I was grateful that, in the darkness, he couldn't see my red face or my tears. Before I left, we thoroughly discussed how, THIS time, we would carefully accomplish the water transfer from my mouth to his, and then I crawled toward the water pool, trying to let go of my stupid mistake. There was so much I wanted to ask him, so much I wanted to talk to him about, so much I wanted to learn about him, so many things I'd dreamed of doing with him. I reached the pool, filled my mouth to capacity, and headed back, resolving that I would…COULD…do it right.

When I returned to Johnny, I felt better, a little more confident that I could indeed do this without royally fucking it up. And so the process was repeated, but this time, with his mouth pressed over mine and his hands holding my face, I very slowly let the water trickle out into his waiting mouth. When he needed to swallow, he pushed me away a little and swallowed, then returned for more, until my mouth was empty. I moved away in relief, thanking my angels for helping me keep my composure.

He lay there looking at me for a moment, then he smiled. "You did great. Thank you, Mary. I'd be in deep dog shit if you weren't here," he said earnestly.

"You're welcome, Johnny. Do you need more?"

"Not right now. I need a cigarette, though." He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, then into his jeans pocket and pulled out a lighter. I'd have gone back for more water for him a hundred times, if he'd asked. Instead, I rolled over onto my back next to him, and watched. He offered one to me, but I don't smoke. I heard that familiar Zippo click, then, in the flame from the lighter, I could see him clearly for the first time. His face, hair and clothing were covered with dust, dirt, scratches and blood. But I could see through it all…he was Johnny Depp…he WAS Johnny Depp!…the most amazing actor, the most beautiful man in the world. I watched in awe as, after he lit his cigarette, he held his lighter up to cast more light, looked all around, looked at me quizzically, up and down, sucked on his cigarette, looked me over once more, swallowed (I could see his Adam's apple move!), then closed his lighter and closed his eyes, resting his head back. I lay there thinking, appreciating, and watching him while he smoked, able to see his profile clearly each time he took a drag. He was breathtaking, and I was absolutely enamored of him. I tried desperately to think of something to say.

"I didn't think about your having a lighter, Johnny. Maybe I can find some wood or something to burn. I don't recall seeing any, though." I was trying to start up a conversation.

He sort of grunted, one arm over his eyes.

"Why are you here, Johnny? Here in Florida, I mean. And out here at the wilderness refuge?" I HAD to get him talking to me!

"You know, Mary, I'm lying here wondering the same thing. Why the fuck AM I here? [sigh]…I'm researching a movie… I'm gonna direct a movie, and I was considering this place…this…wilderness refuge… for a major scene, and I decided to walk out here this morning, just to look around."

"Does anyone know that you're out here today?"

"…No…uh…no. I'm staying at a hotel in Orlando, but…I'm alone. Fuck! No one is expecting to hear from me until tomorrow!"

"Johnny, today's Sunday, and no park rangers are on duty today. No one knows that I'm here, either. No one will miss me. No one will notice that our cars are left here overnight. It might be tomorrow before anyone finds us. And, it's supposed to get cold tonight."

"How cold?" He turned his face toward me; his dark eyes were wide with concern in the glow of his cigarette.

"This morning's report said in the 30's."

"Fuck. I left my jacket in the car."

We lay there looking at each other in silence for several minutes, contemplating the situation, sizing each other up. His eyes, his expressions, his entire face kept changing, and I thought I could almost follow his thought processes through his eyes, even in the darkness.

"Well, Mary, we've got water, and that's good. Neither of us is hurt very badly, and I've got a reasonable supply of cigarettes. So, I guess things could be worse, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess things could be worse, Johnny. How's your headache?"

"Still there, but not as bad, and the bleeding's stopped. I've GOT to try to get my foot free, though. I'm gonna try pulling free again. You move away, over there, just in case…" He motioned toward the far end of the cavern, by the water pool.

I looked at him disbelief. He wasn't really going to try again, was he?

"Johnny, please don't do this…the whole pile of rocks might collapse on you."

"I have to try, Mary. I can't lay here on my back like this for much longer. I have to do SOMETHING. Besides, it feels like my foot is looser…I don't think it'll take much to get free. Go on, move over there."

"Fine," I muttered, feeling anger welling up inside me. Ordinarily I would have passionately defended my opinion with anyone, regardless of who they were. Instead, I crawled well away, irritated at him for his foolishness; irritated at myself for my meekness. I prayed to the Universe that the entire cavern wouldn't come tumbling down on us because of Johnny Depp's obstinacy and my slavishness. It started to really piss me off.

