DISCLAIMER Gen-X is the property of Marvel Comics. This is a work of Fan fiction and is not intended to infringe on any copyrights held by Marvel Comics and/or Marvel entertainment group. Any original characters that appear in this story are the property of the author.

Part 1

It is a gloomy day; dark clouds hang in an angry sky. The tall grass of the uncut field ripples in the wind like a sea of golden-green. The same wind that seems to blow gently through the grass has caused oak trees, decades old, to bow their branches low to the ground. The leaves of the trees rustle and whisper of the coming storm, thunder rumbles in the distance, and somewhere far away, lighting streaks through the sky.

A small rectangular corner of the field, near an ancient church building, has been mowed and well maintained. Scattered about are small gray tombstones. This place is a cemetery, though entirely unlike any cemetery you are likely to come across. There are only a few graves, really, the names of some of the worlds greatest heroes are etched in stone here. Well, except for one.

One sight alone is bereft of an ornate monument. This marker simply reads: "Here lies Mondo. The size of his heart was exceeded only by the size of his stomach." Two bright tropical potted plants rest on either side of the stone, and it seems as though any moment they will be blown away. Eight figures are huddled around the grave in a loose semi-circle. They are Generation X, and they are mourning ... no, wait, I mean, they are saying goodbye to their team mate, Mondo.

Jubilation Lee sniffles loudly as she drops a hibiscus flower to the grave. The wind snatches it away before it even reaches the ground; soon the brilliant red flower is gone. Her lower lip quivers before she turns and hides her face in her hands. "We ..." she pauses, "We never even knew his name!"

Everett Thomas wraps an arm around her, comforting her. He thinks that it is odd; Jubilee and Mondo never really hit it off, but she is the only one crying for him. Frankly, he's glad Mondo's gone. I mean, Everett thinks. They guy never participated in a fight, or saved anyone, or helped out in any way. He ate four times his weight and well, he was just generally plain annoying.

"Well," says Angelo. "He's in the ground now. Can we go?"

"Yeah, I'm hungry," adds Paige.

Monet looks and says quietly "Return of the Jedi opened today; if we hurry we can grab some food and catch the movie."

"Really?" Jubilee asks, her former grief forgotten. "I love that movie!"

("I 'aven't seen it before,") Jonothon Starsmore comments telepathically.

"Well that settles it!" exclaims Jubilation, "You have to see it! Can we go, Frosty?"

Emma Frost crosses her arms over her chest. "I suppose," she says at last. The group breaks into chorus, cheering their favorite teacher (well, for the moment). Emma looks at them harshly. "Children, please. This is a cemetery."

Jubilee puts her hand over her mouth, "Oops! My bad, I forgot." She then glances at her other teacher, Sean Cassidy. His head is bent down and tears stream down his face. Oh, poor, guy, she thinks. This was probably real hard on him.

Sean Cassidy's tears, however, are not shed for Mondo. How could this 'ave happen!? he thinks. I'll *never* be able to pay for that casket! I had to special order th' thing, Mondo was so big!

Emma puts her arm around Sean, and they walk to the white limo as their students race ahead of them.

"Shot gun!" calls Angelo.

("Not on yer life,") Jono protests, ("Oh, whoops,") he adds ("I didn't mean any disrespect ter th' dead.) Generation X climbs into the limo while Sean and Emma get inside a different one. She telepathically tells Bumpkin, the driver of the other limousine, to take the children to Cheungs Chinese Express, and then to the theater. She tells her driver to return to the school.

As the limo pulls away from the cemetery, Emma speaks up. "Well. It's funny, I guess. When I first lost my Hellions, I was devastated. But here, one of my students gets knocked off and I don't really care. I think I must be growing more uncaring as I gain experience."

Sean shook his head, "I think Mondo was just a fat idiot."

Emma rested her hand on her chin. "Now you do have a point, Cassidy. He was unteachable, unlovable, shallow, stupid, fat ... " she waved her hand in the air. "Well, you get the point. But we do have a problem, Sean, we have to tell his family. And we don't even know who they are!"

