I tiptoed into the room. Maggie was laying on her side of the bed wearing boxers and one of my old t-shirts. I knew she wasn't asleep, even though she wanted me to think she was. I took off my shoes, then went to the bathroom to wash my face. When I finished I dabbed at my face with a towel and then stared at my reflection in the mirror. 'What are you going to tell her, Brian? Huh? Maggie's the love of your life and you just cheated on her like a compete idiot. And like you convinced her you would never do.' What had I done? Maggie was the love of my life. Or was LeighAnne? I was almost sure I wanted Maggie, but being with LeighAnne again had just confused me. I didn't know what to do. Or who to choose. Leigh and I had decided to keep what had happened in the studio between us. I told her I missed her a lot, and that I would always love her. I even said that maybe if things didn't work out with Maggie, we should try getting back together or something. Why did I do that? How could I do this to Maggie and LeighAnne? I had no intentions of ending it with Maggie, not even now. But now my stupidity and letting my words slip just to make LeighAnne happy probably got her hopes up. Yep, I'm officially screwed. I started to feel a sick feeling developing in the pit of my stomach, a feeling that told me I was doing the wrong thing, and I knew it. I needed to tell Maggie what had happened.
I opened the bathroom door and looked out. She was still "asleep." She looked so beautiful just lying there, even though I knew she was angry with me. She knew I was out with LeighAnne. She had every right to be worried. Her worst fear had come true, and she probably already knew it. I knew that as she lay there, with her hair spread out over the pillow and her eyes shut tight, that she was praying she could trust me. That it was all in her mind.
I couldn't go in there now and confirm it. I just couldn't. Not tonight.
I turned off the bathroom light and crawled into bed next to Maggie. I reached out to touch her face and felt an instant surge of guilt charge through me. She was so beautiful, so wonderful, and words couldn't describe how awful I felt holding her against me, only an hour after I'd kissed LeighAnne.
"Hey," she whispered.
"Hey," I replied just as softly. I knew what was next.
"You're back late."
"Yeah, we talked some stuff over at dinner and then decided to go try some stuff out in the studio. Sorry it took so long, I guess I wasn't paying much attention to the time," I explained in between yawns.
"Why didn't you call?" I asked quietly. 'Damn. Here it comes.' I sat up to face her, pretending to be annoyed that she didn't trust me.
"Maggie, I'm sorry, okay? It's not like this has happened before. It just bothers you more this time because I was with Leighanne. For the last time, don't worry about her, okay?" It was a good excuse, I knew. I had been out late like this before in the studio. But I still felt horrible. She had every right not to trust me. I had betrayed her.
"Okay, good night," she whispered. I knew she was hurt. I couldn't blame her. I had cheated on her, and then I come home and act like a jerk just so I can pull off a lie about cheating on her. I was beginning to hate myself. The sick feeling started to come back. Except now it was because I knew that she knew. I could see it in the tears that slowly made their way down her cold face.
