Hello Magazine, November 2, 1999

Interview: Jan Janssen © Feats

Johnny Depp on his real-life role as a father and the demons he's fought against most of his life.

Johnny Depp has always hung on to the faint hope that he would one day find some peace of mind, settle down and raise a family. Now, at the age of 36, he appears to have finally latched on to a semblance of stability.

He's currently living in Paris with French singer/actress Vanessa Paradis and the couple have just had their first child, four-month-old Lily-Rose. She represents the culmination of a long-standing dream for Johnny that he would lay down roots and give some order to his disorganised life.

"I come from a poor background and I know something about how families can disintegrate," Johnny explains. "That kind of experience makes you cynical about life and creating relationships that last. You tend to expect things not to work out. I can't say I've got rid of that bad attitude completely, but I have a good feeling that my relationship with Vanessa is going to last and that I'll be as good a father as I possibly can."

This is about as definite a declaration of parental responsibility as Depp can be expected to give. He's clearly happy about becoming a father, although the situation worries him inasmuch as life has told him not to expect much happiness.

Coming from a desperately poor Southern family, not even the security of a movie star's salary structure can alter his moody outlook on life. He enjoys acting as far as it permits him to meet interesting people, travel and live without fear of being on the street. But it doesn't give him total satisfaction.

Depp is the product of a typically dysfunctional American family which never gave its children any roots, values or advice on how to adapt to the world. The youngest of four ( two girls, two boys ), Johnny was born in Kentucky and grew up in Florida. He estimates that his family must have moved "about 30 times" when he was growing up and the itinerant lifestyle contributed heavily to a profound sense of dislocation in the world.

Depp affected a generally downcast demeanour from early adolescence onwards, working as a petrol-station attendant for much of that time to help his family survive. His only escape from a seemingly dead-end life was his music. He became an accomplished guitarist and his band would later gain enough acclaim to earn it a trip to Los Angeles. That trip marked the beginning of his acting career on the TV series 21 Jump Street, which turned him into a star at the age of 20.

But the scars of his childhood ran deep and Depp took little pleasure in being turned into a teen idol. "I hated being processed and fed to TV audiences. The show wasn't interested in being real or creative - it was just about making money and I was part of the sideshow."

That type of attitude has prevailed over Depp for most of his adult life. He wishes he could maintain a sense of humour about life in general and freely admits that he's his own worst enemy. "I don't think anyone outside of a few friends has the slightest idea of how caught up I get in my own negative moods. But it's a trap that I'm learning to climb out of."

The lingering despair of his childhood gives Depp ample psychological baggage to dredge up for his film roles What's Eating Gilbert Grape, Benny & Joon, Don Juan DeMarco and Jim Jarmusch's Dead Man are all examples of Depp reaching deep inside himself to create psychologically devastating character portraits. But it's the lingering anguish Depp brings to his vision of the world that seduces us.

I spoke to Johnny Depp in Paris recently, where we enjoyed a late breakfast - café au lait and croissants - at La Rotonde, where Picasso and Ernest Hemingway used to hang out. He arrived wearing a worn leather jacket, blue jeans and a checked shirt. He was smoking a cigarette - although he swears that he's going to quit, especially now there's a baby around the house.

Depp has three new films to be released in the UK over the next few months. First up is The Astronaut's Wife, co-starring Charlize Theron, about an astronaut who comes back from a mission deeply affected by a mysterious incident in space. Next in line are The Ninth Gate, a chilling occult drama directed by Roman Polanski, and Sleepy Hollow, which reunites Depp with his Edward Scissorhands director Tim Burton.

Johnny, did you ever expect to become a father?
"I've always wanted to start my own family, because I felt that one day I would like to do it right, to be a good father and create a good environment for a child. When I was growing up, I didn't have a very healthy family life - we were about as messed up as you could get. I always swore to myself that if I ever had children of my own, I would do things right.

"I saw a lot of kids and families suffering when I was growing up in the States, and Florida in particular. There's nothing more painful to watch than families falling apart, fathers screaming at mothers, children growing up to hate their parents and hating the world. If you know something about that, then you're not going to want to add to the misery that's out there. You're going to want to create some happiness and stability."

Were you surprised about how fast your relationship with Vanessa Paradis took hold?
"No. But whenever you start a new relationship, you never know what to expect. We got along right from the start and we managed to have a good time despite getting followed around a lot." You blew up at a restaurant in London earlier this summer [ actually it was in January, 1999 ].

