i don't think that anyone ever thinks about me, 
that anyone really cares about me.
i doubt that someone sits alone and wonders how i'm doing.
in the dark before sweet sleep, or in their head when they wake up.

no, i don't think so. because they all off tryign to fulfill all of their own sick desires.
there are not many people out there who actually care about others without beign partially self-interest. forced "community service" is because barely anyoen woudl do it otherwise.  i'd bet that if these kids were given the option of goign to school and learning and working, or just being given large sums of money, and allowed to do drugs sex and all that shit without consequences, there would be no contest.  people in this country are horrid eveil little beings, the entire country is based on the self-interest of the branches of government.  we are conditioned from the very beginning to be and think a certain way. the materialsim, superiority, violence, sex, drugs. we are basically told to rebel as teenagers from the moment we can conceive rebellion.  we yell out "Class of 2003! we're the best!"... didn't the do the same for 2002? for 1992? 1922? does this mean that every class after us is a bunch of sick pathetic loosers? oh i really think so! i think our class is the culmination of everythign good to ever happen in the world. we're just so damn cool. 
	and where the fuck did this concept of "cool" come from? oh sorry, i meant to say "tight" no? "rad"?, "bitchin"? i'm sorry i'm not using the currently used word, i'm a littel out of the loop. what is this? sports kids go to the best colleges with the best acedemic programs? that doesn't make sence.  the girl who is notorious for cheating, and getting caught, gets into ivy league, while the good kids are doomed to state institutions.  or, the rich kids? the ones with that little jump-start on life. you  know them, the guys all wear pants that when bought new look like they've been worn for 3 years.. "pre-faded" on the legs and butt. they drive BMW's to school, which puts almost all the teacher's cars to shame. and "street race" them what a good concept! you've been given an opportunity to drive a nice car, to wear nice clothes, there are homeless families begging for food money, tryign to get warm clothes for themselves.  and you recklessly drive an expensive car as fast as you can.. just askign to crash, or be caught by those "fucking pigs". i mean, why the hell is a cop gonna pick on a nice, innocent, smart highschooler like yourslef? fuck if i know... and the guys who don't have it quite as good... yeah, but still pretty well. they can also listen to the same rap as you, but their cars are honda civics or somethign of the sort. and you've planted a big-assed spoiler on the trunk. and maybe bought shiny new rims, and gotten it lowered to the ground, or "ground effects" to ... make it look sportier and lower to the ground? does this make you feel better? does it give you a bigger penis? more attractive to girls? why is money attractive? are cool clothes and cars sexy?
	...yeah. and the girls have it well too. first of all, you must wear skin-tight pants that stretch to fit you just perfectly. and then, of course.. you must wear the cute little thongs you found at victoria's secret.  and the abercrombie and fitch look goes great for both you and the guys! you can look cool, relaxed, laid back, and as hippy as you want for the small hundreds of dollars you pay per outfit. you definatle ycan't be fat, or no guys will talk to you, even the fat ugly ones who you ignore! yes, a bad pimple will be the downfall of your life, and you will die old, painfully, and withotu anyone lovign you.  i mean, it's not liek all your friendships and relationships aren't disgustingly shallow in the first place.  how many guys have you been with? sex with? blowjobs?.. ok, haha, i'm just kidding. i meant to ask "how many can you remember?"  because.. we all know about that whole drug-induced thing that happens to you poor defenseless girls.  i mean, it's not liek you... didn't want it or something. of course, i can't blame anyoen specifically, becuase you're just repondign to how you've been raised in our sick society.. right? it's all completely out of your hands, may as well not fight it.   wait! you're all going to die eventually, that's out of your hands too!! (even though you're goign to be young forever.) maybe you shoudl all just commit suicide now?... yeah.. great idea! you think that you're in love, that he;s the greatest ever... why did i always think that love was independent of looks? funny how the guys you love are all "soooo hot" i've yet to see one of you fall in love with one of those sad, removed ugly people.  but that's okay as long as you follow the model "American Lifestyle." please go out and get a decent job, meet a husband, tall dark and handsome? who knows.. have your 2.36 children, live in suburbia-utopia. a gated community woudl be best. you already own that nice big, roomy SUV that you got for your15th or 16th birthday, you can probably get a bigger oen though.. with worse gas mileage.. and then you can saw off the muffler, and.. (club baby seals to death?) maybe a big grassy front yard, a dog, a pool woudl be nice. maybe a tennis court? you think darling? our very own tennis court?!? so your husband can go off to work and have an affair with his secretary? and your kids all do drugs..
	and what about drugs?  drugs! yes!!!! when did we not have those crazy-good things? i mean.. even our parents can't complain. (we'll come back to drugs in a second there.. just hold on) i hate to say it.. but all you kids who think you're cool and sexy, and..... this is going to last forever? sorry to be the one to break the news to you, but all the old peopel out there were just liek you were.  i see them all tryign to be cool, to fit in, to show off. i, pathetically, once belived that when i grew up, you woudl all mature, and i'd finally meet peopel that i enjoyed the company of.  yes, i said it was pathetic, because i know it isn't really true.  back when they were kids, they did all of the same things. they all went to highschool, they had their "popular groups": the blond chearleader girl, teh stud-muffin football star. the sporty cars, the defiance, the fun, the same life. they snuck out of houses, had sex, drank beer, smoked pot, and experimented with all other kinds of stuff. and, look! they're all still alive and kicking, so you should definately go out and do it too! they can't really critisize you for what you're doing because that would be hypocritical. plus, they all think that you're all darling littel angels anyways.... angels don't do anythign bad at all, she has a boyfriend, they just hold hands, and the parties are just games like clue and scrabble. no drugs anywhere aroudn your angels...
	so yeah, drugs are around i guess. (understatement?)... ands you all do them why? because you've been told since forever that they're bad for you? that drinking and driving kills? that tobacco causes lung cancer and alot of other really bad things? marijuana impares your judgement and sence of time? SHROOMS! cool man! pass that bag around... most of you avoid heavier drugs out of complete fear... but i know you're all curious. might even try it once or twice everntually.  XTC burns holes in your brain. acid, lsd, whatever,... it sticks around in your fat cells (i know.. you're soooo fat! you'd better diet and go to the gym more often: burn off all that fat!...)(wait! isn't your brain made mostly of fat?... oh.. yeah.. i guess so...hehe, i never would have guessed).. anyways.. that stuff sticks aroudn for abotu 40 years.. and you can have flashbacks and relapses (and bears! Oh My!) and all those fun words.  you all know what drugs do.. you've been told. do you really need to find otu for yourself? and even then, how many tiems do you have to do it until you get it? ....Or maybe you do it because it makes you feel good? it helps you have fun, relax, livein the moment? you mean escape from the evils and perils of the world? terrorist attacks? holes in the ozone layer? (not from your cars of course...) how hard school is? (it's only free.. yeah seriously, what a bitch!! who ever thought of school? it sucks!). you can all throw big parties out in the country, away from cops, and neighbors, and make sure the parents are out for the weekend.  make sure you have kegs, and lots of peopel dealing, and ... make sure peopel sleep over (not sleeping.... duh) and you'll all go hoem thinking, "Hot damn! what a gee-golly great party that was, err, must have been, since i can't remember most of it."
	oh, pul-ease! don't bitch about how hard your life is, how unfair your parents are. how boring old people are, how stupid your teachers are. you've all got it good. fucking americans! i just don't knwo what to do with you all. i mean... all the things i hate.. they run the country! our president is just like you: he did cocaine, he drank lots of beer, he bought his way into ivy league colleges (well, his parents paid...), he partied, slacked off, all that jazz. i bet he cheated often, slept around, told dumb jokes, well.. you get the idea. 

