"Why not? I'm sure they're really cheap now since their album's at No. 389 on the Billboard Top 100," Brian said laughing. I was trying to piece together some possible talent to call for the soundtrack, and Brian was in one of his giddy moods or something, and was therefore no help. But all that really mattered was that I was with him and we were having fun.
"Well I don't believe you have much room to brag Bri, after all whose album was it that sold 2 million copies the first week? It wasn't Backstreet, I know that much," I shot back. He stopped laughing.
"OK, OK, so maybe your little ex-boyfriends' CD did a little better than ours. Big deal. We're in it for the music, you know, not the numbers. And I might remind you that they didn't win any Grammys either!"
"Well that's a relief. If the BSB aren't getting awards, no one should." I said, as I fiddled with some of the switches on the soundboard.
"Hey now, we've won a fair share of awards you know, and besides awards don't matter to us. It's our love for music and the fans that keeps us going."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what all the losers say," I laughed.
"Really? Is that what they all say?" Brian asked me playfully as he moved a little closer to me so our faces were barely inches apart.
"Um yeah," I managed to reply before Brian's mouth overtook mine. We kissed for about 5 seconds, before I broke away, saying, "Look, Brian, I don't know if-" but was interrupted by his lips. 'Whatever, to hell with right and wrong,' I thought, as I eagerly returned Brian's kisses. I felt slightly bad about what we were doing, for some reason, but it felt so good, and so familiar I just didn't care. He put one hand behind my back and slowly pulled me off the chair I had been sitting on and onto the floor, laying me on my back. The kisses trailed from my lips down to my neck and collarbone, then back to my lips again, while my hands played with his hair and caressed his neck and face.
This continued for about 15 minutes, and then everything stopped. I sat up and looked at Brian. I didn't even have to say anything, before he said, "Sorry. I-I don't know what came over me," he said looking at me quickly then looking away.
"Was it just, like, getting caught up in the moment or something?" I asked timidly, trying to move the conversation along but afraid of him saying it had been a mistake.
"No," he said slowly, rubbing his hand through his hair, "it's more than that," he said finally looking me in the eyes. "When you came back, I figured nothing would happen. We both had different lives now, we've moved on, and I just assumed the connection we had had fizzled too. But when I saw you again and talked to you for the first time in God knows how long,, I began to miss you so much. I felt the connection resurfacing. I missed being with you, missed laughing with you, missed kissing you..." he trailed off, then looked away again.
"I missed you too," I told him, taking his hand in mine. "That's why I came back." He looked at me quickly. "Have you ever thought about, I don't know, maybe getting back-"
"Getting back together?" I nodded. "Yeah I have, especially tonight." I quickly stopped from exhaling a huge sigh of relief and happiness.
"Really?" I asked.
"Yeah, but I'm still dating someone. Maggie." His eyes widened and he quickly dropped my hand like it was poisonous. "Oh, God, Maggie! What'd I do? She's gonna freak when I tell her about this! She trusted me and now..." He trailed off, putting his head in his hands and stared at the floor. What felt like five hours passed as I sat there watching Brian's face as he analyzed the threads in the carpet. Finally, I spoke up.
"Don't tell her. It'll be much easier that way. If you tell her about this, everything's ruined. Including this soundtrack because it'll be regarded as a product of a scandal or something. If what just happened stays a secret between you and me, everything will be fine. We can just forget it ever happened." I looked at him, searching for some kind of sign. Still staring at the floor
"Leigh, I don't know. That's so risky. I mean, if she ever did find out, then I'm ruined because I lied to her. Everything I have with Maggie would be gone. Possibly even forever." I realized I was losing. I had to act fast.
"But Brian, were those two years with her for real? Do y'all have the same connection we have? Is it really love? Or is it just a desperate rebound that lasted longer because you can't be alone?" Once again, I wanted to slap myself. 'Way to go, genius. Now you've pissed him off.' Brian looked at me, the soft glow in his eyes replaced by an icy, steely glare.
"I am very capable of being alone, Leighanne. Don't get ahead of yourself. You don't know anything about me and Maggie's relationship, and the connection we had- I mean, have. It's not the same as ours was. It's different, but it's love. I wouldn't stay with someone two years if all they were was a "desperate rebound." Rebound from what, anyway? You and your boob job?" Now it was my turn to glare.
"OK, Brian Littrell, that was too much. Maybe I was out of line trying to analyze you and little Maggie's relationship, but you have no right to throw that insult back in my face. You and I both know Hollywood's standards and 32AA just wasn't gonna cut it. I might get more work with a 36C now, and that might say a lot about you men and your shallow standards, but it's not my fault. So leave these-" I said while I pointed to my enhanced chest, "Out of it!" I picked myself up off the carpet and grabbed my purse. "We can just work on this dumb soundtrack later. I've had enough tonight. Just forget about all this. I didn't mean any of it anyway." With that I turned around, heading for the door. I had to leave. I can only take so many empty lies in one night anyway. I couldn't believe this. Everything had been so perfect, and now the night's events had taken a complete 180. My hand had barely brushed the doorknob when I felt a strong hand on my shoulder. I turned around, tears from wounded pride welling up in my eyes, to face Brian. His face depicted regret and forgiveness and maybe something else that I was afraid to recognize right away.
"I don't want to forget about this."
