Site hosted by Build your free website today!

Rating: NC17 overall
Disclaimer: Despite the numerous letters I’ve written, I still do not (legally) own any of the Buffy boys or girls.
Warnings/Squicks: AU, there will be underage sex and just a tiny, little whiff of d/s
Summary: Eh hem. Spike is a spoiled rich kid and Xander works for his family. Blame the bunny.
Feedback: Tell me what you think! Please!

Out of Bounds


Part One

The evening light spilled through the huge uncovered windows and the spectacular display of the acid orange sun sinking into the deep blue water splashed across the wall.

The sound of placid waves quietly slapping the rocks on their private beach and the smell of the brisk salty ocean wafted into the room to settle among the air. Again.

The murmur of chatter rippled occasionally across the table, gathering a few mumbled responses, but finally tapering back to the almost-silent, dull sounds of the other side of the window. Yes, again.

Spike sighed theatrically and shoved the rest of his steak around with a knife. So bloody boring. . .Don’t they get tired of doing the same thing day after day after sodding day? He dropped the utensil with a clatter. “May I be excused?” he mumbled mock-politely, already gathering his plate.

“Of course, William. But you need to play with your sister afterwards, she wants some company.”

“Aw, mum, don’t bloody make me!” He barely refrained from stamping a foot in frustration. “She’s eleven years old, for god’s sake! She shouldn’t still be playing with sodding dolls anyways!”

“Da, tell him to stop making fun of me!” Dru cried petulantly, lower lip protruding in the way that could make her father do anything she wanted him to.

Damn bastard and his damn soft spots, Spike mentally grumbled as he watched his da’s face transform into a puddle of goo at the sight of his pouting daughter. “Come on, William, she just wants someone to play with,” his father said gruffly, ruffling a hand through his daughter’s dark hair and conveniently not seeing the triumphant tongue poking out of her mouth at her glowering brother.

“Fine!” Spike threw up his hands. “I’ll play bloody dolls with her!” He stomped away as Daniel, their butler, quickly removed his plate from the table and hurried it to the kitchen.

Spike slouched on his bed, briefly gazing out the window and wishing it wasn’t too late to surf or take the Jet Ski out for a quick ride, but he could just hear his mother’s cries of outrage at being out after dark. What’s the point of being bloody rich if you can never enjoy it without being screamed at?

“William! I want to be the princess and you can be the servant!” Spike cringed at his sister’s voice calling from down the stairs. He gritted his teeth as her dark shining eyes came into view, a furiously pink doll already in hand.

Sixteen years old and I have to play with dolls. God so help me if I don’t become the queerest boy in the world.


Spike laid in his bed, sheets tangled at his feet in disuse as he stared at the ceiling. Sometimes he wished his father hadn’t been the one to invent the medicine. Yes, it was selfish of him, and without the medicine many cancer patients around the world would be in a lot worse state than if the breakthrough hadn’t—broke through, but Spike was a teenager so he was allowed to be selfish.

Just because your dad found that a substance in pig's blood reduces the extreme effects of chemotherapy, and that he immediately became filthy rich at the prospect, didn’t exactly lead to the trouble-free, happy days Spike had expected it to when they first moved into the huge California house by the private slice of sea. And yeah, they had butlers and maids and a whole staff to do every menial chore for them, and yeah he could basically buy whatever he wanted whenever he took fancy to something, and yeah people were always telling him how great their family was for ‘giving the world such a wonderful gift’, but the problem that resulted from all this luxury and respect and lack of difficulty was just the thing that Spike was finding the worst problem of all. . .boredom.

Spike didn’t exactly make friends easily. He could if he wanted to; everyone at school wanted to be friends with the rich guy, and he was good-looking and okay at sports, but he lacked a certain. . .kindness that people tend to respond to. He was more likely to snap at his teachers and smoke during gym class than be the perfect little Angel-junior his dad had envisioned. Not because of insolence or arrogance like most people thought, but simply out of boredom.

Spike could have anything he wanted, and thus wanted nothing. He didn’t need to work for anything, so he had no goals. He didn’t desire anything that was beyond his reach, so he had no determination. He could do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted (unless after dark, ‘cause mum’s stern that way) and no one would give a flying fuck.

Spike growled in frustration and kicked the air. I need some sort of distraction, or danger! Something exciting and secretive! I need something—

A knock at the door interrupted his mental rant. “What?!”

A head peaked through the door, shaggy dark hair falling into equally dark eyes. “Um. . .your mother said to collect the laundry, sir.” Spike nodded absently and the recently hired man walked in and began collecting the scattered clothing around his room, bundling it into a thick bronzed arm. Spike felt an idea form in his mind as the large man bent over to pick up a crumpled pair of boxers. The realization finally clicked and Spike felt a bright light switch on in his head. The missing element in his perfect life had walked in and bent over in his face. Spike felt his lips turn up into a wicked grin as the scruffy man disappeared out the door with a nod and the word he’d sought for slid easily into focus.

Out of bounds.

Part Two

Xander sighed and straightened up, mopping the sweat off his brow with the hem of his shirt. He cupped a hand over his eyes and looked up at the sky then glanced down at his watch. 1:20. Xander had been working since 8 that morning, mowing the huge lawn, tending to the colorful flowers blooming thickly all around the house, and now putting new mulch around the flowers, trees, and shrubbery bordering the house.

But he’d known what he’d gotten himself into when he’d applied for the job, and the pay was nothing short of miraculous (to him, at least), so he was trying not to complain too loud in his head. At least he family is nice, he reflected, ripping open another heavy bag of mulch, except for the blonde kid. That guy had problems, Xander had decided when he once saw him ripping the head off a doll and chucking it into the ocean. But the parents were reasonably kind and treated him like a friend instead of a paid worker.

The girl was a little loopy too, but Xander attributed that to her age, even if she did look a little strange talking to the sky out her window at night. But the boy was witty and clever, not slightly nuts like his sister, so his rudeness and cutting sarcasm were nothing other than a spoiled rich brat’s attitude. Xander personally couldn’t stand people like that, so he avoided the son whenever possible.

The dad, Liam (or Angel as the press had nicknamed him) was polite if slightly depressing to be around. If he was sober. He was a large man with dark hair and sad dark eyes and Xander found it amazing the resemblance between father and daughter. But he rarely saw Angel, as he was always locked away in the lab in the basement or off to some conference or other. Xander could see the effects of his absence on the rest of the family, although they hid it fairly well. He, of course, knew the signs of a negligent father and sympathized with his wife and kids.

The wife and mother, Darla, was a very pretty woman with delicate features and bright golden hair that reminded Xander of his ex-girlfriend, Anya. She was usually quiet except when her kids were involved, then it was all ‘William, stop that!’ and ‘Dru, cats aren’t supposed to wear clothes!’ She was a very caring mother, if slightly over-protective. Xander accounted that to the fact that she had nothing else to do in life except lay back and watch other people work for her. Other people being Xander, in this case.

William, or Spike as he had growled at Xander to call him, took completely after his mother, thin and blonde with fine features and a shaggy curly mass of golden hair, although it was practically bleach-white from being out in the sun so much. His odd inability to tan, however, left Xander baffled. William (or Spike) was not quiet like his mother, though, and when his mouth was not sucking a cigarette or gulping down expensive imported beers he stole from his dad’s refrigerator, it was yapping or snarling or barking incessantly like a high Chihuahua.

He was clever, though, Xander noticed as he watched Spike easily get out of tending to his sister and other chores he didn’t feel he was low enough for. And it killed Xander that he felt a speck or respect for the kid, even slightly envious of his quick-thinking. Xander felt it was entirely unfair that the spoiled brat got the brains when tons of other people (namely, him) actually had to work for their money and had been denied the gift of craftiness.

Xander grunted and yanked the 50 pound bag up onto his shoulder as he carried it to the small tree, and began dumping the mulch around it in a circular path, smoothing it out with a rake when he was finished. By the time that tree and three more were finished, sweat was pouring off him in waves and his arms were starting to ache. He usually liked them to ache a bit, in his last job at the construction site it had made him feel good and like he was accomplishing something. Here it was just sticky and too damn hot.

“Xander?” He looked up to see Mrs. Beck poking her head out the sliding glass doorway. “Have you even eaten yet?” She asked, concerned.

“No, ma’am,” he replied, wiping his dirty sweaty hands on his jeans. Now that he thought of it, though, his stomach growled in neglect.

“Well come on in, we’re just finishing lunch.” She slid the door shut and Xander watched her walk over to the counter. He shrugged and tried to wipe most of the grime off his hands and face, walking toward the house with his stomach growling in anticipation.

He almost moaned in relief as cool air blasted him in the face when he walked through the door. Xander closed his eyes for a moment to savor it and when he opened them saw Spike sitting at the table staring oddly at him. Xander blinked in embarrassment and turned to Mrs. Beck who was placing a delicious-looking sandwich on the table. “Hope you like—” But his stomach caught her off with an excited rumble before she could even say the type of sandwich, and she laughed. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

He walked over to the sink to wash his hands then dropped into the seat behind the plate of food, which was incidentally right across from Spike, and had inhaled the delicious sandwich in a matter of minutes. He sucked a mayo-covered finger into his mouth and let it out with a sharp ‘pop!’ Dru giggled in the corner and Spike cocked an eyebrow with an amused expression on his face.

“It’s so hot outside, you must have been sweating terribly,” Mrs. Beck remarked from the window.

“Yeah, I was thinking about taking a swim when I finish laying the rest of that mulch.” Xander crunched on salty potato chips and took a sip of cold Coke. “That beach is really handy.”

“That does sound like a good idea. . .William, why don’t you go with him? You can take the Jet Ski out after.”

Spike shrugged, bright blue eyes watching Xander in a way that made him decidedly uncomfortable. “Sure, why not,” he said neutrally and why did that give Xander a funny little sinking feeling inside?

“You don’t mind, do you Xander?” Spike’s mother asked, turning to him.

“No, of course not, ma’am,” He replied. Just as long as the brat doesn’t come within 10 feet of me, we’re good.

“Thank you. And please call me Darla,” She told him again and he nodded, smiling.

“Sure, ma’am.” He’d always called his authority figures ‘sir’ or ‘ma’am’, a habit forced into him by his father that had yet to dissipate at age 25. Xander put his plate on the counter for Daniel to get and walked back into the yard and smoldering sun. He’d only worked here for a couple of weeks and it was already beginning to feel familiar and comfortable. He heard the door slam behind him and tried not to wince. “Oi, hurry up wanker, I need help pullin’ the Jet out.”

Yes, all the comforts of home, he mused, picking up another heavy smelly bag and slinging it over his shoulder.


By the time he had finished laying the rest of the mulch his shirt was off and he was panting like a dog. He had practically turned and ran into the ocean yelling “Water! Sweet, water!” several times, but was stopped by the fact that he needed to get this stupid chore over with.

Spike was lounging in a chair on the deck, watching him struggle and sweat, decidedly not-helping. “’Bout bloody time,” he mumbled when Xander had finished, jumping to his feet and starting towards the water. Xander was already halfway there, jogging and dropping his pants on the way. He ran past the place where grass met sand and hurtled through the air to land in the water wearing only his boxers. He plunged under, feeling the cool water wash over him and relieve the terrible heat. He came up to breathe, letting out a whoop and pushing the hair out of his eyes with a hand to see Spike stripping down to his swim trunks, watching Xander and not bothering to hold in a snort.

“Hey, you try working your ass off all day in the hot sun and then we’ll talk, mister!” He called, feeling in a much better mood than before. Even Spike couldn’t ruin the glorious cool water.

“Then what would we need you for, prat?” The boy called back, wading into the water up to his waist.

“To wipe your nose when you sneeze and put you down for your nap,” Xander grinned, treading water and moving closer to the still half-dry blonde.

Spike glared at him but there was a hint of a grin behind it. “Don’t forget to bathe me, Xanny the Nanny.” He snorted at his own joke.

“I was just getting around to it.” Xander pulled back his arm and let loose a huge splash of water, knocking the boy back to fall on his ass and sputter underwater.

“Bloody hell!” He scrambled back up, spitting out sea water and glaring blue daggers at Xander. “Oh, it’s on.”

He sprayed the older man right back and they engaged in a deadly Splashing War.


Xander was disappointed to find that the second they were of the water, Spike was back to his annoying brattish self. He made Xander lug the Jet ski off of the ramp himself while he stood back and watched.

“There, it’s lowered, you just need to start it and back it out.” Xander turned to face the blonde who was standing decidedly closer than he had been a few seconds ago, grinning in a disconcerting wicked way. Xander felt the urge to back up but he was at the end of the pier and had just changed his pants. “Okay?” Xander didn’t get an answer save an icy blue-eyed caress of his bare chest. And the tongue peeking out of white teeth gave Xander a very uncomfortable feeling in his chest.

Part Three

Spike carefully laid down the fluffy white towel, spreading it so that there were no lumps and making sure no rocks were underneath it. He then stood up and stretched, closing his eyes and throwing his head back, soaking in the warm sun on his bare skin. He peeked out of the corner of his eye and saw Xander glance up at him from his spot by the flowerbed. Ignoring the grin that wanted to tug at his lips, Spike picked up the bottle of suntan lotion and flicked open the cap. He held it up in one hand and squirted it into the other, the bottle making slightly obscene squick noises as it shot a stream of creamy lotion into Spike’s hand.

He set the bottle down next to his towel in the sand and, after risking another glance to make sure Xander’s gaze was still aimed in his direction, began slowly rubbing the oily lotion into his skin. He started with his arms, stretching them out to the longest length they would reach and rubbing the lotion into the skin until it was soft and cool. Then he began making circles on his shoulder until his hands slid down to his chest, rubbing in the lotion with both hands and feeling his nipples harden under them.

In his peripheral vision he could see Xander freeze at his spot by the flowers, where he was supposed to be weeding, and watch Spike as he rubbed the rest of the lotion into his abdomen. The boy then sat down on the towel, stretching out one leg and running his hands down from his ankle to the hem of his swim trunks, repeating the process with the other leg until almost all of his body was covered and slick.

Spike reached over and picked up the bottle again, squirting another stream of white cream into his hand and reached behind to rub it into his back, using one hand and then the other to reach. He’d debated pretending not to be able to reach and asking Xander for help, but he wanted the man to get a show without audience participation. It made the whole thing feel more off-limits, and off-limits was exactly the thing Spike sought.

The blonde finally stopped massaging himself and flipped over onto his stomach. He stretched out and put his hands under his cheek, squeezing his eyes almost shut but peeking out at Xander through his eyelashes. The man was a good twenty feet away but his expression was easy to read. Spike tried hard not to grin when he saw a burst of color appear in Xander’s cheeks as he quickly resumed his job. But he kept sneaking glances at the sunning boy before hastily looking back down at the weeds he was yanking from the ground.

Spike was far too self-satisfied to feel bad about teasing the man. He had started on that day when they went swimming, giving long slow looks at the bronze skin on his naked torso and little grins and enticing glances under his eyelashes. He was sure he was driving the man crazy the way he kept stuttering in his presence and diverting his eyes when Spike only wore his swimsuit. A permanently wary and confused expression was fixed on his face whenever Spike was in the vicinity.

Spike, for his part, was enjoying himself to no end. Flirting with the hired man when his parents weren’t around had become his favorite hobby. And the best part was, he had all the time in the world to drive Xander into a tizzy of sexual frustration. The summer had barely started and each day was more perfect than the last, ensuring hours of swimming, sunbathing, and outdoor sports, all of which included a half-naked Spike.

Xander had given up on modesty and decided to go bare-chested too, to Spike’s utter delight, because the heat was so stifling. Spike’s days were full of watching the heavily bronzed man labor under the hot sun, sweat dripping off his muscles as he handled machinery and worked on the yard. Even now, Spike felt his erection press into the towel as he watched Xander grunt, his muscles bulging as he pulled out a weed the size of a small tree, and wiping the sweat off his forehead with his arm since the gloves he was wearing were streaked with dirt.

Spike shifted as the pressure on his hard on became uncomfortable and finally flipped onto his back. When he pulled his knees up, his swimsuit bunched up at his crotch and managed to hide the bulge. He put his hands back under his head and closed his eyes against the sun, feeling the warmth seep into his bare chest.


Xander didn’t know what was happening. The stupid blonde kid was driving him insane. At first he thought he was just imagining it, the furtive glances and teasing smiles, but this? Xander quickly adjusted himself in his jeans when he saw the boy close his eyes. Spike was definitely up to something.

Xander didn’t know why he was so wound up, anyways. He’d always felt some attraction for other men, but never to the point of such frustration. The only sexual experience with another guy he’d ever had was in high school with Larry, and they both had been having an identity crisis at the time. Larry had accepted that he was gay and Xander had accepted that he. . .wasn’t exactly straight.

He’d never felt a strong urge to explore what he’d given up on in school before; he’d had Willow and Anya since then. But then Willow had her gay-now discovery and Anya had left him to pursue her career as a lawyer, leaving Xander practically broke and homeless since he had been living in Anya’s apartment and had soon after been fired from his job at the construction site for missing too many days.

He’d been desperate for work and money when he spotted an ad in the paper for hired help. He’d realized that the hired help was for the famous Beck family only after he’d arrived at the mansion, and had fully expected to be turned down for the job. But Angel and Darla had surprised him by hiring him for outdoor work and occasionally indoor chores when it was needed. Xander felt right at home with the physical labor and didn’t mind the infrequent dish-washing or laundry-gathering. And he’d saved up enough to buy a tiny apartment of his own so he didn’t have to mooch off Willow and Tara anymore.

He’d loved the job and the pay. . .up until now.

It was so wrong though. He couldn’t believe he was lusting after William Beck, bratty rich kid whom he was 9 years his senior. It was very wrong.

Xander glanced up at the boy sunning himself on the beach, pale chest not-quite defined over a lean body, and just a dusting of wispy blonde hairs in a trail down from his navel. Xander shivered.

So very wrong.

Part Four

“William, come play dolls with me!”




“Daddy’s says yes!”

“Daddy’s not even here, Dru. He’s at ‘work.’”

“Why d’you say it like that, William,” Dru sidled up next to him, clutching her doll. “‘Work?’”

“Because I’m making fun of him.”

Dru gasped. “Why are you making fun of Daddy?”

“Because he’s not really working.” Spike stood up and ignored Dru’s annoying battery of questions. “Why don’t you call up one of your little friends to play?” He said, changing the subject.

“They don’t want to play with me anymore,” Dru replied petulantly. “They say I’m weird for playing with dolls.” She hugged the floppy body to her chest as if shielding it from the words.

“Well, you are a bit old. . .but there’s nothing wrong with it,” he hastily added, seeing her death ray directed at him. “Why don’t you go. . .play with mum’s makeup or something.” He mumbled, wanting to get back to his own games. He glanced out the window and saw Xander watering the flowers. The man leaned over to reach an especially far patch and his jeans sagged a bit in the back, boxers sliding down to reveal the top part of his ass. Spike cock twitched in his jeans.

“Go on, then. Get out of my room.”