"Oh ye shouldn't worry yuir pretty head over such things. Western Samoa is only four little islands. It's just a matter o' findin' out which one he was from. It'll be a nice trip fer the kids. A we bit o' culture for 'em."

Emma rolled her eyes. "Sean, those kids don't need culture. They are culture. Jono's British, Monet is Algerian, Angelo is Hispanic, Penance is Yugoslavian, Paige is a hick, Jubilee is a Valley Girl, and Everett is American. You're Irish, I'm a snob, what more culture could they need?"

Silence. "Yuir right. But I really want to get out o' th' states ... besides, Western Samoa is warm and tropical and has lots of handsome men is skirts ..."

"Not skirts, lava-lavas."

"Well, ye know what I mean. It seems like just th' place for ye." Emma pondered the thought for a moment. "Alright. Let's go! We can inform the children tomorrow before class."

"Excellent!"

"Alright class. Class. Class! Settle down. Alright. Now. In light of Mondo's recent death, we will be having a brief unit of geography focusing on Western Samoa."

"How brief, Frosty?"

"Ten seconds worth. But that's not the point. Now, take notes, this will be quick. Western Samoa is located in the South Pacific, about 48000 miles southwest of San Francisco. It's capital is Apia, which incidentally is it's only city. There are roughly eight major roads in W. Samoa--"

"Eight?!"

"Eight. And the official language is Samoan. Most Samoans do not use money. Ok. That was our lesson. The point of this? We're going to be taking a trip to Samoa to inform Mondo's family of his death. So, pack your bags, we leave in an hour."

Part 2

Ah, ha! A chapter two! And you all thought I could stop ... To Hell With the Handkerchief, or Don't Cry For Me Western Samoa, 2/? by Me, monet@uky.campuscwix.net (ignore any Lee-Ann jokes ya see ... )

When the plane from Frost Enterprises landed at Samoa's airport, Polyneasian Air, a native guide waited for the group. Sean and Emma stepped out of the airplane and greeted him.

"Hello! Ye must be," Sean glanced at a scap of paper, "Bupo'ea'gahrgan'tuan'obsd." Well, that's how it was spelled. What Sean actually said sounded like the soundtrack to a cow mutilation. His thick accent and sonic scream did not help the pronunciation to go any smoother.

"Yes tis my title. Though you, kind sir, may calleth me Gargantuan." The Samoan was anything but gargantuan. At anyrate, Gargantuan didn't offer a smile or any hint of pleasantness. "Let us get thou going on the mission which thou hast undertaken."

By now, the students had toppled out of the plane and stood squinting in the sun.

"So," Paige began, "do most Sam-o-ans speak like Shakespear?"

"Tis the way I hast learned th' language."

"Prb'ioa bdfil'qeh abijw'dg bi'foaeh'io?" Jubilee asked, consulting a thick book that she pulled from her purse.

"Nay," began Gargantuan, "my lady mother worest not ‘army boots'."

Jubilee laughed out loud. "It worked!" she screeched.

"What in heck is that?" Angelo asked snatching the book from her. "What a piece of junk!" And with that he hurled the book behind him. A small splashing noise ensued.

"Angelo Lee-Ann Espinosa! Do you know how hard it is to find a English-Samoan/Samoan- English dictionary?!"

"Lee-Anne?"

"I'll ~never~ find another one of those!"

Jubilee and Angelo continued to squabble and Emma gestured for Gargantuan to lead the way.

After an hour of walking hut to hut looking for Mondo's family, the gang began to feel a little discouraged. Well, so discoureged isn't the right word. A more correct word would be "bored".

"Cheer up, lads and lasses," Sean called over his shoulder to the trudging teenagers behind him. "Just two more huts and well be finished with this road!"

("Great,") Jonothan sent. ("One down, seven ter go.")

