Chapter 2: Down the Rabbit Hole
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Mario had always wondered what the smell of success was and every time he had visualized it, he had never imagined it would smell like the combination of sweat, dirt and blood, but that stench could not have been labeled anything but as it burned the interior of his nose on the way back home and carried by several Hammer Bros and Paratroopas. All of them were praising his name.
The take over was easier than he had hoped. It was almost too easy. Many of soldiers just had to walk up the Mushroom people and throw the powder at them. The soldiers who fought managed to cause several injuries for Mario and his soldiers, but they were quickly subdued. Then came the regular police officers, then the civilians, including the children. Mario almost felt sorry for the children, until they called him a monster and a coldblood.
“I’m gonna dump Koopa-aide all over the general at the party,” one Troopa said.
“No you are not. I’m gonna be the one.” A Hammer brother said.
“What makes you think he would want to have a chilled sports drink poured on top of his head?” Someone else asked.
“Because I don’t want to waste any of the good beer and wine,” Mario said. “And you can all pour Koopa-aid on me.”
The cheers and woops continued towards the castle where another group of soldiers carrying Luigi, were waiting for them.
“Hey bro,” Luigi waved towards him. “I don’t think we expected this. I knew we were going to win, but not this.”
“The two greatest generals of Dark Land history deserve the best,” a Goomba said.
“We do deserve the best,” Mario said as he was lowered to ground. “We all deserve the best. We need to alert the kitchen staff to prepare the best foods, and the best drinks for the party.”
“We did it,” Luigi pulled him into an embrace.
“It still feels amazing,” Mario stepped back and held up a hand.
“Better than sex?” Luigi slapped his hand in a high five.
“How would you know?” Mario asked.
“You are not the only one to have a few one night stands,” Luigi winked. “Speaking of girls, do you think Bowser captured Peach?”
“Yes I have,” Bowser stood behind him. Their king may be taller and slower than the two of them, but he was skilled in stealth. “She has already been taken up to the cell in the highest tower.” He pointed to the turret in question.
“Why not take her to the dungeon?” Luigi asked.
“That’s what the tower cell is for,” Bowser explained. “It is where I keep my special prisoners, Mario, after you get cleaned up I want you to guard her. Kammy is already with her.”
“But sire,” a Hammer Brother held up his hand. “We were hoping to have a celebration and honor the generals.”
“Oh we will have a party,” Bowser said. “And Mario will get to participate, but I want him to watch over the princess first, and the rest of you need showers. You all stink.”
-
Bowser wasn’t kidding when he said he wanted to treat his special prisoners differently. Mario was able to smell the brisket when he was half way up the stairs. A little further along and he was able to inhale the scent of freshly baked dinner roll, and few more minutes went by and he could properly identify the side dishes.
“She refuses to touch her food,” his mother was standing in front of the bars to the cell. “I tried to convince her to eat. Used every tactic that I knew, from pointing out how hard the kitchen staff worked to make her this luxurious food to the fact that she won’t get any dessert unless she cleans her plate.”
“Well you can’t say that you didn’t try,” Mario couldn’t help but to smile at his mother’s efforts. “Is she at least talking? We don’t know if she is traumatized or anything like that.”
His mother shook her head. “She is not in any state of shock if that is what you are worried about. She was polite when she refused food. Always said ‘No, thank you.”’
“How upset is she?”
“She has been crying, but considering what had just happened that is particularly normal.”
“I’m here to relieve you.”
“There isn’t going to be a celebration?” Kammy asked.
“There will be a celebration,” Mario said. “I just have first watch over the princess.”
“Where is your brother?”
“He’s downstairs, getting ready for the event.”
“I will make certain someone comes up to relieve you soon.” She squinted at his face. “Did you shower since you returned?”
“I just got out of the shower.” Couldn’t she see how wet his hair was?
“You missed something right here,” She licked her thumb. “Just right under your chin.” She rubbed away.
“Ma,” he closed his eyes and stepped away from her. “I can get it myself.” He rubbed at where she was cleaning.
“I just want to make certain you look presentable to a princess,” Mother chuckled as she left the room.
Mario rolled his eyes and turned to the cell. The princess was seated on the ground with her back facing him, giving him only a view of her long, corn silk like hair and the god awful pink dress she was wearing, as well as the crown on her head. Mario had to wonder if the crown didn’t fall off, or if Bowser took it when he kidnapped the princess.
“Hello Princess Peach,” Mario said and cleared his throat. “My name is Mario Koopa and I will be your guard, at least for a an hour or two.”
“Mario?” Peach’s voice sounded dry and croaky. This was the voice that could undo Kamek’s spell? How long has she been crying? “You are General Mario?”
“That would be me,” Mario puffed out his chest in pride.
“Why do you want to talk?”
“To pass the time,” Mario explained.
“Until someone relieves you and you can to your party?” Peach turned to glare at him. Even with her face puffy from crying and set into a glare she was beautiful, at least beautiful for a human.
“How did you know?”