“Fine!” She cried, turning and stomping away, slamming the door behind her. Spike sighed in relief, not bothering to make sure his door was locked before resuming his spying. He’d planned on going back down and continuing his flirting, but with such a nice view...

Spike licked his lips as he watched a drop of sweat roll down Xander’s well tanned back. His room was on the second floor and hard to see in from outside because the sun reflected off of it. He had a perfect view of Xander but the man couldn’t see him.

Spike watched the large muscles stretch and bulge as he tugged the hose around a corner. His cock jumped more in his pants and he trailed a hand down his bare abdomen, sliding it into the waistband of his jeans. His eyes remained glued on the working man as his other hand came to play with hardened nipples, tweaking and scratching with a fingernail.

Spike’s breathing hitched as Xander paused and looked right and left, presumably searching to see if anyone was looking. Spike leaned forward to watch as Xander lifted the hose and flung his head back, holding the nozzle up above his body so the water sprayed down at him.

Spike gasped and his hand reached down to grasp his cock as he watched the water stream down Xander’s dark hair and sweaty chest, dribbling down his abdomen and into his jeans. Xander brought the nozzle to his mouth and took a few gulps of cold water before spraying some more down his side, arching his back as the cool water ran down it and mixed with the sweat.

Spike was panting, one hand harshly pinching his nipples as he watched Xander shake his head like a dog and droplets mist through the air. His other hand had shoved down his pants and boxers and was roughly tugging on his leaking cock, milky white precum dribbling over his finger as they slid back and forth over the hot shaft.

Xander then closed his eyes, stretching out his arms, happy to get more relief from the smothering heat. Spike’s eyes darted down to see little sparkling droplets like gems sprinkled in the thick trail of hair leading down into Xander’s jeans, and with a loud moan he was gone, back arching as pleasure wracked his body and hot spurts of cum splattered onto his wall.

Spike stumbled back, gasping, onto his bed. His jeans were around his ankles, effectively hobbling him, and his arms were flung out on his cool sheets. “Bloody hell.

And that was just from *watching* him. Imagine if-

He shivered and made up his mind.

Imagine when.

Spike lay there, catching his breath and basking in the afterglow of the amazing orgasm, but eventually he decided he’d have to clean the cum off the wall before it dried. He kicked off his pants and boxers (they had gotten some of the result of his spying on them, too) and grabbed a handful of Kleenex off of the nightstand.

After he was finished wiping the sticky fluid off the wall, he glanced out the window to see what Xander was doing now. But the yard was empty, hose coiled properly back into its place by the air conditioner. Spike shrugged, tossing the wadded tissues into wastebasket. He picked up his boxers and jeans, walking toward the laundry basket on the other side of the room.

Spike’s back was turned when there was a quick knock on the door, followed by the sound of the knob turning and door swishing open. “Mrs. Beck told me to collect-”

Spike froze, whipping around to stare a damp, wide-eyed Xander in the eye. He stood there, naked and holding his cum-stained boxers with the room reeking of his orgasm.

Part Five

Xander tapped the side of the yellow seat with a finger. It was unnaturally quiet in the large cavernous garage and he took the time and silence to sift through his racing thoughts. He still couldn’t believe he’d walked in on-


Okay, he hadn’t walked in on him actually *doing* it, but definitely right after. What was he supposed to do? Forget it? Joke about it with the kid? Act like it never happened?

Xander so far had opted to go with the last one. Surely if someone had walked in on him— doing that, he’d want to block it out of his memory for the rest of his life. Unless. . .

What if he had meant for Xander to walk in? The boy had, after all, been giving him quite a few hints in that direction. Sure, he’d seem pretty mortified at the time, but maybe that was just an act.

Xander’s finger stopped tapping the tractor seat and gripped the side of it.

And if Spike had meant for Xander to walk in on him. . .what did that mean exactly? If Spike were to proposition him. . .what should he do?

The obvious answer was to flat out refuse, which was what the reasonable part of his brain was shouting. Spike was 16, Xander was 25. He worked for the kid. He called him ‘sir’ for god’s sake. It was just all very. . .wrong.

And that was exactly why another part of his brain (incidentally the part that controlled most movement below the waist) immediately jumped at the idea. The boy was sexy, no doubt; shaggy blonde hair and wicked blue eyes above cheekbones as sharp as cut glass. Not to mention that accent and his very lickable pale, pink nipples. . .

Xander jerked his head, desperately trying to rid it of the mutinous thoughts. No! It just wasn’t right! It was illegal, even!

Xander sighed, reaching down and starting the tractor. A loud steady growl filled the garage as he pulled out and turned toward the yard. He glanced over and saw a small shape zipping across the ocean with a spray of water spitting up behind it. Thankfully the Jet Ski was far enough away so Xander wouldn’t be distracted by Spike and his evil, evil teasing.

By the time he was finished mowing the giant yard he was more than ready for lunch. Mrs. Beck had told him to come in whenever he got hungry and help himself, and Xander wasn’t one to disobey. He slid open the door and stepped through, spotting Daniel, the butler, also eating lunch.

Xander had begun to seriously question the judgment of Mr. and Mrs. Beck in the realm of employment when he first met Daniel. The man was about his age, maybe a bit younger, with permanently half-lidded eyes and spiky hair that was constantly changing colors. Xander could also swear that he caught frequent whiffs of marijuana when he passed the guy. But it turned out Daniel was really nice, if not very talkative. He had a calming air about him and Xander felt relaxed when in his presence, even though he did feel slightly buzzed when he walked away.

Xander picked up a sandwich off a plate full of them, probably made by the cook, Andrew, and sat down beside Daniel. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Daniel sipped his Coke and stared out at the ocean. Xander mentally shrugged and did the same.

They were quiet for a while before Daniel said unexpectedly, “There something going on between you and the blonde?”

Xander nearly choked on his sandwich. He wasn’t sure what had surprised his more, Daniel initiating a conversation, or Daniel initiating a conversation about that.

What?! No! There’s not — why, does it seem like that?” Xander asked, intrigued to know that he wasn’t the only one that had noticed Spike’s behavior. “Have you noticed him. . .you know, sort of. . .flirting with me?”

Daniel looked at him with his calm eyes and Xander wished he could see things through a screen of indifference and drugs like the butler did. “Yup.”

Xander sighed, slightly happy to know that he wasn’t crazy and hallucinating, but now he was faced with the fact that Spike was, in fact, coming on to him. The universe hates me.

“What should I do?” Xander asked miserably, propping his head onto his hand and watching the tiny figure of the Jet Skit zip across the water. Daniel glanced at him, one eyebrow raised as if to say ‘It’s obvious.’ But Xander wasn’t doing too well with the obvious lately.

“Go for it.”

Daniel had walked out of the room before Xander’s mind registered the words. His jaw dropped. Go for it? *That* was the wise advice from all-knowing Daniel? Xander couldn’t help but let out a mirthless chuckle. That’s the last time I ask a stoner for help.


When Xander arrived back at his apartment, he was greeted by the landlord outside his door with his arms crossed over his chest and a very nasty expression on his face. “You’ve got to leave.”

Xander gaped at him. “What?!” He asked incredulously for the second time that day.

“I heard this thing yapping when I was going downstairs.” He opened the door to Xander’s apartment and Cordy poked her little wet nose out of it, tiny toenails scrabbling on the floor as she attempted to run to Xander. He crouched down and held out his arms as the little Westie jumped onto him and began bathing his face in tiny licks. “But she’s so small and-”

“Unh uh, no pets, no excuses. I expect you cleaned out by Thursday.” The landlord walked away leaving a crestfallen Xander and excitedly yipping Cordy behind. Oh, fuck.


“I’m so sorry, Mr. Beck, but I can’t afford any other apartment of my own and I can’t mooch off my friends here anymore. I need to move back to Sunnydale to stay with my brother Jesse until I get back on my feet. I can’t work for you anymore.”

Xander was surprised at how much he regretted not being able to work for them anymore. The family was really starting to grow on him, even if this did solve his little problem with the boy. He glanced over and was shocked to see unmasked disappointment on Spike’s face, which he quickly transformed into his usual indifferent smirk when he noticed Xander’s attention.

“Wait. . .you just need a place to stay?” Angel asked, dark eyes concerned and obviously disappointed. They were in the gigantic main room, a big screen plasma TV took up one half of the wall and comfy electrically reclining couches and squashy chairs were seated around it. A large sparkling crystal chandelier hung above them on the high ceiling, reflecting the light in a number of colors. Xander had gotten over his original awe and awkwardness about being in the overwhelming house and nodded to the man’s question.

To his surprise, Angel grinned in relief. “Well that’s not a problem.” He said, dismissing Xander’s concern with a wave of his hand. “We have plenty of room!”

Xander gawked at him when the words registered. “Wh – you mean, live here?” He asked in disbelief.

“Sure, why not? We have tons of empty rooms we don’t even know what to do with, and you’re a great hand. I don’t think we could find someone else as experienced as you who would settle for the pay we give you.”

‘Settle’ wasn’t the word Xander would have used. It was more than he’d ever made in his life. “I, um, don’t know when I could pay you back for rent and stuff.”

Angel held up a hand again. “It’s no problem, really. You’re a nice guy and we’d love to have you around more.”

Xander shook his head, still not quite believing his luck. “Wow, I don’t know what to say.”

“How about ‘Show me my room’?”

Xander grinned. “That’ll work!” This was great! “Oh.” Xander stopped, remembering why he’d been kicked out of his apartment in the first place. “I kind of have a puppy and she was a gift from my friend so I really don’t want to give her—”

“What kind of dog?”

“A Westland terrier. Her name’s Cordelia.” Xander didn’t mention that she was a bit high maintenance.

“Dru will love her,” Angel replied, smiling. “Come on, we have a great room right next to William’s. . .”

Part Six

Spike couldn’t believe his luck. He’d been crushed at first when Xander had told them he had to leave. He’d watched his magnificent plans crumble before his eyes. But his dad had intervened and saved the day, for which Spike was happy about for once. Usually the whole hero routine was bloody annoying but it had actually come in handy this time. Xander was living with them and his room was right next to Spike’s! It couldn’t get any better!

Spike had been humiliated at first after Xander had walked in on him in his room, but he’d gotten over it fairly quick. At least the man had looked like he liked what he saw, so can’t complain there. He just wondered if Xander realized he’d been wanking while watching Xander work. A part of him half-hoped he did, but he wasn’t sure he wanted the man to realize his interest just yet. He had to be the perfect seducer and have the most inescapable scenario that would be sure to hook the man’s desire.

Spike wasn’t quite sure what the scenario would be exactly, but he had a few ideas. . .

He walked into the kitchen and was surprised to see Xander crouched with his head and arms under the sink. He stepped closer and saw the man using an instrument to tighten something. “What are you doin’?”


Xander jerked up with surprise and slammed his head on a metal pipe. He fell backwards, groaning and clutching his head.

Spike immediately dropped down beside him, eyes wide with concern and guilt at having startled him. “Are you okay? ‘Course your bloody not, I’ll get some ice. I-I’m sorry.” He pulled a plastic baggie out of a cabinet and ran to the freezer to fill it with ice. Xander rubbed the bump on his head and brought his fingers down to look at them, seeing a tiny smudge of blood. Spike froze when he saw it. He’d always been a bit squeamish about blood, but settled down beside him anyways.

“I’m r-really sorry,” he apologized again, eyes looking at everything but Xander.

“It’s okay,” The man laughed. “Don’t worry, I don’t think they’ll need to amputate my head.”

Spike glanced up at him, blue eyes wide and after a moment he smiled shyly, those compatible moments from playing in the water at the beach returning to them. “Here,” Spike reached over and pressed the ice pack to the bump on Xander’s head. Xander grinned. “Thanks. Feels good.”

Spike felt a warm flush spreading over his cheeks and he quickly stood, breaking the moment. Bloody hell, I don’t blush.

Xander stood after a moment too. “I was fixing the pipes. There was a little leak. I just finished, though.”

“Oh. Good.” Spike replied blandly, turning his back and walking to the counter to get breakfast. It was then he realized both he and Xander were still in their pajamas. He glanced over and noted the plaid boxers and white undershirt with a grin. He himself was only wearing pajama bottoms. Black silky ones with Jack Skellington all over them. He felt another blush creeping up but Xander didn’t seem to notice his apparel, or if he did, he must like Nightmare Before Christmas and withheld comment.

“You eat yet?” He asked, picking a sticky cinnamon roll off of the plate and carrying it to the table. He sat down opposite of Xander and was glad they were the only ones up yet. Lots of time for fun.

“Um. . .no.”

“Help yourself,” Spike waved in the direction of the rolls and took a bite of his, hot sticky cinnamon coating his lips as he did. Xander got his own and by the time he was back in his seat, Spike’s fingers and mouth were covered in delicious glaze.

Spike peeked over at Xander through his eyelashes as his tongue poked out and swirled over his lips a few times, gathering the residue of cinnamon. He saw the man freeze before he could take a bite of his own roll, eyes trained on the boy. Spike’s eyes fluttered shut as he brought one hand up to his mouth, sliding a finger between his lips and sucking and licking the sticky glaze off of it. He pulled it out with a slurp and then continued the process with each finger on both hands until, with the last finger still in his mouth, he opened his eyes to look up at Xander, who hadn’t moved a muscle (well, maybe one) since the time Spike had closed his eyes. Spike knew how much sucking like this accentuated his cheekbones and he held it for a moment before popping the finger out of his mouth.

“They’re good,” he replied off handedly, standing up and fetching a napkin to wipe the saliva off his fingers.

“I – um – y-yeah,” Xander took a large bite of his roll and swallowed a bit too hard. Spike grinned above his napkin, with his back turned to the man. This is easier than I thought it’d be.

He turned to see that Xander had finished the cinnamon roll and was holding his hands up with fingers spread, trying not to get the glaze anywhere. “Could you get me a napkin?” He asked around the last bite before swallowing. Spike shook his head with a ‘tsk.’

“No, you can’t do it like that.” He strode over to the sitting man and grasped his wrist in one hand, bringing a finger to his mouth. He slid the man’s finger past his lips, bringing his tongue down to swirl around it and lick the sides. He let it slide back out with a wet sound, smacking his lips and tasting cinnamon. “You gotta do it like that,” He said, turning and leaving the shocked man with a huge grin.


Dru picked up Cordy and set her on the couch, giggling when the puppy licked her nose. “So pretty, I wish I had snow-hair.” She said mournfully, petting the dogs silky fur and smiling when she let out a happy whine.

“Well who knows, you might someday,” Spike replied absently, flipping through channels on the TV. He would pause for 30 seconds on an interesting show then go through twenty more before he did it again. It annoyed the hell out of his da so he had made it a habit.

Xander walked through the kitchen door and into the living room with his shirt off, having worked all day until evening outside. He paused at the couch to give Cordy a kiss on the top of her head which she responded to with a furious wagging of her stubby white tail. Spike glanced over at him and smirked. “What, don’t we get kisses too?”

“Yes, me too!” Dru jumped to her feet and looked up at him expectantly.

Xander laughed and did a what-the-hell shrug. “Of course, ma’am, step right up.”

Dru giggled when he called her ma’am, as she always did, and hopped onto the couch. Cordy growled at having feet in her personal space. Xander took Dru’s face in his hands and planted a soft quick kiss on her cheek. She squealed and dropped back down next to Cordy, scooping the dog into her hands as she blushed.

Spike raised a brow, interested to see how Xander would handle him. But to his surprise the man walked out of the room without another word. Spike scowled, feeling very cheated. After a moment he stood, telling Dru to go take the dog out for a walk, which she happily obliged. His mom was out shopping with friends and wouldn’t be back until late, and his dad was out of town for a ‘meeting.’ Daniel, Andrew, and the maids had already gone home, so Spike and Xander would be alone in the house for at least an hour. And Spike was never one to waste a good opportunity. It’s now or never.


Xander was just about to start the shower when he heard the door to his room open. He paused then turned and walked out of the bathroom. “Is there something-” He watched Spike lock the door behind him.

“-I can do for you, sir?” Xander now wished he had started that sentence a little differently because he really didn’t want to know what the boy wanted him to do for him.

“Actually, yeah.” A grin stretched across Spike’s face, bright blue eyes watching him wickedly. Spike started to stalk toward him, sexy grin still in place and growing bigger every step he took. Xander began to back up until his butt hit the bed, strangely feeling both a sinking and rising feeling at the same time. “Oh, um, r-really?” He watched the approaching boy with mounting apprehension.

“Yeah. What about my kiss?” Spike was now in inch from Xander, seduction oozing from every pore as he trailed his eyes over the man’s half-naked body lustily before returning his gaze to Xander’s coal-dark one.

Xander couldn’t help but lick his lips at the thought and Spike reciprocating one made his cock twitch hard in his jeans. Daniel’s words flashed through his mind as he held his breath. And all the doubts and reasoning were there, too, but they weren’t flashing in neon letters like the butler’s. Well, it’s now or never. He closed his eyes and closed the short distance between them, pressing his lips to the boy’s. Spike leaned into him, deepening the kiss and sliding his tongue into Xander’s mouth. The contact caused their erections to press against each other, and Spike moaned into Xander mouth before breaking away. Xander breathing was slightly ragged, desperately clinging to that last thread of control and sanity in his mind.

“There’s just one rule,” Spike said, slowly sliding a hand into Xander’s pants as he stared him in the eye. The boy leaned forward to whisper hotly in his ear. “Keep calling me sir.”

Part Seven

Xander squeezed his eyes shut and bit back a moan as his hands fisted themselves into the sheets behind him on the bed. Spike had his hand in his pants and was slowly rubbing the growing bulge in his boxers. Xander fought the urge to thrust into the boy’s hand as his mind screamed at him to push him away and lock the door. This couldn’t be happening. He could not be getting a hand job from his sixteen-year-old employer. His sixteen-year-old employer who had just ordered Xander to call him ‘sir.’

Xander felt his cock twitch hard at the remembered words and Spike grinned, his mouth slightly open in wonder as he explored Xander body with his hands, running one over the hard bronze muscles on his chest, pausing to circle erect nipples and swirl in the dark hair leading down from his navel. Xander’s chest rose and fell under the roving hand and he couldn’t take his eyes off the boy’s lust-filled expression, still silently marveling at Xander’s work-honed body.

Spike’s other hand was quite a bit more naughty, still massaging the large erection through thin dampening fabric. He was achingly slow at it, teasing Xander with his unhurried thumb as it made circular rounds over the rapidly leaking head still encased in cloth. Xander couldn’t believe how turned on he was by the boy, and he knew he should feel guilty but he was having a hard time feeling anything except the need to see more of naked pale skin.

Xander suddenly brought his arms up, doubts and fears forgotten, and grasped the hem of Spike’s shirt, yanking it over his head in one swift motion. The action, unfortunately, brought his hand out of Xander’s pants, but it also revealed the young chest he knew so well from studying from afar. He wouldn’t turn down a little close-up inspecting, though.

