Day 5 Dang fellowship. Always making fun of my tights. They are starting to rid up though with all of this walking. Think Gimli is staring. Must find baggy pants.
Day 7 Didn't find baggy pants. Dumb mission. Who cares about some end of the world. Can't die anyway. Dumb Sauron. Guess he hasn't heard of immortality. Gimli can't star at my tight pants in the dark of Moria. Not that I don't understand why he wants to stare. I am so hot. Whoohoo! I'm so much better than those little men with short pants and tall, dark, handsome men with all of that manly stubble, broad shoulders and Lordliness. Hmmmm...... maybe I should find a woman.
Day 10 Gandalf died today. Balrog touched his toushy as they went down. Gandalf's eyebrows were too bushy anyway. And he was so in love with those hobbits.
Day 11/12 Galadriel may want to be my woman. She scares me though. Was peeking on Frodo cause I thought he was with Aragorn, but I saw her go all crazy for the ring. Lucky me. Can't go crazy cause I have everything. Except a woman. Maybe I should stick with guys. hmmmmm...........
Day 30 Why did I have to get stuck paddling Gimli around on that stupid river, huh? He keeps talking about my elfhood and his dwarfhood, but I try to ignore him. Haven't heard all he has said, but maybe that saying is right: Ignorance is Bliss. Bliss is such a manly word, don't you think? Oh, god, someone help me. I better stop hanging out with these guys.
Day 35 Haven't been writing in diary cause Aragorn says it's gay. I mean, come on. He's the pervy hobbit fancier. I mean, who could be attracted to a small hobbit who is prone to illness, says "Oh, Sam!" every five seconds, and has a huge gap in between his teeth. I on the other hand have perfect teeth and my accent isn't FAKE! hahahahaha. OK back to the point. Why can't Aragorn be an elf fancier? I am so much prettier than everyone else especially Frodo. And I have buns of steel. What other creature can say that? Maybe aragorn does. I'll have to check that out. In other news, Boromir dead. Everyone still thinks orcs killed him, but I know the real truth. Everybody said Sam would kill him if he tried anything. Well, he tried to get a cuddle and look where that got him. Later that night Aragorn very sad that Frodo ran off with Sam. There's an old saying that people are vulnerable after breakups--can see bright sunny skies ahead.
Written by Katie
Source: Legolas Greenleaf Online
