Carla kept her hand on Ryan’s head, smoothing the tangled hair. The wild,
uncontrolled crying had stopped, and Carla fought back a shiver as she
remembered the sound of it…she had been afraid, it was like Ryan was being
ripped up from the inside. Carla tried to sneak a look at the face on her
shoulder, her heart aching with sympathy as she saw Ryan’s eyes squeezed shut.
"I’m okay now…" Ryan whispered, her voice raw. "Thanks…thank you." She lifted
her head, patting Carla’s arm as she leaned against the side of the stall.
Carla gave her a small smile and shrugged. "That’s what friends are for,
right? Besides, none of the guys can get in here anyway."
Ryan laughed. "Good thing, too. I doubt they would know what to do with a
crying female firefighter." Looking into Carla’s eyes, Ryan smiled. "You
know, you really did a good job back there…I was really impressed."
Carla blushed, embarrassed, and shook her head. "I didn’t do anything-"
"Neither did I." Ryan interrupted softly.
"Ryan," Carla shook her head, "You kept him alive."
Ryan could feel the tears threaten to overcome her again. "Barely…he was in
so much pain…and...he crashed on the way here..."
Carla looked away for a moment. She had promised Bell that she wouldn’t say
anything…she had promised, but what was a promise now? Ryan needed to know.
"Ryan," Carla paused and took a deep breath, "at the scene, after Bell woke
up, when you went to talk to Durfee…"
"Yeah?"
"Well, I…what I mean is, Bell and I were talking…I think it made him feel a
little better and…I…I…"
Ryan sat up a little straighter. "What?"
Carla looked at her. "Well, I asked him to tell me more about his first day
on the job, tried to keep him talking, and he said…he said he fell in love
with you the moment he met you…" She paused again. "And I think…I mean, just
the way he looks at you sometimes, I think…I think he’s still in love with
you…I think he has been for a long time…and I want to know…" Carla’s voice
became more quiet. "I know you love Bell, we all love him, he’s a great guy,
but…are you in love with him?"
Ryan stared at her. She had always known…somewhere, deep inside, she had
known Bell loved her. When he first got to the station, and she was training
him, she had convinced herself that it was just a crush, that he couldn’t
possibly feel like that…not really. The mutual flirtation that they had kept
up through their years working together was just that…just flirtation and
nothing more, wasn’t it?
No, it wasn’t. Ryan turned her head and covered her mouth, realizing it had
been much, much more. And she knew it…she had always known…Bell was in love
with her, and she…she was in love with him, too. The tears began again as she
nodded to Carla.
"Oh, god…god, Kathleen, I’m so sorry." Carla murmured, her arms reaching out
to hug Ryan once more. Ryan cried silently, the tears hotter and more bitter
than before, and she covered her eyes, trying to shield them from seeing
Michael’s face, pale and bloody, in front of her.
****
Wick wandered the hall in the lobby of the hospital. People passed by him in
a blur, and he couldn’t remember how long he had been pacing back and forth,
his boots shuffling on the floor. Sighing, he rubbed his hands over his tired
eyes. He looked at his watch. Tired, he thought with a laugh, how can I be
tired? It’s not even noon yet.
He was startled as someone slapped him lightly on the back.
"Hey, Wick, how’re you doing?" Megan said, walking past him to the duty desk.
When she got no response, she turned around. Wick was staring at her.
Confused, she gave him a little smile and raised her eyebrows. "Rough day?"
Wick blinked. She had obviously just come on shift and didn’t know what had
happened. He had to tell her…she was Bell’s girlfriend. "Yeah, pretty rough
day. Megan," he took a deep breath. "I…I have some bad news, and…maybe you
should sit down." He pulled over a chair, and she sat down. Wick kneeled in
front of her.
"Megan, there was an accident…" He paused, unsure of how to go on.
"Yeah, well, Wick, that’s usually why people come here," she said with a
smile and moved to get up. She had been late to work, and she really didn’t
have time for joking around.
Wick grabbed her hand, guiding her back down to the seat, his expression
somber. "No, Megan, I’m serious…there was an accident this morning…and Bell
was hurt."
Megan shifted, her eyes searching his. No joke. "Oh my gosh…how bad?"
"They took him up to surgery about a half-hour ago…they’re…they’re…" Wick
swallowed and looked at the floor. "They’re not sure if he’s gonna make it."
"God, Wick," she said softly, "I’m so sorry."
"What?" Wick responded, surprised.
Megan laid her hand on his shoulder. "I know you two are good friends…I’m
really sorry, Wick."
Wick opened his mouth, unable to speak for a moment. She was sorry for him?
Her man was in surgery, fighting for his life, and she was sorry for him?
What the hell was going on here? "I…I don’t understand here, Megan…I
thought…you and Bell were…you know…an item? Dating? At least?"
Megan watched him, comprehension dawning on her face. "No…I mean, we were for
a little bit, but…we broke up a while ago, Wick. I thought Bell would have
told you."
Wick shook his head. "When?"
Megan shrugged. She knew when, of course, and why, but to say it made her
sound a little cruel. "About 6 weeks ago, things got a little…complicated.
Someone I was involved with a long time ago moved to L.A., and I…we…then
Michael’s father got sick, and he…I don’t know…we didn’t mesh anymore." She
trailed off with another shrug.
Wick slowly stood up. So, Wick thought, Bell and Megan begin to have
problems. Then, Bell’s father has a heart attack and a stroke, Megan starts
to see this "someone", Bell and Megan break up, the incident at the chemical
plant happens, I open my big mouth and blame him for leaving me and Ryan in
the plant, we all pretend to make up and move on, but we don’t, not really,
and Bell is left alone to deal with…everything.
"Great, just great…" he muttered.
Megan stood up. "Well, I didn’t mean to…I mean…oh, c’mon, Wick, Michael and I
were never going to have a real relationship. Not when we’re both in love
with other people."
Wick looked at her again. "What?"
Megan paused. Wick honestly had no idea what she was talking about. And she
had thought it had always been so clear…to everybody. "Wick, I-"
"Yeah, I get it. You’re in love with your ‘someone.’ Good, good for you-"
Wick interrupted.
"No, Wick," Megan said firmly, "I mean, yes, I’m in love with him, but Bell…"
Megan looked at Wick and sighed. "Don’t you ever see the way he looks at
Ryan? It’s so obvious, Wick, it’s like-"
"Are you kidding me?" Wick held up his hands. "Bell and Ryan?"
Megan shook her head. "Think about it, Wick." She walked back to the duty
desk.
Wick wandered upstairs to the surgical waiting room. Most of the ’77 was
sprawled out on the couches and chairs, filling the small room. Durfee was in
the corner, his back to the door, talking quietly with a well-dressed younger
man and an older woman. Bell’s brother and mother, Wick realized. He let out
a heavy sigh and moved to sit next to Bridges.
The older man nodded at him. His eyes, usually jovial, were now sober and
dark. "Hey, Wickster, how you doin’?"
Wick swallowed, folding his hands together. "Bridges, you’ve been here a
while…"
"Yeah." Bridges said, his voice short. He loved his job, loved fighting
fires, saving people, masterminding station house jokes…but he hated this…he
hated waiting.
Wick lifted his eyes to look at him. "Bell and Ryan?" he asked in a whisper.
Bridges turned his head and nodded again. "Clear as daylight, son."
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