“He’s gonna be the best man at Kevin and Alexia’s wedding. I’m the maid of honor, we’re bound to end up talking. And I don’t know how I’m gonna make it without telling him how I feel.”

“So maybe you should.”

“We’re best friends. I can’t ruin our friendship.”

“What if it makes it stronger?”

“I don’t know…. Thanks Carson, you’ve been great.”

“Anything for a friend.”

Bonnie promised that she’d keep in touch and anytime she was in New York, she’d come visit.

The next day, she went home. Her flight arrived late and she went directly home so she could sleep. It was the week before the wedding, but she was still working as favors to the designer or the photographer. She didn’t have a lot of time to talk to Brian and she didn’t see him at all. She had trouble sleeping because she missed him so much.

The night before the wedding, she and Alexia had a mini-bachelorette party. They didn’t stay up as late as they usually do, but they had their own fun, watching their favorite movies. After “Top Gun” was over, Bonnie saw that Alexia was asleep. As she was turning off the light, she heard Alexia sigh and say Kevin’s name. This made her think of Brian.

Alexia and Kevin are so much in love I wish I could have that kind of relationship with Brian. But I’m afraid of ruining our friendship. But what if Carson’s right and it makes it stronger?

She fell asleep thinking about him and Alexia and Kevin’s wedding.

When she woke up, everyone was already there. They were all acting like chickens with their heads cut off. The thought made Bonnie laugh.

She did her hair and make up and did everything she could think of to help. After she was done with all that, she sat down to work on her song.

She’d been working on the song for about a month, since before her break up with her boyfriend, and before Brian and Kelly split up. The song was in her point of view for Brian. In a way, she was pouring out her soul o him, hoping that one day he’d see it. If he saw it now though, it would remind him of Kelly and it would hurt him too much.

But for some strange reason, she wanted Brian to see it so he’d know her feelings for him.

She wrote one final line and realized that it was finished. Alexia walked over to her and saw her beaming.

“I take it you’ve finished your song?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you gonna let me read it now?”

“Why not? It’s done,” she said, handing her best friend the paper.

Alexia read it over, “This is really good Bonnie. You need to show him.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not? You love him.”

Alexia was the only person that Bonnie had told of her feelings for Brian.

“I know that. But you’ve got to understand how much I fear rejection. If I tell him, I’m afraid that he’ll laugh in my face, or worse yet, he’ll make fun of me.”

“How about this for worse, what if he feels the same as you?”

“Don’t try that. You’re not doing anything but confusing me.”

“Sorry.”

“Come on girl, it’s time for you to get married.”

Bonnie hugged Alexia and they walked to the doors where Alexia joined her father. The music started and the bridesmaids started walking down the aisle. Bonnie started her journey down the aisle and glanced at Brian and quickly looked away. He didn’t notice her looking at him throughout the ceremony.

The pastor looked at Kevin and Alexia and smiled warmly, “You may now kiss the bride.”

Kevin gently kissed Alexia on the lips.

“Ladies and gentleman, allow me to be the first to announce Mr. and Mrs. Richardson.”

The crowd clapped and Kevin and Alexia made their way back down the aisle as husband and wife. Brian and Bonnie slowly made their way to the center and joined hands. They walked down the aisle without speaking or looking at each other. While they were taking pictures, Brian joked around with everyone, but was a little nervous around Bonnie.

At the reception, everyone was dancing and having fun. As a fast song ended, a familiar tune began.

Baby, it’s the way you make me,
Kinda get me go crazy,
Never wanna stop.
It’s gotta be you.

Bonnie smiled, “It’s Gotta Be You” was her favorite song. Brian had taught her to dance to that song. He offered his hand and Bonnie took it. They went to the center of the dance floor and started the routine they’d made up. Fatima watched in interest as they moved across the floor.

The song ended and Bonnie was in Brian’s arms. Fatima rushed over to them smiling.

“Who taught you that?”

“Bonnie and I made it up.”

“No way, Brian Litrell made up a dance?” she asked, putting her hand over her heart, “I think I’m gonna faint.”

