Raquel buried her face into her pillow in annoyance. "3 dates, Vonnie!" she said through the pillow. "What does it matter? You go out clubbing with everyone and have fun. Howie said he might call me this weekend, and I intend to be here when he does!"
Sighing heavily, Yvonne took one last look at her reflection and gave Raquel another look of disapproval before leaving her roommate alone in the dorm room. Raquel dreamily picked up the photo she and Howie had taken of themselves at the mall. It said "America's Most Wanted" on top of the picture, and underneath were a beaming, attractive couple. Even Raquel had to admit that you couldn't tell she was fat from the picture. She often wondered why Howie didn't seem to care about her weight. She felt like she was walking on eggshells….just waiting for Howie to call her and tell her it was all over.
It wasn't until 11:30 that evening that he finally called her.
"Hey stranger!" she teased.
Howie cleared his throat, "Raquel…what are you doing right now? Are you busy?"
"Hmmmm….well I was planning on washing my hair this evening," she teased, "but I think I could reschedule. Why…what's up?"
"Ok, I'm in town…I'll swing by your room in a few ok?"
"ok," Raquel said hesitantly. There was something in his voice that she didn't like.
Raquel promptly answered the soft knock on the door. Her bright smile dissolved when she saw the grave expression set in his normally warm eyes.
"Umm…would you like a seat…?" she gestured to the folded up futon at the foot of her bed. "I know it's not the Ritz…"
"Raquel, this really won't take long, sweetie," Howie looked at her. She knows what I'm going to say, he thought sadly.
"Would you like a drink?" she briskly walked over to the refrigerator and grabbed a soda, shoving the can into his hands.
"They let you drink this stuff in here?" he asked skeptically.
Raquel blushed furiously when she realized that she had handed him not a Cream Soda, but a Miller Lite. Flustered she grabbed the alcohol away from him and put it back into the refrigerator.
Howie cleared his throat again and looked into her brown eyes with his own. "I have something to tell you…"
"Hungry?" she asked desperately. She grabbed a bag of animal crackers off of the shelf and tossed them at him. He caught the bag with grace, and set it down next to him on the floor. "No, thanks-"
"Well how about some pretzels?" she tossed the plastic jug at him.
"No!, Raquel please-" he begged. "Please…you're making this harder!"
"What?" she asked lamely as she continued throwing food in his direction. She knew what was coming. She just couldn't bear to hear him say it.
Soon, however the food being tossed in his direction turned into any random object Raquel could get her hands on. "Here, ya need a fan?" she asked, hurling the white plastic object at him. "I have no use for it, actually."
This time Howie couldn't get away with merely catching the item, so he leapt out of the way. The fan crashed into the wall and landed on the carpet with a soft thud.
"Sweetie, please let me expl-" the pillow heaved in his direction muffled his voice when it collided into his face.
"You don't need to explain anything," Raquel said bitterly. She was about to throw her purse at him when she acknowledged her regressive behavior. She calmly sat on her bed and grabbed the FAO Schwartz teddy bear her father had given her at the beginning of the year.
Howie approached her and tenderly placed a hand on her knee. "Please, just listen to me…"
She looked up at him, and he felt his heart tug inside him when he saw the tears in her eyes. "Please don't…" she whispered. "I don't think I can take it…I understand….just….go…"
"Raquel…."
"Please?" she wailed. She shook off his arm.
He knew there was no way he could explain everything at this point. How could he possibly tell her that he had been hiding, for nearly a month, his status as a band member? Maybe it was better this way. He looked at the trembling girl as she quietly wept into her pillow. If he comforted her, it would only make leaving her more painful. He never knew that he would develop feelings for this girl. Never in a millions years, or else he wouldn't have asked her out.
Damn AJ! he cursed silently. You and your lousy advice! As he shut the door between himself and the woman he had feelings for, he couldn't help but wonder if he was doing the right thing.