Chapter 13: Many Departures

Some time after being pushed out of the boat, Beatrice got back in. Shivering, she shot evil glances at her companions.

Beatrice: Y-you know, I c-could get pneumonia!

Others: *roll eyes*

Beatrice: I'm s-serious! And I would know! I h-had it!

Boromir: Well, you were annoying what with all that crying!

Beatrice: Yeah, well, you talking to yourself was buggin' me, as well!

And so, they traveled on like this, Beatrice constantly eyeing the others and them eyeing her back. The river widened, and soon they came upon two gigantic statues of kings that had their hands out.

Beatrice: *singing to herself* Stop right now, thank you very much! I need somebody with the human touch! Hehehe...

Others: ......

Merry: Okaaay...

Beatrice: Ugh, you people know nothing!

Soon they found themselves passing between the two statues.

Sam: *sees the statues' feet* -snort- And they say HOBBITS have big feet!

After some time of floating down the big river, they had reached the bank. Getting out they stared at the strange land.

Frodo: Okay, so where do we go, now?

Aragorn: That is for you to decide, Frodo.

Legolas: Being that you're the ringbearer.

Aragorn: It's either Mordor (Merry and Pippin: *cringe*) or Minas Tirith (Boromir: Go there, go there!)

Frodo: Hmmmm... I'll, uh, have to think about that...

Aragorn: Alright, you do that. We'll stay here. You've got an hour.

Frodo: Alright... *walks off into the woods*

Boromir: And remember: Choose Minas Tirith!

Beatrice watched Frodo walk into the forest, and sighed. She sat down on a rock, and put her head into her hands.

Beatrice: What am I gonna do?

The others had set up a fire, and were warming their hands, when they heard a shrill screech coming from where Beatrice was sitting.

Gimli: What the-?!

Everyone: *run over to Beatrice*

Aragorn: What's wrong? Why did you scream so loud? There aren't any orcs here!

Beatrice: ORCS? WHAT ORCS? MY FEET! THEY'RE... they're... they're...

Merry: *chuckles* They're furry!

Others: *gaze upon Beatrice's furry feet*

Gimli: Whaddaya know! They ARE furry! Hehe!

Sam: Now, that ain't anythin' to scream about! *chuckles*

Beatrice: *pouts* That's not funny!

Pippin: Actually.. it is! *starts laughing hysterically* BWAHAHAHAHA!

Others minus Beatrice: BWAHAHAHAHA!

Beatrice: Well, fine! If you're gonna laugh at me, then I'm gonna leave! Hmph! *gets up and walks into the forest*

Aragorn: D'oh! Now we've got two people gone from the group!

Pippin: Uh, make that three... Boromir's gone, too!

Aragorn: Oh, crap! *smacks forehead* Okay, I'm gonna go and look for the others! *runs into the forest*

Pippin: I still think it's funny!

Meanwhile, somewhere in the forest Beatrice sat behind a bush crying and moaning about her feet. But when Frodo and Boromir walked into her view, she stopped crying as to get a listen. It looked like Boromir was trying to get the ring from Frodo. And when he attacked him, she was sure that Boromir had lost his marbles.

Beatrice: *mumbles to herself* Always knew he was a rotten apple...

She saw Frodo put the ring on, causing him to disappear, and she saw Boromir trip and break down. Her eyes widened, and she slowly backed up. She kept backing up, when suddenly she fell into a hole in the ground. Luckily, the fall wasn't great, and the ground was covered was leaves, so she didn't hurt herself.

Beatrice: Crap.

She tried to climb out, but to no avail. After some time, she gave up and decided to sit in there until someone came upon her. For a while she sat in there, until suddenly, she heard screams. She got up and tried to see what was going on. But she couldn't see. More screams. She could hear people running above her. Just then a log fell into the hole.

Beatrice: Eeep!

Seeing the log as a way to get out, she climbed up the log and out of the hole. But when she got out, she had suddenly wished that she had stayed in there. For running on all sides of her were orcs. And big orcs, too!

Beatrice: Double Eeep!

Beatrice ran away from the horrid spot, until she had come upon her companions fighting the orcs. But not all of them were there. As several orcs surrounded her, she got into a Karate pose.

Beatrice: I know Karate!

Orcs: *leer at her*

Beatrice: Ah, screw it! *grabs a dead orc's sword and starts waving it around* YAH!

Beatrice ran around flailing her sword around, chopping off orc heads in the meantime. She was so busy chopping up orcs that she didn't realize that the orcs were running away and that their numbers were diminishing. She stopped fighting for a moment to wipe orc blood from her forehead when she saw Merry and Pippin being carried off by orcs.

Beatrice: *eyes widen, and she drops her sword* NOOOOO!

Beatrice ran after the orcs, but an orc crashed into her and ran off causing her to lose consciousness. When she awoke, she found Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas standing above her.

Beatrice: *sits up* What happened? Where is everyone?

Legolas: Merry and Pippin, they've been taken...

Gimli: Frodo has left for Mordor with Sam.

Aragorn: And Boromir was killed.

Beatrice: WHAT? *eyes fill with tears* No! It can't be true! This can't be happening! It just can't be! *puts head in hands, and starts sobbing*

Legolas: *puts hand on her shoulder* It's okay; I know how you feel.

Beatrice: *shakes his hand off her shoulder angrily* Don't touch me, elf boy!

Gimli: Look, we're your friends; we understand-

Beatrice: NO! You DON'T understand! *gets up and walks away* None of you understand! It's bad enough I'm turnin' into a freakin' hobbit, but now my friends are gone! Sam and Frodo are goin' ta Mordor to their doom, Merry and Pippin are captured by Orcs, and Boromir's dead! Oh god! I wish I'd been nicer to him! *sits down* We never did get along...

Aragorn: It's alright, he's at peace now. He fought valiantly. And he wouldn't want us to give up, now. We have to find Merry and Pippin and save them.

Beatrice: You're right... that's the only option left...

Legolas: Well, I can't go off the land of shadows without grooming myself! (Others: *roll eyes*) *takes out a mirror and a hairbrush*

Beatrice: Wait, the mirror!

But before Beatrice could avert her eyes, there was a blinding flash of light, and suddenly Beatrice found herself back in her bedroom.

Beatrice: *groggily* What the? *looks around* I'm back! *looks in the mirror* My clothes! They're back! And I'm not a hobbit anymore! It was all a dream... -sigh- a dream...

Beatrice sat on her bed, and shook her head. But she got up, quickly, as when she had sat down she had heard a loud 'crunch'. She looked in her pocket and to her surprise she found cookie crumbs.

Beatrice: *eyes widen* The cookies!

The End?