I heard a lot of grunting, groaning, and swearing. I heard rocks tumbling and crunching. More swearing and groaning, then all was quiet.

"Johnny?"

"I'm okay, I'm okay…[cough]…fuck. I got my foot free…[cough]...I just need to catch my breath…[gasp]…[cough]… I took a beating from some pretty big fucking rocks. I'll be okay in a minute," he gasped.

I crawled over to him, moving debris aside as I went. The air was full of dust again.

"Are you hurt?" I touched his arm.

"No…uh…my head hurts again…some more bruises, maybe…[cough]."

"I'm gonna go get you some more water. You just lay still now, you hear me? I MEAN IT," I said sternly. I was still pissed off, but relieved that his foot was free.

"Please…[cough]…[gasp]…yes, water would be great. I'll be okay in a minute."

I made record time to the watering hole and back and gently fed him a drink of water. His lips were dry and dusty, his mouth seemed greedy for the water. My hair tumbled forward into his face as he fairly sucked the water from my mouth. I kept my eyes slightly open this time, savoring his breath, his eyes, his mouth, everything. All too soon, my mouth was empty, but, was it my imagination, or did his incredibly soft lips linger on mine in something that felt like a kiss? Then he gently pushed my face a little away from his and looked at me through the darkness. "Thank you, Mary," he whispered. Time stood still for a few seconds, then I reluctantly moved away.

He lay silent for a while, then lit another cigarette, clicked his lighter shut, and smoked with his eyes shut.

"Johnny, are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, just…just wondering how in the hell we're gonna get outta here. I'm gonna go try to…to find a way out of here in a minute, but…this headache is pounding…[sigh]."

I suppose I was still pissed, and the sight of him lying there in pain, injured, brought out the worst in me.

"You probably have a concussion, and you probably need to keep still. But hey, no need to listen to me. I mean, what the hell do I know? Go ahead, Mr. Macho Man, go crawling around with a fucking concussion. I'm sure YOU'LL find a way out. After all, I'm just a stupid girl, and you guys know EVERYTHING."

I couldn't believe those words had just come out of my mouth! Why the hell did I say that? What was I thinking? What the HELL was wrong with me? I could have kicked myself! He looked at me sternly, his eyes flashing in the glow of his cigarette, his eyebrows knotted into deep furrows, his mouth open.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Mary? We're in this together, and I need to be able to rely on you, and you on me. I'm not implying that I can find a way out where you can't, but sometimes two heads ARE better than one. So cut me some fucking slack!"

Then he put his hand over his eyes and blew his breath out hard.

"Fuckin'-A," he muttered.

"I'm…sorry, Johnny. Really…I…I don't know why I said that. I'm too freakin' independent sometimes, and it irks me when men…"

"Well, you've got me all wrong, Mary. I'm not a macho guy, and believe me, I didn't relish the idea of getting the SHIT beat out of me by falling rocks, but I HAD to get my foot free. That's not MACHO, that's PRACTICAL, Mary. WE have to try to get OUT of here!"

"I know that, Johnny. I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry!"

He didn't say anything, then he sighed again, deeply. And then, quietly, gently, he implored, "Mary, why don't you tell me something about yourself. I mean, it looks like you and me are gonna be here awhile, so we might as well know who we're dealing with. Please. My head hurts too bad to move right now."

And so, hesitantly at first, I proceeded to tell him the story of my life, and he kept asking questions…sincerely interested in what I had to say. I tried to keep my feelings for him out of it, but finally broke down and told him how I loved his acting, and told him my favorites of his movies, and scenes from some of them. He seemed appreciative. I especially talked about "The Brave," and he told me some stories about the filming of it. I wanted to keep him talking forever, so I asked about some of the directors he'd worked with, and about Flea and Sal, and Hunter Thompson, and Joe Pistone, and anything else I could think of. He opened up a lot then. I was enthralled, enchanted. I forgot where I was, only that I was in the presence of my favorite actor…my love…Johnny Depp. He was really here, talking to me!

All too soon, the conversation lulled. Then, over my objection (and much to my dismay), he asked me to show him the way to the pond. I reminded him to keep his head low, and I crawled ahead; he followed. I had moved most of the rubble out of the way in my previous forays to the pond, so the going was not quite so difficult, and this time I took Johnny's hat with me and used it as sort of a "broom" to sweep the tiny pieces of limestone out of the way. We both drank deeply. I showed him how to wash his face and hands without contaminating the water supply. Then we just lay there on our bellies next to the pond for a while, until I started shivering.

