Chapter 5: Raccoon Tails and Strange Children
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“Just a few more blocks,” Maria said as she lead Pauline through the bustling sidewalks to where they were going to meet up with Toad. The Retainer called them when he found the street sign closest to the warp pipe he had used. They were still carrying their shopping bags around with them
“Did you give him the best directions?” Pauline asked.
“The ones that were the easiest to follow,” Maria nodded. They were to meet somewhere in the middle from the pipe and the store they were shopping in.
“Are you sure we shouldn’t stop at home first?” Pauline asked. “Or that we should have taken a cab?”
“Toad won’t have the right kind of money for cab,” Maria explained. She knew that no one would accept the gold coins from that world. “Not too mention he wouldn’t know how to flag down a cab, or if they will see him, and if they did see him they would think he is a kid. Many people assume that kids don’t have any money.”
“I mean why don’t we take a cab? You could have told Toad to wait where he was and we could have taken a cab to where he was.”
“Oh,” Maria paused to catch her breath. “Why didn’t I think of that?”
“I can’t believe how many things tend to slip your mind.”
“Sorry,” Maria shrugged. “At least we are getting plenty of exorcise.”
“Where is this pipe again?”
“At the playground, why no one has run across it before? I have no idea.”
“So we are going to travel to the other world again, and then travel to seven other worlds?”
“Seven other kingdoms,” Maria corrected. She noticed someone about the size of a child reading something from a notepad in front of a newsstand. He wore not much, save for what appeared to be a pair of white shorts, brown shoes, a blue vest, and a large round white hat, that appeared to have been more fitting on a mushroom than a person.
“Is that him?” Pauline pointed at him.
“It sure looks like him,” Maria nodded. “Hey Toad.”
Toad stopped staring at the sign and turned to them. “I’ve found you.”
“I hope my directions weren’t too difficult,” Maria paused to catch her breath.
“This city is kind of confusing,” Toad frowned. “And considering there are no others like me, no one seemed to notice.”
“Welcome to New York City,” Maria said in a deadpan tone. She noticed Pauline was speaking to the newsstand vendor. “You are not too tired from your walk?”
“I’ve walked further,” Toad inhaled deeply and exhaled when he heard his stomach rumble. “Okay, I’m just a bit hungry.”
“I’ll treat you to a hot dog and soda.”
“Great, do you still have money left?” He pointed to the shopping bag Maria held.
“Plenty. I put the clothes on my debit. I’ll be using paper for the food?”
“Debit?” Toad scratched his scalp. “Paper?”
“Two forms of currency.”
“Thank you,” Pauline placed the small bag she received from the vendor into one of her larger shopping bags.
“What did you get?” Maria asked. “A candy bar?”
“No,” Pauline shook her head. “I got a disposable camera. If we are going to be traveling across multiple worlds, then I want to take pictures.”
“Different kingdoms not different worlds,” Maria shook her head. “It is kingdoms?”
“Seven different lands,” Toad confirmed. “Only one is similar to the Mushroom Kingdom.”
“Tell us about it on the way to the warp,” Maria said. “But let me get those hot dogs and sodas.”
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The pipe in question turned out to be the large green wishing well in the middle of the playground. It didn’t resemble a warp pipe, except in shape. Maria wondered if people just covered the well in mortar and placed rocks on it to make it appear like a stone well.
“I’m surprised this isn’t blocked off,” Pauline said as they neared the well. “After all those stories about children falling down wells and stuff, you would think the people in this city would have complained.
“There was a sign that said kids under ten had to be accompanied by an adult,” Maria said. “and look at these signs.” She pointed to the yellow warning signs around the well illustrating not to climb on, or sit on the edge, or even lean over the edge.
“Kids don’t listen and a lot of parents don’t pay attention to what their kids are doing,” Pauline said.
“Not much of drop,” Toad said. “There is a metal grating about a foot down from the top of this warp well. I noticed when I was trying to reach you. It opens it in the middle and folds down.”
