The Biblical Wisdom of Cartoons

The Simpsons

"I was at Bible camp, learning how to be more judgmental."
Mrs. Flanders

"If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to GIRLS sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such."
Homer Simpson

"Marge, have you ever actually sat down and read this thing? Technically, we're not even allowed to go to the bathroom."
Rev. Lovejoy

"This so-called new religion is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants designed to take away the money of fools. Now let us say the lord's prayer 40 times, but first let's pass the collection plate."
Rev. Lovejoy

"Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends! Well I say there are some things we don't want to know! Important things!"
Ned Flanders

"The Good Lord lets us grow old for a reason - to gain the wisdom to find fault with everything he does."
Abe (Grandpa) Simpson

"God has no place within these walls, just as facts have no place in an organized religion!"
Superintendant Chalmers

"Prayer - the last refuge of a scoundrel."
Lisa Simpson

"Look, you can either accept science and face reality or you can believe in angels and live in a childish dream world."
Lisa Simpson

Bart: What religion are you?
Homer: Uh... the one with all the well meaning rules that don't apply to real life... (thinks) ... Christianity!

Calvin and Hobbes

"No efficiency. No accountability. I tell you, Hobbes, it's a lousy way to run a universe."
Calvin

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning."
Calvin

Beavis and Butt-Head

"Hey Butt-Head check this book out! There's a talking snake, a naked chick, then some guy puts a leaf on his SCHLONG!!"