Searching for Carrie Fisher

Go ahead. Log onto imdb.com and run a search for Miss Carrie Fisher. What you will find is not really unexpected. Since “Star Wars” she’s had nary a leading role in any large Hollywood production. Oh, she’s had plenty of bit parts (she played a nun in “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back”) over the years, but those seem mostly for novelty. As in: “look, we’ve got Carrie Fisher, that chick all you geeks used to slobber over, in our movie. . .in the background. . .somewhere.”

And the same with Mark Hamil. Ouch. I guess people got tired of looking at him or something since during the mid-eighties he retreated into the world of voice-overs. Doing a bunch of voices for cartoons, radio productions, and video games. I feel it a great loss, I mean, sheesh, he’s quite fetching, isn’t he?

Even David Prowse (the guy in Darth Vader’s suit) didn’t do very much, movie-wise, after “Star Wars.” By the by, you can spot him in “A Clockwork Orange,” he’s the guy near the end of the movie that carries that dude down the stairs in the wheelchair. It’s kinda hard to miss him; he’s got funny glasses on and he’s, like, 10 feet tall.

But then we get to Harrison Ford, one of the few member of the “Star Wars” cast who went on to do other big movies.

What is up with that? Is “Star Wars” some sort of death wish? Or was it such the coolest experience that some people figured they couldn’t do any better? Its obvious that George Lucas thought that way. I mean, he had made the excellent “THX-1138” then the nostalgic “American Graffiti.” And then “Star Wars.” And that’s it. He didn’t direct another film until “Episode 1.” Oh, well he has plenty of “producing credits” but that doesn’t mean anything. Sheesh, did you see “Willow?” Yeah. The “producing” and “writing” credits he’s been given over the years probably amount to him just spouting off on something. Example:

Steven Spielberg: Hey, George, I had this great idea, I was going to do this movie where I’d have this smart and sassy archeologist guy search for the ark of the covenant. He’d fight Nazi’s, escape through the desert, run through the jungle, and get the girl! It’d be sweet!
George Lucas: Yeah, that sounds great Steven. I’ve got an idea; how ‘bout this: he doesn’t like snakes!
Steven Spielberg: Hey! That’s a great idea, just for that I think I’ll give you a writing or a producing credit.
George Lucas: Ok, more movie credits wouldn’t hurt. It’s not like I need to “work” or anything now. *he lights up a big ol’ fat stogie with a hundred dollar bill*
Steven Spielberg: *reaches for the hundred dollar bill* Hey! Don’t do that, didn’t you see how badly “1941” tanked?

And that’s probably how it went on “Willow” and “Howard the Duck” and everything else George Lucas has “worked” on the past several years. But, hey, at least he actually wrote and directed Episode 1 and 2. At least, that’s what they want us to believe; with all the making-of footage and what-not. It could just be a massive Lucasfilm cover-up. But that’s another column. This is Master Knotty signing off.

Force. . .whoa, man, that’s deep.