“You see,” Maria climbed over the edge. “No problem.”
“Hey!” Someone shouted. “You can’t be there.”
“I dropped my keys,” Maria called. She was pleased that Toad had locked the grating back up after he climbed through. The problem was that it opened on the other side. “It’s just a slide lock.” Maria reached through the slots in the grating and undid the lock. “Wonderful, come on paisanos.
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Maria stared at the border of the place called Grass Land. The land was very green and some of the plateaus seem to be a bit rectangular and came in several colors.
“Gorgeous,” Pauline held up the camera to her eye and snapped on the shutter.
“You still don’t want to waist your film,” Maria told her. “The adventure has just begun and you have already taken about six shots.”
“That was why I bought three cameras,” Pauline smiled
“Whatever,” Maria walked across the border. “Looks like the welcome wagon is here.” She pointed at the approaching Goombas and Koopa Troopas. “Time to make bad guys go squish.”
“Maria wait,” Pauline shouted but Maria didn’t here her.
Maria ran up to the first Goomba and jumped on him, followed by a jump on a Koopa before she kicked the shell. The shell slid across the ground and knocked other enemies onto their backsides. She kept her eyes open for any pipes that the shells could bounce off.
“Just like last time.” She felt something land on her shoulder. It was a miniature Goomba and it was sticking to her shirt. “Hey get off.” She shook her arm with no luck. Another miniature Goomba landed on her hip. “Hey where are these guys coming from?” She looked up too see a Goomba with white wings was flying over head and dropping more of the little mushrooms. “Hey drop of your spawn some where else.” She tried to run, but the tiny Goombas were slowing her down. “What is the deal?”
“Leave it to me,” Pauline shouted. The bottom half of her dress was white. She found a fire flower. “I’m in the mood for some fried mushrooms.” She threw a fireball at the flying Goomba and knocked it out of the sky.
“Great,” Maria tried to remove the tiny parasites from her clothes. “But how do I get these little guys off?”
“I have no idea. I could try and burn them off, but I’m afraid I might hurt you.”
“Get off,” Maria pulled and shook her body. “Get off, get off, get off, get off.” She jumped up and down. One of the little shrooms had lost its grip and fell off. She continued to jump until the other fell off. “What the hell were those guys?”
“New enemies?” Pauline shrugged. “They know how tough we are, so they had to get a bunch of new guys.”
“Yeah that would make sense,” Maria stared up one of the pastel colored hills. “I think I see another block.”
“Be careful.”
“We can still jump like last time,” Maria jumped up onto the shorter hills next to it before she jumped on top of the larger one.
“Flying turtles,” Pauline called out as a small pack of the winged reptiles were heading towards Maria. “I got em.” She threw more fireballs at them, singing off their wings.
“Thanks,” Maria jumped underneath the block. A bright red leaf fell from the block and floated down to her, as soon as it touched her hat she was surrounded by a brief puff of smoke. “That did something but what?” She felt something on her but and when she reached up to touch her hat to see if the leaf was still there she felt two fuzzy pointed things. “Um what?” She turned to look at her backside and saw a raccoon tail. “I have a tail.”
“Get your tail down here.”
“I’m a coming,” Maria jumped down and wagged her tail from side to side. She hadn’t noticed the winged Koopa until she had struck it with her tail. “So that is what they are for.”
“Now that he is on the ground should I take care of it?” Pauline asked.
“Nope,” Maria stomped on it, making it retract into its shell. “I got it.”
“Plant,” Pauline pointed to the piranha plant in the pipe behind Maria.
“I see it,” her eyes widened when a fireball was shot out of the plants mouth. “They spit fire now?” She picked up the shell and use it to block the fire.
“Fight fire with fire,” Pauline hurled another fireball at the plant.
“Great shot,” Maria approached the pipe.
“Hold it.”
“Now what?” Maria raised her eyebrows.
