Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"

Ask the passengers if they saw that movie where the elevator cable broke.

Examine the inspection certificate and say, "1978? Aren't these things supposed to be inspected every year?"

Whistle the first ten notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

Shave your legs.

When the elevator goes up announce in a loud voice, "Going down!"

When the elevator goes down announce in a loud voice, "Going up!"

Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask, "Got enough air in there?"

Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

Grasp a paper bag by the neck, and occasionally ask, "Anyone here afraid of snakes?"

When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

Bring your golf clubs and start practicing. Don't forget to shout, "FORE!"

Do Tai Chi exercises.

Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I've got new socks on!"

Hold a box wrapped in plain brown paper and mutter over and over, "Think they can fire me, do they? Well, are they in for a surprise."

When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"

Meow occasionally.

Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.

Holler, "Chutes away!", whenever the elevator descends.

Go into a fit of coughing, and then ask, "Has everyone had their shots?"

Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce, "You're one of THEM!", and move to the far corner of the elevator.

Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.

Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.

Start to sneeze, pull a handkerchief out of your pocket, allowing a small test tube full of water that was in it to drop and roll around on the floor. Then scream, "Oh, my God No! Don't step on it! The bacteria is deadly!" If it smashes, claw your way out of the elevator at the first stop.

When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"

Play the harmonica.

Say, "Ding!", at each floor.

Lean against the button panel.

Say, "I wonder what all these do?", and push the red buttons.

Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

Ask the person next to you if the police have caught the "Elevator Murderer" yet?

Bring a chair along.

Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.

If the elevator has a telephone, pick it up and ask the operator to connect you with Cleveland.

Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.

Say to the elevator in a loud voice, "Take me to Engineering."

Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting larger."

If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler, "Bad touch!"

Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."