"It's too damp and cold here. I'm going back," I said

We crawled back to our spot. The crawling warmed us both up, and at least the stone there was dry. Johnny lit another cigarette, looking at me questioningly, as if to say, "Well, NOW what?"

"Johnny, maybe we should use your lighter and see if we can find a way out. Are you feeling up to exploring?"

"I'm feeling like shit, frankly, but I sure as hell don't want to spend the night in this fucking place, not if I can help it."

"How's your headache? I mean, you can put yourself in real danger if you have a concussion…"

"I think my headache's due more to needing caffeine than a concussion, Mary. I'll be okay…c'mon, let's go." Men.

We spent hours crawling around, him flicking his lighter periodically to get a good look at our surroundings. It was obvious that he was in pain, and he frequently would lay down on his belly and rest for a few minutes, sometimes moaning. I wanted so badly to hold him in my arms, bathe his aching head with cool water, comfort him, touch him, kiss him. Instead, we looked for wood, or something to burn, but found nothing. He, too, tried scrambling up the incline toward the cave-in, but to no avail. There appeared to be no way out. We were exhausted, so we returned to "our spot." The air had grown colder; the floor of the cavern on which we lay now felt like ice. We were cold and miserable, stiff and sore, our spirits waning with our energy.

"Mary, we need to…find a way to get warm."

We lay there looking at one another, trying to read what we saw in each other's eyes in the dim light, reluctant to be the one to vocalize what we both knew had to be done. Johnny finally bit the bullet.

"Well, as awkward as this is, I guess we need to…get up close and personal, huh, Mary?" He turned onto his right side, facing me, and opened his arms toward me. "Face-to-face, or spoon?"

"I think face-to-face would be warmer for both of us, Johnny," I managed to say, my voice trembling.

With a pounding heart, I took a deep breath and moved over closer to him. I quickly snuggled up against him, on my left side, my head lying on his right bicep, my right arm and face against his neck and chest. He wrapped his left arm around me, so I wrapped my right arm around him. I bent my right knee a little, and felt him lift his left leg slightly, so I slid my knee between his legs. We squirmed around a little, making minor adjustments to our positions. He pulled me closer. I felt his hand in my hair, arranging it out of the way of his face, and then he brushed his own hair back with his hand. I felt stiff, I couldn't relax, afraid to breathe…but the warmth from his body was indescribably delicious.

Just when I was beginning to relax, I realized that he was aroused. My breath caught in my throat, and I felt my body stiffen again. I was afraid to move, I didn't know what to do or say.

"Mary…I…I'm sorry…it's…it's just…the closeness of…of your body…I won't…I mean, I wouldn't…do anything…I mean, just ignore it, Okay? I'm really sorry…I…I didn't realize this would be so…so difficult." I could hear painful embarrassment in his soft voice. He sighed deeply.

I managed to breathe, then said, "It's okay, Johnny…I understand. You're a guy, I'm a girl…it's…it's a natural physical reaction."

I heard him swallow. Then, "Especially when the girl is beautiful."

A pronounced silence descended on us, and neither of us moved a muscle. The sexual tension was almost tangible. I thought I could hear both of our hearts pounding, echoing through the cavern. Johnny was still obviously strongly aroused and deeply embarrassed. Hell, so was I! Not to mention confused!

We were both desperate to get past this, so, to try to get our minds off of where our bodies wanted to go, I asked about his upcoming movies and projects. We both relaxed a little as he told me of his plans. I lay there listening to his soothing voice, feeling his warm breath in my hair, his hand on my back, me lying in his arms. I would have been in heaven were I not so filthy with dust and dirt, hungry, and frightened for our safety. At least I was relatively warm. What little light there was faded, and soon we were enveloped in total darkness.

Then I asked him the one question I'd always wanted to ask…did he ever read the Johnnydeppfan dot com message board? And he confessed that he read the board all the time! I couldn't believe it! I tried to remember what I'd written, somewhat embarrassed. He asked what my alias was on the board, and I told him, and he said, "No way!!! You? I LOVE your writing! You and Hard Working Depp Fan, and Meeps, you girls are GREAT…really witty and funny!" We talked and even laughed about some of the articles, and the mock Presidential election campaign. He said he really wanted to meet Vicki someday. I couldn't believe that Johnny Depp was lying here with me in his arms, telling me he loved my writing! I could hardly wait to tell the fans at the message board!