“This would make a great shot, you with your ears and tail and holding that shell.” She held up her camera again. “Now smile.”
“Mozzarella,” Maria did not blink when the flash went off. “Now lets go.” She climbed the pipe along with the shell still in her hands. There were several more enemies on the ground below them. “Time for a gold ole drop kick.” She dropped the shell onto the ground and kicked it. “Lets see how far this will go.” She ran after it.
“Are you sure that is wise?” Pauline asked.
“Yeah,” Maria watched as the shell bounced against something before it shot back. Just before the shell could hit her she jumped. To her shock and delight she rose higher before and was sailing across the sky. She could feel her tail spin around in circles. “I’m flying.”
“You look like you are gliding,” Pauline corrected. “You are gradually coming down.”
“I can see that now. This is great.”
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One of the many duties Mario had in his new home was to take the former king to visit his son in prison, although he wouldn’t call it a prison. First of all ,each of the cells were even larger than the one Peach was imprisoned in a few months ago. They also had a comfortable bed, a small-personalized television, and a private bathroom. The prison for Prince Peter was decorated lavishly, with potted plants, silk pillows, oak tables and wardrobe for the Prince’s clothes. It appeared less like a prison and more like a deluxe suite.
“Hello son,” Wally greeted the prince.
“Fasser?” Peter sat up. His crown was located in a crooked place on his head and his hair hadn’t been brushed that day. His eyes were bloodshot. “Ish that you?”
“Have you been drinking?” Wally’s voice was stern.
“Maybe,” Peter shrugged. “They give gifts.”
“You see?” Wally snarled. “This is what happens when you let a poison like alcohol becomes legal.”
“And as you have seen at the last few dinners and meetings that it can be controlled,” Mario said. He shared some beer with some of the new soldiers and portioned it out. Some even refused more after the first glass and there was wine served at dinner the previous night for Ludwig, himself and the ministers, everyone knew how to hold their liquor. “Some can’t handle it, some abuse it.”
“I can handle it better than you fat lizard,” Peter pointed a bent finger at Mario’s direction. “Liz-ard, liz hard, liz lard.” He fell back onto his bed and giggled.
“Looks like people will now start calling him the pickled pied Prince Peter of Pipe Land.” Wally hissed. “Sorry about that.”
“Now son, you know it isn’t nice to insult people’s weight.” Wally turned back to his son.
“General Mario,” A Boomerang brother ran up to him. “You have a message from your brother.”
“Where?” Mario asked.
“The screen in the throne room,” The Boomerang said.
“Thank you.” He handed Wally over to his soldier. “You stay here until Wally wishes to leave, or if Peter falls asleep. That is another thing. When you bring him booze, bring it by the glass for wine and beer and no more than two glasses. Never leave the bottle with him.
“Yes sir,” the Boomerang brother nodded.
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Luigi’s nervous face was on the screen when Mario arrived in the throne room. “So it’s just you?”
“Yeah,” Mario nodded. “Ludwig is supervising the move of his organ to what is now the music room. What about you? How is Water Land?”
“It’s great. I organized a water volley ball game, I’m improving my swan dive. I’m thinking of taking both snorkel and scuba diving lessons.”
“How is Wendy?” Mario wiggled his eyebrows.
“She is also great,” Luigi pressed his claws together and blushed. “We’ve been holding hands and spending more time together. Brother, I think I’m in love.”
“That’s great.”
“No it isn’t,” Luigi twitched his tail. “It’s the age thing. She’s only sixteen. I feel like a creep. I told her we shouldn’t continue like this, at least wait for a few more years. I told her I will wait for her.”
“I understand,” Mario nodded.
“This isn’t the reason why I called you. Mario. Pauline and Maria are back and have been seen fighting against our soldiers in Grass Land.
“No,” Mario shook his head. “Are we being called over to assist Larry?”
“I doubt we could make it in time. I just found out they conquered the fortress.”
“Damn it,” Mario stomped his foot.