“I heard you talking with your mother. You are going to celebrate after what you did to my people. All of you awful Koopas are the same.” She broke down and cried.
“We are not awful,” Mario clenched his teeth. “It was a painless take over.”
“Maybe for you, but not for my people.”
“We are going to release them from the spell.”
“And you are going to force them to bow before your rotten king?”
“He is not rotten,” Mario snarled. “He was not to keen on the transforming your people either.”
“Then why did you do it?” She was now standing and facing him.
“It was the only plan we had.”
“Why did you want our kingdom?” Peach asked. “Because you are jealous of our beautiful and peaceful kingdom while you live in this dark and dreary place. Your kind always has been jealous of my kingdom. You have attacked several times in the past. Its in the history books. You have wanted my home because your once and beautiful land turned dark to match your hearts.”
“It is not dreary, maybe it is to a spoiled little princess. You represent your people well, your highness. You are just as stuck up as they are.”
“My people are not like that. They are kind and nice to everyone.”
“Everyone who happens to be the same species as they are.”
“They treat all species the same, humans, moleish, beanish, even those that are in your army.”
“Oh really?” Mario asked. “Then how come you never see Koopas like myself visiting your kingdom before?”
“Because you are jealous.”
“No, because whenever we attempt to visit we get attacked verbally and physically.”
“That is a lie.”
“It’s not a lie. My brother and I were attacked. We were held down while several of your people pummeled our stomachs, and legs. They tried to break my brother’s horn and tear my moustache off.” That day reappeared in his mind. They returned home covered in bruises. They had to remove their shells so the medical team could completely treat them. “I wonder how many of my kind have been tortured and murdered on your precious and perfect land.”
“No,” Peach shook her head. “That can’t be true.”
“It is. I would be happy to show you the photos, but apparently you wouldn’t be able to see through your rose colored glasses.”
“I don’t wear any glasses.”
“Wow, your are dumber than you look. I wonder if your people are as stupid as they are hateful, and you claim we are the ones with the dark hearts.”
She stood up. “How dare you say such words to me, you, you-“
“Come on I can take it. Were you going to call me a Coldblood?” Just saying the word left a sour and bitter flavor in his mouth. “Or a cannibal? It’s not like I haven’t heard it all before from your people.”
“I have never heard of Coldblood. I was going to call you a jerk.”
“Unbelievable,” Mario smacked the side of his head. “You never heard that word used before? Either you are lying or really sheltered. I take it back. Your glasses aren’t rose colored, they are as pink as that god awful dress you are wearing.”
“Creep.” She stomped her foot and turned to face the window.
“You can believe what you want to believe, princess. That doesn’t make it true.” He noticed the way she had her hands clasped and had her eyes closed. “What are you doing?”
“I’m making a wish.”
“You are wishing on a star?” He held back a laugh. “That is ridiculous.”
“No it isn’t.” She pointed outside. A shooting star was falling to the ground. “You see.”
“That doesn’t prove anything.” He pulled out the wooden chair and sat down. He didn’t care if he was only going to be there for a few minutes or for a few hours. All he knew was that it was going to be an interesting time.
-
“What time does the game start?” Maria Segali flipped through the TV guide. “Lets see, Astros Versus the White Sox? No that’s not what I want. Aha- here we are Mets Verses the Braves.” She set the guide down and picked up the remote.
“There goes the Baker with his tray like always,” Maria’s roommate, Pauline came traipsing out of her room carrying her favorite red dress on the hanger. “The same old bread and rolls to sell.” She continued to sing.
“Oh man,” Maria muted the remote. “It’s tonight.”
Pauline nodded. “In a few hours.” She crossed her fingers. “I hope I get the part. I know I’m just dreaming since it usually goes to someone with some sort of celebrity status, but I hope that I may at least get to be the understudy.”
“With your voice and your looks you are a shoe in.”
“Thank you,” Pauline smiled “Every Morning just the same, since that we morning that we came to this poor provential town.” She paused and took a breath. “You are not going to need the bathroom?”
“Nah, the game is starting, it’s all yours.”
“Thanks, you are a doll.”
Maria turned up the volume. She couldn’t help but feel some form of jealousy towards Pauline. The woman was born to be in show business in some form. Everything about her was glamorous, from her sleek body to her wavy brown hair and full red lips. She may have started as a small town girl from Iowa who joined the circus to get away from it all, but she had evolved since then, and with her voice and acting talent she was going to go places.
Maria on the other hand was average; at least that was how she felt. She had a small bit of squish in her stomach. She wasn’t nearly as fat as her father, but she was no Pauline, or a super model either, but unlike those models she has seen Pauline eat and it was actual food, not samples from a garden either. Maria’s brown hair was dull and she usually kept it tied back in either a ponytail, or in braids, or under her favorite turquoise baseball cap with an M made out in rhinestones. She also had dull brown eyes, and wished she had beautiful blue eyes like her mother. At least she had her mother’s breasts.
The ringing of the phone wrestled her from her thoughts. “You have reached the insane apartment of the diva and the sporty girl.” Maria greeted and turned on the mute button.