Xander delighted in the boy’s gasp as he quickly reversed their positions, picking up the boy and setting his butt down on the back of the bed in front of him. Spike’s gaze was fiery blue as he panted quietly in anticipation of Xander’s next move. The man was far too gone to review or even care about the consequences anymore, and he leaned forward to suck a pale pink nipple into his mouth with fervor.


The blonde cried out in surprise and his hands immediately came up to fist themselves in Xander’s dark wavy hair. His back arched and he moaned as a hot tongue circled his nipple and sucked hard on it. He let out a gasp as blunt teeth captured the hardened nub between them and pinched it. Spike’s hips rocketed off the bed searching for friction, and he whined when they found none.

Despite his cocky, been-there-done-that attitude, there were quite a few things Spike had never done before. Sex was one of them.

Sure, he’d fooled around with his friends Buffy and Wes, when he was trying to see which he liked better (Wes, hands down) but nothing had ever really progressed further than some hearty snogging and fumbling gropes. But actual sex? Erm, no.

William was actually rather timid, although he hid it well behind his infamous Spike facade. What with his depressed mother and alcoholic fraud of a father, William had to do more than just exist; he had to survive and then some. Spike was just so much more fearless than William and so much more fun to be. Honestly, William was kind of a geek, but everyone liked Spike.

But anyways. Sex. Spike hadn’t really been acquainted with the scary and exciting three letter word, but from the looks of it. . .he was about to find out a whole lot more.

He gasped again as Xander quickly moved to his other nipple, repeating the attention with even more enthusiasm. Spike glanced down to see his rosy pink nipple had turned slightly purple under the treatment and shivered as he spotted a bite mark. Bloody hell, this bloke sure knows what he’s doing. And the thought of Xander’s experience and his sudden eagerness to share it caused Spike’s dick to jerk uncomfortably in his jeans. His erection was pressed against the zipper and was beginning to throb.

Xander suddenly raised his head to look at Spike, dark eyes almost black with desire as he met Spike’s cool blue ones. The blonde shivered. “Are you going to let go of my hair? You’re about to pull it out.” Spike suddenly realized his hands were still twisted in the loose waves and quickly released them, blushing furiously and twisting his hands together on his chest.

Then, with a burst of defiance, Spike glared up at the man. “Forgotten the rule already?” He put as much authority and seduction into it as he could manage and plastered a smirk on his face despite the utter terror now twisting through his gut.

But despite the hardened expression on the man’s face, it apparently wasn’t the only thing that hardened as Spike’s gaze was drawn to the huge twitching bulge in the half-opened jeans.

“Sorry, sir.

But in spite of the slightly mocking tone, the words went straight to the boy’s groin and he couldn’t help but let out a soft moan. Xander’s eyebrows rose at the noise but a small grin formed on his lips at the same time.

This gives whole new meaning to the phrase ‘topping from the bottom.’

“What would you like me to do, sir?” Xander used his best deep seductive voice and watched the black pupils in the boy’s icy blue eyes swallow up the color.

“Wh-what you were doing before was fine.” He gulped and waited for the man to move.

Xander grinned wickedly and lowered his mouth to the quivering chest, suddenly not minding the whole power trip the kid was on. In fact, this might turn out to be pretty
fun. . .

He placed a wet kiss in the slight crease between the two swollen nipples and slowly moved down the firm body, placing random hot kisses on the nicely developing muscles. He could feel the chest begin to rise and fall erratically under his lips as he moved further down the body until curly blonde hairs tickled his nose. He glanced up to see the boy staring at him with wide eyes, tousled blonde hair falling into his face and his tongue darting out to wet his lips as he watched Xander watch him.

The man kept his eyes trained on Spike’s as he reached down and slowly unbuttoned the bulging jeans, sliding the zipper down and unable to hold back a grin as Spike bit his lip. Finally, he broke the heated staring and glanced down, noting the black boxer-briefs with a twitch of a grin. He slid his hand over the prominent swell there and rubbed up and down until he thought the boy would shoot just from that, pants and moans increasing as he continued to torture the boy like he had done to Xander.

He quickly stopped and Spike whined again at the loss of contact. He immediately silenced, however, as Xander peeled off the damp underwear and shoved them and his jeans down to his ankles. He felt suddenly very exposed, being naked next to a still half-clothed Xander. He felt a blush creep onto his cheeks and glanced everywhere but at the man kneeling between his legs. Spike was still at the end of the bed with part of his legs hanging off the side, and Xander was just teetering on the edge. He let out a surprised yelp as he was jerked backwards.

Xander slid off the side of the bed and pulled Spike towards him, taking his legs and throwing them over his shoulders. He leaned down and grasped the boy’s cock, nicely sized for his age, and pumped it a few times. Spike moaned, back arching off the bed as his knees locked and pulled the man even closer to his body. Xander brought his head down and licked the stream of precum off the swollen head of his dick, swirling his tongue inside the edges of the foreskin as Spike cried out above him.

Having had nothing other than his own hand on his cock before, the hot thick lips wrapping around his shaft was more than he can handle and the boy gasped, reaching down and grabbing Xander’s hair as his hips jerked upwards. He shoved Xander down harder between his legs, yelling in delight as more of his cock slid into the man’s hot mouth. Spike jerked the Xander’s head up and down as he humped his mouth, balls tightening and pleasure creeping through his body as he thrust once more and came, hot cum spurting from his cock and into Xander’s throat as his young dick jerked inside him.

Spike’s head fell back and his hands dropped onto the bed, heart pounding in his chest and breath coming in short uneven pants. He couldn’t believe he’d just gotten a blowjob from their older, sexy hired hand. Hell, he couldn’t believe he’d gotten a blowjob, period. He held back a grin. Buffy would never believe him.


Xander let the limp cock fall from his lips and he licked the rest of the boy’s cum off his chin. He stood up and surveyed the boneless body before him, legs dangling over the edge of the bed and eyes hooded in satisfaction.


He rolled his eyes.

They have no stamina.

He yanked his jeans open and they fell and crumpled at his feet. Spike’s eyes widened comically as he stared at Xander’s naked body, halting immediately on the huge cock dangling over him and dripping pearly drops of precum onto his leg. The man grinned as the boy became quite bone-ful.

Although, there are a few good things about them. . .

Part Eight

Spike couldn’t suppress a shiver.

He was fucking terrified.

Sure, he’d dreamed and imagined and fantasized about it. He’d heard other guys and girls talk about it and he’d jerked off to porn featuring it, but the realization had just sunk in that he was about to be majorly fucked.

And, honestly, William was freaking out. Spike, of course, was out of his mind excited, but stupid William couldn’t stop shaking.

Would I look like too much of a jackass if I backed down right now?

He watched Xander lick his lips and grin and it was all he could do not to hyperventilate. Yeah, he wanted to have sex, but no matter how intriguing getting nailed to the back of his gardener’s bed sounded, William didn’t want that to be the memory he recalled whenever he thought of his first time.

‘First time?’ I sound like a bleedin' girl. God, I am so pathetic.

William felt a hot flush rise in his cheeks that had nothing to do with the way Xander’s eyes were trailing over his naked body. Well, not much.

“You okay, sir?”

Does he have to sound so fucking sexy?! And what the hell is up with him calling me — oh yeah. William took a deep breath.

“’Course. Get on with it.”

William screamed at Spike in his mind.

Xander was about to step closer but stopped. “Goddamn-” He sighed. “You wouldn’t happen to have any-” He waved a hand expressively.

Spike stared at him.

Condoms? Do you have any condoms?” Xander asked, exasperated.

“Oh, erm,” William flushed again and shook his head. “I hadn’t really. . .thought that far ahead.” He hung his head ashamedly and wondered where all the heat and excitement from before had gone.

Xander paused, chewing his lip as he thought for a moment, before a happy look sprang to his face and he dropped to his knees, picking up his carelessly flung jeans from earlier. William watched as he pulled out a leather wallet and began sifting through the many slips of paper and crumpled bills before standing up and throwing the wallet to the ground with a triumphant grin. He held the shiny black packet up and William managed a wobbly smile. He suddenly felt kind of sick.

Xander stalked closer to him, dark sexy eyes burning a hole into William as he neared the boy. The boy felt his flagging erection show some renewed interest, despite the overwhelming urge to grab his underwear and scamper out the door. Traitor, his mind hissed.

“Now, where were we, sir?” Xander leaned over and captured William’s lips with his own. The man moaned and leaned into him, hard cock digging into the boy’s thigh like a steel pole. William jerked away from the feeling, arms now shaking like it was snowing in the room.

Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic. . .You lead him on for days and this is what you give him for it?

William glanced away, cheeks burning despite the trembling in his body. “I-I’m sorry, I don- I didn’t-”

Xander pulled away, confusion and concern clearly written on his handsome features. “What’s wrong?”

William shook his head. God, I’m such an asshole.

He felt Xander’s eyes on him for another minute before a realization dawned in them. “Have – you’ve never done this before have you?” He demanded.

William blushed again, staring at the ground.

Xander sighed. William wouldn’t blame him if he shouted at him or threw him out or, god forbid, told his dad. The boy tried not to grimace at what his father would say, or maybe even do. He tended to get pretty worked up after drinking himself into a stupor.

“Hey, it’s okay.”

William looked up in surprise. Xander was looking at him with a lopsided grin and resignation in his eyes. “It’s damn scary your first time.”

William’s jaw dropped. “You-you’re not mad?” He asked incredulously.

“That you flirted with me and got more than you bargained for? No. If you’d been my gardener I would have done the same thing.” He smiled at William’s flush and tiny grin.

“So. . .do you still want to do it? Or would you rather. . .wait for someone else?”

William gaped at him in shock. He still wants to be with me? Even now that he’s knows I’m a bleedin' virgin?

“You still want to – bloody hell yes!” William grinned and Xander laughed.

“I guess I’ll have to change my plans about throwing you to the floor and fucking you til you screamed-” God, the blood in my cheeks sure is getting a workout today. “-but this will be great too. Better, probably.”

The man slid over him like a panther, hard muscle pressing into the boy’s chest. William’s eyes clouded over with lust as Xander placed a single kiss on his exposed throat, rough stubble on his chin grazing William’s soft skin.

I’m still acting like a soddin’ pansy.

William shivered again as Xander’s dark eyes promised even better things than before, and he realized he loved having someone’s full attention focused only on him, for once.

But I don’t need to be Spike all the time.

Part Nine

Xander stretched over Spike’s entire body, fitting easily over him like a second skin. He kissed a trail down the boy’s neck, pausing to blow on his nipples and they hardened under the flow of air. He dipped his tongue into the shallow navel, grinning at the boy’s half-aborted giggle. He slid further down, nipping at a thigh beside his cheek and reveling in the soft moan as rough stubble grazed soft flesh.

Xander let his fingers and hands play across the milky white skin, like liquid silk never been exposed to sun under his fingertips. He thought how easy it’d be to bruise and cupped the thigh, placing a kiss on the smooth surface. He wouldn’t let that happen. No matter how bitchy and arrogant this kid was from now on, Xander knew he’d always be his. Which should freak him out, but just left him with a glowing ember of reassurance in his chest.

The man slipped even further back, bypassing the swollen cock and ignoring the whimper of protest. He lifted the legs on either side of him, flushing as he realized he was so eager to see parts of the boy no one else had. And where was that guilt that’s supposed to come with the territory? Probably gone away to wherever Xander’s common sense had.

Xander couldn’t hold back a moan at the pink pucker peeking through the two white cheeks, and his cock throbbed in desire. He dove down, pulling the silky cheek apart and blew hard on the opening, watching it clench and hearing the startled yelp from above him. Licking his lips he smelled the heady scent of the boy and leaned over to kiss the twitching opening, sliding his tongue in as he did.

There was another surprised cry followed by a loud gasp and Spike’s muscles clenched, squeezing Xander tongue inside him. The man drew back and murmured, “Relax,” against a spread thigh before moving back down to work on the boy’s tight opening, swirling his tongue in short circles on the wrinkled skin before stabbing it back inside.

“Oh! Ah, bloody hell-” Spike panted, hands fisting themselves in the sheets at his side as Xander’s hot tongue thrust inside him again. He’d never had anything in him beside his own fingers, and even those were one at a time. Honestly, he’d been a little afraid about putting anything up there, but if he had known about what Xander was doing right now, he’d sure as hell have gone out and tried it a good deal earlier.

“Fuck!” Xander’s tongue scraped against the boy’s swollen prostate and pulled out again, licking all around Spike’s hole and pushing his tongue back in until he was wet, relaxed, and panting for more. “Now, not going to hurt you. Just relax and it’ll feel good.” Xander soothed and popped his own finger into his mouth, sucking and slicking it before trailing his hand up the back of Spike’s thigh, smiling when the boy shivered.

He positioned the tip of his finger at his opening, easily sliding it in with Xander’s multiple coats of saliva to ease the friction. Spike’s moan was more of confusion than pain, so Xander reached over and grasped the boy’s cock, pumping it a few times. The distraction proved very successful, and Spike was panting and thrusting up into Xander’s hand, having completely forgotten about the finger up his ass. Xander took this opportunity to slide a second one in, and that got Spike’s attention.

“Ah, fuck!” Spike’s muscles clamped down hard around Xander’s fingers, crushing them together.

“Come on, it’s not that bad.” Xander pumped his finger in and out of the tight opening, twisting them at the last minute so his fingernail grazed against the boy’s swollen nub. Spike’s spine straightened as if he’d been electrocuted and he yelled out. Xander grinned. “See, not that bad.”

“Yeah, I bleedin’ see, do that again!” Spike demanded, thrusting back eagerly onto Xander’s finger now. The man pushed in and out of the boy’s hole, sporadically jabbing his prostate and grinning at the string of cries and curses. By the time he had slipped a third finger in, Spike was fucking himself on Xander’s hand with his head thrown back and his hands clenched in the sheets, searching desperately for more leverage to thrust back with.

Xander slipped his fingers out of the tight heat and ignored the angry blonde head popping up to glare at him. He quickly slid over the boy’s chest, hands spreading out to grip shoulders and lips capturing the scowl. His neglected cock pressed into Spike’s crease causing him to jump and his eyes to widen as he realized what was happening. His hands came up to grasp Xander’s shoulder; not pushing him away, just holding him in place and Xander could actually hear his heart racing.

Xander could clearly see the transition from Spike to William in the sky-blue eyes, and felt himself change from something lusty and hungry into something. . .well, still pretty lusty but now wanting to take care of the boy and tell him everything was okay. It was slightly disconcerting, but Xander went with it and placed a kiss on William’s forehead while lining up his hard cock to the boy’s tight opening.

“It’s okay. Just remember, relax,” Xander soothed, running a rough hand down the boy’s chest and watching the blue eyes flutter shut and felt him arch up into Xander’s touch. He arrived at William’s weeping erection and scooped up the dribbling precum and remnants of his previous orgasm, then reached down and slicked his own cock.

“Will-” The blue eyes opened and fixed onto nearly black ones, “this. . .hurt?”

“’Course it will.” Xander leaned down and caught the boy’s mouth roughly, tongue tracing full lips before thrusting inside as they fell open. William moaned up into the man, hands scrabbling for purchase on Xander’s sweat-slicked back. Xander pushed forward and the broad head of his cock popped into the tight ring of muscle.

“Fuck!” William yelped, muscles clenching hard at the intrusion. Xander groaned at the tightening around his sensitive head and looked down at the boy with heavy lidded eyes.

“It’ll- just relax.” He kissed William again, deeper and louder as he began to push into the overwhelming tightness and heat encasing his dick. Below him William relaxed and tried to get used to the uncomfortable feeling; the burn not quite sharp enough to be pain but a dull ache that was somehow addicting. Still, he couldn’t really see why-

“Ah! God!” William cried out as something deep inside him was jabbed and exploded into blue and white pinpricks of stars in his eyelids and his cock. “Oh! Fuck, Xander,” He panted, back arching and hands suddenly white-knuckled on the man’s shoulders. He locked his knees behind Xander and tried to pull him in deeper. “More, please.”

Xander realized he had bitten through his lip and was tasting blood in his effort to go slow with William. But with the boy panting and yelling for more under him, it was getting increasingly difficult not to just hold William down and fuck him within an inch of his life.

William moaned and he went slow.

William begged and he went slow.

William began to make little “oh, oh” sounds that kept increasing in volume, and Xander’s steady thrusts began to get jagged.

William started thrusting back and clenching his ass and Xander slammed into him before he could stop.

William cried out Xander’s name so that it echoed through the house, and Xander grabbed the boy’s legs, threw them over his shoulders, and began to pound into him.

“Oh- God- Xand-” Sweaty strands of curly blonde hair fell in front of the boy’s squeezed shut eyes, and his mouth was open and letting loose a continuous string of cries and Xander’s shouted name, and Xander felt his balls tighten and lunged forward to greedily kiss William’s bruised lips, opening his eyes to see sky blue stare back and him and his orgasm slammed through him, exiting the man with a splash of hot cum and a fierce cry as he aimlessly rutted.

He slumped forward onto the gasping boy and landed in a sticky puddle. I’m glad I didn’t have a chance to take my shower before. After a moment he glanced up, breathlessly laughing as he saw what looked to be like William’s eyes rolled back in his head.

“So. . .not so bad for your first time?” He grinned at the disoriented boy.

“Whu. . .oh, right.” William let his head fall back and Xander laughed. He let his limp cock slide out of the boy in a small rush of fluid, to which William’s expression was utterly priceless, and fell onto the pillow beside him. The boy glanced up at him through his eyelashes, no teasing grin or anything, just looking. Xander felt like he was about to be thanked and broke the moment with a quick kiss. “What time is your mom supposed to be home again?”

William’s eyes widened and he flipped over to see the bedside clock. “Fuck!” He threw the soiled covers off his legs and jumped off the bed. He grabbed a sheet and wiped the mess off his stomach. “Thanks,” Xander said sarcastically.

William picked up his boxers and pulled them on, grabbing his shirt and pants and balling them up in one hand. Finally, he turned to Xander as if unsure of what to do. After a moment, a familiar smirk lit up his face. “Well, I’ll let you get away with not following the rule this time, but next time. . .”

He let the threat hang and Xander wondered what the boy could possibly do. “Uh huh. Sir.” And with a flash of sweat-matted blonde curls and wicked blue eyes, he scampered out the door.

Xander fell back onto the bed, still grinning slightly, and pulled the less foul portion of the sheets onto him. He closed his eyes and basked in a quiet afterglow.

By the time reality had leaked through his cum-coated brain, it was probably 30 seconds later. His eyes snapped open.

What the fuck did I just do?

Part Ten

Spike wiggled his toes in the water.

“Oh my god. You are so kidding!”

He grinned. “Nope.”

Buffy stared at him, mouth gaping and eyes wide in disbelief. “No! I mean. . .seriously?

Spike just kept grinning.

Buffy shook her head, mouth still hanging open. She glanced over Xander who was trying to yank the hose around a corner. “With him?

Spike frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I mean he’s just so. . .hot!” Buffy watched the huge biceps bulge and licked her lips, grinning.

Spike couldn’t help but feel a spark of jealousy. “And you’re sayin’ I’m not?”