Was that a product of the constant pressure from the paparazzi?
"I've always been a bit paranoid about people in general. If you add a pack of photographers who are always searching for you, you can understand how I feel about that. I've never hidden from the press, I've always done interviews, I've always supported my films, but I'm the kind of person who would rather be left alone when I'm not promoting a movie."

What does being a father mean to you?
"It means a lot. I want to support our child, I want to give her everything a father should give a child. But I'm still finding out about what that means.

"I want to try to keep my family life out of the public eye as much as possible, because nothing good can come from that kind of attention. For me it's very important that I keep that side of my life protected and keep our daughter away from the publicity machine."

Does having a family give you a greater sense of stability or security in the world?
"It gives you something to build on other than your own selfish desires. It's a huge responsibility that a lot of fathers don't take seriously but, no matter what people might think about me, I intend to be a very good father. And that means keeping as much of my private life hidden from public view as possible."

You gave the impression that you weren't a happy person in the past.
"I'm happier about my personal life now than I have ever been. But if I look out at the world, at what's going on, it's a grim picture out there. Most of my problems in life come from this generalised feeling of hopelessness.

"It bothers me that the world is such a pigsty, that society doesn't care about helping people who don't have jobs, that a lot of people suffer for no reason and that the rest of us don't have the power to help them. I've tried to help my own family and friends with some of the money I've earned as an actor, and at least I feel that I've done something for the people around me."

The Astronaut's Wife is a very moody, speculative film. Why were you interested in doing it?
"It's a good story and I was interested in playing a guy who is supposed to be an all-American hero and slowly we find out that he's not all he's cracked up to be.

"It was interesting to play someone with a Southern mentality, because people behave a lot differently there from the way people in New York or LA or the Midwest behave.

"Southern culture is very unique and there is something gentlemanly and suave about the way men behave. There's usually less bravado and a kind of respect for people and for women that men in other parts of the country don't have."

But it turns out that your astronaut has a few cracks in his armour?
"Yeah. Something happens to him while he's in space, during two minutes of radio silence while he's out repairing a satellite in space. No one knows what happened, but it's changed him and that's part of the film's intrigue."

There's a paranoid aspect to the film's atmosphere…
"I think that's really well done. An astronaut is kind of a symbol of Mom and apple pie and the American dream. Well, there are some holes in that vision of life and people should learn not to trust in something that seems too good to be true. It usually isn't. The public is often fed a lot of lies by politicians, and no one can speak the truth because that would upset the status quo and the system. Politics is based on being untruthful and most people today are a lot more sceptical an disbelieving than ever. That's a healthy state of mind, I think."

Does your own cynicism about life tend to feed most of your film roles?
"Sometimes. In Gilbert Grape I played a guy who was very close to my own way of thinking, who was living in circumstances that weren't that far from my own upbringing.

"But I'd prefer not to play characters like that too often, because it feeds my own worst thinking. I'd rather play someone who is different from me, because it's much easier to escape. That's part of the fun of acting, to allow your own fantasies to take over and get away from everything you hate about yourself. But at the same time it screws up your head for a while, because you have to erase your own personality and adopt someone else's."

Do you have serious self-doubts?
"I've always had problems with figuring out what I from life and how to keep a healthy perspective. I don't have a sunny disposition and I tend to be moody. I'd rather not be that way and I've improved a lot on that score. I'm one of those people who grew up feeling that the world is an empty place and that not a lot of good things happen."

Acting has given you financial security. Hasn't that helped change your perspective?
"Money doesn't buy you happiness and it doesn't buy you peace of mind. For most of my career I've turned down a lot more money than I've ever earned. I don't need to make $20 million a film, that's obscene. I'd rather take on interesting projects that say something about our world than just take the money. But you're always going to make compromises unless you have the power and talent to make exactly the sort of film you want to."

You've stated in the past that acting is probably the worst profession you could have chosen.
"An actor is obliged to keep changing his spot and keep jumping into a different personality and mindset every time he plays a new character. When I played Hunter S. Thompson in Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas, it took me a long time to stop imitating his mannerisms. So there is something kind of destabilising about being an actor - you're always playing games with your head, you usually work with different people on each film, and there isn't a sense of community when it comes to the profession. It's a lonely way to live."

Do you think that building a family of your own will help solve some of your problems?
"I don't know. Most of my life I've been fighting the demons that keep crawling around in my system. The last few years have been easier for me. I'm not worrying as much, I'm having more fun in life. I probably needed to get to that point before I met Vanessa and before we had our baby. But it's still a daily battle.

"I haven't found the big formula for being happy. I'm still working on that!"

Return to interview page Return to Depp home page