The Elusive Fan

There is a certain type of “Star Wars” fan that is among the most elusive creatures on the planet. Just when you think you’ve found one, it slips away and disappears. Or, at least, it changes its mind about “Star Wars,” when you’re around.

Of course, I’m talking about the female “Star Wars” fan. Now, I know that I have made some comments in the past about their fictionality (is that a word?); but they must exist; either that or male “Star Wars” fans are hermaphroditic; I mean, how else would new fans come to exist? After all, it’s a proven fact that “Star Wars” fandom is genetic.

But since human beings aren’t usually hermaphroditic there have to be female fans. However, they are extremely shy and rarely announce their presence (at least to me). But I have seen them, oh my brothers, and you may have too. Their only real enticement to show their faces during the day is at a “Star Wars” premiere. Unfortunately, those don’t happen all that often, so they can remain hidden for most of the time.

Most “Star Wars” fans, being male, are unsure of what to do when confronted with these most elusive creatures. The stereotypical fanboy still lives in his parents basement, remember? I am reminded of the Conan O’Brian skit where Triumph the Comic Insult dog hounds the fans waiting in line to see Episode 2. He comes across a female, and says something along the lines of “You’re surrounded by men that have no idea how to please you. . .” Everybody laughed, but of course, it only perpetrates the stereotype.

Ok, I’m going to go off on a little tangent here, I’m sorry in advance; but look, “Star Wars” fans, we have to stop this stereotype! We’re not necessarily porn-loving, 30-year old geeks living in the basement! I’m sorry, but sometimes, I just can’t handle it when people snicker at me for being a fan, for they immediately think of that image.

But anyway, that’s not to say a lot of us aren’t uncomfortable around girls. Most of us get pretty tongue-tied around the opposite sex. Maybe it would help if more fans “wore it on their sleeve,” so to speak. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again and again: Don’t be afraid to be a “Star Wars” fan! Sheesh.

Ok, well, I thought that this article would be funnier. I’m sorry, I guess I’m not funny today; now if you’ll excuse me, my parents have changed the lock on the basement door again; I have to go to a locksmith.

Let the force move and groove ya. . .