Buffy glanced at him. “Well, you don’t exactly strike me as his type.”

“And what do you think is his type?” Spike snarled. “Self-obsessed snotty blonde bints who wouldn’t recognize a cock if they suddenly grew one?”

Buffy glared at him, one eyebrow dangerously raised. “I was going to say women in general.”

“. . .Oh.”

They were quiet for a moment.

“Do you really think that about me?” Buffy asked uncertainly after a while.

“’Course I do. S’why I love you.” Buffy grinned as he pulled her in for a tight hug. “You’re so mean!”

“’Course I am. S’why you love me.” Spike watched Xander glance at them as Buffy giggled.

“So, you guys really. . .did it?” Buffy went back to her Xander-staring.

“‘Fucked’, Buff. You can say it; it won’t hurt your precious innocent ears.”

“Whatever.” She stood up and wiped the sand off her butt. “I’m hungry, let’s go eat. Besides, I want to see if Danny’s there.”

Spike rolled her eyes but got up. “Why d’you even like him? He’s just a pot head.”

Buffy shrugged, padding through the grass and towards the house. “But he’s so cute! And those piercings and hair are really sexy.”

Spike paused outside the sliding glass door and caught Xander’s eye as he snagged the hose yet again on a bush. The boy slowly grinned and winked, just the tip of his tongue poking out of his lips. Xander’s cheeks flushed and glared down at the hose, jerking it so hard he fell backwards onto his ass.

Buffy laughed as Spike closed the door behind them. “Oh my god! You really did have sex!”

Spike slapped a hand over her mouth. “Sh! Don’t say that so loud! Bloody hell, do you know what my da would do if he found out?” The boy shuddered.

Buffy reached up and removed his hand. “Sorry,” she apologized. “It’s just really exciting.”

They both turned around to see Angel walk into the kitchen. “Hey Buffy!” He greeted her and both Spike and Buffy half-heartedly smiled back with pained expressions.

“Hi, Mr. Beck.” Buffy said reluctantly, glancing back at Spike for help. The boy held up a hand and made a run for the sandwiches.

“So. . .um, how’s your summer going?” Angel fumbled with his glass of orange juice and managed to spill half of it on the counter.

“Great. . .” Buffy replied uncomfortably.

Angel mopped up the trickling juice and tossed the rag towards the sink where it fell short and smacked onto the floor. “Right. . .Well, I’ve got some work to do” Spike snorted “but it was nice to see you again!” He flashed a grin and walked out of the room. Spike was surprised he didn’t hit his big forehead on the wall.

“He really freaks me out,” Buffy said, grabbing a sandwich.

“He’s such a perv,” Spike growled, flopping into a seat with a view of the backyard out the window. Buffy sat next to him. “What, and Xander isn’t?”

“Xan’s different!” Spike protested, biting into his sandwich.

“Well, yeah, he isn’t married and your dad (which is still so ew by the way, please tell him to stop staring at me) but he’s still like, a lot older than you. You don’t know anything about him.”

“So?” Spike replied heatedly. “I know he’s living here and he has a huge dick. Can’t think of much else I need to know.”

There was a little scrabbling on the kitchen floor and Buffy looked down to see a fluffy white mop of a dog with a pink bow around its neck jump into her lap. She grinned and hugged the puppy closer.

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever. You at least used a condom, right?”

Spike glared at her. “’Course we did.”

“Good.” She kissed the puppy on the top of the head and turned around to face the kitchen. “Now, where’s Danny?”

Part Eleven

Spike picked up the surf board and began walking out of the water. He shook his head and blonde hair flew everywhere spraying little sparkling droplets before falling in waves over his eyes. He stepped onto the sand, muscles sore from surfing for so long and he was slightly out of breath as he began walking toward the house. The sun had just sunk below the horizon and it was just a bit chillier as he leaned the black and red surfboard against the side of the house.

He could smell dinner waiting and his stomach growled appreciatively. He thanked the gods once again that they had found Andrew, their cook. Spike quickly toweled off next to his board and began to walk towards the door, when a strong hand gripped his shoulder and yanked him backwards.

“What the-”

“What were you thinking?” A voice hissed in his ear. He looked up to see a very pissed off Xander glaring at him like he’d just eaten the last Twinkie.

“’Scuse me?” He asked irritably. What the blood hell is wrong with him?

“Oh, sorry, I forgot.” The man snapped sarcastically. “You’re the great William Beck, most spoiled brat in all the land who is free to blab to all of his little friends about anything he wants.”

Spike’s eyes widened and his back straightened with indigence. “What the fucking hell are you yapping about?”

“You can’t just go around telling your stupid little friends about. . .what happened!” Xander’s face flushed (probably with shame, Spike noted with a pang) and his hand clenched around Spike’s shoulder. “I’d be fired before you could say ‘underage’ and might even go to jail!” Xander’s hand came up to rub his temple and his eyes squeezed shut. “Damnit, what did I get myself into?”

Spike glared fiercely at him and slapped the man’s hand away. “I’m not a little kid! And I knew what the bleedin’ hell I was doing! *I* seduced *you,* not the other way around!”

“That’s what everyone says, Spike.” Xander replied bitterly. “It doesn’t matter who initiated it, only that adult should have known better. Unfortunately, I’ve always been a crappy adult.”

Spike stared at him and watched the anger float out as easily as a summer breeze, only to be replaced with sour resentment. He blinked. Xander was an adult. He wasn’t supposed to be so confused. He was supposed to be self-assured and confident. This Xander was. . .something much closer to William himself. So he did what he’d do for any of his other upset friends.

“Here,” he placed a hand on Xander’s shoulder and pulled him a bit closer. “I won’t let you get fired. Or go to jail. I won’t tell any more of my friends.” I’ve already told them all anyways. “And we won’t get caught.”

Xander looked up at him, surprised. “Why do you care what happens to *me?*”

Spike looked at him in shock. What the hell’s he mean? I bloody like him; s’why I came onto him in the first place. Well, that and his incredible arse. “What do you mean? Why would I want you to get caught? We wouldn’t be able to shag any more!”

Xander let out a bark of laughter. “Yeah, I can see-” He froze. “What’d you say?” He looked very strangely at Spike.

“I said we wouldn’t be able to shag anymore,” the boy replied slower.

Xander jerked up. “What are you-” He began to back away. “No! I can’t have sex with you again! That was a completely one time-”

Spike licked his lips and slid his own hand into his swim trunks.


It was a moment before Xander could move or breathe again, but when he did he started to back away even quicker. “No!” He hissed.

“Yes,” Spike replied, eyes glinting dangerously with a bad, wrong grin. “And I noticed you haven’t been following the rule thus far. That’s gonna have to change.”

Xander stumbled and fell backwards against the side of the short wire fence separating the yard from the beach. Luckily (or unluckily, if you’re Xander), the shed was blocking the view of them from the house. Spike quickly took the opportunity to straddle Xander’s thighs.

“So the rule is in effect as of now.” Spike leaned forward, hands slipping under Xander’s shirt and spreading over his chest as he nipped his ear. “Because, you wouldn’t want to be punished, of course.”

Part Twelve

There were a few moments when William knew exactly what he was doing. He was usually timid and shy and unsure of himself, but sometimes he felt like he was Spike. Sometimes he was Spike.

This was one of those times.

He couldn’t believe how, well, powerful he felt knowing that Xander was basically at his mercy. You know, not life-and-death kind of mercy, but lose-my-job get-in-big-trouble kind of mercy. And it wasn’t exactly like he was blackmailing the man. Xander wanted him, the large erection digging into his thigh proved that, but he couldn’t help but feel excited that he was in charge for once. And if that made him a bit of a sadist, so what? He could live with that.

“Your parents could come out at any time!” Xander hissed, hands gripped tightly in the wire fence behind him. Spike was amazed he hadn’t realized he could easily throw the slight boy off him. A sudden image of Xander slinging him over his shoulder then easily bending him over the tractor, all sweaty and panting from working in the sun all-

Spike shook his head quickly to focus on more important things, and Xander took the motion as an answer. “Yes, they could!” He insisted slightly desperately.

Spike grinned at him, noting the immediate sinking look in the man’s eyes with some sick glee. “They’ll just figure I went to a friend’s house and won’t even bother coming out here. But more to the point,” the boy snaked an arm around Xander’s neck bringing their lips into a much closer range. “We have more important things to focus on, and you still need to work on your direction following.”

Xander gulped and the boy watched as black swallowed up his chocolate eyes. “And what, may I ask, are the more important things, sir?”

Spike raised a brow and flicked his glance downward.

Xander snorted. “Of course. You’re a teenage boy, what else could possibly be more important?”

“Doesn’t seem to have dropped down too far on your list either,” Spike sneered, running a finger over the rock hard denim covered bulge placed so conveniently in front of him. Xander let out a very unmanly noise and Spike felt the urge to giggle (though he fortunately withheld it). Wasn’t Xander supposed to have built up some type of resistance to just these little teasing touches by now? Why was it that Spike could control him with a wink and suggestive hand motion? There had to be something more to it than that.

But Spike was far too gone to be analyzing things, being much more preoccupied with driving the man under him insane. He wanted to see just how far he could stretch the man (figuratively) and just how much he could get away with. Because this was just a way of relieving his boredom. Just an experiment. Right?

Spike shifted, forcing the thoughts out of his mind. More important things. Much more important things.

He rubbed his hand over Xander’s covered erection, working his thumb in circles over the rough denim. After a moment he was shocked to realize that Xander wasn’t wearing anything underneath the jeans. At the stunned look Spike gave him, Xander just shrugged sheepishly and replied, “It was really hot out,” slightly breathlessly as the newfound knowledge caused the boy to double his efforts on Xander’s dampening crotch and was also starting to grind helplessly against the man’s thigh.

Xander moaned, not sure what was turning him on more; Spike’s clever fingers kneading his swollen cock through the coarse fabric, or the fact that Spike was just as turned on as he was only from touching Xander and was rubbing himself off on his leg.

“Ah. . .fuck,” Xander wanted to let his head roll back but couldn't tear his eyes away from Spike who was now biting his lip in this adorable way as if he was trying to hold back a moan or whimper. Adorable? Xander mentally checked himself. No, can’t let words like that leak into his thoughts.

Spike finally ripped himself away from Xander’s body long enough to stand and hop out of his swim trunks, quickly tossing them to the side and resuming his position of straddling Xander’s thighs, pale cock now jutting out in front of him as he reached for Xander’s jeans.

The man swiftly stripped off his own shirt and watched the boy yank the zipper over his enclosed cock. At Xander’s loud and distressing yelp, Spike glanced up, concerned. “Maybe watch the zipper on the very not-underweared parts of me next time? . . .sir?”

Spike blushed but nodded, smiling a little. “Sorry, Xan. I know how to fix it though.” He grinned at Xander’s cautious expression before ducking his head down.

Spike grasped his cock as it sprang free, broad purple head seeming even darker in the rapidly escaping light. He was slightly awed by the feel, never having had another penis in his hands besides his own. He decided to experiment, wrapping his hand around the thick base and pulling it slowly to the top. “Now, I’m not sure exactly where it hurts,” Spike stated to Xander’s low moans as he continued to trail his hand up and down. “So I’ll just have to cover all the bases.” He leaned forward and placed a kiss on the swollen shaft in front of him. Spike bit back a grin at the squeak above him.

“Better yet?”

“N. . .not quite, sir,” Xander replied shakily, hands white-knuckled on the fence behind him and legs trying to spread a bit wider even though the jeans still on him effectively hobbled him.

“Hmmm,” Spike pretended to be considering. “What about. . .” He moved and placed a longer, harder kiss slightly further up the shaft. “Now?”

“Urgh. . .uh. . .I. . .no, s-sir,” Xander was having a hard time with the sentence forming. His excitement increased and chest began to rise and fall quite erratically as he saw Spike reach down and begin to stroke himself as he moved further up Xander’s cock.

Spike licked his lips at the sight of Xander’s purple weeping cock head, unable to help it as a wave of pleasure coursed through him and he reached down to hastily touch himself with one hand, the other coming up to position the tip of Xander cock at his mouth. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips hard against the dribbling head. He pulled back from the kiss, lips slick and shiny and one scarred eyebrow raised to clearly ask ‘Now?’

The boy grinned as he watched Xander’s eyes roll back in his head and quickly leaned down and popped the entire top of Xander’s dick in his mouth, immediately sucking as his hands came up to yank the jeans down so he could play with the man’s balls. His tongue came down jab at the dribbling slit and swirl around the swollen sensitive head. One hand began softly rubbing circles into Xander’s heavy sac, fingers tickling and teasing the soft skin, as his other hand harshly jerked his own cock back and forth. Spike learned a whole new meaning to the world multitasking.

“Ah, oh god,” Xander moaned loudly as he felt his orgasm fast-approaching. “God, don’t stop, please, sir.”

Suddenly Spike felt his own orgasm slam into him, hand a blur over his cock as white spurts shot out the end. He screamed around Xander’s thick shaft filling his lips, and let his teeth lightly sink in as he dragged his mouth upwards. A following shout of pleasure and Spike mouth was filled with splashes of hot cum.

After a moment of that in his mouth, he promptly turned and spat it into the grass next to him.

Xander laughed, head lolling to the side as he took in the repulsed expression on Spike’s face. “What? You were expecting strawberry yogurt to come out?” He rolled his eyes but held out a hand to the boy.

Spike looked at it with his eyebrows drawn together in confusion, but took it after a moment and was surprised to find himself pulled into strong arms. He quickly settled next to the man and let his head fall onto his shoulder. Somehow it only seemed right; Xander’s strong warm arms around him and crickets chirping in the complete darkness now surrounding them. Spike glanced around to see the full fat moon reflected in the calm ocean water.

And the boy felt a warm glow begin in his chest. Maybe it was just the warm afterglow, or maybe the romantic setting, but suddenly this wasn’t just an experiment anymore. Suddenly Spike wasn’t satisfied with just some hot, dirty fun.

Suddenly things were about to get a lot more complicated.

Part Thirteen

Xander paused for the fourth time, popping his head up and glancing around the yard. Thankfully, there was not a teenager to be seen. Xander went back to yanking stubborn weeds out of the flower bed. He’d been very paranoid the whole day. And with good reason.

But he had yet to see the evil blonde as of yet. Either the boy was inside or not at the house altogether. Hopefully he had gone to a friend’s house. Actually, that wouldn’t be a good thing, because then he would probably tell all about their – rendezvous, last night. Stupid kids, can’t keep their mouths shut. Xander mentally grumbled. If Spike hadn’t opened his mouth in the first place there wouldn’t even be anything to tell about last night.

A high-pitched yapping noise sounded from the door, followed by frantic scrabbling. Xander heard the sliding glass door open and the happy yip from Cordy as she tumbled into the grass. Xander peeked over the high flowers and saw Dru hurrying after the white puppy.

At least she’s getting some exercise.

Usually Cordelia sat on her ass all day categorizing her chew toys. Which was disturbing on so many levels.

“Xander!” Dru called delightedly, picking up Cordy and carrying her to the man. Xander was surprised when the puppy didn’t try to wriggle free; Xander was the only one she didn’t object to holding her. Dru really seemed to be growing on her, though.

“Hello, little miss Dru and little miss priss,” Xander grinned and leaned over to kiss Cordy on top of her head. She seemed to preen and tilt her head to show off the pink ribbon around her neck. Xander snorted.

“Where’s William, Xander?” Dru asked, setting Cordy down on the grass. “He owes me a dollar for washing his surfboard.”

“I don’t know,” Xander replied, once again scanning the yard and all the windows above them.

“You don’t?” Dru asked, seeming surprised. She picked a bright red flower and tried to put it behind her ear but it fell out.

“No. . .why, should I?” Xander picked up the flower and tucked it behind her ear. It contrasted sharply with her dark hair and dark eyes.

“Of course,” Dru said, turning and twirling so her hair fanned out. She stopped and smiled at him. “You always know where the person you love is.”

Xander nearly died. “Wh-what’d you say?” He stammered, still not sure he had heard the girl right.

Dru just grinned at him. “You’ll take such good care of your Sweet William. Lots of rain kisses and puppies. And flowers!” She touched the red one in her hair and dashed away, still smiling, with Cordy bounding at her heals.

Xander stared after her, mouth hanging open.

How did she know? Is it that obvious?

After a moment he sighed. Well, hopefully she won’t tell her parents. But even if she does I doubt they’d believe her. She tends to talk about a lot of. . .things that don’t make sense. And anyways, I don’t love William– Spike! The kid’s just loopy.

He went back to pulling up weeds. Love him. *snort* Besides, the boy hates me.

“X- Xander?”

Xander turned around quickly as he recognized the voice. He was ready to kill the boy for letting his little sister catch on. The last thing they needed was an– odd eleven-year-old knowing her brother was up to something with their gardener. But Spike didn’t look like his usual cocky self. In fact he looked sort of. . .shy.

“Um. . .” The boy stammered, wide blue eyes blinking at the ground and a flush of color in those ridiculously high cheekbones. He was wearing a shirt for once, and a surprisingly nice one at that. Much better than his usual black band T-shirts. “Was, uh, wondering if you wanted to– I mean, if you’re gonna be finished soon, and wanted to. . .”

Xander felt like he was watching a car crash in slow motion and couldn’t do a thing to help. All he felt was an impending ‘Oh no’ as he saw the inevitable play out.

“. . .Maybe, go see a movie with me?”


Oh, shit.

Part Fourteen

Spike was still having a hard time believing Xander had actually come. It had taken a while to break the man down, but Spike hadn’t thought Xander would actually go with him to the movies. Like a date.

Not a soddin’ date. Just a movie. It’s something all blokes do together when their bored. And I’m sure a lot of them go through eleven outfits before deciding on one, too.

And so what if Spike looked a bit insanely happy as they waited in line for tickets, and so what if Xander looked a bit pedophiliac as he stood awkwardly beside him. It didn’t really matter. Because Xander wasn’t with that bint in the corner, or with the one wearing too much make-up and chatting on her cell phone. He was with him, Spike. And that was really all that mattered.


Xander still couldn’t believe he had actually gone. If only the stupid boy hadn’t looked so damn shy and insecure and what the hell was up with that anyways? Where was the brattish little punk that he knew so well? Actually that wasn’t true. He didn’t know anything about the scowling delinquent who lurked around the house. Because, lately, every time he got near, the boy would somehow change to this stuttering blushing little boy who peaked at Xander under his eyelashes when he though he wasn’t looking.

It was unnerving, to say the least. Although, Xander had gotten to know this different person surprisingly well. The one without the street-trash growl and narrowed eyes. He just wasn’t sure what it meant; the whole changing to another person thing. This kid had some serious multiple personality problems.

“Do you, um, want any popcorn or anything?” Spike asked nervously, eyes darting between Xander and the snack counter as if this was the biggest decision of his life.

“Uh, sure.” They shuffled to the end of the line.