“I thought your mother and I raised you to answer the phone properly.” The voice on the other end belonged to her father.
“Hello dad,” Maria greeted. “Are you watching the game?”
“Of course. I want to talk about this business school idea of yours.”
“Did mom tell you about the details?” She had lunch with her mother earlier and she was gushing like a schoolgirl about the fact that she got accepted at Big Biz Institute.
“Yes, and one of the important details is that it is in Tampa Florida.”
“I’m not going to turn into a Devil Ray or a Buccaneers fan is that what you are afraid of.” She stood up. She always had the habit of walking around when she was on the phone.
“That is not what I am afraid of. I’m just worried about the distance. Tampa is pretty far away from here.”
“Not as far away as California, not that I really want to go there.”
“I don’t really want you to go to Tampa either.”
“Why?” She paused outside the bathroom door. “Is it the money?”
“Its not the money. We just don’t want you to be so far away. We want you to be safe.”
“I’m not a little girl anymore.” When were her parents going to cut the apron strings already? She spent hours assuring them that she would attend college within the state and they argued for who knows how long when she and Pauline had an enough money to move into their own apartment.
“We just want you to be safe. We want to make sure you are safe.”
“I can take care of myself and I know how to watch out for danger.”
“We know. Its just that you are our only…daughter, and we love you.”
“I love you to dad, I just wish you would stop busting my balls over this.” She could hear Pauline turn off the valves.
“I really wish you would not use that l-“
“Here’s where she meets Prince Charming, but she won’t know its him till chapter three.” Pauline’s voice rang out until it was drowned by the sound of the hair dryer.
“Is that Pauline?” Maria’s father asked.
“Yeah, she has an audition in a couple hours for Beauty and the Beast.”
“Sounds like she has the role in the bag.”
The dryer stopped. “Uh oh.”
“Pauline?” Maria knocked on the door.
“We got a problem, girly.”
“What kind of problem.”
“The drain in the tub is clogged.”
“I gotta go dad, we have a clog in the tub drain.”
“Remember to use all the tricks before you call a plumber.”
“I remember, and besides. We will call the Super first. Talk to you later.” She hung up. “How bad is it?”
“The water isn’t going anywhere.” Pauline unlocked the door. She had already changed into her dress and her hair was half dry.
“Lemme at it.” Maria grabbed the plunger and struck it down on top of the draining. She pulled up and waited. The water wasn’t moving. “You dry your hair. I’ll try and fix this.” She plunged at the drain ten more times and each time she got nothing. “Heavy solution time.”
“I already got it.” Pauline held up the jug of the solution.
“Thanks,” Maria poured the heavy thick liquid right over the drain. It was the kind that sank right down into the problem area without diluting with the surrounding water. “Now we just gotta wait.”
Five minutes passed and while Pauline’s hair grew nice and dry the water still wasn’t moving.
“I need a broom,” Maria ran to the kitchen and grabbed the broom that was propped up against the pantry doors. This was a trick she had seen her father use several times and it nearly worked all those times.
“What are you going to do with the broom?” Pauline had slipped into her shoes and was applying mascara.
“This,” Maria jammed the hammer down into the clogged drain as far as it could go and begun to stir.
“I thought that only worked on garbage disposals.”
“It’s good for all sorts of plumbing problems,” Maria gave one last stir before she pulled out the broom. “Now for a few more plunges.” She plunged at the drain several more times.
“I don’t want to just leave you like this,” Pauline finished applying her lipstick.
“And I don’t want you to miss your audition.” Maria tried to pull the plunger up. “Damn, it’s stuck.” She put her entire back into it and pulled. The plunger popped up and Maria topped back and one foot landed into the tub, soaking her sneaker, sock and the cuff of her blue jeans. “Damn it.”
“It worked.” Pauline pointed to the drain. The familiar sucking sound was heard as the water level lowered.
“Good,” Maria stared at the small whirlpool that formed. “You know for a second I thought that a snake got caught in the drain.”
“A snake?” Pauline asked before she finished applying bright red lipstick.
“You know the stories. Someone’s pet snake getting flushed down the drain?” Was it her or was that vortex growing, and why the hell did she feel like she was being pulled? She wasn’t hallucinating. The vortex had doubled in size and it was pulling her in.
“Maria!” Pauline grabbed onto her hands.
“What’s happening?” Maria watched in horror as her feet were pulled down the widened pipe.
“I got you,” Pauline braced her feet against the side of the tub as she held onto Maria.
“Let go, or it will get you.”
“I’m not going to let goooo.” The force of the vortex pulled Pauline in. Both girls screamed before Maria’s mind was filled with darkness.
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A/N: Now I have Peach and Mario hating each other and shouting, or course this is the first time they have met and he isn’t saving her.
Pauline and Maria. Yes it is that Pauline. The former girlfriend is now in on the action. I can see her as an actress who yearns to be on Broadway. Maria is, well, I’ll let you guess.
The Busting my balls line was inspired by the Sopranos.
The lyrics are from Belle/Bonjour in Beauty and the Beast.