We continued to talk about many things, for hours, feeling much more comfortable with each other. The sexual tension subsided and our physical contact became only a means for achieving warmth. We talked of great books, great music, and friends; what inspires us and what doesn't; the paparazzi and his fierce desire for privacy…

"Mary?…Mary?"

I awoke with a start in pitch-blackness, feeling extremely cold, not knowing where in the hell I was, who I was with, or what was going on. It came back to me with a jolt.

"Johnny…what's wrong?? Are you okay?"

"You fell asleep, and I…I need to turn over, onto my back, or maybe onto my other side. I need to move. My hip is killing me, and I'm really cold. I'm shivering."

I, too, shivered as we disengaged and I stiffly climbed over him so that we could reverse sides, then we quickly found ourselves tangled in each other's arms again, seeking warmth. He held me tightly, his cheek against mine, his breath in my ear. We both felt the desperateness of our situation, the cold permeating our bodies to our very bones.

"Mary, are you afraid?" he whispered.

"I'm worried about the cold, Johnny…hypothermia…"

"Yeah, I know."

I was beginning to shiver involuntarily every so often. Then I felt Johnny's chest heaving, and I realized that he was crying…holding me tightly, shivering, and crying.

"Johnny?"

"Mary…we're in trouble, and I'm scared, really scared. For the first time in my life, I have something to live for…Vanessa…and my baby…oh, God! My beautiful Lily-Rose…I love them both so much. I don't want to die down here, Mary." He sobbed audibly.

I felt totally inept, powerless. My own eyes filled with tears. I didn't know what to do. We clung to one another, allowing our fears to overwhelm us, and our tears flowed freely as we sobbed in each other's arms. And as we lay there crying, knowing that our lives were in jeopardy, I heard a soft voice. "Meditate."

"What did you say, Johnny?"

"I didn't say anything."

And suddenly, I knew. I knew that somehow, some way, something had just intervened and probably saved our lives. My guardian angels? I like to think so. I hoped it wasn't too late, and I'd never tried it to raise body temperature, but…

"Johnny, I have an idea. We need to raise our body temperature, and we need to do it now. Do you ever meditate? Do you know how? Would you try it with me?" There was a sense of urgency in my voice now, and I spoke quickly.

"I've done it some, but…"

"Well, I'll guide you…I'll coach you. You really need to concentrate on what I'm saying, okay? Believe in it, and concentrate, and we'll warm up. It'll take awhile, but just trust me, okay? I think it'll work."

"I'll do whatever you say, Mary…I'm freezing."

We were both shivering now, almost constantly. I knew the situation was nearing critical. I could feel my brain growing sluggish from hypothermia. And so I began talking, calling upon the higher power within me, trying to keep my voice soothing and calm, taking us through breathing and relaxing exercises and guided imagery into a deep state of meditation, concentrating on envisioning sunshine and warmth emanating from within us as well as without. And finally, I could feel us growing warmer, our shivering subside.

When I felt confident that we were out of danger for the moment, I said, "Now, talk to me, Johnny. Tell me all about Vanessa and Lily-Rose. Tell me everything. We need to stay awake…it's too dangerous to fall asleep now." I felt totally in control for the first time since we'd crashed into the sinkhole.

And he talked freely, eagerly. He spoke of his deep and abiding love for Vanessa; the friendship they shared; the trust; the respect; her music and acting and modeling career. He told me of Lily-Rose; her antics; her smile; his pride; the joy she brought to them; how she completed his life…THEIR lives. I could hear the love in his voice; I could feel his body warm up even more as he spoke of them. And slowly, as he talked, he ceased being the famous actor Johnny Depp, he ceased being the actor for whom I had an infatuation and obsession, and he became a man, a human being in love, not with me…it would NEVER be me…but in love with Vanessa and the child they'd conceived, committed to them both, trying his utmost to find his slice of happiness and peace. And I was humbled. He grew quiet, and I lay there thinking about him, and what he'd just told me, trying to sort out my feelings. Oh, I still adored him, but on a different level somehow.

As I lay there thinking, my respect for him deepened, his breathing deepened, and I realized that he was asleep. I didn't have the heart to wake him. His body felt warm enough, he wasn't shivering, and I meditated again on raising my own body temperature to continue to keep us both warm.