Oh god, do I pay? Or do I let him? It’d seem rude if I made him pay for it, but he might be offended if I pay. I could ask him to split it, but that’d be like a date. Maybe he’d like that. Or maybe he’d think I was off my rocker for asking him on a date. Is this a date? Bloody hell, it must be if I feel this nervous. Is he nervous? He looks a tad uncomfortable, but maybe that’s just because he’s never been on a date with another bloke before. Wait, is this a date?!

“Thank you.” Spike was snapped out of his mental turmoil by Xander, who had just paid the cashier and was walking away towards the butter and salt with a jumbo bucket of popcorn tucked under his arm. Right, well that solves that problem.

Spike scurried after him. Xander loaded the popcorn with artificial butter and shook about half the salt from the shaker onto it. Spike’s arteries cringed.

“What theater are we?” Xander asked, eyes staring worriedly at the popcorn and Everywhere But Spike.

“Erm, three.” The boy replied after a quick glance at his ticket. They’d chosen an action flick; definitely was the safest route to go. And manly. Yes, very manly.

They sat down about halfway through the theater, with Xander on the end. Hopefully not so he can make a quick escape if things get too weird. Not that Spike intended on things getting weird. Unless weird included a heavy make-out session and possible hand-holding. No, they were just a couple of guys watching a movie with lots of explosions and large breasts in skintight outfits. Nothing weird about that.

Except Spike wasn’t too keen on breasts and loud noises tended to make his ears ring uncomfortably, but Xander seemed like an explosion-y breast-y sort of guy. Which didn’t really explain what he was doing in a dark movie theater next to a sixteen-year-old boy whom he’d recently had sex with, and who also lacked the upper body proportions that most men seemed to so greatly enjoy, but. . .what was his point again?

Oh yeah, Xander wasn’t making a big deal out of going to this movie with Spike, and didn’t seem very upset about their earlier encounters, either. So maybe Xander was an explosion and breast man, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t be a flowers and midnight swim kind of guy, too. Even though that was ridiculously romantic and inside his head, Spike was mocking William for being so pathetic and naive. But this wasn’t Spike’s night, it was William’s. So the boy locked his persona up in a closet in his mind and tried to focus on the beginning of the movie.


Xander was decidedly uncomfortable. He’d chosen the seat next to the aisle so he could make a quick escape if things got too weird. Like is Spike started giving him those little glances out of the corner of his eye again or tried to brush his hand against Xander’s. Because this was starting to look alarmingly similar to a date.

Not that going to the movies with another guy was very date-ish, (although he supposed it was if you really thought about it) but the little smiles and excessive blushing on the boy’s part was really beginning to worry him. What was he supposed to do? It wasn’t as if he didn’t like the kid; he was actually beginning to grow on him in a weird way, but did he really expect Xander to – be in a relationship or something, with him? Because Xander wasn’t sure he could do that.

The whole male thing aside, Spike was sixteen. Not to mention the son of his employer. It just made him feel uneasy, the thought of — dating a teenage kid. He wasn’t sure he should have even had sex with him. Because, despite what people said, sex was never simple. It held all kinds of complications and loopholes. But still, sex was one thing, but being in a relationship of anything other than pure lust with the boy. . .Xander really wasn’t sure if he was ready for that.


By the time the movie had ended, Spike was both extremely relieved and extremely disappointed. It had been excruciatingly awkward during the make-out scenes in the movie (which had seemed to take up a good hour of it). With Buffy Spike would have added his own obscene soundtrack to the scenes while she giggled, but he didn’t really think Xander would appreciate that. Even with Wesley they would glance at each other and make suggestive hand motions, maybe even engage in a few lip-locks themselves. Again, he didn’t really see Xander feeling the same way. Mostly he just sat there, trying not to glance at the man and stay very, very still, as if he could disappear from the seat.

Also, Xander had to reach over to get the popcorn from the bucket in Spike’s lap, which resulted in Spike jumping a foot in the air and spilling half the popcorn every time Xander reach over for a handful.

And then of course, there were the obscene slurping noises Xander made when he was licking the salt and butter off his fingers, which were so loud to Spike they seemed to overpower the explosive soundtrack of the movie. He even glanced around to see if any of the theater’s other occupants could hear the licking noises coming from Xander’s seat. Either they were very good actors, or they were all hard of hearing.

When the movie was over, Spike still didn’t know the plot, due to the distraction in the shape of Xander’s leg, which had occasionally brushed against Spike’s a few times. So instead, Spike spent the ninety three minutes trying to figure out if the man was doing that on purpose or not. By the ninety third minute, however, the question was still unanswered.

“So, did you like it?” Xander asked as they walked out of the theater.

Spike glanced up at him. “Like what?”

Xander looked at him very strangely. “The movie we just watched.”

“Oh. Oh! Yeah, it was um, great.” What was the name of it again?

“Yeah, it was okay.” They stood there awkwardly for a moment.

“Soooo. . .uh, yeah. Thanks for inviting me and stuff.” Xander blinked and continued practicing his Not Looking at Spike. He was getting very good at it.

“Yeah. No problem. It was fun.” Wow, I seriously cannot think of anything that could make this worse.

“What was your favorite part?”



They finally made it home and Xander was kicking himself for going to the movie with Spike. It was obvious the boy wanted more than to fool around. Xander just didn’t think he could give him that.

But then, as they were retreating to their far-too-close rooms for the night, one of those little things happened that continued to cause Xander’s confusion and sexual identity to do little back-flips in his stomach.

Right before he walked through the doorway into his room, a hand on his shoulder caused him to pause. Xander turned around to see a very hopeful-looking Spike, with his eyebrows drawn together in a cute little crease of concentration and biting his lip just a little.

“Xander, do you think we could do that again?”

Xander could see how much courage the boy had worked up to ask him this, which was so strange and ironic because they’d had sex and Spike was acting more scared about going to a movie than he had been about that.

And Xander knew he was digging himself in deeper and deeper, and he knew he was going to regret this and that he was probably setting the boy up for disappointment, but well. . .

How could he say no to that?

Part Fifteen

Xander sat at the counter, sipping his chocolate milkshake and staring out the window. The rain came down in sheets and thunder cracked through the air sporadically. It’d been storming all day and didn’t appear to be letting up anytime soon.

On one hand, this meant Xander didn’t have to work today, which was an automatic woohoo! in his book, but that also meant that he was stuck in the house all day. With Mrs. Beck, who was actually rather nice. With Dru, who gave Xander the creeps more than anything. And with Cordy, who kept staring up at him and sighing dramatically when he wouldn’t pet her.

Oh, yeah. And Spike.

Awkward would be an understatement.

Xander didn’t think he’d tried to avoid someone this much since high school. The boy wasn’t exactly going to great lengths to talk to him or anything, but he would magically appear in the same room when Xander had let his guard down. It was very unnerving.

At least he has his shirt on.

And another thing; that cute timid boy from before who blushed whenever Xander looked at him and smiled dorkily when their hands brushed? Yeah, he was gone.

Spike, or the Little Bad as Xander had affectionately started calling him in his head, was back, strong and pissy.

“Xander?” Andrew called from the end of the kitchen. “Do you think you could wipe up those drops on the counter?”

Xander rolled his eyes but grabbed a napkin and swiped it over the three little drops he’d spilled. The cook was a little anal, to say the least.

But he made good milkshakes. Damn good milkshakes.

Danny slipped into the seat next to him, black and silvery hair very fitting with the storming weather. Xander wondered idly if he did that on purpose.

“Want a shake? I’m sure Drew’d be happy to make you one.” He heard Andrew sigh spectacularly from the other side of the kitchen.


Xander nodded. “You know, I envy you; being able to express yourself in so few words is a talent I’ve never really picked up on.”


Xander shook his head in wonder.

The sound of a remote being hurled at the wall interrupted their conversation, if you could call it that. Spike stomped into the room, glowering and mumbling curses under his breath. He slumped into the seat next to Xander and grabbed the milkshake out of the man’s hand, slurping a large sip and belching loudly. “You Americans have really bloody bad TV shows.”

“But, William, you like that one that comes on in the day, before the bald man,” Dru said, walking in after him and picking up Cordy as the puppy came yipping happily towards her. “‘Passions.’”

Xander grinned at this news, stealing back his milkshake as a faint blush colored Spike’s cheeks. “Bloody hell, Dru, I do not.”

“Yes you do,” she sat down and began brushing Cordy’s fur until it shined. It’s easy to see why she adores the girl so much. “You talk about Timmy all the time.”

Spike sat and mumbled bad things about stupid little sisters, before an evil gleam lit up his bright eyes and he snatched Xander shake away again, tossing the straw aside and throwing his head back as he gulped the rest down.

Xander glared at him, well at his neck, as he watched the muscles work. After a moment the boy surfaced, leering at the older man as he licked his lips clean of the chocolate ice cream and swiped a finger down inside the cup to gather the remaining drops. Then, with his eyes still intently trained on Xander’s, proceeded to lick and suck his fingers clean noisily.

He’s doing this with his little sister is the room??

But he glanced over and saw that Dru had got up and left without him even realizing it. But Danny was still behind them. . .

Spike hand slid onto his thigh and Xander jumped, trying to pull away but at the same time not alert the butler that anything was happening. But he could Danny watching them with a knowing smirk out of the corner of his eye.

Damnit! Does this whole house know?!

“I need to check on Mrs. Beck.” And with that, he was gone.

Leaving Spike and Xander alone in the kitchen. Alone. With Spike’s hand on his thigh.

“Well, what to do?” The boy murmured in his ear, sliding himself onto Xander’s lap. The man forced down his panic. Dan would tell me if Darla was coming. Dru would announce herself with a song. Maybe, just for one moment. . .it might not be that risky if-

“Spike, Dru! I’m ho—” Angel’s cheerful call stopped mid-sentence and Spike and Xander broke apart, gasping slightly, as the man walked through the kitchen door and stopped abruptly.

Xander didn’t think he’d ever wished his hand wasn’t on someone’s ass more than at that moment.

Part Sixteen

“Spike, Dru! I’m ho—” Angel’s cheerful call stopped mid-sentence and Spike and Xander broke apart, gasping slightly, as the man walked through the kitchen door and stopped abruptly.

Xander didn’t think he’d ever wished his hand wasn’t on someone’s ass more than at that moment.

Spike paused for a moment to take a deep breath.

Oh fuck, I am really in some deep shit here. There’s only one way out of this. Deny, deny, deny.

“I can explain.”

“Well, good, ‘cuz I’d love to hear it.” Angel crossed his arms, fuming, and glared daggers at his son. Spike could just see the words running through his mind; betrayed, media, disgusting

“I was just. . .” Spike racked his brains desperately, sweat pouring off him as he tried to come up with a plausible explanation. “Experimenting.”

His dad raised an eyebrow dangerously. “Experimenting?”

If I play this right I might actually be able to come out of this with some respect.

“Yeah,” the boy replied, slightly more confident. “You know, like you always say to. If you don’t get satisfactory results the first time, play around with it a bit. Like you do at the lab.”

Despite his anger, Spike could tell Angel was secretly pleased that his son had retained this advice. “So you’re saying. . .you got unsatisfactory results?”

“Well. . .” Spike adopted a discontented expression. “I kind of went on a few dates with, um, Buffy.”

“Okay. . .” To Spike’s great disgust, Angel seemed slightly disappointed. Perv.

“And, well. . .let’s just say it wasn’t what I expected it to be.” There we go, nice and vague.

Angel looked down at him sharply. “You didn’t have sex with her, did you?”

“No!” Spike blushed, despite himself. Ick! Buffy-cooties!

“Oh. Well then how do you know it was- unsatisfactory?” Angel shifted on feet. This was becoming the strangest sex talk Spike had ever heard of.

“Well we kissed and stuff,” he mumbled.

“And you didn’t like it?” Angel seemed disbelieving. Again, I say, perv.

“It was okay.”

“Uh huh.”

“So. . .I just decided to experiment a little.” Spike shrugged. “Lots of people do it.”

“But with Xander?” Angel shook his head. “Couldn’t you have. . .experimented with one of your own little friends?”

“Yeah, that wouldn’t have been awkward. ‘Hey Wes, let’s snog so I can determine my sexual identity.’” Spike snorted. “They would’ve thought I was daft. And anyways, wouldn’t you have rather me tried it with someone we know won’t hurt me or take advantage of me than with a complete stranger?”

Oh yeah. Play the guilt card and the responsibility card and I just might be able to. . .

“But– Well–” His father sighed and his hands came up to cover his face. “He should have known better! You’re underage for god’s sakes! Not to mention he’s working for us.”

“Well he didn’t exactly push me into it,” Spike looked guiltily at the ground. “I might’ve, you know, forced him. . .a bit.”

Angel stared at his son, shoulders sagging in defeat. “Alright. But he can’t work here anymore. I just- I won’t feel comfortable with him being around you.”

“No!” Spike’s heart jumped into his throat and he began to panic. “He needs this job! Otherwise he’ll have to go live with his brother who has enough trouble as it is. He, uh, told me.”

Note to self: Eavesdropping on private phone conversations comes in handy.

“Besides, you said it yourself; you wouldn’t be able to find anyone else who would work the hours that he does for such little pay.”

“But, he kissed you!” Angel’s face screwed up. “How am I supposed to face him after that?!”

Good thing he was at a bad angle and couldn’t see him groping me.

“I kissed him,” Spike clarified. “And I promise I won’t do it again, really. I don’t need to experiment anymore.”

Angel studied him. “And what have you decided on that?”

Spike paused. He could eliminate all doubt about him and Xander with this. But that could also destroy what little of a relationship they had, when his father found out he was gay, in the future. But if he came out now surely Angel would fire Xander for fear of Spike ‘taking advantage’ of him, or vice versa.

“I like a little of both,” he finally announced, head high and cool eyes challenging his father’s.

After a moment Angel replied, “Fair enough. Xander can stay, but I’m moving him to a different part of the house. And you. . .need to work on a few restraint issues.”

With another gigantic sigh, he turned and walked out of the room. Spike slumped down to the floor, legs feeling like rubber. Or jello. Rubbery jello.

Once again his quick thinking and smooth words had gotten him out of a very bleak situation. But how would much his and Xander’s growing relationship suffer?


Xander had chewed through three of his fingernails so bad that he’d tasted blood. By the time he was working on a fourth, Angel walked out of the room he and Spike had been conversing in.

Oh, shit. Please don’t call the cops, please don’t call the cops. I wouldn’t last a day in prison. Oh god, who will take Cordy? Jesse will be so disappointed.

“Come on,” Mr. Beck motioned for Xander to follow him without looking directly at the younger man. Xander got up nervously and walked after him as he made his way toward the stairs. “Spike told me about how he was, uh, experimenting and how you had nothing to do with it.” The man threw back over his shoulder, words short and clipped and grumpy. “And how you really need this job, so you can stay. But I’m moving you to the other end of the house.” He stopped at the door to Xander’s room.

“But I better not see anymore of this, uh. . .” He waved a hand. “Okay?”

Xander blinked. Well that was vague. Where in the world is a hand wave code for ‘homosexual activity?’

“Of course. I’m really sorry, sir, I didn’t know he was going to. . .” Xander took a cue and waved his hand. “Or I would’ve. . .made sure I was at the other end of the kitchen.” He finished lamely.

But Angel seemed to find this good enough and nodded, turning and walking wearily back down the stairs.

Xander sighed, relieved beyond comprehension. He began to collect his things to transfer them to his new room.

I can’t believe Spike talked us out of that. Damn, that kid is good. I mean bad. Yeah, that kid is bad.

Part Seventeen

Xander had been avoiding the Beck family as much as possible the entire week. Which was rather hard, considering he lived with them, but by going out or to Willow and Tara’s for dinner and getting outside early and coming back in late, he managed to see little of his employers.

Angel seemed very grateful for this attitude. Even though he was rarely at the house anyways and spent most of the time in the basement when he was. Darla didn’t even know about Spike and Xander; apparently her husband had found their son making out with their gardener not quite important or urgent enough to let her in on. That and he was convinced his son was just ‘confused.’ Dru was blissfully unaware of anything but Cordy.

Xander did, however, spend more time with Danny and Andrew. He’d gotten to know them both rather well, and once you got past the drugged-out attitude of Danny, he was a very insightful person and surprisingly good singer. And once you got past Andrew’s tendency to queen out over absolutely nothing, he was a very good listener and made Xander chocolate milkshakes whenever he wanted.

So it wasn’t too bad. At least it wasn’t the flashing lights and ‘Come out with your hands up’ and special-buddy in prison that he’d imagined.

But of course there was a drawback. And this drawback was a very annoying one. And very persistent one.

“Hey Xan,” a voice floated over the flowers.

Oh, shit.

He momentarily contemplated ducking and quickly crawling under the minimal cover the tall flowers provided, but decided that would just look stupid. As opposed to dealing with the love-stuck teenager? his mind leered. Yeah, it’d started to do that lately. Leer. And somehow it had acquired a British accent.

“How goes the gardening?” Xander heard a grinning voice from above him.

“Just great, sir,” the man replied through clenched teeth. I will not spray him, I will not spray him, I will not spray him.

“Hmm, sounds lovely. But you know, from my view from the house, when you bend over it gives a wonderful view of your – oof!”

Xander aimed the steady stream of the hose back at the thirsty flowers, only grinning a little.

“Why, you stupid – gonna fucking – ugh!” Spike sputtered, shaking his head and spraying little droplets everywhere. With his spiky hair sticking up in wet clumps and curling wetly over his ears, the boy looked decidedly like a wet cat. A very pissed off wet cat.

Xander bit his lip to hold back a snort of laughter as Spike stomped away.

But then he heard him stop. And Xander froze. Because he could feel Spike starting to grin, even with his back turned. And Spike was an evil grinner. He only grinned when he had something diabolical in mind. And so far his diabolical plans all seemed to include Xander naked.

Xander did not think his nakedness would get him very far in Angel’s case. In fact, the less ‘Xander’ and ‘naked’ were used in the same sentence, probably the better Angel would feel about him living there.

God, whatever happened to ‘like father like son?’

“Like gettin’ me wet, do ya?” A husky voice drawled in his ear.

“Um. No. I was aiming for- the sunflowers.” Xander inwardly cringed as he said it. Both pairs of eyes swiveled over to where the sunflowers sat. At the other end of the yard. “And that’s why I never made the baseball team.”

“Mm hmm.” Cool damp arms slid around to encircle his waist. Xander began to feel panic creep up into his throat and swallowed hard. No.

“No!” He hissed, insanely happy that he’d gotten his vocal muscles to work.

“Doesn’t feel like no.” And no, no it didn’t. “Feels like a great big yes to me.” The boy grinned and – oh god – licked his ear.

“Spike! Your dad—”

“Daddy’s not home,” interrupted the boy, placing a single wet kiss at the base of Xander’s neck. The soaked state of Spike’s clothes were orgasmic against the man’s sweaty bare back. Xander felt his nipples harden as a single moist finger drew a slick circle around them, causing him to shiver and wish his front half wasn’t facing the house.

“You mom! And—”

“She’s out shopping for all the things she already has, and Dru’s at a friend’s house. Only ones here are you, me, and our little but grateful audience.”