“Those chicks better not harm Larry,” Luigi clenched his fists and growled.
“I get the sensation that they won’t,” Mario shook his head. “Not the ones that we befriended in our dream.”
“It was only a dream,” Luigi’s face turned static.
“Sorry bro I have another message coming in.” Mario pressed the button and Luigi was replaced by Princess Peach. “Your highness?” Mario gasped. Seeing her free and in her natural element, Peach was even more radiant and beautiful than before.
“Mario,” Peach’s eyes widened. “You are a part of this atrocity?”
“By Atrocity you mean taking over?” Mario nodded.
“How could you, after what you did for me, after how we talked, and kissed.”
“I told my home is with the Koopa Troop,” He pointed to himself. “It was what I am.”
“What have you done to poor King Wally and the people of Pipe Land?”
“We are making sure the schools are funded for music and arts and athletics, we are giving people the choice if they want to drink caffeine, or alcohol, or if they want to smoke and what they want to eat. Isn’t that a good thing?”
“It is, but this isn’t the way.”
“You sent Pauline and Maria after us, didn’t you.”
“I have to. The kings are friends of my father and their children are my friends. I’ll keep praying and wishing that you wont hurt Pauline or Maria, especially after what we did against Wart.”
“That was just a dream.”
“Is it jus a dream when it is shared by six?” Peach asked. “I can’t speak with you.” The screen went dark.
Mario sighed and placed his hand on the screen. They were doing what was the best for everyone, then why did he feel like a rat?
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Maria paused at the edge of the pipe entrance to catch her breath. “I swear that if you try to take my picture now I will break that thing.” There were so many new creatures that attacked them. There were even flying beetles and not only did the plants spit fire, some of them are able to support a spiked ball in the air.
“Not even when we are up here?” Pauline pointed to the deck of the air ship they were on. Behind them were the exhausted and unconscious forms of the wrench throwing moles, even the canons were spitting out smoke.
“No,” Maria said. “The first thing I want to do is take care of this kid.”
“I can here you up there,” a child like voice echoed up.
“That’s great,” Maria shouted down to him. “Because we are about to come down there. Pauline do we have any power up goodies?”
“Just a mushroom and a flower,” Pauline pulled out the power ups from her backpack. “It’s your turn for the flower.” She handed the fire flower over to Maria.
“Thank you,” Maria slipped it into her pocket. “Time to take this kid to school.” She jumped down the pipe and landed in a small room. Pauline landed next to her.
“Welcome to the torture pit of Larry Koopa.” The kid said. He was a lot smaller than Bowser with large blue eyes, a bright blue Mohawk and for fangs protruding under his upper lip.
Maria blinked. “Oh my god, he’s adorable.”
“Isn’t he just the cutest little thing?” Pauline asked.
“I’m not cute,” Larry scowled. “Now batter’s up.” He waved his stolen wand.
“Tough little guy, aint he?” Maria pulled out the flower and touched the petals. She felt burning hot and her denim turned white, along with the edges of her sleeves. She saw the glowing rings head for her and she jumped out of the way.
“Nice try,” Super Pauline said. “Kid you need a kick to the head.” She stomped on him.
“Ah,” Larry fell backwards but didn’t lose his wand.
“I’ll get it,” Pauline bent down for it.
“Nice try,” Larry sat up and shot more glowing rings at Pauline, causing her to shrink back down to her normal size.
Maria threw a fireball at his tail.
“Ouch,” he jumped up and nearly let go of the wand.
“Like I said,” Pauline jump kicked Larry back in the head. “You need a kick to the head.”
Larry fell on his stomach. He wasn’t moving. The wand was a few inches from his head.
“He’s still breathing,” Maria said as she retrieved the wand. “I hate having to hurt someone his age.”
“Hopefully he’s learned something.” Pauline stretched. “Now can I take a picture?”
“You can take one of me and the king once I change him back from being a puppy.”
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