1. "Some people grow up and some just grow older." ~Darkwing Duck
  2. "I'm going insane and I'm taking you with me." ~Rebecca Cunningham
  3. "My dad said 'Go to my room', but he didn't say 'Stay'." ~Gosalyn Mallard
  4. "My door is always open, sometimes." ~Don Karnage
  5. "We never walked on the moon, Elvis ain't dead. You ain't goin' crazy, it's all in your head." ~"It's All in Your Head" by Tony Martin, Van Stephenson, and Reese Wilson
  6. "Remember kids, the world is not your friend." ~Safety Sammie
  7. "They called me crazy. They called me insane. They called me LOONEY! Boy, were they right." ~Megavolt
  8. "Noh. N-O-H." ~Mike Nelson (say this one out loud some day when you have company)
  9. "Never trust the quiet ones. They'll go bonkers and hole up in the principal's office." ~Helga G. Pataki
  10. "The world needs stupid people. They're like society's glue. You know, stupid glue." ~Cat
  11. "There are no stupid questions, just stupid people." ~Anthony DeMartino
  12. "Why settle for vanity when you can have pure egotism?" ~Jane Lane
  13. "Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed." ~Darkwing Duck
  14. "Friends are just enemies who don't have enough guts to kill you." ~Judy Tentua
  15. "I don't like to smile unless I have a reason." ~Daria Morgendorffer
  16. "You can never worry too much." ~Tulio
  17. "Trying is the first step towards failure." ~Homer Simpson
  18. "Don't tongue the reaper!" ~Crow T. Robot
  19. "She's weird, which results in creativity." ~Tom Servo
  20. "Bobo, if you harm a single one of God's precious creatures, so help me, I'll kill you!" ~Pearl Forester
  21. "Here's to risking your life in the interest of some national TV exposure." ~Joel Robinson
  22. "I swear, every time God gets bored, He looks down at me and thinks, 'Let's twist the screw of Becker's life just a little bit tighter'." ~John Becker
  23. "The cows are not what they seem." ~Launchpad McQuack
  24. "HO-ly Saint FRAN-cis!" ~Larry as Friar Lawrence "like [he] would really say it."
  25. "It's not frozen, it's just, like, ice." ~Anonymous idiot at PHS
  26. "I'll go to school and then resume my snoring/And get my sleep in class instead of in my bed" ~Daria Morgendorffer, "Morning in the Burbs"
  27. "Some were born to listen, some were born to play." ~Monty Powell and Jimmy Olander, "The Ballad of Conley and Billy (The Proof's in the Pickin')"
  28. "The only difference between a caprice and a lifelong passion is that the caprice lasts a little longer." ~Lord Henry Wotton
  29. "If I were dead, do you not think I would be the first to know?" ~Inspector Jaques Clouseau
  30. "Banana=not funny. Cheese=funny" ~An alleged note posted over everyone's workplace by the creators of Rocko's Modern Life
  31. “It’s really beautiful to see a man working on his puppet.” ~Michael J. Nelson in an interview on NPR in 1992
  32. "Don't get all realistic on me, smarty."~General Specific
  33. "I love acting. It is so much more real than life." ~Lord Henry Wotton
  34. "It's not denial. I'm just very choosy about the reality I accept." ~Calvin
  35. "Whoah, suddenly I wish I had every episode of Mystery Science Theater on tape!" ~Harvey after Sabrina turns him into a geek
  36. "It's alright to be manipulated, as long as you *know* you're being manipulated." ~Drake Mallard
  37. "I can't believe I'm missing Mystery Science Theater 3000 for this." ~Megavolt in C. Sparky Read's classic "Back to Basics"
  38. "Oh...your...god." ~Bender
  39. "See, if I really existed, I would have *such* an identity crisis." ~Gesture discussing our apparent invisibility and parrot-like behavior
  40. "I may be a rabbit, but I'm only human." ~Fallapart
  41. "By the powers vested in me by people who don't know any better..." ~Bonkers D. Bobcat
  42. "I like having low self esteem. Makes me feel special." ~Jane Lane
  43. "I'm always late. That's why I don't wear a watch. They depress me." ~Trent Lane
  44. "We are now entering [Tartarus]. Please keep your hands and arms inside the vehicle." ~Daria Morgendorffer
  45. "When you get an idea into your head you find it in everything." ~Pierre Gringoire
  46. "Did you know that, in some countries, if your children shame you, you're allowed to have them executed? Well I feel shamed." ~Harold Weir
  47. "I don't need another friend. I already have two. I mean, how many friends does a guy need?" ~Sam Weir
  48. "Teachers know who their students are, Jason." ~My Bio teacher reprimanding a guy in my class by the name of Brian. And she wasn't kidding.