Xander’s eyes flickered over to the kitchen window where Andrew was stealing glances at them enviously and Danny was making no effort to hide it and enjoying the view with a self-pleased grin on his face. Xander blushed furiously and looked away but didn’t move from the boy’s arms. He’d never really been watched with. . .envy before. At least not when it came to his romantic partners. Well, not in anything really, but especially not when it came to his romantic partners.

It was kind of thrilling.

And kind of extremely wrong. His dad walked in on us! We were found out! You don’t really think you can actually still-

“Like that, huh?” Spike grinned into his shoulder.

Xander made a strangled noise in the back of his throat.

The evil hand squeezed his throbbing erection through his jeans again.

Oh my god this is so wrong. He is seriously not going to jerk me off in the middle of his backyard when his parents could come home at any minute and, oh shit, my friends are watching. . .Is he?

That question was answered soon enough, as Spike’s cool hand slid down his abdomen and into his jeans, cupping his pulsing cock and beginning to rhythmically squeeze it. Xander let out a very high-pitched sound and, despite the common sense screaming to be heard, felt part of him react drastically to the danger and intense hotness of the situation.

“Yeah, you’re not as tough as you think,” Spike whispered into his ear. “Lettin’ the little boy bring you off in front of your mates. If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were gettin’ off on that alone.”

Xander reply was lost in a choked-off moan as another wet hand came up to roughly pinch his hardened nipples. He arched his back involuntarily, hips bucking forward as Spike skillfully undid his jeans with one hand.

Where’d he learn that?

Xander didn’t have much time to analyze the brief jealously, though, as his throbbing cock bounced free and Spike eagerly grasped it, slowly pulling from base to tip. Xander knew how ludicrous he must look in the middle of the garden like this, but he was beginning to care less and less.

“Oh fuck,” he moaned as Spike’s hand, still deliciously cool from the hose water, came up to work brutally over his swollen head, fucking the sensitive flesh through his tight grasp. Xander began to pant, his jerking forward to fuck Spike’s slick hand, large drops of precum gathering at the slit and dropping to the dirt.

“Fuck, yeah, like that, Xan,” Spike growled behind him, suddenly not seeming so much younger or so much smaller as he ground his erection into Xander’s ass, damp fabric clinging to the hard flesh so tightly that Xander felt as is it wasn’t there.

The boy moaned loudly as he worked his cock against Xander, at the same time quickening his already harsh pace on the man’s cock as if it were his own. Xander gasped, feeling his balls draw up, and he began to pound forward erratically, driving the head of his cock through Spike’s clenching fingers in short desperate thrusts. His orgasm swept through his, a strangled cry escaping his throat as thick spurts of cum landed all over the pink flower petals.

Spike announced his own finish with a particularly loud grunt, followed by a distinctly sticky feeling against Xander’s naked butt.

Which was all but extremely pleasant compared to the feeling that rushed through Xander as he realized that he was still standing in the flower bed with his pants around his knees. And that the cook and butler had probably watched the entire episode from the kitchen window.

Xander solved the first problem very quickly, yanking his jeans back up to cover all the important parts, while blushing wildly and trying to look anywhere but at the house.

“We can’t do that anymore! What if –”

But the panicked reasoning died in his throat as he saw Spike, looking very pleased with himself indeed, glancing smugly at Xander. He still looked like a cat. Xander actually half-expected him to start purring and rubbing up against his– no, better not give him any ideas.

Xander sighed. “You’re not going to stop, are you?”

Spike shook his head.

“I’m totally screwed with this, aren’t I?”

Spike nodded.

Xander sighed again.


Now he couldn’t face the Becks or the staff for a long time. Because every time he got near Andrew, the cook would blush immensely and begin to nervously lick his lips, sneaking glances at Xander’s lower region when the man entered the room.

And Danny adopted a very pleased, complacent look, complete with raised eyebrows and tiny grin, when the gardener had the misfortune to get within twenty feet of him.


Which left him with. . .who?

Over the counter, Spike smiled at him around a mouthful of candy bar.

Xander banged his head on the table several times.

Part Eighteen

Spike took one last drag on the cigarette before tossing it to the ground and crushing under his boot. He’d taken to wearing boots for that reason alone. Because crushing it with your bare foot and immediately falling to the ground in pain sort of ruined the effect.

Not that he needed an effect. It was just a handy thing to have around.

What’s wrong with having an effect? Dru’s got the crazy going on, Xan has the whole ‘sexy gardener’ working for him. Even the butler does the stoner thing. Although I think that’s less for effect and more for, well, getting high.

Spike glanced over at Danny who appeared to be — having a conversation with Cordelia. Sitting on the steps, smoking a joint, and talking to the small dog as she watched him and appeared to nod periodically.

Spike blinked and shook his head.


He turned and walked around the house, stepping on a few bright yellow flowers thus earning a murderous glare from the man cutting the grass, and onto the driveway. Spike clicked open the door to his black Mustang and slipped behind the wheel. He caught Xander’s eye and blew the man a kiss, backed down the driveway, and peeled down the street with a screech.


Buffy, Wes, Dawn, and Spike crowded into the small booth.

“I can’t believe mom made me bring you,” Buffy scowled at her sister, who triumphantly stuck her tongue out at her.

“Don’t worry Bit, I still love you.” Spike grinned and ruffled the twelve-year-old’s hair. The girl blushed happily and continued to silently gloat over her sister.

“Hey Dawn, how about you go buy yourself a sundae, on me?” Wes flipped her some bills and she caught them, reluctantly leaving her seat and the opportunity to listen in on their conversation for the temptation of chocolatey goodness.

“So,” Wes turned to Spike as soon as the girl was out of earshot. “What’s happened with you and Mr. Beautiful? Somebody getting naughty behind the tool shed?” The boy waggled his eyebrows.

Spike laughed and grinned widely. “Didn’t even need to go that far. I jerked him off in the middle of the yard, in the middle of the day. ”

Spike watched his friends’ jaws drop with glee. “Guy barely knew what hit ‘im,” he snorted.

“Oh my god,” Buffy squealed, covering her mouth to contain the noise. “That was so dangerous! I can’t believe he let you do that.”

“Didn’t exactly feel him complaining,” Spike and Wes laughed.

Buffy shook her head but grinned, leaning down to slurp on her milkshake. “I really need to get some more friends other than naughty gay British boys.” She rolled her eyes.

“But we’re the perfect shopping companions,” Wes smirked, showing off his new jacket.

Buffy’s eyes flickered over Spike’s apparel. “Yeah, I don’t exactly see what statement you’re trying to make to all the cute boys.” She raised an eyebrow at the shiny combat boots.

“Maybe, ‘Don’t fuck with me, I always get what I want ‘cuz I’m a spoiled brat?’” But Wes was grinning so Spike didn’t feel hurt. Much.

“Hey! I do not always get what I want,” He defended himself. Still working on reuniting the Sex Pistols.

“Uh huh, that’s why you’re fucking the hottest guy in town,” Buffy countered. Wes nodded even though he hadn’t even seen Xander yet. Hypocrite. You’d shag Acne Guy at the grocery store if he gave you half a glance.

“Let me assure you that that is impossible.” Spike stated matter-of-factly. “I still haven’t found out a way to fuck myself.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. Wes looked about ready to give some suggestions.

Besides, so what if I’m a little spoiled? It’s not like there’s anything wrong with having some fun.

The three of them silenced as Dawn sat back down beside Buffy. Spike reached a finger over and dipped it in her hot fudge before she could slap him away.

“Anyways,” he stood and adjusted his new duster. It was far too large for him and quite hot in this weather. “I’ve got to go. Lovely chatting ‘n all that rot.” He kissed Dawn on the top of the head and waved at Buffy and Wes as he walked out the ice cream parlor.


Xander was beginning to figure out that he knew absolutely nothing about Spike.

He had made a list.

Things I Know About William Beck

1. He turns into Spike when the moon is full or there’s no Weetabix left.

2. He had naturally blonde (and curly) hair.

3. He likes to embarrass me then gloat about it.

4. His favorite show is Passions.

5. He has strange friends.

6. He has a nice chest yet a strange inability to tan.

8. He loves the Sex Pistols

9. He hates hit father and resents his mother.

10. He has the most evil adorable blue eyes in the world.

Xander had also made another list.

Things I Do Not Know About William Beck

1. Where he goes when he leaves the house.

2. Where the hell he got his new fashion tips from.

3. How he learned to be so damn sexy.

4. Why he gets inexplicably sad from time to time.

5. Why he feels like he needs to be Spike and that William isn’t enough.

6. Why he has ink-stained stacks of poetry hidden under his bed.

7. Why he hates his father so much.

8. Why he gets very shy and cute sometimes when I do something nice for him.

9. Why he immediately becomes callous and bitter afterwards.

10. Why he continues to try and be with me, despite all the crazy shit that’s happened because of us.

Xander hoped some of the answers would come up eventually. It was strange, not knowing who to expect when the boy stumbled down the stairs in the morning. Although, Xander was beginning to suspect the boy barely even knew himself. But Xander was starting to want to learn more about Spike.

And that confused him more than anything.

Part Nineteen

Although Xander had spent most of his life in California, he had seldom gone to the beach. He’d never really felt he fit in there, with all the buff boys and skinny beautiful girls. He’d been a little chubby as a kid and lanky and awkward as a teenager. He hadn’t played any sports, except a brief attempt at the swim team which did not turn out well, and his hair had always been a bit too greasy, legs just a little too long for his body.

Not to mention his addiction to comic books and being best friends with one of the biggest geeks in Sunnydale High. He’d always thought the beach was for people with blonde hair and defined muscles and acres of perfect skin. Meeting Spike had only proved that point further.

But now Xander had grown to love the beach. Granted, it was a private one and there were no burly jocks to shove his face in the sand or taunting girls to give him contemptuous looks. It was just a slice of hot soft sand and gently rocking waves. The only people who ever really used it were Spike with his roaring jet ski and spitting surfboard, Dru who occasionally set out picnics for Cordelia and her dolls, Darla, though rarely, who laid out to wearily soak up the sun, and Xander himself, who jumped in the water to cool himself off.

But he’d also sometimes walk down to sand and rest after his work, lazing and letting the tide brush his feet. It was a perfect come-down after working his ass all day in the hot sun. And it was relatively undisturbed.



“Hey, Xan!”

The man grimaced. Fuck.

“Hello, sir.”

Spike flopped down into the sand next to him, eyeing Xander’s bare chest appreciatively before splashing his feet in the water. “What’cha doing?”

“Resting,” Xander replied dryly.

“Uh huh,” Spike wiggled a little closer to him, snaking an arm behind Xander’s back.

“Yeah. I’ve been working all day. I’m tired. And hot.” Xander eased himself away from the arm.

“Yeah, hot.” Spike stretched and his hand just happened to land on Xander’s thigh. “So what’ve you been doing all day anyways?”

“Um,” the man shifted, trying to displace the hand. “Well Snyder was sick so I had to clean the house, including your disgusting room.”

“Yeah, we really need to get a new maid,” Spike barely perceptibly squeezed Xander’s thigh.

“I don’t think he’d appreciate you calling him that. Sir.” Xander caught his breath as gentle fingers began to slither near his crotch area.

“Yeah well, the old fart can shove it.” Spike leaned into Xander, bare chest pressing against the man’s arm. Xander could feel the pinpricks of his nipples.

“Uhh,” Faint pressure on the growing bulge between his legs.

“Say, didn’t you mention you had a brother?” Spike licked his lips, his own legs spreading apart so the tent in his swim trunks was plainly visible.

Xander nodded. The hand slipped under the waistband of the jeans. He didn’t even bothered to put on underwear anymore.

“Hmm. He look anything like you?” More pressure and now friction, sliding and hot and wet, all in the confines of his baggy jean shorts.

“Uhh, a bit.” Xander didn’t really want to think about Jesse when hot fingers were cupping his balls like that.

“Mmm...He looking for work? I’m sure we could find some place to – put him.” Spike other hand slid down into his shorts. Xander closed his eyes.

Spike whispered into his ear about threesomes and how they’d pay the rent, and when Xander came with a low growl he was disgusted with himself to find that his shudder was only that of lust.


“By the way.”

Actually it wasn’t ‘by the way’ because they hadn’t been talking at all, unless grunts and loud swallows counted as conversation. There was no need to be polite when you were eating alone. “What’s with the new fashion statement?”

Spike gulped the rest of his chicken. “Based it on my idols. Why? You like it?”

Xander let his eyes drift over the leather duster (he must be sweating like crazy), tight black shirt that accented the developing lines of his chest, tight black jeans that had no shame, and the shiny black combat boots that Xander could see himself in.

After a moment of Xander’s silence Spike’s face fell. “You don’t like it.” The boy quietly went back to poking his rice.

“Well, it’s. . .a bit extreme, but no, I do – like it.” Xander awkwardly stated. “Makes you look sexy,” he offered, hoping to make up for his bad start.

The light returned to Spike’s blue eyes and his back straightened a bit. He glanced at Xander and gave him a shy smile.

Xander wondered why those made him shiver even more than the boy’s naughty smiles.

“Buffy doesn’t seem to like but Wes thinks I look good, too.”

Xander didn’t know much about Buffy and even less than the other boy so he remained quiet.

“But Wes would jump my bones if I wore a clown suit.” Spike sipped his Coke, still watching Xander out of the corner of his eye. “Would fuck me any chance he got, yeah.”

The man shifted. And why exactly are you telling me this? Is that where you go in your shiny car? To fuck you little friends? Xander didn’t know why that made him so uncomfortable. Why should I care what he does?


They were quiet for another moment, each finishing their dinner.

“So, uh,” Xander tried to remain casual. “Have you? You know, fucked him?”

Spike waited, eyes searching the man’s face. “Nah. Thought about it, though. Why?”

Xander shrugged, going back to his meal. “No reason,” he replied, glad that there was no relief in his voice. What’s wrong with me?

Spike watched him a moment longer before picking up his plate and moving toward the counter. Xander couldn’t tell if he seemed pleased with himself or disappointed. Maybe neither. Maybe Xander was just being paranoid.

“So,” Xander said suddenly. Spike turned in surprise. “Where do you go? When you leave the house, I mean?”

Spike raised an eyebrow. “To my friends’ houses. Movies. For food. To help Buffy babysit Dawn.”

Xander exploded with laughter. “You babysit?

Spike scowled, slinking out of the kitchen. “Just ‘cause Buffy wanted me to,” he muttered.

Xander continued smiling once the boy had left the room. Movies. Food. Babysitting. Not clubs and to other boy’s bedrooms.

Xander mentally crossed off number one in his Do Not Know list and tried not to analyze why he was so happy.

Part Twenty

Xander stood in front of the door, wishing will all his might that he could turn around and run back to the car. But he’d finally worked up the courage to come here and it’d just be a waste if he wimped out now. So.

Xander gulped.

He reached over and knocked.


“You what?!

Xander cringed, head sagging even lower. If he had a tail it would be glued to his belly right now.

“You- I mean-” There was an exasperated sigh. “Xan, that was not a very smart thing to do.”

“I know,” he replied miserably. What was it about Willow that made him feel all dirty and guilty inside, even if he hadn’t done anything? Must be those damn puppy eyes.

“Well. . .you’ll obviously have to break it off.” Xander head shot up. “I’m surprised Mr. Beck even let you stay. Walking in on his own son like that must’ve been kinda ookie.”

“I’ve tried to break it off!” He exclaimed. “The boy apparently doesn’t take rejection well.”

“But at least you haven’t had sex with him after that.”





“What?! How am I supposed to resist when he’s all evil grin-y and licking his lips and black leather-y and British?”

She raised a brow. “British?” Her eyes widened. “Wait. . .does that have to do with why you spent extra hours at the library after school with Mr. Giles.”

Xander slammed his lemonade onto the table so hard that little drop flew out. “That was just for my community service hours!” He screamed, face reddening considerably.’

She held up a hand but the wide-eyed look didn’t go away. “Okay, okay. But, still, Xan. Spike’s sixteen. And you have enough problems as it is.”

Xander’s hand came up to tiredly rub his forehead. “I know. It’s just. . .” He bit his lip, not sure if he wanted to continue.

“What?” Willow prompted sternly. “Let it out, mister.”

“I don’t know. . .I’m not sure, but I kind of. . .like him.” Xander hid his face behind his hands. After a moment of silence he peaked between his fingers to see a slightly dazed Willow. “Xander,” she stated. “You have the worst luck ever.”


Willow stood on her tip-toes to peck him on the cheek. “Now, you need to call me every night and visit when Tara’s home next time and give Cordy a hug for me and let me talk to Spike when you get home.”

Xander sighed. “Wills, you aren’t going to give him the Shovel Talk.”

“Damn right I will,” she replied. Xander grinned at the cute determined expression.

“We don’t want to scar the kid anymore than he already has been.” Xander gave his friend a final hug before walking out to his car.

While driving, half-listening to INXS sing about devils, he thought over what Willow had said. True, his high school crushes hadn’t been very realistic (or productive) but it seemed different with Spike. Xander didn’t blush and stutter when the boy was around, yet he wanted to be close to him and talk to him. He wanted to spend time with him and have sex with him and maybe even go to another movie with him.

Which was wrong. Because. . .well, just because. It was a whole world of wrong in a universe of bad. And Xander needed to resist.



Spike reclined in the chair, studying Xander curiously. The man kept sneaking glances at him in the glow of the television. Was something wrong? Spike leaned forward and the brown eyes flickered back to the TV set.

Or maybe this was Xander’s idea of a come-on.

Spike let a lazy grin stretch across his face. He silkily moved from the chair to the couch, not making a sound. He saw the knuckles on the hand Xander was gripping the couch with turn white. Spike’s grin widened and he let his arm slide across the couch, right onto Xander’s leg.

The man visibly jumped at the contact, and, just as Spike’s fingers began to creep toward-


The boy paused. That isn’t a very sexy voice. He looked up at Xander.

“We need to talk.”

Oh shit.

Spike withdrew his hand. “You sound like m’bleeding dad.” He muttered.

Xander sighed and his hands twisted together in his lap.

Oh, this can’t go anywhere good, Spike mentally groaned.

“Um, I went to go talk to my friend today,” Xander began, “and, uh, told her about us.”

Spike’s eyes widened.

“And she obviously disapproves.”

Spike’s heart sank like a stone. Oh no. Please don’t say it.

“And she says I should have broken it off a long ago.”

Spike began to sweat. But why was he so worried anyways? So he loses a good shag. Plenty others. But somehow he just couldn’t convince himself that he didn’t care.

“And she is my best friend and she is usually right about things. . .”

Bloody hell, forget pride. “No!”

“. . .What?” Xander blinked at the outburst.

“No, you can’t bloody dump me!” Spike cried.

Xander blinked again. “‘Dump you?’ Since when are we dating?”

“Since you bloody fucked me!” Spike fumed. “S’not like I bend over for just anybody! And then we went to the movie. . .” And Spike trailed off, realizing how stupid he sounded. Wow. I’ve actually turned into a bint. Forget the surgery, just go shag Xander.