	*proud trumpet and drum music*(.. you know.. all army like.. and american.)

	"Each and every one of you has the possibility of becoming a future president of the world.. *ahem* I meant of the *corny dramatic pause* United States of America!  ..and Alaska. You too can completely disregard the rest of the democratic countries in the world. Shrug off envionmental pacts, peace treaies, and agreed world-policies.  You too can shun and humiliate, and suppress those who stand against you in your war to get rid of the evil man who, across the globe, also supresses views which oppose his." 
 
	Oh god.. i've only started! I DON'T BELIVE IN GOD. did god make gay people? or were they just a slip-up? you know the whole .. "god is on our side"... hence.. no one elses?!? wait.. did god make the bad people who are against us? did god make planes crash into the world trade center? or was that a slip-up too? did god make the holocaust and the world wars? the vietnam war? jesus? flowers? the korean war? the roman empire and it's downfall? sunshine? abortions? pearl harbor? the movies clueless, XXX, and the hot chic? is god torturing somalians and over-populating india? starving chinese? .. are these all slip-ups? accidents? how about american becoming so damn powerful? ....is that just another bad accident too?

 
(i hope so)
(oh yeah.. maybe you being born was an accident? ask your parents..)
(was me writing this not supposed to happen?.. oops! my fingers slipped on the keyboard... silly me, how thoughtless.)