When next I opened my eyes, I could again see around me in the dim light of the cavern. It was finally Monday morning. Johnny was still helpless in sleep, looking so peaceful, so incredibly beautiful. My heart welled up with tenderness and compassion. I hated to move, but my hip felt as if it was on fire, and I was cold again. I squirmed a little.

"Van? Vanessa?"

"Johnny, it's me, Mary."

"Oh, man…I was dreaming…"

I was about to scoot away so that we could both turn over, when I felt the earth rumble, and heard rocks and debris crashing down near the opening of where we had originally fallen in. Johnny and I grabbed each other, ducked our heads, closed our eyes, and held our breath. Dust and dirt sifted over us. When I opened my eyes, sunlight was pouring into the cavern!!!

"JOHNNY!!!!! LOOK!!!"

He raised his head, opened his eyes, coughed, and then smiled.

"Well, I'll be fucked!!!"

This time, the cave-in had occurred at the bottom of the angled slab of limestone. We had a way out!

It seemed to take forever, but finally Johnny climbed out into the bright sunshine, reached back, grabbed my hands, and pulled me out with him.

"Let's get the fuck outta here!"

Despite our stiff limbs and badly scraped knees, we quickly walked---almost ran--- away from the area, afraid it would collapse further. And then we realized we were safe. Safe! Free! Alive!

"We did it, Mary!!!" Johnny's eyes were wide with wonder, and he was grinning. He grabbed me, pulled me to him, and hugged me tightly for a long time. "Oh, my God, we MADE IT, we MADE IT!!!!!" And then he kissed me, square on my dusty, dirty mouth. It wasn't a passionate kiss, it was the kind of kiss you would give someone who had just been through hell and back with you. It was a kiss of sheer and utter joy.

"C'mon!" He grabbed my hand, and we started running down the trail toward our cars, but we were a long way out, so we finally slowed to a walk to catch our breath. At least the running had warmed us up. He continued to hold my hand as we walked. I felt like his little sister, but that was okay. Neither of us could stop smiling, looking around at the world, loving every second, almost afraid to believe that we'd really made it out alive.

When we reached our cars, I opened the trunk, put on a jacket, and pulled out my backpack. Johnny got his jacket from his car. We each took a good long drink from my canteen. Then I pulled out the Power Bars I always kept in my backpack, and we wolfed them down.

"Mary, do you have a pencil and paper? Give me your address."

I wrote everything down for him.

"Mary, are you going to report this? To the police, or the paper?" I looked at him…his eyes asked, "Please don't."

"No, Johnny, we're both okay, no need to bring the police or the press into this. But you have to promise me that you'll see a doctor as soon as possible." I smiled at him knowingly, communicating with my eyes that I would not betray him to the paparazzi.

He smiled back at me and exhaled, his eyes full of gratitude and appreciation.

"Thanks, Mary. I promise."

"I'll call the park and report the sinkhole, though. I'll just tell them that we saw it, not that we fell in it. And, if you don't mind, I'd like to write a fan fiction story for Vicki's site. Everyone will think it's fiction, but you and I will know that it really happened. Watch for it on the board, okay, Johnny?"

He grinned. What a beautiful grin! The world should see Johnny Depp grin more often!

"I'll watch for it, Mary." His eyes were sparkling in the sunlight. No wonder Vanessa loved him so!

He pulled me to him and hugged me fiercely.

"That was one helluva fucking adventure, huh, Mary?"

"Whooee, Johnny!" We giggled again.

"You gonna be okay to drive home, Mary?"

"I'm GREAT, Johnny, no problem!"

"Me, too!"

More hugging and giggling.

"Well, goodbye, Mary. Thank you…thank you for everything."

He looked deeply into my eyes. His eyes were full of gratitude, compassion, tenderness, appreciation…all that is Johnny Depp was in those eyes. Now I understood what Vanessa meant in that interview when she had said "he is so much more…"

He kissed me again…a soft, tender, gentle kiss. It spoke volumes.

"I'll be in touch, okay?" He smiled warmly.

"Okay, Johnny."

"Take care, Mary."

"You, too, Johnny. And…kiss Lily-Rose for me, will you?"

"You got it, darlin!" There was that wonderful grin again!

And then, he drove away, back to his life, his Vanessa, his Lily-Rose. And me? Most times I think it was all a dream…that it didn't really happen. But every now and then, I receive a letter. No return address. Just a sweet letter thanking me yet again for my kindness, for the water that sustained him, for bolstering his spirits during that long night, for helping him return to his reasons for living. And it's signed, "Love, Johnny."

THE END
12/01/00

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