But strangely, the man wasn’t looking at him like he was an idiot. Or a girl. He was just smiling.

Has he lost his fucking mind?

“Okay,” Xander said.


“What?” It was Spike’s turn to ask.

“So, you’re saying we’re dating? That this isn’t just sex? Because if it is, then I will have to break it off. I like you, but I’m not going to get fired over a few meaningless blowjobs.”

Spike stared at him. “But. . .you won’t break it off if we’re dating?”

“If there’s a chance of an actual relationship, then I won’t. But I’ve enough pointless flings to last a lifetime.” Xander shrugged.

Spike felt a happy glow in his stomach. “’Kay. Then yeah.”

Xander once again was in the debt of his best friend. He'd been wary of her advice that if Spike truly liked him back he would pull through when Xander threatened to break it off (he was ridiculously proud, after all) but she'd been right after all. Maybe he would get her that laptop for Christmas.

For Spike and Xander, there was a happy, slightly awkward moment.

“Right then, we gonna shag?”

“I already laid a blanket out on the beach.”

“Thoughtful, luv. I was cleanin’ sand outta my crack for weeks after last time.”

“See? We’re already a perfect couple.”

“Sure. But if you start bringing me flowers I’ll stab you in the neck.”

Part Twenty-One

Spike watched as Xander jumped a foot in the air, hands wildly patting his backside. The movement was followed quickly by a heavy blush. “So that’s what ‘vibrate’ means,” he muttered, pulling the cellphone out of his back pocket.

Spike smirked and silently rewarded himself for tampering with the device.

Xander flipped open the phone and pressed it to his ear, using his free hand to wipe the sweaty strands of hair out of his eyes. “Hello?”

Spike watched as the man’s face broke into a smile. “Hey Wills.”

He was instantly jealous.

“Um, yeah, it went good.” Brown eyes flickered in his direction. Spike’s attitude took a huge upward swoop. Yay.

“Uh. . .I thought you were joking.” Xander’s eyebrows furrowed and he began to look worried.

A muffled chattering on the other end, barely audible from Spike’s position.

Willow,” Xander groaned. He didn’t look 25 right now. He looked about 4. No wonder we get along.

After a long moment, the man sighed. “All right,” he whined dejectedly, snapping the phone shut with a pained expression.

“What was that about?” Spike asked, pulling out a cigarette and lighting up. Xander eyed it, frowning, and snatched it out of his hands. He crushed it under the heel of his shoe.

“Those fill your lungs with tar.”

Spike stuck his tongue out at him. “Don’t bloody care, now do I?”

“I don’t like kissing smokers.”

Spike paused with his hand clamped around the lighter. He surreptitiously slipped it back into his duster pocket.

“Anyways,” he coughed. “Who’s the bint?”

“Willow,” Xander sighed, the phone conversation coming back to him. “My best friend.”

“Uh huh.” Spike noticed that from this angle there was a very revealing view of the man’s lower back area. Xander unconsciously hitched up his pants and Spike sighed also.

“She, uh. Wants to meet you.”

Spike was thinking about slipping away to the other end of the yard for a smoke until that sentence replayed itself in his head. He blinked.

“She what, now?” He glanced up at Xander worriedly.

“She wants to meet you,” he muttered, staring down at the ground, again very much like a four-year-old.


“Um. . .O–okay.” The boy stammered.

He blinked again then ran off for a very, very long smoke behind the shed.

Oh bloody hell. What am I going to wear?


When Willow walked into the diner, she wasn’t sure what to expect. So seeing two ducked heads, one belonging to her oldest friend, and the bodies they were connected to both fidgeting like kids waiting to see the principal didn’t really surprise her all that much. She swallowed a grin and slid into the booth.

Xander’s head popped up. “Hey Willow,” he said with a half-genuine half-nauseous smile. Willow knew Xander depended heavily on her opinion and that if she didn’t approve he might stop seeing this boy he liked so much. The boy in question glanced up to meet her eyes.

Wow, good job Xan.

The kid was pretty. Not handsome like Xander or cute like Willow herself, but strangely delicate besides his clothes and pretty. A few bleach-bright loose curls had managed to break free of their over-gelled prison and dangle over his blue eyes. He had sharp cheekbones that looked like Willow would cut her hand if she touched, and full, pouty lips. The only odd thing was the tone of his skin (How can you be pale in California?) and his guarded expression. Like he was just waiting for Willow to insult him.

“Hi. I’m Willow.”

The boy stared at the proffered hand. After a hard elbow jab from Xander he reached out and shook it briskly. His hand was slightly cool.


A waitress came by and took their drink orders.

“So,” Willow started. “How’d you meet Xander?”

Spike raised a brow. “He works for us.”

“Oh yeah.”

There was an awkward silence.

Their drinks came.

Xander took a very large gulp of beer.

Willow sighed. “Xan, how about you go to the bathroom.”

“But I don’t need to-” He saw the look on her face. “Okay,” he replied meekly. He turned and gave Spike his best ‘good luck’ eyes and walked off to the men’s room.


As Xander was coming back to the table, he saw Spike sunk low into the seat, hands tightly gripping the bottom of it and trembling. His eyes were as wide as the plate his burger came on.

“-and beat you to death with a shovel.”

Willow turned to see Xander and smiled sweetly at him. “Hey, Xan. We had a good talk.”

He glanced over at Spike. The boy stared at him with huge eyes and barely perceptibly shook his head as if he was afraid Willow would see it.

“I saw that.”

Xander winced. He gingerly sat down beside Spike. “She’s usually not this. . .extreme,” he assured the boy. “Just a little protective.”

Spike whimpered.

Xander ate a french fry. Spike didn’t touch his food.


“Sorry about Willow there,” Xander said, taking off his jacket and slinging it over the dresser.

“S’no problem.” She had been more civil towards the end of the meal and he and she had pretty much gotten along. “She’s okay.”

“She liked you,” Xander offered, helping Spike out of his shirt.

“Mmm, good.” Spike kissed the man’s neck.

“Yeah. And so I think it’s safe to say she approves.” He laid the boy down on the bed.

“Her approval means a lot to you then?” He breathed shakily as stubble grazed his inclined thigh.

Xander paused. “Yes,” he murmured against silky skin, thinking of school and girls and boys and clothes and love. “It really does.”

“Yeah,” Spike gasped, back arching and fingers crinkling the sheets.

“Yeah,” Xander hummed, words muffled by hardening flesh.

Their repeated agreements echoed over the empty house.

Part Twenty-Two

Spike fingered the keys to his Mustang. The mental tug-of-war inside his head was causing it to ache.

It’d be fun. And educational. I really should go just to see what else is out there.

Not that I mean to cheat on Xan or anything. Just have a good look. Just see what it’s like.

But the war was not one-sided and the other end yanked back with a good dose of guilt and, ashamedly, a little fear. The extent of his sexual exploration amounted to a handful of second-hand magazines via Wes, good old internet porn, a few awkward fumblings behind the school, and now Xander, who had opened up a whole new world.

But lately Spike had been wondering just what kind of world it really was. The world of secret relationships and paranoid kisses? The world where you couldn’t hold hands without glancing over your shoulder to make sure no one was watching? What really could come of that?

Although with any man he’d have to watch where he held hands, but shouldn’t the privacy of his own home be a sanctuary in itself? And anyways, besides age, besides job status, besides parents, did Spike really like Xander that much? Of course he liked him, liked him a lot actually, but he didn’t have any other real relationships to compare it to. Had he even given other boys a chance?

Not really.

But here was the tie-breaker, the ultimate extra pull from one end of the rope or the other that would result in toppling over and a definite victory, whatever the outcome.

Do I want to?


Xander sat on the chair in the kitchen, staring blankly out the window.

“He’s just a kid, Xander,” Danny murmured from the other end of the table. “Kids like to go out and have fun on their birthday.”

“Yeah,” Xander sighed. He glanced down at the table. I was just hoping he’d want to have fun with me.

He looked up at the small mountain of presents on the counter. The boy’s mother and father had left them there along with a note wishing him a happy day and an apology that they couldn’t share it with him. Excuses trailed down the paper in a weary woman’s handwriting, well-used and unoriginal.

“Don’t feel bad,” Danny continued, so unlike him. “He’s reckless and stupid.”

Xander let a wry grin twist his lips. “Thanks.”

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Danny smile a little, another rarity.

The click-clack of tiny toenails pattered up to Xander’s side. He let his arm hang down and soon a wet tongue was laving it with licks. Danny clucked his tongue and instantly the pup was scrabbling to his side and jumping into his lap. “You really seem to have connected with her,” Xander commented, one eyebrow raised at the scene.

Danny patted the top of her head, looking thoroughly pleased with himself. “I get along well with dogs,” he replied smugly.

“Obviously.” Cordy’s stub of a tail was about to fall off her butt from over-wagging.

They were silent for a moment and Xander’s depression slowly settled back in, weighing heavily on his chest. He’s just a kid, he reminded himself. And he has other friends who probably threw him a party or something. Which is more than I could do. I bet he isn’t even thinking about me. Which is okay. He needs some time to focus just on himself. He deserves it.

It had only been a few days ago that they were celebrating Willow's approval. But as this birthday approached, Spike had become more and more distant, spending time with Wes instead of Xander. He'd been jealous but tried to undetsand; Spike needed other friends too. It's fine, Xander kept assuring hismelf. But then why did he feel like he was losing something, even as he sat and did nothing?


Music pulsed from the very walls of this place, trembling the ground, winding its way up your spine into your limbs, urging you to follow its lead. Spike loved music. You could lose yourself in it, swim in endless vibrations and wailing notes, forgetting everything else.

Spike had forgotten.

He’d forgotten his fear, forgotten his guilt for the fake ID, forgotten that Wes was only a friend, and forgotten that he was just a kid.

Because when men looked at him that way, he didn’t feel like a kid. He felt like some sort of god, with envious eyes gliding over his body and under his clothes, until the eyes became hands and the hands became mouths.

Spike had never experienced something like this, and decided it was about time he had. Everyone else had. Why shouldn’t he?

He let himself be led away from the music by dark eyes and, after a brief prompting by Wes, found himself resting on top of a very high cloud and not looking to come down anytime soon.

I didn’t know it was like this.

Where was the danger adults had constantly warned him about? Where were the dirty old strangers offering candy from street corners and lying between their teeth?

It wasn’t really like that at all, he decided. There were just beautiful men, not scraggly strangers, and escapes from reality, not dangerous drugs. Spike’s own orgasms shocked him, as he hadn’t been expecting them, and he let himself be lulled by the continuing bass.

After far too many drinks, and even more men, Spike glanced down at his watch and realized he was seventeen.


Xander waited until midnight before getting up and leaving for his room. He tried not to feel disappointed, but wasn’t even up to spending the needed energy for believing that utter lie. He might as well accept it, after all.

He’s forgotten me.

Even though it was only for a night, Xander was beginning to suspect that now he was stuck firmly in the boy’s past. Sixteen, the year of Xander. Seventeen. . .the year of forgetting.

Xander sighed, sick of wallowing in all that crap. It’s alright. It was bound not to work anyways. He’s only a kid and doesn’t know what he really wants. Maybe he’ll find it. I’ll be fine. I can handle it.

But he didn’t even attempt to believe that one either.


By the time he was safely in the back seat of Wes’s car, Spike was just beginning to realize what he’d discovered.

“So I take it you had a good birthday?” Wes grinned, glancing back at him. Spike leaned forward so their foreheads touched.

“Perfect,” he smiled. They kissed a little longer than friends should.

As he was being driven home, the soft grey of dawn beginning to creep into the sky, Spike suddenly remembered Xander. He felt a sharp jab of guilt and fear at spending the whole night away without telling the man where he was. What if he wanted to be with me on my birthday?

But then he wouldn’t have had the amazing experience that he had at the club. What would he have done with Xander? Have a quiet meal and watch TV? Spike almost snorted at the idea. After his night, that behavior seemed so. . .tame. Almost boringly so. But Xander wouldn’t have gone to the club with him. That much was sure.

Spike watched his house approach, dark windows against the lightening sky and a tranquil ocean stretching out behind it. It was peacefully quiet. Spike was caught between missing the overwhelming noise and being relieved for having a moment of silence.

Wes stalled the car and stepped out, walking around to open Spike’s door. He held out his hand to the blonde and waited to help pull him out.

Spike realized he was on one of those dividing cliffs, like in cartoons. One piece of land was going to the right and the other was going to the left, leaving him with his legs beginning to split away from each other, and soon he’d have to jump to one side before he fell. In this case, the choices were Xander or the new lifestyle he’d discovered.

Safe or dangerous? Affection or lust? A relationship or a handful of hot one-night stands?

William or Spike?

Spike let Wes help him out of the car and thanked him, gave him another peck, and walked to his door. He bypassed the heap of presents on the counter, leaving them for much later, and, as he walked pass Xander’s room, paused to stare at the door. He could open it very quietly and crawl into bed with the man, apologizing profusely and saying it was terrible of him not to have called. Flinch when he says he’d waited all night.

Spike remained there a moment longer before continuing down the hall to his own empty room. He decided it was just easier to forget.

Part Twenty-Three

Xander wasn’t sure what was going on. The day after Spike’s birthday he’d trudged downstairs to find the pile of presents untouched on the counter. Now, if Xander knew anything, it was that Spike never left presents untouched. Even on Dru’s birthday he had eagerly prodded her to open the gifts, pretending not to care but leaning over her shoulder to see what was behind the sparkly paper. It was kind of cute.

But the blue wrapping paper was still very much intact and the bright red ribbons were still perched perfectly in the centers. Xander didn’t know how Spike with his raccoon eye could have resisted the glittery temptations. Unless. . .he hadn’t even come home.

Xander tried not to cringe.

There’s only one way to find out.

He quietly padded back up the stairs and down the hall, stopping before the boy’s bedroom. Carefully, he twisted the knob and let the door glide a few inches into the room. The hinges were always well oiled and never squeaked. Xander peered into the dimly lit room. A lump was in the middle of the messy bed, and one arm hung down from the side. There was black nail polish on the fingernails that had worn away at the edges.

Xander let out a silent breath in relief. At least he did come home. He glanced at the glowing clock beside the boy’s bed. 10:45. Spike would still be asleep on any day at the time. He slept, like, sixteen hours a day. Teenagers.

But, still.

Xander couldn’t shake off the feeling that this was a different kind of sleep. He strained his ears, hoping to hear the boy’s breathing. Was it slower? Was he snoring quietly like he did in Xander’s bed? Was he sleeping as contentedly as he did after they’d had sex?

What had Spike been doing last night?

If he was with his friends, like Xander had originally thought, then they’d probably thrown a party for him or something. He couldn’t really see them doing anything too bad (although that Wes is pretty wild) but he didn’t really know any of them well enough to judge. But if he hadn’t gone out with his friends. . .

Then where could he have gone?

He was too young to get into anywhere like a bar (but pretty enough to anyways, his mind reminded), but that didn’t mean he could rule it out.

He’s never mentioned going anywhere like that. Spike talked about going to movies and dances and stuff with his friends, but he’d never mentioned going to a bar or club. If he had, surely he would have bragged about it to Xander. It was his favorite hobby.

I’m overanalyzing this, Xander reasoned with himself. And what if he did go to a party or a club? So what? He’s a teenager. That’s what they do.

But it wasn’t the actual place he’d gone to that Xander was worried about, and he knew it.

It’s what he did there.

Still, there’s no proof of anything. He could have been babysitting Dawn, for all I know.

At this point Xander realized he was still standing in the doorway staring at Spike’s sleeping form in the bed. He quietly closed the door and walked back down the stairs. He decided to stop worrying about what (or who) Spike had done last night and take Danny’s advice. After all, he’d find out soon enough.


Spike realized that there’s a price to pay for having the greatest night ever. It was having the worst morning.

“Unngghhh. . .”

This is not one of the good mornings-after. This is the morning after from hell.

He slowly pulled the covers off his head and cranked his neck in the direction of the clock. 12:31. Fuck.

His mom would be home by now. Probably. She’d be wondering why he hadn’t opened his presents last night.

I’ll just tell her I was with Wes all night. Which was true.

Spike carefully sat up, rubbing his throbbing head, and walked slowly towards the bathroom. A shower will help. Showers cure everything.

But, unfortunately, showers also cause memories to come back. Damn, I really outdid myself last night. He’d had a blast. Sex, drugs, beer, more sex, dancing. It was hands down the best birthday he’d ever had. But why do I feel like I’m forgetting --



. . .yeah. . .


What was he going to do? Hadn’t the man just said he wanted to be in an actual almost-relationship with Spike?

Shit shit shit.

And Spike had just gone out and fucked every male thing he could get his hands on.

How could he tell Xander that?

But, as the water dribbled down his hair and over his closed eyelids, more memories and feeling from the night before returned. Fun, enjoyment, and pleasure. Kissing Wes. Sudden wariness directed at Xander and the life that he secured. It wouldn’t be clubbing and anonymous sex and uplifting drugs. It would be. . .well, Spike wasn’t sure what it would be, but he knew it wouldn’t be the things he’d experienced last night.

But did Spike really want those things?

They were fun, yes, but even he knew there was no real future in them. Xander was solid and kind and lo -- really liked him. Wes’s world (as he’d come to think of it) was dangerous. But the flashy lights managed to disguise that fact, even if they didn’t really.

But Spike was a teenager. . .Xander was an adult. Spike should be out having fun. It was what he was supposed to do; if he didn’t experience it now then he’d feel like he’d been missing out on something for the rest of his life. He wanted to go out and have fun.

And that was the dilemma. Did Spike want fun more, or Xander more? He’d surely worked harder for Xander, but that was before he’d known just exactly was out there. Did Xander still really mean as much, now that other boys were actually a possibility?

Only one way to find out.


Xander was actually surprised when he came inside to see Spike sitting at the table munching on a bowl of Cheerios. The presents were now strewn about the kitchen, thoroughly unwrapped. Ah, the world is as it should be.

Xander could help but feel a smile tug at his lips as he took in the sleep-rumpled boy with his hair tousled and ungelled, growing a milk moustache as he stared at the back of the cereal box.


The word brought Spike out of his daze. “Oh. Hey.”

The conversation pretty much ended there. “Sooo. . .” Xander sprawled into the chair at the counter. “Have fun last night?”

Xander was surprised at his own boldness, and so was, apparently, Spike.

“Uh. Yeah. Loads.”

“Good.” Xander picked at a fuzz on his shirt. “So, uh, what’d you do exactly?”

Again with the surprisey-ness and the raised eyebrows on Spike. “Um. Hung out with Wes.”

Xander wasn’t sure if he should be relieved or not. “Not Buffy?” He went for surprised.

“She was busy.”

“Even on your birthday?”

Spike was beginning to look at him suspiciously. “Why are you asking so many questions?”

“Well, I just wanted to know where you were for the four hours I waited for you.” Xander stared the boy down coolly.

Spike visibly flinched and looked down into his cereal.

