor:: Amazing comeback being performed by Genocide! A minute ago he was retarded in all sense of the word.

Dustin Larson:: Yeah, he was stumbling around like that midget guy… Danny Bonofuco or whatever.

Shaden Rose:: What must be going through these men's minds? Do they want to win, or just remain stable? I mean, do they even realize they're still wrestling? Or is this just instinctual reaction to a traumatic experience?

Lance Righteous: I think these guys are in this just to prove they can do it. Belts don't matter in a situation like this. You're honored to still be alive!

(Genocide gets up and picks Valykerie up. He wraps his arms around Valykerie and hits a spine buster. Flames shoot up into the air. Genocide climbs the top turnbuckle and jumps down to the ring steps. He lifts the ring apron and finds one of the wood stakes that was meant for igniting the ring. He stuffs it in his tights and goes back up the ring steps, over the turnbuckle, and into the ring. MIB is up and ready to kill Genocide. Genocide stands his ground. MIB rushes at him and Genocide remains standing there. Just as MIB is in arms length, Genocide pulls the woods stake out of his pants, puts it on the burning ropes. It immediately ignites, and Genocide smashes it over MIB's head. The wood bursts into a million burning splinters. Flash bulbs catch this miraculous event. From behind, Valykerie gets Genocide in a sleeper hold. Valyk hits a sleeper bulldog. Valyk gets up. The crowd is now chanting "VALYK, VALYK.")

Peter Vexnor:: I think this is the loudest any audience has ever been in the history of wrestling.

Lance Righteous: This is the only time I've ever seen fans stand up the entire match, too. This is just amazing electricity!

Dustin Larson:: This is why I said this would be the best damn match of the night! This is what the fans love and they are showing their respect to the wrestlers.

Shaden Rose:: This is just a beautiful time to be wrestling fan!

(Valykerie whips MIB hard into the turnbuckle. MIB smashes against the post, and falls to the ground. Valykerie runs at the turnbuckle, jumps over MIB onto the second rope, turns around, and executes his flipping leg drop, landing right across MIB's neck. Valykerie is all but spent now. Valyk slowly gets up where an awaiting Draven hits a fireman's carry on Valyk. Draven rushes to Valyk as Valyk gets up, his force still carrying him backward, causing him to stumble in the direction. Draven, without slowing down, uses Valyk's own force to carry the two into the turnbuckle. With his arm around Valyk's head, Draven hits a tornado DDT.)

Peter Vexnor:: Ten minutes ago we couldn't tell if these men were dead or alive! Now they are almost completely back to full form and fending one another off.

Dustin Larson:: I'm still going for Man in Black, despite the fact that he was an ass and didn't like my music.

(A portion of the ring, from the heat of the flames, has completely melted and chunks of debris start to fall. Luckily this part of the cage is on the outside of the ring. Draven runs to where MIB is. MIB has just gotten up. Genocide hits a spinning boot scrape.)

Shaden Rose:: The defending champion, Draven Genocide, is wrestling like there's no tomorrow!

Lance Righteous: With the way these guys are pushing their bodies to the limit… there may be no tomorrow!

(Genocide goes back to Valyk, whips him into the ropes. Valyk catches himself onto the ropes and hops over them, safely to the ground. He puts out the flames on his overcoat that were caused by grabbing the ropes. Valyk wanders, aimlessly, a little out of it. Finally, he stops, realizing that he's about to walk right into the burning cage. He turns around to see Genocide launching himself off of the top rope. A drop kick to Valyk, straight into the cage. Valyk's coat is definitely on fire. Valyk rolls to put them out. Genocide looks up, to the missing chunk of the cage. He seems to have an idea.)

Peter Vexnor:: What… What the hell is he doing? Why does he want Valyk's overcoat?

Dustin Larson:: I think… no… he couldn't!

(Draven uses the coat to shield himself from the flames as he starts to climb the cage. He also has a wood stake in his tights. He climbs quickly, his shoes, unprotected, catch fire. Due to the exposure to the searing heat, the cage bends under Draven's weight. Still, he advances… and with all his strength. He must be burning up, you can tell by the look on his face. He reaches the hole in the cage… a hole that is very difficult to get through. He jumps backwards, still using Valyk's coat, which is starting to show holes due to the flames burning straight through it. Draven catches a side of the hole, pulling himself up. However, this is the most horrific part you see. Valyk's coat burns off. Only the portion Draven has for his hands is still with him. Draven, summoning all of his strength, pulls himself up. He throws himself on the cage, the flames obviously burning him. Draven is up in a split second. He walks to where he is over MIB, in the ring. He takes the stake out and begins beating that portion of the cage.)

Dustin Larson:: That is wrestling smarts! He's trying to use the weakened state of the cage to actually open up another hole!

Lance Righteous: The question is… what the hell is he going to do once the hole is there?

Shaden Rose:: I guess we're going to find out soon!

(23 seconds pass. Valyk is up, and watching in amazement as Genocide beats a hole in the cage. Genocide finally has a gigantic hole. Genocide, obviously in pain, burns visibly on his back, leaps through the hole. Everything in time seems to slow down. You can hear the panting breath of whoever you're watching the PPV with as you, on the edge of your seat, stare, unblinking, in amazement at the feat currently being undertaken. With burning shoes Draven Genocide glides through the air like a feather. Flash bulbs go off all over the place. Time gets slower and slower. Genocide begins the corkscrew portion of his finisher. With each passing millennium you can feel your heart race faster and faster. You can't wait anymore. What the hell is wrong with the space time continuum? All sound fades as you continue to watch Draven fall, slower and slower. All you can hear is your own breath. Finally…)

(Draven lands his elbow drop, but A SECOND TOO LATE. MIB rolled out of the way. Everything returns to normal because your cocaine high is over. But, wasn't that amazing? Valykerie slides into the ring, now shirtless. Flames lick at his chest, wanting supper. On one side of the ring stands MIB. Valykerie and he stare down. Suddenly…)

(The ring in the middle explodes in shattering bits. Malum Diabolus pops out. MIB uses this time to catch Valyk off guard. He runs at him and tries to clothesline. Valyk isn't having any of that, however. Down goes MIB with a superkick. Malum runs at Valyk, superkick! MIB is up, arm drag! Malum is up, arm drag! MIB is up, clothesline. Malum is up, clothesline! Valyk is on fire. Meanwhile, I think Genocide is dead, but no matter, there's more exciting things to be seen then a motionless wrestler.)

