I flung myself onto my bed and sobbed into my pillow. It wasn't fair. Was I not good enough for anyone? Do I get that boring? I felt like I was hollow inside, I kept crying and crying, but I didn't feel anything, but a hollow pain.
Like I said, I knew Brian would come looking for me. I was right. He came pounding at my door. I could hear him.
"Julia, let me in! It wasn't what you think. Just let me talk to you!" Brian called.
I stood up and walked closer to the door. "Just go away." I managed to stutter.
"Julia, I love you more than anything. Don't let me lose you." Brian said, he sounded a little choked up. I slid down the door and put my head up against it.
"You're making this harder than this really is. I never want to see you again. Just get out of my life!" I shrieked.
There was a pause, "I won't leave. Not unless you really mean it."
"I mean it!" I assured.
"Then say it to my face. If you can't do that, you don't mean it." Brian whispered, through the door.
I opened the door and he stood there, his eyes watery. I wiped away a tear and began to tell him to his face. I glanced around, and I saw a crowd had gathered, staring at us curiously.
"Brian, I... I... why did you have to do this to me? Just go. You're killing me inside. Okay?"
"You said you never wanted to see me again. Tell me that! Look me in the eyes and tell me that. When you do, I'll leave." Brian said.
I took a deep breath and stepped back, "I never want to see..." I couldn't do it. He was right, I didn't mean it. I couldn't take it anymore. Part of me wanted to just fall into his arms, and be safe. The other part of me, the hurt part of me, wanted to slam the door in his face. The hurt conquered, and I locked the door. I heard Brian slide down the door to the floor.
I rushed to the window seat and sat down there, looking over the whole city(we were really high up. Like 16th floor.) and cried. I was startled by a sound of heavy breathing outside my open window. The cold air rushed in and I leaned out the window. Brian was standing on the edge, clinging to the side of the building.
"What are you doing? You're crazy!" I shouted at him. Everyone knew he was afraid of heights.
"The only thing I'm crazy about is you!" he shouted back.
I couldn't bare to see him afraid like that. I helped him in and shut my window.
"You didn't see it all. She had been coming on to me all day. And then, she kissed me and I tried to pull away. I didn't enjoy it, Julia. I didn't even want it to happen. I mean, I never liked her anyways, she's a you know what." Brian explained, "And when I saw the look in your eyes, I hated her more."
The other part of me took control and fell into his arms. He folded me up in his arms, and I felt safe.
"I love you." I whispered to him.
He tightened his clasp on me, "I love you too."
Chapter Nine
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