Soon, Gargantuan paused and pointed to a shabby hut that sat back a few yards from the dirt packed road. "This tis the last manor we shall visit this day."

Emma placed her hands on her hips and looked the small Samoan in the eyes, "But I see several more houses on beyond this one. It is ~very~ important that we find Mondo's family."

Gargantuan shook his head. "Tis the bad end of the village."

Angelo perked up. "Really? I would ~love~ to see some Samoan ghetto."

"This tis as far as I shall accompany the lot of ye. Gladly will I take this group anywhere in Samoa, but not into the bowls of hell that have surfaced themselves in that piece of country." Gargantuan crossed his skinny arms across his bare chest.

"Alright, alright," Paige mumbled. "Let's get going. I'll ask the people at this house about Blubber-Boy ... c'mon, Jubilee."

Still wrining out her water soaked Samoan/English Dictionary, Jubilee grumbled something and stopped off after Paige. The two girls followed a crushed seashell path to the house. Paige was about to knock when Jubilee said:

"It's a hide, Paige. It won't knock, trust me."

Hand poised in mid air, Paige contempated this, then let her hand fall to her side. "Oh. Ah reckon yoah raht." She looked about for any signs of life, then called out "Hello!?" She turned to ask Jubilee something, but the younger girl was feverently looking through her dictionary. Paige sighed to herself.

The hide flap parted to one side by a dark hand, revealing a short thin man in his late forties. "Yes?" he asked curtly.

Jubilee thrust the dictionary in the mans face. "Have you read this book?" she demanded.

The man's eyes widened and he slung the hide down, the equivolent of slamming a door, except instead of a loud bang that sometimes scared people away, all that could be heard was the soft swishing of the hide flap. They heard the man's voice clearly.

"Honey! It's those damned Jehovahs Witnesses again!"

Paige sighed in exasperation. "Let's just skip this one."

Jubilee nodded in agreement and the two returned to Emma to report their lack of success.

"Well," Emma began, "let's just go to the hotel and start fresh in the morning."

"Hotel?" Gargantuan asked, surprised.

"Yes, hotel." Emma said condescendingly. "I was specifically told we would be staying with the best accomodations the island had to offer."

"Oh," Gargantuan nodded, "'tis a slight miscommunication--"

He didn't have the chance to finish, for he was inturrupted by a, "Hey cuys! Check this out!"

Generation X collectively raised their heads to see Angelo standing in the distance waving his hand in the air to draw their attention. He was surrounded by a group of thin boys wearing pitch black lava-lava's. Everett, Jono, Paige and Jubilee ran to see what he wanted while Emma remained behind with Sean and Gargantuan to work out an accomodations agreement.

"What is it, Ange?" Ev asked when he reached his friend.

Angelo wore a goofy grin and stated, "The guys here are ~just~ now getting the music and dance styles of the late 80's and early 90's! Watch this! Ok," Angelo turned to one of the lanky Samoans, "Go!"

The boy began to convulse, his arms flailing and feet twitching in an unnatural rythem. Paige gapsed and nearly fell back while Ev looked as though he were going to be sick.

"The Rodger Rabbit!" Jubilation exclaimed as she began to snap her body into the weird beat of the dance.

Jonothon, having avoided the entire Rodger Rabbit experience in England was the only one unaffected by the ghastly sight. He grabbed his younger friend by the shoulders and shook her sharply. ("Jubilee!")

"Huh?" she murmered, "Oh. Sorry." Blushing fiercely she stilled herself and listed to Angelo recite the forgotten fads of the times.

He seemed fascinated by the long dead trends, "And slap bracelets! They're just now getting slap bracelets! And that guy over there? His favorite musical artist is MC Hammer!" At that point Angelo fell into the hopeless state of nostalgia. "Can't touch this!" He began to dance ‘The Hammer' and chanted "Doo doo doo doot, do doot, do doot, can't touch this!"

"I'm going to be sick," Monet murmered as she joined the group.

Ev added, "Now I see why Gargantuan said this was the bad end of the village."