Dustin Larson:: Malum, the World Champ has arrived!

Shaden Rose:: And in horrible fashion! It's not right to attack your opponent like that!

Lance Righteous: That's what you get for cheating!

(Inside the ring Valyk has climbed the turnbuckle. He's ready to take this match to the ending point. He's about to do his move when MIB gets up, falling down onto his knees, pushes Valyk off. Valyk flies backwards…. Straight into the burning cage! The most horrific scream in the history of screaming is hurt. The mettle bends with Valyk's weight, someone submersing him in a coffin of burning, hot iron. With enough wriggling, Valyk is somehow able to get loose from what could have been his doom. He falls to his knees. He only remains there for a second however.)

Peter Vexnor:: This is criminal the punishment either three of these men has had to endure! It's even more criminal that the EWA hasn't done anything to stop this!

Dustin Larson:: What could they do? Genocide, MIB, and Valykerie would just beat the hell out of them!

Peter Vexnor:: I don't think that's the case anymore! I think Genocide is dead!

(Valyk is up and banging his shoulder against the weakened part of the cage. Each shoulder hit causes him to scream out in pain. With one, final burst of energy, Valyk bursts through the cage. He keeps running until he hits the ring barrier. He is smoking, literally.)

Curtis Green: Your Winner and New EWA Television Champion.... Valykerie!!!

Shaden Rose:: Mine eyes have seen the damage that men can do to one another.

(EMTs that stayed ring side this entire time rush the ring, through the hole, through the door, and everything. 25 men with extinguishers rush in, spraying every part of the cage they can reach. Ladders are erected to get to the top of the cage to put it out. EMTs try to help Valyk, but he pushes them off. His eyes are severely dilated and red. He stumbles to the announcers' table. The heat can almost be felt on you, the home viewer. Valykerie looks Lance Righteous in the eyes, more than likely not even recognizing who he is. Valyk's hair is matted from the sweat. Sweat is practically pouring off of his body. He snatches the headset off of Lance's head. 

Valykerie: (Speaking to no one in particular) I hope (Gulping down hard and letting out a whimper of pain) this… has been a lesson to you. Anyone… I…. I'll fight anyone fair and square. But… to… if… if you need… (Valyk screams in pain as an EMT tries to pull him back) IF YOU FEEL THE NEED TO CONCEAL YOURSELF, TO BE A CHICKEN, I OWE YOU NO RESPECT, QUARTER, OR FAIRNESS! ANY OF THE WOLFGANG WANTS TO FACE ME… I'M OKAY WITH THAT… BUT ENOUGH OF THIS CLOAK AND DAGGER SHIT!

(Valykerie weakly raises his fist into the air.)

Valykerie: (Sapped of all strength and probably sanity) Was the match good?

(With that, Valykerie passes out, falling back into the arms of tons of EMTs.)

Peter Vexnor:: Um… here is a commercial for the upcoming EWA events while we get all of this sorted out and the second Cell lowered!

Dustin Larson:: (Before getting cut off by the commercial) I'm Dustin Larson, for Shaden and Peter…. That was one hell of a match. Enjoy the rest of the show!

*** Commercial Intermission Break ***

Curtis Green: Ladies and Gentlemen, This next match is scheduled for one fall, it is a Hardcore Heaven Cellar and for the first ever EWA Hardcore Champion. Weighing in first at 272 pounds, Johnny Critical!

("Kashmir" by Led Zeppelin plays loudly over the intercom system and Johnny Critical makes his way to the ring side. He slides in just as the Heaven Cell is brought down over the ring. He then sits in the ring waiting for his competitors.)

Curtis Green: And his opponent, weighing in at 260 pounds Hunter!

(The lights flash as the PA pops.." Get the Fu*k Out" by Skid Row starts to play. He is wearing Black jeans and no shirt… He stands up there and turns around showing everyone the scar on his back that reads LUPIN also seen is a Japanese dragon tattoo that goes from his left shoulderblade to his chest..He walks to the ring and looks around. He reaches under the ring and pulls out a ladder and his black bat..)

Dave Jackson: Hey wait, Lupin took exception to Hunter getting ready before he gets out there!

Kevin Fisher: He should wait his turn!

("Stinkfist” (Skinny Puppy Remix)" by Tool starts to begins to clang over the PA system as the lights flicker with the beat. White lasers begin to dance about the arena as the song slowly begins to kick up, then when it does, black pyros erupt on the stage. Cyan strobe lights comb the crowd, before focusing on Lupin who is coming from the crowd with a ladder being dragged behind him. He slides over the guardrail, pulling the ladder and sliding it under the bottom rope with him before jumping up on the top turnbuckle and pulling the trash can in his corner down.)

Dave Jackson: Well this match was changed by Cole at the last minute which may not be a good thing.

Kevin Fisher: Yeah I heard Lupin didn’t really like the decision made by management.

Dave Jackson: Hey Look!

(El Dio runs from backstage and starts to get into the glass cage.)

*Lupin reaches in the trash can and pulls out four different spools of barbed wire and laying them down on the ring as he descends. He reaches inside and holds up an item for the crowd to see: a small landmine. Lupin slides out of the ring, bringing the trash can with him as he begins to taking out the small mines and places them all around the ring. When he does so, he takes a spool of barbed wire and begins to unroll it sloppily on one side of the ring until it's full of barbed wire laced with landmines. He repeats for the other side while the bell rings for the match to start.*

Kevin Fisher: What is he doing, that could kill a man!

Dave Jackson: Obviously no concern for safety or a sense of mind for Lupin.

Kevin Fisher: I am glad that idiot Reaper left before we started commentating for this match.

Reaper: Don’t be so quick to judge, I just went to get a drink.

Dave Jackson: Welcome back Reaper, glad to have you aboard for the match.

(Inside the ring Hunter and Lupin go at each other right away. Lupin is standing on the apron and waits for Hunter to get close trying to get him to flip over the top rope onto the newly set land mines. Hunter starts to punch Lupin, trying desperately to get Lupin to hit his own trap. Lupin then grabs Hunter like he is going for a guillotine hangman drop but instead pulls Hunter over the ring almost getting to slam onto the mines. Hunter however; managed to grab a hold of the ropes. Lupin then starts to punch Hunter and then seems to lose even more sanity and grabs Hunter. He then seems to lock in for a reverse russian legsweep and then executes it going off the apron onto the dangerous ground below. There are a few explosions and the crowd cheers.)

