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Here are some of my personal favorite moments from "Grosse Pointe Blank."  All sounds files were recorded at full quality (44khz, 16 bit, stereo) and were compressed to mp3 at a high bitrate (192 kbps).  All files were recorded straight from DVD ROM using Goldwave and were compressed to mp3 with Music Match.  Have fun!

MARTIN: You got a great crew.
GROCER: Everybody's in!
MARTIN: Yeah, well not me, so don't paw at me with your dirty little guild.
GROCER: Yeah well life is full of second chances.  And here's chance two for you: you THINK about comin' in with me!  You PONDER, okay?
MARTIN: I'll think about it.
GROCER: 'Cause either way I'm gonna GET you, kid!
MARTIN: Yeah, get what?  Get back.
GROCER: H-h-hey, bing bing bing bing bang, popcorn!
MARTIN: Yeah, whatever.
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MARCELLA: You know, when you start getting invited to your ten year high school reunion, time is catching up.
MARTIN: Are you talking about a sense of my own mortality or a fear of death?
MARCELLA: Well, I never really thought about it quite like that.
MARTIN: Did you go to yours?
MARCELLA: Yes I did.  It was just as if everyone had swelled.
374 k
MARTIN: So I got invited to my ten year high school reunion.  I'm conflicted, I mean I don't know if I really wanna go.  It's in Detroit, y'know, and I grew up there, but I just honestly don't know what I have in common with those people anymore...I mean or with anyone, really.  They'll all have husbands and wives and children and houses and dogs and, y'know, they'll have made themselves a part of something and they can talk about what they do, and what am I gonna say? "I killed the president of Paraguay with a FORK.  How have you been?"
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MARTIN: Can we just pretend like we have a normal doctor-patient relationship?  I'll ask you a piece of advice, you give me an answer?  You know?  Advice: should I go to the reunion?
DR. OATMAN: Yes, yes, get out of town.
MARTIN: Thank you.
DR. OATMAN: Go see some old friends...have some punch...visit with what's her name.
DR. OATMAN: Debi?  Don't kill anybody for a few days, see what it feels like.
MARTIN: Alright, I'll give it a shot.
DR. OATMAN: No no, don't give it a shot!  Don't shoot anything!
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MARTIN: What are you doing here?
ULTIMART CARL: I'm doin' a double shift, what's it look like?
MARTIN: How long have you worked here?
ULTIMART CARL: A couple months.
MARTIN: Yeah?  Is there a manager here?  Do you have a supervisor?
ULTIMART CARL: No, they...
MARTIN: How long have they worked here?
ULTIMART CARL: I'm not tellin' you.
MARTIN: Yeah? Where do you live?
ULTIMART CARL: I'm not tellin' you that either!
MARTIN: Where does your manager live?  Who...I used to...what are you doing here?
ULTIMART CARL: I work here.
MARTIN: What are you doing here?!?
ULTIMART CARL: I work here!
MARTIN: And how long have you worked here?
ULTIMART CARL: Only a couple months.
MARTIN: Alright, alright, what's done is done, just forget about the whole thing.  *sigh*
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MARTIN: Dr. Oatman, please pick up!  Pick up!  It's Martin Blank!  I'm standing where my house was, and it's not here, because my house is GONE and it's an ULTIMART!  You can never go home again, Oatman...but I guess you can shop there.
353 k
DEBI: Next caller, you're on the air.
NATHANIEL: Debi, man, it's Nathaniel.  I don't hear any real remorse, dude. I mean, like, I don't think I'd let this guy back in your life.  And dude, I'd make him wear that prom dress!
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MARTIN: So you look good.  You seem good.
PAUL: Thank you.  You may have, uh...TEN YEARS, man!  TEN!  Where have you been for ten years?!?
MARTIN: I freaked out...joined the army...went into business for myself...I'm a professional killer.
PAUL: Oh, does that, do you have to do post-graduate work for that or can you, can you jump right in?  I'm, I'm curious about that.
MARTIN: No, it's an open market.
PAUL: Open market!  That's good.  Wow.
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PAUL: TEN YEARS, man! Ten y...TEN YEARS!  Ten years.  TEN!  TENNNNN...YEARRRRRS, ten years!
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PAUL: What more can I say, y'know?  You'll be raising your family in a work of art.  A work of art in a work of art.
BUYER: Oh, yeah.
MARTIN: I've always felt very temporary about myself, and looking at the two of you and this house...when my times comes, if it ever does, I wanna house like this...I wanna wife like you.
BUYER: Oh, huh.
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MARTIN: You alright?
ULTIMART CARL: No, I'm not alright!
MARTIN: Take it easy.
ULTIMART CARL: I'm hurt, I'm pissed...gotta find a new job!
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MCCULLERS: If we observe the subject in an illegal act, only THEN can we intervene and terminate.
GROCER: Yeah. Why don't ya just go and shoot the f---er, huh?
MCCULLERS: Uh-HUH-HUH...BECAUSE, we are not ASSASSINS, Mr. Grocer.  We work for the American government.
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DEBI: So, is there a Mrs. Misterio?
MARTIN: No, but I have a very nice cat.
DEBI: It's not the same.
MARTIN: Well, you don't know my cat.  It's very demanding.
DEBI: "It"?  You don't know if it's a boy or a girl?
MARTIN: I respect its privacy.
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DEBI: Yer cyan't come in!
