by Mike Diamond
As you might imagine, we feel kind of weird playing venues of this size, so we've tried a number of things to make it more intimate and less lame. And because there's 13 Ways To Get It, we figured some new type of shit so that everyone doesn't get caught out there. For one thing we figured we'd do this free 'zine to get across some much needed information to all the party peoples inside this place to be. Basically we bit the idea from Bikini Kill, who often distribute flyers at their gigs which address those issues that the band consider to be important. Our first attempt at doing something like this was in the magazine of the Lollapalooza '94 Tour, which published our page of suggested solutions to the inconsiderate and generally out-of-control post-MTV moshpit plague. Our expert illustrator Miles made it look like the safety signs you see at public pools because the message was simple: show some respect and awareness for others. We didn't (and still don't) want to come off as too didactic, which is a fancy of saying "full of shit," and that's why we tried to let the drawings do the talking. Nevertheless, we were (and still are) serious about our attempt to encourage a heightened level of genuine respect amongst everybody in order to create a safer and better environment. Why? Because it's no fucking fun to see some girl, or anyone for that matter, catch a bad one (whether it's in front of the stage or anywhere else). Everyone should be able to enjoy the show without feeling threatened, either physically or verbally. So leave the jockism, the sexism, the racism, the homophobic provincialism and all the other "isms" to henchmen like Newt Gingrinch and Rush Limblah (well, not all the "izm," but you know what we mean). Anyway, in addition to giving us an opportunity to reprint the Moshpit Ettiquite poster, this 'zine also enables us to let you know about all the other stuff that'll be going on besides and beyond our new improved Quadrophonic stage set up with Full Joystick Command in Sensuround. First and foremost, there's the opening acts, all of whom are worth checking out and all of whom are profiled in these pages by up and coming Grand Royal Assistant Media Assistant Peter Relic. Pete also has a little piece about what's really going on with the usual topics and suspects, in particular our Grand Royal record label and the second issue of Grand Royal magazine, which should be finally finished by the time you read this. Then there's a brief essay on the designated area at each show where computer nerds and curious laypeople alike can check out our on-tour World Wide Web site (which will be updated daily) and preview our forthcoming CD-ROM -- both of which are services provided by Grand Royal's resident Macintosh Mack Ian Rogers. And perhaps most importantly, there's a guide to the gang of knowledge available at the Milarepa Booth, where you can speak with Erin Potts or other volunteers and find out all about our non-profit fund that's trying to put your dollar donations to good use. Both the Computer Corner and the Milarepa Booth are part of the Carpet Compound, which is where you can go and chill when shit gets kinda hectic, and we've also brought along our own DJ to spin real records (as opposed to letting some sound guy blasting his favorite Dire Straits selections) -- again in an effort to make your experience more like a continuous sound system event and less like a Regular Ol' AOR Arena Rock Show. Not that there's anything wrong with sound guys (check the page about our loyal crew, who are constantly on or behind the scenes making sure shit runs nice and smoove). And not that there's anything wrong with a Regular Rock Show (Bob Mack's been passing out in the front row at Rush concerts for years, in preparation for this very event). Unfortunately some seats at Arena Rock Shows are necessarily more equal than others, and we sympathize with those of you up there in the Bob Uecker Seats who will have to either rock the binoculars or be content with a bird's-eye-view of Adam Yauch's grey hair. The only thing I can suggest is that you do what Dancing Harry would do and keep on rocking those new dace steps. But if you do, remember that what Ricky Powell says to all the knuckleheads in the pit goes for you too:
"Don't DIS when you could be nice."
Thanks -- Mike Diamond, Spring '95