Reaper: Holy crap I would never have let that happen to me.

Dave Jackson: I doubt Hunter could help it.

Kevin Fisher: Besides Reaper you ain’t good enough to be in one of these matches.

Dave Jackson: My god though, look at the two of them they are already hurting themselves just to get to one another.

(Now the camera focuses on El Dio and Johnny Critical who have been doing straight wrestling for the time being. Now however, El Dio starts to climb up one of the ladders that’s in the ring. Critical gets up from a high impact move that he had done to him earlier and heads straight to the ladder. He pushes it over and El Dio catches a garbage can on his way down. El Dio ignores the impact of hitting the ground and opens up the garbage can looking for something to defend himself with. Critical looks around for a weapon of his own and sees a black bat that was brought to ringside. El Dio has found a cookie sheet size piece of glass and looks behind him. Critical is resting in the corner so El Dio runs at him. Critical who as playing opossum gets up and hits the piece of glass sending shards of it right into the face and body of El Dio.)

Kevin Fisher: I see blood!

Reaper: Smart move by Critical. You know though, if it wasn’t for Lupin I would be in this match.

(Lupin and Hunter have been going at it outside the ring for quite a while now but nothing to noticeable. Hunter sees what has happened in the ring and slide in the ring. Lupin follows him ready to fight but Hunter turns around so he is no longer facing Critical and stomps and Lupins arm. He then looks around and sees a ladder and starts to beat it into the wrist of Lupin repeatedly. Lupin is just getting mad and doesn’t seem to notice the pain. Lupin rolls out of the way of the next ladder shot and kicks it right back into the face of Hunter. Hunter backs away and then comes towards Lupin but is hit in the back with a baseball bat.)

Reaper: Hunter is being double-teamed by Lupin and Critical.

Dave Jackson: They better watch out, El Dio has a sheet of glass.

Kevin Fisher: This looks painful!

(El Dio has found another piece of glass and as Lupin and Critical punches Hunter, Dio sneaks up on Critical and smashes the glass sheet on his head. El Dio then grabs Critical and locks in a tornado DDT that lands onto the trash can that was pulled down by Lupin at the beginning of the match. Critical rolls off the garbage can in some pain. El Dio looks happy with what he did until Hunter picks him up for a Coffins Nail. He is about to execute it when Lupin comes over looking to help with the move. Lupin is about to catch El Dio with something else but Hunter throws El Dio into Lupin knocking him off balance.)

Dave Jackson: Hunter just turned down a gift offer!

Reaper: Hey I would be afraid of Lupin double-crossing me too.

(Lupin and Hunter stare down in the middle of the ring. Hunter starts hitting Lupin with straight right hands.. Lupin returns with some knife edge chops driving Hunter into the corner. Lupin Hits a standing side kick to Hunter who's head jerk backs.. Lupin grabs the ladder and sets it up on it's side Lupin to the other side of the ring runs and jumps coming off the ladder leg to the head of Hunter who catches him and slams on top of the ladder.. Hunter pulling Lupin up by his braids takes him to the corner and places him backwards on the top turn buckle. Hunter climbs up and places Lupin across his shoulders.. Looking at the roof Lupin starts to yell and flail around but Hunter keeps is balance while moving to the second turnbuckle.. Hunter spins 90 degrees and comes off with a "Coffin Nail" (inverted DVD) from the second turnbuckle.. Lupin lays there as his body begins to convulse.. and then starts to get to hit feet.)

Reaper: That was defiantly impressive by Hunter, but Lupin doesn’t even seem to be fazed for very long.

Dave Jackson: What is going on in the ring, its plain…

Kevin Fisher: Carnage!

(El Dio gets up and starts to kick and punch at Hunter. El Dio then grabs Hunter for a single arm DDT. Dio uses this time to climb to the third garbage can. He opens it up and dumps out all of the contents… Thumbtacks.)

Dave Jackson: My god, what's in the last garbage can, hopefully a lot, I mean these guys are using weapons like there is no tomorrow!

Reaper: I know that thumbtacks are not fun to be in.

Kevin Fisher: The thumbtacks take up a good fourth of the ring!

(El Dio looks very excited at the sight of all the thumbtacks. He goes over to Hunter and drags him over to where the tacks are. El Dio sets up for a vertical suplex that will hit Hunter into the tacks but can’t lift him. Lupin comes over and goes to help Hunter out. They both try to lift El Dio up now and get him to land on the tacks. Critical however has a different plan and grabs the ladder and as El Dio is 180 degrees in the air Critical rushes towards Lupin and Hunter with the ladder forcing them to get pushed back and fall onto the tacks, El Dio gets suplexed onto the ropes and is saved from the tacks but flips outside the ring and almost sets off some of the barbed wire. Hunter and Lupin laying on the tacks but don’t have them embedded in them because they weren’t thrown onto the tacks. Critical then starts to set up the other ladder.)

Reaper: Those two need to get up fast if they don’t want to get hurt bad.

Dave Jackson: What’s El Dio doing now!

(El Dio gets in the ring and stands on the ladder causing Lupin and Hunter to try and push him off of them. Meanwhile Critical is climbing to the top of the ladder. El Dio does another foot stomp on the ladder trying to get it to stay on Hunter and Lupin. They manage to push El Dio off the Ladder and as they are about to get out from under the ladder Critical comes off the top rope for an insane splash driving the ladder into Hunter and Lupin and then they get pushed into the tacks. The crowd is going wild as all three of the wrestlers are in pain.)

Kevin Jackson: My god what a sacrifice.

Reaper: That was just plain crazy, but I am happy to see Hunter and Lupin the ones trapped beneath the ladder.

(The crowd is waiting for more but El Dio climbs over to Lupin and pins him)1... 2... Kickout!

Dave Jackson: Lupin kicks out!

(Lupin gets picked up by the hair and El Dio looks like he is going to powerbomb Lupin. Lupin lets himself get in the powerbomb position which gets El Dio suspicious and stops the powerbomb and lets Lupin stand up. Lupin then smiles at El Dio and hits a Reverse Juvidriver onto the tacks. El Dio is in some major pain and Lupin makes the cover) 1... 2... Kickout!

Reaper: I will say that Juvidriver is one of the best I have seen in a while, I just wish I could be out there going for the Hardcore title.