  49. "We're older but no more the wise/We've learned the art of compromise/Sometimes we laugh, sometimes we cry/Sometimes we just break down." ~"Hey, Cinderella" by Suzy Bogguss, Matraca Berg, and Gary Harrison
  50. "Is it just me or does the whole world suck?" ~Lindsay Weir
  51. “I sense life has taken another sardonic twist." ~The Brain
  52. "Everybody's happy! Well, me. *I'm* happy. Everyone else is racked with pain. Nice." ~Hades
  53. "To call *you* stupid would be an insult to stupid people!" ~Wanda Gershwitz
  54. "'VOOM'?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't 'voom' if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!" ~Customer in the Monty Python Pet Shop sketch
  55. "Pinky, you have all the reasoning capabilities of dry wall." ~The Brain
  56. "I am invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me." ~Ralph Ellison
  57. "It had been remarked before that those who are sensitive to radiations in the far octarine - the eighth color, the pigment of the Imagination - can see things that others cannot." ~Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic
  58. "It was all very well going on about pure logic and how the universe was ruled by logic and the harmony of numbers, but the plain fact of the matter was that the Disc was manifestly traversing in space on the back of a giant turtle and the gods had a habit of going around to atheists' houses and smashing their windows." ~Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic
  59. "Well, let me have just a little bit of peril?" ~Sir Galahad
  60. "Guaranteed to solve every minor problem by turning it into a major disaster." ~Terry Pratchett about Rincewind
  61. "I've seen excitement, and I've seen boredom. And boredom was best." ~Rincewind
  62. "Are you dissin' mah closémon again?" ~Larissa in answer to the question "Do you believe in the Closet Monster?" on one of those email survey thingies
  63. “Let’s see…14 mile drop at something approaching the speed of light…We may be in for a rough landing, LP.” ~Darkwing Duck
  64. "I'm being punished for something, I know I am! What could I have done? I didn't ASK to see this movie!" ~Tom Servo
  65. "What gets into some civilizations?" ~Mike Nelson
  66. "Chinese checkers is a game of marbles and I've already lost most of mine." ~Grandpa Phil
  67. "That's it. I'm gonna die in gym class." ~Neal Schweiber
  68. "Can I shoot your gun?" ~Roger Miller when asked by a cop to see his driver's license
  69. "Are you dead?" ~A friend's glucometer when he tested water
  70. "Weighing on our minds was the fact that we had one female character and she was a dim-witted, cowlike creature played by a man." ~Michael J. Nelson about Gypsy's part in 207 - The Wild Rebels
  71. "No one goes mad quicker than a totally sane person." ~a shopkeeper in The Light Fantastic
  72. "People don't *live* on the Disc anymore than, in less hand-crafted parts of the multiverse, they live on balls. Oh, planets may be the place where their body eats its tea, but they *live* elsewhere, in worlds of their own which orbit very handily around the center of their heads." ~Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent
  73. "Beware the three-pronged fork!" ~Gwendolyn Lockwood
  74. "There is a such thing as an edible, nay delicious, meat pie floater, its mushy peas of just the right consistency, its tomato sauce piquant in its cheekiness, its pie filling tending even towards named parts of the animal. There are platonic burgers made of beef instead of cow lips and hooves... Even so, there is no excuse for putting pineapple on pizza." ~Terry Pratchett The Last Continent
  75. "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." ~Could it be...Inigo Montoya?
  76. "Beware the three-pornged frok." ~Robin
  77. "Beware the three-porned frog." ~Brittany
  78. "If we took the bones out, it wouldn't be crunchy, would it?" ~Mr. Hilton
  79. "It's only a model." ~Patsy, spoiling everyone's fun
  80. "We interrupt this program to annoy you and make things generally irritating." ~A BBC announcer in a Flying Circus sketch
  81. "Beware the three-horned frog." ~Elizabeth
  82. "You don't really know how much you can do until you stand up and decide to try." ~Dave Kovic
  83. "...if he turns me into a mummy, you're the first one I'm coming after.." ~Evelyn Carnahan
  84. "I think every American actor wants to be a movie star. But I never wanted to do stupid movies, I wanted to do films. I vowed I would never do a commercial, nor would I do a soap opera -- both of which I did as soon as I left the [Acting] Company and was starving." ~Kevin Kline
  85. "After all, a murder is a only an extroverted suicide." ~A criminologist in the Piranha Brother's Sketch
  86. "Sarcasm: Just one more service I offer." ~A bumper sticker Lily gave me for my birthday
  87. "If I ever meet myself, I'll hit myself so hard I won't know what's hit me." ~Zaphod Beeblebrox
  88. "You know, there are many people in the country today who, through no fault of their own, are sane. Some of them were born sane. Some of them became sane later in their lives. It is up to people like you and me who are out of our tiny little minds to try and help these people overcome their sanity." ~Reverend Arthur Belling, Vicar of St Loony Up The Cream Bun and Jam
  89. "What do you think; the plane is going to crash and we are all on the ground in a thousand pieces, dead? I promise you - if it happens, you won't feel a thing." ~Luc Teyssier
  90. "I get around as nature intended. In a car." ~Kate from French Kiss
  91. "A veritable magic kingdom of fun for the whole family." ~Darkwing Duck
  92. "I'm holding Brittany at pen point!" ~Gwendolyn Lockwood
  93. "She's like an older sibling. She represses me." ~Gwendolyn Lockwood about Gesture
  94. "Beware of ALL forks." ~Gwendolyn Lockwood
  95. "Being popular does NOTHING for your social status." ~Gesture
  96. "I got us mixed up. I forgot who I was for a second." ~Gesture
  97. "He had the most astounding collection of teeth. They looked as if each came from a completely different animal, and they were ranged around his mouth at such bizarre angles that if he ever actually tried to chew anything he'd lacerate half his own face along with it and possibly put an eye out as well." ~Douglas Adams about Agrajag
  98. "Mere animals couldn't possibly manage to act like this. You need to be a human being to be really stupid." ~Teppic
  99. "Heavens to Trademark Violations! I'm being plagiarized!" ~Daws Butler, in response to a bad Snagglepuss imitation
  100. "Strangers is one thing. It's family you've got to watch out for." ~Lou Pickles



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