Return of the Star Moors

Ok, so I havn’t written in a while. Big deal. I could tell you a long and convuleted story about how I was unable to access the internet for a long while and hope that you’d forgive me and then that you’d continue to read my article. Instead, I’ll tell you the truth.

So there I was, it was November 12th, the day that I’ve been waiting for with much anticipation for many months. I woke up early, took a shower, got dressed, ate a light breakfast, grabbed my backpack and set out to walk to Best Buy. As I neared the side-walk outside my apartment, a black limosine pulled alongside me. A window rolled down and a man with dark sunglasses opened the door for me. “Get in,” he said.

“Who are you?” I asked in astonishment.

“That’s not your concern.”

I eyed him suspiciously. Just then I heard my Mom in my ear, “Dear, never get in cars with strangers.”

I turned around, and, sure enough, there was my Mom. “Mom,” I whined, “what are you doing here, I’m supposed to out on my own now.”

My mom sighed and said, “Yes, I know,” and walked off.

The man in the limo and I looked at each other in awkward silence for a moment. Finally he reached into his pocket and pulled out a Snickers bar. “I have candy,” he said.

“Sweet!” I jumped into the car with him.

We drove along for a little while as I happily munched my candy bar. “So,” I said, peanuts and nougut between my teeth, “what’s going on.”

The man opened a briefcase and pulled out some papers. “You run a website, do you not?”

“Yes.”

“A website entitled Star Moors correct?”

“Yes,” I said. Suddenly the Snickers bar didn’t taste so sweet.

“And you go under the moniker of ‘Master Knotty?’”

“Yes.”

He took of his sunglasses and looked at me. “Well, Mr. Knotty, if that is your real name, I have been sent to take care of you.”

"Shit."

Just then, we pulled up in front of Best Buy. The man smiled and said, “He just wanted to make sure you go to the store all right.”

I looked at the man. He opened the door and I got out. I went into Best Buy and purchased “Star Wars Episode 2” and walked back out. The limo was still waiting for me. The man gave me another Snickers bar, and then, drove me back home.

Ha! You were expecting some lame story where I was dragged off by somebody employed by LucasArts and then beaten up, and left to die in the gutter. Weren’t you? Yeah. You probably were. Well, it didn’t happen that way.

So, you ask, why has it taken me so long to write a new article. I’ll tell you why. This is why. Man, I havn’t moved in three weeks. It’s really cool. Oh, yes, also, I’ve watched the episode 2 dvd about a bajillion times. It kicks major ass. I’ll tell you. If you havn’t bought it, go buy it. And that’s what I have to say. Well, that’s about it, until next week. . .

May the force be with you. . .where no one has gone before.