(Lupin gets up and Hunter and Critical are fighting as well. Lupin grabs Johnny from behind and throws him into the turnbuckle. Hunter grabs the black bat that has been hanging around and hits Lupin from behind in the arm. Lupin looks like he is starting to favor the arm a little but turns around quickly. Lupin kicks Hunter in the stomach and throws Hunter into Critical. Critical locks in a Russian Chokeslam on Hunter. Hunter is struggling to stop it and as that happens Lupin sets up a ladder. Critical lifts Hunter up and Lupin grabs Hunters head for a reverse Wyrm Slicer (Diamond Cutter) onto the ladder. The crowd gets even ladder and Lupin and Critical go for the pin at the same time. They start to bicker and then stand up and start to exchange punches.)

Reaper: This match is one hell of a hardcore battle, but its sad that Lupin got Hunter in it, I really feel I could be doing a better job out there.

Kevin Fisher: What have you ever accomplished in the hardcore field.

Reaper: A lot actually.

Dave Jackson: Now what!

(Critical is getting hit by Lupin hard now but Lupin backs up until he touches the ropes. Lupin then gets hit hard in the jaw and falls back. Critical whips Lupin into the turnbuckle and runs over to it running and shoulder thrusts Lupin. Critical then starts to set up a superplex on Lupin. As Lupin is about to be lifted he plants his feet on the turnbuckle and instead pulls Critical over the top of the turnbuckle and sends him to the barbed wire below.)

Reaper: What a counter!

Kevin Fisher: That wire is probably stuck in Critical’s back!

(Lupin turns around now to jump off the turnbuckle but is hit with a bat from behind by El Dio which sends Lupin over the turnbuckle. Lupin manages to catch the apron on his way down so he just starts to step over the turnbuckle. El Dio follows Lupin out there and Lupin grabs El Dio and forces him to the side of the glass cage. El Dio looks surprised as his head and chin are taped to the cage with ducktape. Lupin then slides in the ring and sets up a ladder so it is facing right at El Dio. As Lupin is about to do a baseball slide kick to the ladder which would shoot it into EL Dio’s face El Dio rips off the ducktape and ducks. Lupin can’t stop the baseball slide kick so it hits against the glass wall weakening it.)

Dave Jackson: These guys better be careful or they might collapse the cage!

Reaper: That would be cool…

(Lupin is mad about this and heads to the outside of the ring. El Dio has picked up the baseball bat again now and swings it at Lupin. Lupin dodges to the side and El Dio swings again, Lupin once again ducks and this time the bat connects with the wall cracking it. El Dio just swings it again and Lupin Rolls out of the way and this hit brings down part of the wall. El Dio looks shocked as the glass tumbles down. Lupin then starts to punch El Dio and forces him outside of the cage. Lupin then does a flapjack to El Dio.)

Kevin Fisher: Look Critical is pulling barbed wire out of his back!

(Critical is now getting up and is pulling out the barbed wire. He is a lot of pain and is brought to the center of the ring by Hunter. Hunter then starts to punch Critical over and over again and then the crowd goes crazy as Hunter starts to lock in The Ultimate Destruction. Hunter manages to run with Critical and then executes the move. The crowd is very loud)

Reaper: What a powerful maneuver, Critical is now the man to pin.

Dave Jackson: This match could be a lot different if Critical didn’t jump off the ladder and hurt himself.

Reaper: It’s a wrestling risk and I applaud him for taking it, although I wouldn’t have gotten hurt if I did it.

(Outside the cage El Dio has been backing away from an enraged Lupin. Lupin just turns around and goes back into the cage, he seems to not and try to fight Hunter or Critical and just grabs a ladder. Lupin also grabs some barbed wire and starts to head to the outside of the ring. Hunter follows him. Lupin is assaulted from both Hunter and El Dio. Lupin drops the ladder and grabs wraps the barbed wire around El Dio’s neck. El Dio then panics, not wanting to be killed, and backs away from Hunter an Lupin. El Dio pulls the barbed wire off with only a few nicks and cuts along his hands and shoulders.)

Kevin Fisher: Lupin could have just killed El Dio!

Dave Jackson: This match is almost too much.

(Hunter and Lupin are exchanging punched back and forth. Lupin then hooks Hunter up and executes a Tiger Suplex which lands on the ladder. Hunter gets
up holding his back. He bends over and picks up the ladder and sets it up. Lupin looks confused but heads over to Hunter. El Dio hits Lupin from behind and Lupin stumbles in to the ladder. Hunter then slams the ladder shut on Lupin’s arm. Lupin looks pissed and does a huge lariat on Hunter, which makes him, flip in the air. Lupin then grabs El Dio and does an exploder suplex that lays out El Dio. Lupin then resets up the Ladder and starts to climb to the top. As he gets to the top of it Critical shows some life and crawls out of the cage and to where El Dio is. Lupin is about to jump off but El Dio is pulled out of the way by Critical a little to early. Lupin then jumps down to his feet and starts to punch Lupin.)

Reaper: All four wrestlers are heading back into the ring.

(As all four wrestlers get into the ring they all starts punching each other. Its just a lot of carnage and destruction. Finally El Dio goes over to the last garbage can and opens it. Are three glass sheets that are big enough to cover a table. This gives Critical an idea. He goes out of the ring and slides in two tables. While this is going on Lupin and Hunter are exchanging punches. Lupin then grabs Hunter and sends him into the necessary position for an Reverse Emerald Fusion and executes it hard onto one of the three sheets of glass, this busts Hunter wide open.)

Reaper: My god, these men have to be running out of gas with all that we have seen.

Kevin Fisher: Sweet more blood!

(Hunter is totally out of it and as Lupin covers him El Dio immediately breaks the count, Critical meanwhile, is setting up the tables and slides a piece of glass onto each one. El Dio then walks over to where Critical is and then starts to battle him back. El Dio then starts for the Crucifixion and Lupin comes over for the assist. Only as Lupin gets over there he Superkicks El Dio and then Locks up for a suplex that Johnny Critical helps with. After the devastating move Lupin takes one of the tables and double stakes them. So it has glass, then table, then glass again, then table, then ground. Lupin then drags the tables very carefully over to where they are over-top the tacks.)

Dave Jackson: God bless the man that goes through those tables!

Reaper: My god, and think if it wasn’t for Lupin and Hunter screwing me over I would be in this match. 

(Hunter gets up slowly and sees the tower of glass and wood and smiles. Lupin grabs Critical and starts to punch him back and fourth. Critical then gets knocked down and rolls out of the ring. Lupin follows accordingly and starts to drag Critical over to where the last few land mines are.)