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MCCULLERS: Man, why don't we just do his job so we can do our job and get the fuck outta here?
LARDNER: What do you mean "do his job"?  What am I, a cold blooded killer?  I'm not a cold blooded killer.
MCCULLERS: Wait a minute.
LARDNER: No, YOU wait a minute.  You wanna kill the good guy but not be the bad guy.  It doesn't work like that, ya gotta wait...until the bad guy kills the good guy.  Then when you kill the bad guy you're the good guy.
MCCULLERS: So...just to clarify...if we do his job, we're the bad guys.  And if we do our job, we're the good guys.
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MARTIN: Whole grain pancakes and an egg white omelette, please.
WAITRESS: What would you like in your omelette?
MARTIN: Nothing in the omelette, nothing at all.
WAITRESS: Well that's not technically an omelette.
MARTIN: Well I don't want to get into a semantic argument over it, I just want the protein, alright?
259 k
MARTIN: What about those two guys in a Caprice Classic outside.  The word is you turned two governments on me, you turncoat.
GROCER: On you?
GROCER: Neverrrrrrrrrr.
239 k
MARTIN: Hi, how are you?  Yeah!  I, uh, I'm a pet psychiatrist.  Yeah.  Yeah.  I sell couch insurance.  Mmm-hmm! Mmm-hmm! And I, and I, and I test market positive thinking.  And I lead a weekend men's group, we specialize in ritual killings.  Mmm-hmm!  Yeah, you look, you look GREAT!  God, yeah!  Yeah!  Hi, hi, how are you, yeah, how are you?  How are you?  Yeah, hi.  Hi, I'm Martin Blank, remember me? I'm not married...don't have any kids...and I'd blow your head off if someone paid me enough.
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MARTIN: How 'bout you?  How the years been treatin' you?
MR. NEWBERRY: Well, you know me, Martin, the same old sellout...exploiting the oppressed.
MR. NEWBERRY: "Ah, what a piece of work is man.  How noble..."...awww, f--- it.  Let's have a drink and forget the whole damn thing.
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ARLENE: I had the yearbook pictures put on so everybody knows who everybody was!
MARTIN: A special torture!
ARLENE: Ha ha ha...
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MARTIN: Hi Bob!  It's me, Martin, from high school.
BOB: I'm drawin' a complete...Blank.
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PAUL: Paul, Paul Sperecki.
JENNY: Paul?
PAUL: Yeah.  Had, had eleven, had ele...eleven classes with ya.  Did the...precious metals paper for ya.
JENNY: Ohhhhhh...
PAUL: Okay!  Hah hah.  Wow, lookin' for some validation in my life, but apparently came up SHORT! 
MARTIN: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
PAUL: I think that went quite well.
MARTIN: Yeah, it was good for you.
PAUL: I thought that went quite well.
MARTIN: Yeah, yeah.  How's the rest of the night been goin'?
PAUL: Oh, it's been goin' great!  You know, it's a festival of pain!
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MARTIN: Now whaddya wanna do here, man? I don't know what that is. 
BOB: These are my words.
MARTIN: It's a poem? See, that's the yourself, Bob! Go for it.
BOB: "When I feel...quiet...when...I"
MARTIN: You know, I think that is TERRIFIC, what you have right there. Really, I liked it, a lot. I wouldn't sell the...I wouldn't sell the dealership or anything but, I'm tellin''s intense!
BOB: There's...more.
MARTIN: Okay, would ya mind, just skip to the end.
BOB: To...the very end? "...for a while."
MARTIN: Whew. That's good man. 
BOB: "...for a while."
MARTIN: That's excellent!
BOB: You wanna do some blow? 
MARTIN: No I don't.
1.23 MB
DEBI: You're a psychopath.
MARTIN: No no no, a psychopath kills for no reason!  I kill for MONEY!  It's a JOB!  That didn't sound right.  Uh, lemme see if I can put it another way.  If I show up at your door, chances are you did something to bring me there.  I mean, everybody's doin' it, it's like the natural order.  I mean...the states do it!  Sometimes there's due process and sometimes pilots carpet bomb cities!  Riot cops shoot demonstrators!  That's indiscriminate, I don't do that!  You should read the files on some of these f---ers!  I mean it reads like a demon's resume!
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MARTIN: So I was in the Gulf last year...I was doin' this thing.  Anyway, I came up over this dune...and I saw the ocean...and it was on fire.  I mean the whole thing was beautiful.  And I just sat down and I watched it burn...and I got this sneaking dark suspicion that MAYBE there was meaning to life.  Y'know, a point, like an organic connection between all living things?  I dunno, a God, uh, Yahweh, a higher power, or whatever you wanna call it.
521 k
MARTIN: I mean I wasn't exactly...raised in a loving environment.  It's not an's a reason, y'know?  My soul was emtpy, it's up to me to fill it.
GROCER: [Sings] I'll be comin' 'round the mountain when I come,  I'll be comin' 'round the mountain when I come, I'll be blowin' your f---in' head off, I'll be blowin' your f---in' head off, I'll be WHACKIN' your f---in' mind out when I come!  Popcorn!  Dit dih-dit dih-dit dit-dee!
502 k
GROCER: Hey comrade!
GROCER: Why don't you just join the union...we'll go upstairs together and cap daddy!
MARTIN: This union, is there gonna be meetings?
GROCER: Of courrrrse!
MARTIN: No meetings!
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