Village of Bob |
The third fastest responding news team for the village of Bob. We bring
you news from the lair of evil to the trees of goodness and from the
dairy to the cereal factory! You'll find everything you need to know
right here.
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Unknown man in top hat
The Village of Bob coroner's office responded to a tragic scene this
Thursday, finding all of the participants of the township top chess
tournament murdered and left with their queen pieces. |
Township Supreme Court |
When asked
for a quote the honorable Judge Lawson declined in favor of assisting a
retired group of elderly girl scouts across the street. A statue will be
erected in his honor next to the village's police department on January
9th, 2009. |
The Lustful City |
The Only Newspaper with the Village of Ted in Mind
You can count on us to be the first to break the news way after it's happened unless it's really daft. |
Village of Ted
in the news again for the right reasons Village of Ted wins the "Bloomiest Village" competition for the fourth year in a row. Never before has a town won this prize as many times in a row as Village of Ted has. Maybe this just goes to prove a point that no one in Village of Ted has got anything better to do with their time. Village of Ted Football Team lose 15 - 0 after hearing star player Doormat is missing. |
Ex-vice Mayor Tim Charged With Sheep Molesting |
Ex-vice mayor Tim from Village of Ted United States was yesterday
charged with molesting sheep. Mr. Tim was caught in a national park by
the famed detective Rolls who deduced the facts based on Mister Tim's
clothing and heritage. A neighbor added "I've known Ex-vice mayor since
he was a baby and have always had my doubts about them Tim's". Mr. Tim
is currently being held in The Darkham asylum for the chronically
insane. His father only released a brief statement, saying "He is truly
in love with Molly and plans to ask her to wait for him until he is
released." Molly was unavailable to comment on the situation. |
Dumbsville |
The number one
place for information about what is going on around you... and the only
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Miss Dumbsville 2007 Pageant a Success thanks to Taco Ball Dumbsville High's senior class of 03-06 cheered today at the revelation that their pageant would not be canceled. Former Miss Dumbsville 2000, saddened by the recent disappearance of her cat, came to the rescue by providing the pageant with her most recent employer, Taco Ball. Taco Ball only made one request, that the ending ceremonies be conducted while dressed as Taco Balls. Miss Dumbsville 2000 agreed on behalf of the students.
DumbAss. inc makes mint on Hoisters, CEO accidentally eats profits. The Corporate Executive officer of Dumbsville Assets Incorporated was taken to the local hospital today from copper and silver poisoning after he consumed all of the profits made from sales of his company's hoisters. The CEO's stomach was pumped and the profits were retrieved, but doctors were baffled to find a check book as well. The CEO responded he thought "checkolot" would go well with the mint. |
Extensive Planning in works for Falling Back this year. |
It is time to start batting down the hatches people, except for Misses Miller on forty third who must keep the hatches open so she may continue to use her outhouse. Daylight Savings Time will come to a start or end this upcoming fall, and doctors warn that there are more injuries during these events in Dumbsville than even last year's Broken Glass Menagerie fair.
Dumbsville's privately run Accident Suspension Support & Emergency
System suggests that Dumbsville citizens should wrap themselves up in
foam rubber and seran wrap after Matilda Honeystuffer called in
explaining she kept her pears and former husband from bruising that way
before he got his large hat. |