Kevin Fisher: Look, look at what El Dio and Hunter are doing!

(Hunter and Dio are climbing to the tope of the ladder. Meanwhile Lupin is sitting outside the ring getting ready to do a very high impact move to Critical onto the land mines but Critical elbows Lupin in the side and hits a Russian Chokeslam on Lupin out of now where. This causes a couple of small explosions that drive the crowd nuts. Lupin and Critical roll on the ground burnt and in pain.)

Reaper: Nice…

Dave Jackson: Holy @*%@ These guys are brunt to a crisp and look at what Hunter and El Dio are doing!

Kevin Fisher: NO!

(El Dio is trying to get Hunter to be suplexed over the ladder and through the tower of damage but Hunter is resisting well. Then Hunter lifts up Hunter for a suplex of his own but then slams El Dio down and out causing the ladder to fall over and Hunter to fall off and hit his head on the rope and it to snap back and he rolls into the tacks. El Dio gets thrown completely through every layer of the stake and then hits the tacks. Critical and Lupin are both out of it outside the ring but the crowd is going crazy as the sound of cracking wood and shattering glass echoes.)

Dave Jackson: This could be the end!

Reaper: If Hunter can crawl onto El Dio this match will be over!

(Hunter crawls inch by inch and finally drops his arm and slides it under El
Dio, Hunter flips EL Dio over and collapses on top of him. Referee Jose Sanchez makes the count.) 1... 2... 3!

Curtis Green: Your winner and the First Hardcore Champion of the EWA.... HUNTER!!

Curtis Green: Ladies and Gentlemen, our next match is the Gauntlet Match for the Cruiserweight Title! Introducing first from... 

*Before Curtis Green can finish the introduction, Kia Storm cause walking out the back and slides into the ring.* 

Kevin Fisher: And I thought I was impatient. 

*Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. Count down to the change in life that's soon to come Your life has just begun…. Are you ready…. Are you ready for us to come?….. Just then “Are you ready?" by Creed begins to blast over the P.A. system. As the crowd begins to cheer simultaneously, from the back emerges "Sassy" Summer Kensington, dressed in a very revealing black leather jumpsuit. She struts out onto the ramp flaunting her ASS-etts with every graceful stride. Summer turns facing the entrance way and she pulls out a microphone from her back pocket. Her painted on look seems to be Popular with the men in the crowd, her silky blonde hair, shines in the arena lights, she has on a pair of designer RAYBANS on as she carries "Ole' Lusty" over her right shoulder.* 

Summer: Cut MY music..........*music slowly dies down as crowd begins to BOO.* Now I am here to inform all you slackers out there, that tonight The ‘True’ Champion of the EWA has arrived and he will walk out of this arena tonight still EWA Cruiserweight Champion, that man is none other than the "Franchise" Johnny Hawke...  

*Suddenly enormous showers of pyros blast into the sky as Johnny Hawke is dressed in a pair of blue jeans and taped fists comes out from behind the curtain. We hear a lot of booing as he appears. The lights in the arena reflect off of his ever-present designer Oakleys as he steps to Summer on the ramp. Summer smiles as Hawke's music plays and he steps to the ramp. Summer bends to the front of Hawke taking her hands and rubbing from his ankles to his chest and stands with her hands out showing him off to the crowd. Then, she takes him by the arm and leads Hawke to the ring. The pyros climax and the music stops. Summer remains at ringside watching Hawke enter the ring through the ropes. Hawke walks in past Kia Storm not losing eye contact, as the ref circles around the ring, and calls for the bell.* 

Dave Jackson: Well, we’re under way and what the…Kia Storm is waving to someone in the crowd while Sassy has grabbed the ringbell and slid it into Johnny Hawke. 

Kevin Fisher: Sassy’s on the apron, and referee Shawn Padgett is telling her to get down… 

*CLANG!* 

Kevin Fisher: And Hawke col-cocked Kia Storm with the ring bell! He slides it out of the ring and goes for the pin. Jesus! That’s one down already! 

Curtis Green: THE WINNER AND ADVANCING IN THE GAUNTLET: “THE FRANCHISE” JOHNNY HAWKE! 

Curtis Green: Coming down next, Rocco Mandullii! 

*"Love For an Italian" by Smash Gauge starts to play as Rocco strolls down the ramp in new attire: a T-shirt with I Love Chicago on it and a pair of shorts. Rocco smiles as he waves Italian style with the flick of his hand from his chin. The camera shows Crystal in the front roaw four seats from the announcers’ table.* 

Kevin Fisher: Hey there sweet thang. 

*Crystal blows a kiss to Kevin.* 

Kevin Fisher: Woo doggie! Did you see that? 

Dave Jackson: No, but I saw Johnny Hawke execute a beautiful dropkick to the back of Rocco. I’m telling you, he’s got one of the best dropkicks in the business. 

*Hawke grabs Rocco and goes for an Irish whip, but Rocco reverses it and whips Hawke instead. Before Hawke hits the ropes though, he goes down in a handspring and uses the ropes to propel him with a back elbow. Rocco had followed Hawke in though, and jumped over the elbow with a bulldog. Rocco leans against the ropes and waits for Hawke to stand up before coming in with a clothesline. Hawke ducks the clothesline and leans backwards, catching Rocco with a Hangman’s neckbreaker. Hawke does a little showboating before going up top, and gets crotched as Rocco lunges and shakes the ropes. Rocco goes up, signaling for a top-rope DDT. He connects with it and stands up, flicking his hands from his chin to the crowd. The referee is trying to shake Johnny Hawke awake, not noticing “Sassy” Summer Kensington on the top rope behind Rocco. Rocco turns around, and Sassy hits a 360 vertical splash. She bounces up and down on Rocco’s face much to the male fans’ delight before rolling out of the ring.* 

Kevin Filler: That lucky bastard! 

Dave Jackson: Took the words right out of my mouth. 

*Shawn Padgett turns around and dives down on Rocco to check on him. Sassy is still at work, pulling a table out from underneath the ring and setting it up. Johnny Hawke is up now, and Sassy slides him a chair after pulling Rocco out onto the table. Sassy gets up on the apron again and distracts the referee as Hawke stands up and picks up the chair. He takes a quick run and springboards off the top rope and puts Rocco through the table with an Arabian Facebuster. Both men lie still for a few until Hawke gets up and rolls Rocco into the ring. Rocco ups and boots Hawke in the gut upon entry and gives the sign for Kiss of Death. He hoists Hawke up, but Johnny slides behind him and executes a set of rolling German suplexes before ending it with a Dragon suplex. He holds it down, and the referee gets a 2-count before Rocco just barely kicks out.* 

Dave Jackson: Rocco Mandullii will not quit! He’s taken some insane punishment after dishing it out, and he’s not staying down. Johnny Hawke is looking frustrated now, and he scoops up Rocco. Corporate Plunge! 

