The Tommy Story
Tommy woke up in the morning, got out of his bunkbed, and proceeded to stumble right over his cat Yoda and on to his hard wood floor. "I'm taking after my sister more and more every day" He mumbled as he picked himself off of the floor and walked towards the scent of coffee and eggs comming from the kitchen downstairs. As he wandered in, still half asleep, he noticed his sister Bianca skillfully flipping the white and yellow masses as her coffee slowly diffused in the Bodum. 'How can such a klutz be so good at this?' he pondered as he sat himself down and hungrily studied the sunny side up meal that was silently shoved under his nose. "You're up late!" Bianca complained "It was your turn to cook today." "Well," Tommy countered "I WOULD have been up earlyer had certain sisters not kept me up late last night with the screeching of her weird friends and their ritual 'sacrifice to the homework gods' right below my window!".
Pouting, Bianca poured herself some coffee. "Hey, last I remember nobody forced you to stay up !..." she said, a sly grin creeping up on her lips "... and, I also remember a certain preepy haired boy QUITE enjoying burning his exams along with the rest of us during the wee hours."
Now it was Tommy's turn to pout
Ignoring his mischivievous sister, Tommy reached for the coffee and decided to pour himself a glass. But before he got his hand near the handle, Bianca slapped his fingers and pulled it out of his reach as though he were a a four year old too near to the candy jar. "It'll stunt your growth you know!" she said as she started on her second glass, smoothly sighing while inhaling the scent of the freshly brewed liquid. "Hypocrite!" he snapped "You've drunk the stuff for years and you're still taller than I am." "Oh, you know I was just kidding" she chuckled as she slipped on a jacket and started walking out of the kitchen "But really, you know how sick it makes you! The last time you tried to drink coffee Sarah and I had to rush you to the washroom where you spent ten minutes straight puking! I do NOT want to have to relive that!". She walked towards the door and called back quickly "I'm just going down the street to get a newspaper, be back in a few minutes". "I was only eleven!" Tommy shouted from the hallway at the empty doorway "That was years ago!".
His defense unheard, Tommy wandered back into the kitchen where he finished off the rest of his eggs. Though they were good, he still felt unsatisfied. He staired sadly at the empty coffee maker, the last drops of it's caffenated goodness having been ingested by his unreasonable sister only moments before. he couldn't understand why she wouldn't let him forget that incident with the coffee. It had been ages, his body wasn't able to take it then, but why not now? Did she think he was frail or something?
Suddenly, an idea permeated his consencesness. He checked his watch... he still had tem minutes, more if Bianca bumped into someone else she knew, until she would be back. Just enough tome for him to make his OWN cup of coffee.
Quickly he pawed through the cupboards for his sister's stash. He found spices, cleaning products, even a few earrings, but no coffee grounds. Sighing, he sat down on the floor in defeat. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed something. It was a jar with a strange red label and inside was, wonder apon wonders, something that HAD to be coffee! Tommy giggled with glee as he took off the lid and inhaled. Yes, this was definitly what he was looking for. It smelt a bit different than usual, but quickly he decided that it was nothing to be concerned with.
He boiled some water and then added it to the scoops of the grains he had found in the jar he had poured in to the Bodum coffee maker. He staired with anticipation as the liquid turned browner and browner. Soon Tommy was satisfied with the colour and dumped it into his awaiting cup. He was surprised that there were no grains left at the bottom... he was sure that was why there was a filter on it... maybe he did something wrong?
Pushing his doubts aside, he decided to drink. Bianca always added cream and sugar to her coffee, but Tommy had heard that 'real men' drank their coffe black, and that was the way HE was going to drink it too. Picking up the glass, he whipped his head back and drank the entire contentsin one, all be it large, sip.
"Gack!" Tommy choked as it hit his tastebuds "How could she drink this stuff all the time?". Suddenly he began to feel funny. His right hand started jittering causing the mug to fall out of his grip and onto the floor. As he reacher for a chair to sit on, he pondered why the walls were moving around the room. They had never done that before. Finally giving up on getting on the chair, Tommy slumped onto the floor and conversed with the linoleum. "No, I can't let you out" he told it " Because the king of the potato people won't let me". Losing total grip on reality, he staired at the ceiling and marveled at his new perspective. Instead of the whiteness that had been there only minutes before, there now existed an entire civilization of things that appered to be a cross between scuba divers, aardvarks, and otters. "Oh the horror, oh the humanity, oh for the love of Norman Rockwell!" Tommy cackled just before he passed out into a pile on the floor.
"Oh Tommy!" Bianca called out as she walked into the house five minutes later "I'm home and I brought a guest!". She strolled through the front door with a newspaper and Sarah in tow. "I found Sarah at the store and invited her over" She continued, walking towards the kitchen "I hope that's okay wi...". She stopped dead in her tracks when she noticed the pile of Tommy on the floor... and the empty coffee mug lying beside his head. "Oh no, he got into the damn coffee!" Bianca shouted in Sarah's direction. Sarah wandered into the kitchen and made an even worse discovery. "Um... Bianca," she said, picking up the empty red container on the counter "I don't think it was coffee". By this time Biance had propped Tommy's head up on her lap and he was starting to regain consenceness. "Oh see can you say..." he sang, eyes clouding over. "Great, my brother knows the unsure person's anthem" Bianca said irately "So what does this mean?". Sarah staired at the empty container in her hand again and remembered how it had been full when she had brought it over as a gag the night before. he must have drunk the entire package in one cup. "Bianca," she calmly stated, trying to stiffle a giggle "I believe Tommy's brain has been replaced with Folger's Crystals".