“Come on Fatima, I’m not that bad.”

“I’m not saying you’re bad, I’m saying that it’s really unlikely to me that you’d make up such an awesome dance.”

Brian laughed, “Well, Bonnie’s the one who deserves most of the credit. She made up most of it.”

Bonnie got a little uncomfortable with the praise, “It wasn’t like I made it all up, you helped a lot. I need to go talk to Alexia, I’ll be right back.”

She walked away hurriedly. Her cheeks were rapidly becoming more and more flushed. She found Alexia and pulled her aside, “I’m gonna leave in a bit. I don’t know if I can handle being around Brian right now.”

“Sweetie, you’ve got to get over him or grab him and tell him how you feel.”

“I can’t do either, I’ve tried.”

“Well then you’re going to be miserable.”

“Believe me, I know. I already am.”

“It’s gonna be okay. I’m here for you, well, after my honeymoon.”

Bonnie laughed, “Have fun girl.”

“I will. I’ve always wanted to visit Ireland.”

“Me too. I’ll see you around, Kevin’s looking at me like I’ve stolen you away.”

“See you later, be sure to tell me before you leave.”

“I will, but I think that I’m gonna leave in about five minutes.”

“Okay, call me, we’re leaving on Monday.”

“I will.”

They hugged and Bonnie let Alexia join her husband. She saw Brian talking to a pretty dark-haired girl. She decided not to say bye to him. She walked over to the bar and ordered a Coke before she had to leave. She downed the Coke quickly and walked to her purse. Her song wasn’t in the pocket.

She ran to Alexia and asked where the song was.

“It should be right by your purse. Michelle looked at it.”

“It’s not in my purse.”

“I’ll go find Michelle.”

Alexia ran off to find Michelle while Bonnie looked for the song. She bumped into Brian as she was searching the floor for the song.

“Hey Bonnie, what’s up?”

“Nothing.”

“Whacha doin on the floor?”

“I’m looking for something.”

“What?”

“A piece of paper.”

“What’s on it that’s so important?”

“A song I wrote. It’s taken me a month to finish it.”

Brian picked up a piece of paper off a chair, “Is this it?”

She looked up, “Oh my God, yes it is.”

She tried to grab it from him before he could read it, but it was too late. He’d read the chorus already and was interested in it.

“I didn’t know you wrote songs Bonnie.”

“In my spare time. Can I have it now?”

“I’m reading it.”

“I don’t want you to read it.”

“What’s so wrong with this that you can’t let your best friend read it?”

“Nothing.”

“So you don’t mind if I read it?”

“No…yes.”

“Make up your mind, coz I’m about to start again and I’m on the second verse.”

“Damnit Brian. Go ahead.”

He looked at it again.

God Help Me

Can’t you see what you did to me?
I can’t eat and I can’t sleep.
God help me, I think I’m in love.

I had another dream about you last night.
You and me together forever,
What a silly fantasy.
You have her and I’m still with him.
It can never work, I know that, but…

Can’t you see what you did to me?
I can’t eat and I can’t sleep.
God help me, I think I’m on love.

I think of you every second of the day
And wonder where you are right now.
Is it Milan, Paris, or New York?
And I can’t help but wonder if she’s there with you,
Where I’m supposed to be.

Can’t you see what you’ve done to me?
I can’t eat and I can’t sleep.
God help me, I think I’m in love.

You taught me to love all those years ago
But we were too young to understand.
Now we’re all grown up,
But we’re still worlds apart.
My heart aches for you every minute of the day
I want you and need you in my life.
I can’t sleep or even think.
God help me, I know I’m in love.

Brian looked up at Bonnie, who was wringing her hands in anticipation. She knew that he’d figure out the song was about him.

“This is a beautiful song Bonnie.”

“Thanks.”

“Is it-“

She didn’t wait for him to ask the question. She took the paper from his hands and took off.

Thank God Alexia bought us sneakers so we wouldn’t have to wear the heels for the reception.