Kevin Fisher: And here comes the Ladder of Superstardom. Johnny hooks the leg, and 2 down, 1 to go! 

Curtis Green: THE WINNER AND ADVANCING TO THE FINAL ROUND OF THE GAUNTLET: “THE FRANCHISE” JOHNNY HAWKE! 

Curtis Green: Ladies and Gentlemen, the next and final opponent! He measures at 5’11” and weighs in at 229 lbs, John “The Beast” Steele! 

*”Phat Planet” plays as scenes of previous Beast matches play. A bright flash of pyros comes up as John Steele comes out to loud cheers from the crowd. He immediately grabs Hawke’s ankles and pulls him to the outside. He hits Hawke with a forearm chop, followed by a European uppercut, and nails Hawke with a DDT. The Beast pulls Hawke up to his feet by the hair and begins to march him around the ring, slinging him into the apron and the guardrail. Hawke gets a quick breath and whips John Steele down near the announcer’s table into the guardrail. Hawke comes in with a rolling clothesline, but Steele drop toe holds him into the guardrail. Hawke clutches his throat as Steele pulls him up onto the announcers’ table before getting up there himself. He hooks Hawke, and hits a belly-to-back suplex off of the announcers’ table and into the crowd on the cement.* 

Dave Jackson: Good Lord in Heaven! John “The Beast” Steele is being just that tonight, a beast! He’s been going at Hawke like a man possessed, and Johnny has to be tired from his previous two bouts. I think that belly-to-back suplex off our table though took the fight out of both men for the time being. 

Kevin Fisher: I almost got kicked in the face on that one. They best be glad I wasn’t hit. I’d have to start droppin bows otherwise. 

*Steele is up first, adjusting the steel cast across his forearm which would explain why he’s using it to chop. He pulls Hawke up and sits on the guardrail waiting for Hawke. As soon as Hawke stands up, Beast turns and grabs him with a headscissors that drags Hawke across the announcers’ table into the ring apron. Beast stands up, still a bit shakened from the belly-to-back suplex earlier, and rolls Hawke into the ring. He gets himself up on the ring apron and waits for Hawke to stand before slingshotting with a cross-body block. Hawke catches him however, and executes a fall away slam. Steele stands up, and Hawke attempts a jumping leg lariat that Steele catches into an ankle lock. Hawke is instantly in the ropes, and the hold breaks. Hawke stands up, using the ropes for support and Steele puts him in a full nelson from behind. Hawke swings a leg back and low blows Beast before turning around and hitting two snap suplexes and ending it with a front suplex. He goes for the pin, but Beast kicks out at 2.* 

Dave Jackson: It looks like The Franchise is finally back on the offense. It looked like The Beast was going to take him out. 

Kevin Fisher: Hey, if I ask, do you think Sassy would bounce on my face like she did Rocco’s? 

*Hawke thumbs his nose to the crowd and goes for a hurracanrana, but he trips during the jump. John Steele is all over the mistake and executes a powerbomb spinebuster. Beast goes up top and awaits Hawke and dives off with a flying clothesline. Hawke however, reverses it into the Heel Brake. Steele is in the ropes though, and Hawke let’s go. Steele runs in with an attempt at a hurracanrana of his own, but Hawke steps forward and hits an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. Steele lands on his feet though, and comes in at Hawke who attempts the Sweet Kiss Goodnight. Steele ducks that, and comes at Hawke again who scoops him up for what could be a St. Croix Driver. Beast attempts to slide off Hawke’s back, but Hawke is one step ahead and converts the move into the Texasbreaker before falling back over Steele…1, 2, 3.* 

Curtis Green: THE WINNER AND STILL EWA CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION: “THE FRANCHISE” JOHNNY HAWKE 

*Sassy is quick to pull Hawke out of the ring before Beast recovers. He sees Sassy helping Hawke up the rampway, already on the stage and disappearing behind the curtain. Steele takes off like a bat out of Hell after them.*

Curtis Green: Ladies and Gentlemen, we have come to our main event...for the United Stated Heavyweight and World Heavyweight Championships! The match is scheduled for 1 fall per title in a triple threat cage match with a 60-minute time limit. Introducing first, the United States Heavyweight Champion...Shadoooooowflare! 

*“Sun” By Live hits the intercom and the crowd seems to be very anxious to see him just so they can find a place to put there now empty beer cups and popcorn bags. Shadowflare is not only bombarded garbage but by very loud continuous booing. Shadowflare comes to the ramp way wearing his black warm-up pants and no shirt. His U.S. Title is draped over his right shoulder and he seems to be ducking a lot of the trash. Bruce Garrett makes his way out after Shadowflare, as Shadowflare sees him he turns around and points to the back until Bruce walks back to the dressing room. As soon as Bruce goes through the entrance curtain Shadowflare turns around and makes his way to ringside where he is escorted by the referee to the door of the cage and is placed inside. Shadowflare hands the referee his title and then sits in the ring jumping up and down just a few inches off the ground waiting for the match to begin.* 

Dave Jackson: I hate that guy. 

Kevin Fisher: You would, hippy. 

Curtis Green: Next, the defending World Heavyweight Champion. He stands at 6'0" and weighs in at 234 lbs...accompanied by ANJEL, Maluuuuum Diabooooooooluuuuuuuus! 

*The lights go out as a maniacal laughter is heard. "Am I Evil" by Metallica starts to play as a spinning pentagram is displayed on the big screen. Malum Diabolus walks out holding his Championship belt. Malum's chest glints with body oil as ANJEL comes out behind him. He puts one hand on his chest and claws down in, not cutting him, but just for dramatic effect. Some of the crowd is booing, but the majority is cheering, just because they're so excited. Malum eyes the crowd evilly, getting a few more boos from the crowd. He is all the way down to the ring when the lyrics "Am I evil? Yes I am!" play and "Malum Diabolus" appears over the spinning pentagram. Malum then slowly enters the cage laughing at his opponent.* 

Dave Jackson: Our defending champion might have some difficulty with Shadowflare. Shadow has a 4" height advantage, and outweighs Malum by 18 pounds. He might have it easier with Monotinous Death who is next to come out. 

Curtis Green: And finally, standing at 6'4" tall and weighing in at 225 lbs...Monotinoooooouuuuus Death!

*"Seattle Was A Riot" by Anti-Flag starts to play as the fans in the MCI Center cheer the only face in this match. MD comes out, his green bangs glinting in the red lights that strobe across the arena. Pyros shoot of from the top of the ramp way, then a foot in front of the pyros that just show, and so forth until the pyros reach the bottom of the ramp way. Kelsey, dressed in a form-fitting, green dress that makes you want to reach into the TV and... well, never mind. The two make their way down to the ring just as the song reaches it's high point. MD starts running down to the ring.* 

Dave Jackson: And the action is underway! 

Kevin Jackson: Monotinous Death bulrushes to the ring and slides inside before the bell sounds. They're shutting that cage door, and this is gonna be a whole lot of fun! 

*MD stands up and barely ducks a clothesline from Shadowflare who is first to meet him. With the momentum he has, MD catches Malum on his heels with a superkick. Shadowflare comes back again with a clothesline, and MD ducks it again, causing Shadowflare to level Malum with the clothesline. Shadowflare's arm is grabbed from behind by MD, who wrenches it behind his back and screams "I'M NOT GOING TO TOUCH YOU! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TOUCH ME!" MD kicks Shadowflare in the butt, sending him tripping over Malum, through the ropes, to the outside, and rolling into the cage. Shadowflare begins to pull himself up using the cage.* 

Kevin Fisher: Uh...right...I don't get it. 

Dave Jackson: You and me both. Hey, I wonder why Malum is wearing rubber gloves. 

*Dave's question is answered as ANJEL and Cerebrus hook up two jumper cables to the cage which are attached to a car battery they pulled out from underneath the ring. Shadowflare screams in surprise and pain as sparks fly from his hands and he shoots backwards into the side of the ring. Malum is back up to his feet, and he clotheslines MD from behind. Malum slaps MD in an armbar and cranks back, causing MD to slap the mat in pain, but not submission. MD is pulled to his feet by Malum, who still has the armbar on and uses it to hit a short-arm clothesline before dropping an elbow to the sternum. The referee, Frankie Johnson, makes the 2-count but Malum gets up and suddenly rushes at Shadowflare who was resting in the corner. Shadowflare, who was caught off guard, still reacts quickly enough to roundhouse kick Malum in the back as he sidestepped. Shadowflare checks to make sure MD is still down before slamming Malum's head into the turnbuckle. Shadowflare then bends Malum backwards before connecting with a diving reverse DDT. 2 count, then Malum gets a foot in the ropes.* 

Dave Johnson: It appears that Malum is the main target. Neither Shadowflare nor Monotinous Death want him to keep that World Heavyweight Title. 

Kevin Fisher: Poor Monotinous Death is trying to convince himself that Shadowflare won't turn on him I guess. We all know that Shadow's a great guy, so of course he's gonna make MD eat the mat a couple of times for being a dumbass! 

*Shadowflare kicks Malum several times in the ribs, causing Malum to roll to the outside before Shadowflare himself follows. He begins to stomp away at Malum's midsection before putting his boot against Malum's throat and choking him. Malum responds with a low blow and then DDTs Shadowflare into the steel steps. Malum stands up and throws Shadowflare into the electrified cage, causing Shadowflare to shoot back into the side of the ring again. MD has been poised inside the ring, and he sees his chance to connect with a suicide dive that knocks Malum into the electric cage. Malum however, turns around and grabs the cage with his hands to keep himself from being shocked.* 

Kevin Fisher: That sneaky Malum has got himself those rubber gloves to keep from getting shocked by the cage. I like that, smart stuff. 

Dave Jackson: More like cheap stuff, but Monotinous Death makes sure Malum Diabolus gets a shock to his system anyways by dropkicking him in the back of the head! 

*Malum's face zaps off the cage, and Monotinous Death pulls Malum to his feet. Shadowflare is up as well, and MD hits a jumping side kick on Malum. Malum falls backwards into Shadowflare's arms, who hits the Head-Lock Powerbomb right on the outside of the ring. MD climbs up onto the ring apron, yells for Shadowflare to get out of the way, and hits a big splash from off the ring apron when Shadowflare complies. Shadowflare begins to help Monotinous Death up, before delivering a Russian Legsweep right into the electric cage. MD screams as he is zapped and rolls into the side of the ring. Shadowflare begins to go over to Malum and pulls him up, but Malum suddenly delivers a spinebuster that puts Shadowflare into the electric cage. Shadowflare's body jerks before he goes down, and Malum quickly rolls Shadowflare into the ring.* 

Dave Jackson: You were right about Shadowflare, and I bet Monotinous Death wishes that he wanted to fight him right now. Malum Diabolus though is showing outstanding stamina by continuing after these two have double-teamed him since the beginning of the match. 

Kevin Fisher: What can I say, I know these things. Though right now, Shadowflare probably wishes he had waited a second to turn on Monotinous Death so they could finish off Malum. Malum looks like he's ready to finish off Shadowflare though. 

*Malum picks up Shadowflare in a cobra clutch, and begins to spin around in circles before slamming Shadowflare down. Malum immediately dives on Shadowflare with a choke hold, holding it until Shadowflare is blue in the face and kicks Malum between the legs out of desperation. Malum rolls to the side, as MD climbs the top rope after recovering outside the ring. MD attempts to moonsault Malum, but Shadowflare is right in front of him and out of reflex catches MD with a huge powerslam into the turnbuckle. MD hangs upside down as Shadowflare begins to throw some shoulders, and then a variety of punches to the abdomen, chest, and face. Out of blind desperation, MD unhooks his feet, wraps his legs around Shadowflare's head, and delivers a head scissors into the middle turnbuckle. He begins to stand up, dizzy from the flurry Shadowflare had unleashed, and turns right into the Finger of Death from Malum. MD's arms flail as he begins to tap out, Frankie Johnson signaling for the bell.* 

Curtis Green: THE NEW UNITED STATES CHAMPION BY SUBMISSION: MALUM DIABOLUS! 

Kevin Fisher: And I bet MD wish he had waited til Shadowflare stopped instead of trying to fight back. One move, and now he's tapping out. Lot of bad wishes here tonight. 