She ran out of the building and jumped in her car. Starting it up, she saw Brian running after her. She peeled out of the driveway and took off. Tears blurred her vision. She kept driving until she was sure that Brian wasn’t following her. She looked around at the familiar scenery and drove for the cliffs where she went to think. No one knew about that place, not even Alexia.

She sat down on the cliff and let the tears flow. Brian knew that she loved him now and she couldn’t face him. He only thought of her as a sister. She saw that in his eyes when he looked at her. She wiped away her tears and felt very foolish.

“I knew he’d read it if he found it. Why the hell did I take it to the wedding? I could’ve left it at Alexia’s apartment. SHIT!”

She buried her head in her hands and cried, thinking about Brian and everything they’d been through together. They’d taught each other to dance, sang together in church, they even moved to Florida together when Kevin called him that fateful day. They’d always been best friends, no matter what. The biggest fight they’d ever been in was over what movie to go see. She cried for all their memories and the ones that were lost because of this. She felt stupid, pure and simple.

“Bonnie, don’t cry,” Brian said gently.

“Brian! What are you doing here?”

“I’ve known about this place for a while. I followed you here when you and Tommy broke up. Why didn’t you ever tell me about it?”

“It was my private place. I went here when I wanted to be alone.”

“Okay… So why did you leave?”

“I knew what you were going to ask. I didn’t want you to know anything.”

“Bonnie, can I ask you now?”

“Go ahead, I’m sure you know the answer by now.”

“I was going to ask if it was too late to ask you to dance, I saw you got all your stuff together and you were gonna leave. I just wanted to dance with you.”

She laughed, “Now I feel even more stupid.”

“Don’t. I’m pretty sure I know what you think I was going to ask.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Now, may I have this dance?”

“There’s no music.”

“I can fix that,” he said, and started to sing her favorite song softly in her ear.

If I could right the wrongs that made you cry,
Could, would you promise not to say goodbye?
So I’m holding on, with a love so strong,
And I can’t take the day without you by my side.
Girl if I could change,
If I could change your mind,
Maybe you could help me wipe these tears from my eyes.
Girl don’t stop the sun from shining down on me
Cuz I can’t face another day without your smile
And if you take away the lovin arms that surround me,
Then I might break down and cry just
Like a child.

Bonnie wiped away her tears and looked up at Brian. “Thanks Bri-Bear, I needed that.”

“Hey, I’m just doing my best friend duty.”

Something I don’t want you doing anymore. “You’ve always been there for me, even when we were little and it wasn’t cool to like girls.”

“I know, Kevin always beat me up for that.”

“Maybe we should go beat him up now.”

“No way, I’m too afraid his wife might kick my ass.”

Bonnie laughed, “You could be right…”

“Hey Bonnie, I want to ask you something.”

Uh-oh, here it comes. “Sure, what’s up?”

“Was that song about me?”

Bonnie took a deep breath, “Yeah it was.”

“Then I’ve got something to say.”

He never wants to see me again. “All right.”

“Bonnie, I’ve been in love with you since we were 14.”

“What?”

“It’s true. I told Kevin about it one time and he said that I should ask you out but I was too scared. Harold called me chicken for two months.”

Bonnie was still in shock.

“Bonnie, I’m asking you now, 10 years after I fell in love with you, to go out with me.”

“Brian I don’t know what to say.”

“How about yes?”

“Okay…yes.”

Brian picked her up and spun her around. He slowly lowered her to the ground and they locked eyes. He leaned towards her and kissed her softly. She out her arms around him and held him tight, never wanting to let go.

“Hey Brian, just wait until we tell the guys about this.”

“I can’t wait, especially when I tell Kevin I finally listened to his advice.”

“Brian, what if this ruins our friendship?”

“It won’t. It’s going to make it stronger.”

They walked to their cars and climbed in. Brian’s words echoed in her brain.

“It’s going to make it stronger.”

“Thank you Carson.” Bonnie said out loud, before following Brian back to the reception.

They got out of their cars and walked back in hand in hand.

“Hey Kevin!” Brian shouted when they saw his cousin, “Guess what…”

Bonnie just smiled.

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