Dave Jackson: Malum isn't letting go of the hold, and Shadowflare is pulling himself up after that pretty cool headscissors by MD into the turnbuckle. 

*Shadowflare hear's Curtis Green announce that Malum is the new champion, and goes red with rage. He see's Malum mercilessly keeping the Finger of Death applied, and shoots up to the top turnbuckle before coming off with a missile dropkick to the side of Malum's head. Shadowflare, grinding his teeth in anger, pulls up Malum and judo flips him. Malum bounces back up though, and turns right around into a headlock takeover from Shadowflare. Malum is up again, but Shadowflare pulls him down with a jumping armbar takedown. He yells at MD to get up, and MD responds by hitting an Asai Moonsault from off the bottom rope to Malum's arm. Shadowflare releases it and kicks Malum over to MD before going to the corner to rest. MD hits a jawbreaker on Malum before jumping back up with a frakensteiner. He holds the pin, as Shadowflare watches on, just to see Malum kick out at 2.* 

Dave Jackson: We've got one title down, one title to go, and that title to go is the big tamale of the EWA, the World Heavyweight Title. Malum could walk out of here a double champion, Shadowflare could replace his lost U.S. Championship with a World Title, or Monotinous Death could take himself home a strap of gold. 

Kevin Fisher: At the rate Shadowflare and Monotinous Death have been going at Malum Diabolus, I doubt he'll take that World Title with him. Shadowflare seems to have the odds in his favour. He's been taking his time to recuperate everytime Malum and MD go at it, and MD is too much of a pussy to hit him. 

Dave Jackson: Fisher! 

Kevin Fisher: What? I'm on PPV. I can say those kinds of things. 

*Monotinous Death calls for Shadowflare, who walks over and picks up Malum's feet while MD holds his neck across the top rope. MD, standing on the ring apron, jumps up and delivers a Rocker Dropper that guillotines Monotinous Death across the top rope and allows Shadowflare to swing it up into a German suplex. Malum kicks out at 2 though, and MD is waiting for him to get up. He connects with a belly-to-belly brainbuster and he himself goes for the pin. Malum still kicks out, and gives MD a thumb to the throat. Shadowflare comes in with a standing side kick, but Malum saw it coming and dodged before putting a knuckle right into Shadowflare's temple. Malum picks Shadowflare back up and attempts for a spinning neckbreaker, but MD snuck in between them and picked up Malum and connected with a torture rack suplex.* 

Dave Jackson: Torture Rack Suplex! You know what's next? The Boring End! 

Kevin Fisher: Not just any kind of boring end, Shadowflare's telling Monotinous Death to hold on a minute, and he's getting a table from underneath the ring! 

Dave Jackson: Monotinous Death takes the table as Shadowflare slides it in, and sets it up. Is Shadowflare going to let Monotinous Death walk out of here with the World Title? 

*Shadowflare tells MD to go up top while he rolls Malum onto the table. Shadowflare stands against the ropes as Monontinous Death jumps off with The Boring End, and just as he comes down Shadowflare bounces off the ropes and grabs MD's head in a bulldog! MD puts Malum through the table with The Boring End, and Shadowflare puts MD through it at the same time with the bulldog.* 

Dave Jackson: Treachery! 

Kevin Fisher: What I tell you? My man Shadowflare has it all covered! 

*Shadowflare grabs MD by the hair and pulls him towards the center of the ring before looking at the booing crowd. He sticks MD's head between his legs, give the crowd two middle fingers, and delivers the Panic Attack dead-smack in the ring. He makes the cover, and Frankie Johnson makes the count...1, 2, 3.* 

Curtis Green: THE NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION VIA PINFALL: SHADOWFLARE! 

Dave Jackson: I can't believe this! Monotinous Death was robbed! 

Kevin Fisher: You mean Monotinous Death was a jackass! Why wouldn't you do anything to one man in a triple threat match? Yeesh. Hey, what's that? 

*"Heartbreaker" by Led Zepplin blares over the PA. The screen shows up as on the Extreme-a-tron, the Damage Inc. Logo appears. We see Piper throw a European uppercut, Hammer pull out the black "Flesh Hammer" on the Brooks Sisters, Harrison fall off of a cage into a pile of thumbtacks, and Sonny "Fly Guy" Reynolds do the "Mothership Connection" off of the top rope onto an unknown victim. Piper grabs a mic as he steps out from behind the curtain with the rest of the crew.* 

Piper: I'm glad that snooze fest is over... I felt the ratings slipping as I watched from the back! *laughing, passes the mic to Hellraiser.* 

Hellraiser: Monotinous Death, Shadowflare, and whoever the hell the world champion is, I get tired even saying your damn names. 

Flesh Hammer: SUCK IT you JACKIES!!!LOLOLOWOWOWOWOW! Damage Inc is bringin' the hammer down on all you SCROPPERS! 

*Damage Inc charges the ring, Hammer and Piper sliding in to pick up MD. They hit him with a Hart Attack clothesline, then scoop him back up to nail The Tooth Chipper. Harrison faces Shadowflare, as Rocco Mandullii comes out from under the ring behind Hellraiser. Harrison takes a drink from a white squeeze bottle he has with him and lights a Zippo. He fakes a blow at Shadowflare's face, and instead turns around to blow it right into Rocco's. Rocco drops the chair he had brought in with him and goes down rolling in pain. Shadowflare tries to come in at Harrison, but Harrison turns around to catch him with the Last Call. Sonny is on the top rope, and nails the Mothership Connection 450 Splash on the still Malum. All of them begin to jeer at the men in the ring before grabbing the World Title and play a quick game of Rock, Paper, Scissors to see who gets it. Sonny "Fly Guy" Reynolds wins it, takes the World Title, and all the men leave.* 

Dave Jackson: What the hell was that all about!? Damage Inc just came in here and obliviated all the men involved with the match! ANJEL and Cerebrus are bringing Malum about while Bruce is trying to shake awake Shadowflare and Rocco! Kelsey is shaking Monotinous Death, and Damage Inc is walking away with the World Title! Someone stop them! 

Kevin Fisher: Why? Nobody cares about the World Title, there's no heat to it anymore. 

Dave Jackson: What do you think just happened!? 

Kevin Fisher: That Damage Inc just got on a lot of people's bad sides. 

*The scene fades out, with Damage Inc standing at the stage with Sonny Reynolds on their shoulders, who is holding up the World Title.*