“So?” Xander asked after a moment. He didn’t care if he sounded like a bastard anymore. He wanted to know where the fuck Spike had been. “Where were you?”

The boy’s wide blue eyes flickered up to his own, looking quite guilty and a bit fearful. And Xander would have totally caved right then if he wasn’t so pissed.

“I. . .went to a club.”

Oh shit.

And Xander’s worst fears were confirmed. Because you can’t go to a club and not fuck somebody.

“What happened?”

Spike glanced back down at his now soggy cereal. A few o’s floated around in clusters. Xander used to try and form his name out of them, but it never worked.

The boy shrugged.

“Bullshit.” Xander was now tightly gripping the edge of his seat.

Spike blinked and from the expression on his face almost looked about to cry. Yeah right. If there was something Spike didn’t do, it was cry.

“We. . .I don’t know. Danced. Drank.”

Xander waited.

“Did some stuff. Had fun. It was just fun. I didn’t mean to–” The boy’s face screwed up and he closed his eyes.

Oh my god. He’s crying. He’s actually crying. Xander had made Spike the Brat cry into his cereal bowl. He felt lower than shit. But at the same time, the boy’s confession echoed around his head. He’d just admitted that he’d done stuff. Probably lots of stuff. With lots of people. Maybe even Wes.

Xander got up.

Then he saw the present he’d gotten Spike. A black electric guitar leaning reverently against the counter. He’d spent a good chunk of money on it; money he could have used to get his own apartment, for his own life. Instead of on this boy who wasn’t grateful for it.

Xander slid open the door and stepped outside as Spike dropped his head into his arms and cried.

Part Twenty-Four

Spike spent a lot of time alone the next few days.

Wes had called him a few times, but thanks to Caller I.D. Spike didn’t have to answer. He stayed in his room mostly; kind of like he used to before Xander had come. Which was only three months ago but felt like a century.

Before Xander, Spike used to write a lot in his room. That and play PS2 until his brains leaked out his ears. He still wrote. Not as much, which was strange considering he now had tons more to write about, but his mind always seemed so cluttered and it was difficult to get that mess down on paper. The right words wouldn’t come and he’d end up getting even more frustrated than he already was.

So now, Spike played guitar.

He’d had a friend who moved to L.A. named Rupert who had been in a little garage band with some of his friends. He was practically a genius at guitar and his band’s songs usually included a ferocious wailing solo from Rupert, which had earned him the nickname Ripper. His close friends had called him G-Man, though. Spike and he’d been friends and Spike had gone to a few of their shows and practices. He’d been enraptured by the way Rupert played the guitar, so focused and passionately. Finally Rupert had offered him some lessons, showing him the different chords and even a few basic songs. Spike was a swift learner and picked up very quickly. But after Rupert and his band left for L.A., Spike was without an instrument to practice with and his skills had gotten a little rusty.

Now, however, he had a brand new black Gibson that was making his fingers itch.

Spike let his fingers drift over the strings, pick between his teeth. It was a great guitar. Xander must have spent a fortune on it.

Spike closed his eyes.

He’d felt like shit for three days. Xander had been ignoring him. Not that he was making a big effort to go talk to him, either. No, Spike had holed himself up in his room and refused to think about anything important. He just let his muddled mind work itself out on paper and music.

He knew, however, that eventually he’d have to face this mess he’d made.

He knew that eventually he’d have to come to a definite decision, despite his uncertainty.

But for now, it was just easier to let his fingers pick at the strings and have the soft notes soothe his mind for a while.



Xander sighed and looked up from the potted plant he was watering. The Becks had one those really annoying rings to their phone that got incredibly loud then spiraled down to a low vibration.


Xander jumped over the counter and snatched the phone off the hook. “Hello?” He’d gotten used to answering the phone, despite not being part of the family.

“Hello, is this Liam Beck?” A formal voice asked him.

“No, but I can take a message.” Xander grabbed a pad of paper.

“Well, is William Beck there?” The voice asked again.

“Um, just a minute.”

Xander set the phone down on the counter. “Spike!” He waited but the boy didn’t answer. “Come on, I know you’re up there! Someone’s on the phone for you!” Still no answer. “Little fucker,” Xander muttered before bringing the phone to his ear again.

“I’m sorry, he’s not available right now. Do you want to call back later?”

The voice paused then sighed.


Spike felt bad for not answering the phone, but he knew it was just Wes calling and asking him to go do something. He had told Spike on his birthday that he was going to go to this huge party in a few days, and he had called about a dozen times last night, probably to get Spike to go with him.

Spike wasn’t sure what he was going to do, but he didn’t want to see Wes right now. Although the boy had opened up a new world for him, he had also taken a huge chunk out of Spike’s life; the Xander-shaped chunk. He wasn’t sure if he could forgive Wes for that, or if he even wanted to.

Spike had just flipped on Jerry Springer when there was a quiet knock on his door. “What?” he called over the crowd’s chants. There was another knock and no answer. Spike muted the TV. “What is it?” he called again. There was a longer pause this time then the Spike heard Xander’s voice from the behind the door.

“Can you let me in?”

Spike’s breath caught in his throat. Xander didn’t sound mad. He sounded almost. . .sad. Oh god. What if he was breaking it off? What if he had come up to tell Spike he was going to leave and never wanted to see him again?

His legs seemed to move of their own volition and walked him numbly towards the door. He opened it with a click and saw Xander standing in the hallway with his eyes on the ground. Spike’s heart did a little flip-flop in his chest and his stomach suddenly felt like it was about to end up around his ankles. “What?” he asked, voice strangely quiet.

Xander swallowed visibly, hands slipping into his pockets. He coughed. “There was, um.” He paused, a pained look arriving on his face. “That was the police.”

Spike’s blood froze.

“They, uh. They have Wes. . .” Xander finally looked up at him, meeting Spike wide, frightened eyes. “He’s dead, Spike.”


Xander had known a few people who had died.

His friend Doyle had gotten into an accident at his work site. His uncle had had a heart attack and died in the hospital when he was eight. One of his high school teachers, too, had died and his class had had to attend this group therapy thing for a while. His friend’s grandparents and things had died too, so he knew how to comfort and what to say.

But he’d never had a lover’s friend die.

Anya hadn’t really had too many friends and didn’t keep in touch with her family. And -- well, she was pretty much the only serious relationship he’d been in. What was he supposed to say to Spike? Especially after the whole mess they were in the middle of now?

Fortunately, Spike solved this problem.

After the moment had shock had worn off, he’d broken down big time. Suddenly there was no gap between them and the chaos from before was gone. Xander helped a trembling Spike to the bed where he gasped and grabbed Xander, burying his face into his chest and sobbing into his shirt. Xander put his arms around the boy, murmuring comforts and apologies and making soothing circles into his back. Although when he spoke, ‘William’ came out instead of ‘Spike.’ Xander made no effort to stop that.

The boy cried and shook until he wore himself out, then he just focused on breathing, one deep breath after another. His mind was strangely clear. The chaos from before had somehow slipped away and him left him blank. Almost peaceful. But then he’d think of the actual magnitude of what had happened and the meaning would come crashing down on him.

Wes was dead.

Wes was dead.

He’d never see him again.

But. . .


“What, baby?” Xander looked down and Spike realized he was resting his head on Xander’s shoulder and was cradled against his body. There was a soothing hand in his hair and the endearment did wonders to calm him. “How did he. . .”

He couldn’t say it.

Couldn’t even say his name.

But Xander understood. “He. . .” He stopped short.

“Tell me.” He needed to know. Even if he couldn’t handle it.

Xander gave in. “He O.D.’d. The police found him outside some guy’s house last night. There was some party—”

Spike felt his stomach roil and the next thing he knew he was leaning over a puddle and his mouth tasted like acid. Xander kept soothing him and wiped his mouth and finally, when the boy simply couldn’t handle it anymore, he slipped away to sleep.


After the funeral, Spike began to spend more and more time with Buffy. He told himself it was for moral support, but secretly he knew it was because he felt guilty. One of his best friends had died and he had refused to even answer his calls the day before. Spike felt like. . .well, shit was an understatement.

Xander assured him that there was no way he could have known. “I knew he was going to the fucking party! I could have convinced him not to!” Spike had shouted.

“Will, you, were the one at the fucking party just last week. Besides, he wouldn’t have listened to you even if you did warn him.” That was another thing. Xander had stopped calling him Spike. That both angered and comforted the boy.

Buffy, on the other hand, needed just as much comfort as Spike did. They had both loved Wes, despite his sometimes reckless behavior. But Buffy also had to care for Dawn, now that her mom was sick. Spike helped out a lot and it was nice to be needed. Nice to have someone that had never stopped caring for him.

Xander hasn’t stopped, his mind prompted. But that wasn’t the same. I stopped caring for him. Although Spike wasn’t even sure that was true. It was too confusing.

His parents had been sympathetic. They’d liked Wes, or at least his mom had. His dad has always been wary of him because. . .well, Wes wasn’t the manliest man ever. Spike secretly wondered if his dad thought Wes was the source of his not-quite-straightness. The truth was that Wes was the only one who had actually helped him come to terms with it.

Spike felt awful for ignoring Wes’s calls the days before his death, but Xander assured him that Wes probably understood. Spike had been a little overwhelmed from his first time at a club and needed some time to collect himself. Wes was pretty understanding, after all. He’d accepted Spike no matter what, and that was the basis of their strong friendship.

As for the way Wes had died. . .Spike decided never to get into a situation like that. Wes wouldn’t have wanted him to die too, and the actual extent of the danger that Wes’s world had hidden was now agonizingly apparent. Spike decided to stay away from clubs and drugs and flashing lights. At least until he was sure he could handle himself.

Xander had helped him come to this decision. Because if Spike had been in charge, surely he would have run himself into the ground with guilt and anger. But Xander, ever the anchor, managed to keep him out of trouble. Spike figured that was one of the reasons he loved the man.

But he still wasn’t sure he was ready for a real relationship. He did, however, love to have someone close to him who would listen to him and call him Will. He wouldn’t mind sex, either. So he wasn’t sure where he stood with Xander. Except that he needed him, in some form or another. Hopefully things would work themselves out and he’d end up where he was supposed to be.


Part Twenty-Five

A week after Wes’s funeral Spike joined a band. A few of his semi-friends from school mentioned to someone who mentioned to someone who mentioned to Spike that they needed a lead guitarist. Spike wasn’t sure if he was quite ready to take such a huge role in a band after so little practice, but after one audition he was immediately accepted. Apparently he was good.

The band’s name was Big Bad and the other members, Steve, Jason, and Nathan, gladly embraced Spike’s talent. He became the official lead guitarist and backup vocals.

It was a huge relief for Spike to have something to take his mind off of all the things that had been going wrong in his life. Wes, his parents, and Xander seemed to melt away under the tremor of notes.

“Guess what?” Jason’s grinning voice said into his ear. Spike shifted to phone to his shoulder as he spread peanut butter onto a piece of bread. “What?”

“I got us a gig.” Jason replied smugly.

“Really? That’s fucking great!” Spike smiled and sucked a glob of peanut butter off his finger. “Where?”

“The Bronze.”

Spike’s heart did an excited little dance. He’d only been to the Bronze a few times; it was mostly college kids that went there to party and get drunk.

“Friday, eight o’clock. It’s gonna be great.” There was a pause. “I gotta go. See ya.”

“See ya.”

Spike hung up. He’d gotten along famously well with his new bandmates. Spike had been wary because it was common knowledge that he was gay, but the other guys didn’t mind at all. They were those skater, sort of modern-day hippies, left-wing types that weren’t really bothered by anything and liked to have fun. Spike fit in perfectly.

There were footsteps behind him and Spike tensed a little.

He was still very confused about Xander.

The man had been great after Wes had died, not holding a grudge or anything and letting Spike cry against him and even holding him when he needed it. Spike was eternally grateful that Xander knew exactly what he needed.

But now the initial pain of Wes’s death was slowly fading away. He had other things to occupy his mind and the numb feeling was gradually being replaced with warmth again. Did that mean he didn’t need Xander anymore? Spike knew that was being callous, but was it the truth?

“Ah yes, P.B. and J. Gourmet dish of the wealthy.”

Despite himself, Spike barked a laugh. “Well, you haven’t been doing too bad yourself, mate. And you eat here too.”

“I suppose.” Xander heaved a sigh and grabbed a pre-made ham sandwich off a plate. “It hasn’t been easy, though.”

Spike snorted into his own sandwich and sat down at the table. It was nice that things weren’t awkward between them.

“So.” Xander glanced up. “Was that one of your fellow rockers?”

Spike rolled his eyes. “Yes. He got us a gig.”

“Really?” Xander raised his eyebrows and took a bit of his sandwich. “Where?”

“The Bronze,” Spike replied casually, silently gauging Xander’s reaction. Despite everything, he still wanted to impress the man. I am the definition of pathetic.

The eyebrows remained up and, perhaps, rose a bit higher. “Wow. Good luck. I’m sure you guys are great.”

Spike felt a little bit of a proud blush form around his ears. “Thanks,” he mumbled into his food. Bloody hell. Why can’t I be all cold and bad-ass again?

“I’ll be there,” Xander promised, sipping his milk.

Spike’s heart flip-flopped. “Really?” That would definitely screw him up, seeing Xander in the crowd watching him. But he also really wanted the man to see him play.


“. . .Cool. Thanks.” They finished their lunch rather quietly. Finally Spike stood up, announcing he had to go practice. He’d have to be doing a lot of practicing if Xander was going to be there.


Eight o’clock rolled around rather slowly Friday night. Spike was exceptionally nervous, jumping around backstage like a four year old on crack. Steve, Jason, and Nathan were no better. It was their first time really on stage.

The reggae band ahead of them slowly dwindled down and eventually left the stage.

Oh shit. I’m not ready for this.

They’d only had a few weeks of practice and Spike was having major second thoughts.

But before he could even think about backing out Jason grabbed their equipment and began setting up. The rest of them slowly followed. Spike tested his guitar and, despite his anxiety, felt a thrill at the defeaning sound that came from the speakers.

Jason looked back at him from the lead singer’s position and smiled. It was a don’t worry, everything’s going to be fine smile. Spike appreciated the thought but decided it looked ten times better on Xander.

Then, with a sudden wailing screech of guitar, the curtains swished open.


After their performance, Spike promptly went backstage and dunked his head in a bucket of ice water. Then he joined his bandmates again for yet more victory drinks. There was a round of ‘great job’s and ‘permanent gig’s and ‘more beer’s as he cheerily laughed along. Steve was in the middle of a discussion about the best brands of bass when Spike noticed Xander hanging around the edges of the crowd. He quickly severed the conversation, apologizing distractedly to Steve, before running over to Xander.

“So?” he asked breathlessly, grin already stretching across his face. He’d seen Xander watching him the whole time and although it set him on edge at first, he got over it and had even braved a grin in the man’s direction once in a while.

“So?” Xander grinned. “I think you know how you did by now, judging by everyone’s reaction.” He waved towards the excited crowd.

“Yeah, well I wanna hear you say it.” Spike cocked his head, still smiling.

Xander laughed breathily, rolling his eyes. “You were fucking fantastic. And you know it.”

Spike’s grin grew even wider. He bounced happily on the balls of his feet and, maybe because he was a little drunk and maybe because he was a little high on exhilaration, he leaned forward and pulled Xander in for a hug, smacking him playfully on the cheek.

There was a whistle behind them and Spike turned around faster than Xander could blink.

Jason was leaning against the bar, beer in hand and eyebrows raised humorously. “Didn’t know you were into older guys, Spike,” he commented. The boy blushed so hard he almost burst a vein. Jason laughed. “You look cute together.” He winked at them then continued his conversation with another skater.

Spike, who’s entire body was bright red, fidgeted but grinned sheepishly. Xander laughed nervously. “Not sure I should trust any words that come out of that mouth.”

Spike laughed, knowing Xander was referring to the ample curse words they used in their songs.

There was a silence that was almost comfortable.

“I’ll leave you to your afterparty, then,” Xander finally said. “Some people need to work in the morning.”

Spike snorted but didn’t go back to his band. Xander turned and began to weave through the crowd.

Spike should go back to his friends.

The ones his age.

Spike should go back to being a kid and have fun.

Spike should go get drunk and make sure he regrets it the next day.

But Spike wants to go home and snuggle on the couch.

“Xander, wait!” The boy jumped after him, reaching out to grab his jacket. He turned around, dark eyes bemused under drawn eyebrows.

Spike blinked. He gulped. He smiled. “Will you take me home?”


There was no one at home, save a white puppy curled up on the couch. Xander shrugged off his jacket and uncertainly made him way to the TV. Spike followed. He wasn’t sure why he’d come home with Xander. It just felt more. . .comfortable than hanging around with his drunken friends. He’d had enough of the party scene. He just hoped he hadn’t ruined his relationship with Xander so badly that it couldn’t be repaired.

If Xander would have him then. . .Spike was his.

Unaware of this epiphany happening in the boy’s mind, Xander settled down in front of an old horror movie. “Join me?” He grinned over his shoulder.

“Actually, I’d love to.”

Spike maneuvered Cordy away and sat perhaps a little closer to Xander than friends should sit. The man didn’t comment or tense up. In fact, he seemed to relax at the movement.

They watched the old movie, laughing at the cheesy screams and graphics, reciting the lines in an over-dramatic voice. Spike pretended to be terrified when the badly made-up creature lumbered across the screen. Xander mock saved him, shielding him from the ‘monster’ while making karate motions in the direction of the television. Spike kept giggling against Xander chest, so they weren’t able to hold up the scene for very long.

But Spike didn’t move, even when the people destroyed the monster.

Or when the credits rolled across the screen.

Or when an infomercial began advertising car insurance.

In fact, neither of them moved.

Spike could hear Xander’s heart thudding in his chest. It was maybe a little fast. Maybe a little loud. Spike figured his own was probably going a mile a minute. They hadn’t been this close without completely innocent intentions in. . .a long time, it seemed like.

Xander took a deep breath and it tickled the fine hairs at the back of Spike’s neck. He felt his cock harden in his jeans. Spike froze and was about to shift so Xander wouldn’t feel it; he was pressed against the man’s thigh. But then he realized he didn’t care.

Actually, he wanted Xander to feel it.

Spike licked his lips, pressing a bit harder into Xander’s chest. He felt the thumping increase against his cheek. Then, slowly but deliberately, Spike moved upwards until his lips were flush with Xander’s neck, warm breath gently colliding with his skin.

The man’s mouth was open now, breathing faster. But his eyes were trained intently on the car insurance ad.

Waiting to see what I’ll do.

Spike didn’t blame him. He’d been very contradicting lately. Neither of them really knew where they stood.

Spike leaned forward and placed a soft kiss at the edge of Xander’s jaw.

The man’s eyes fluttered shut, but he still didn’t move.

Spike, emboldened, kissed the same spot again. Then, when Xander still didn’t move, he placed a line of kisses along the edge of his jaw, leading to his lips. He couldn’t believe now that he’d given up this for more than a day.

He was now rock hard in his pants, smaller body pressed against Xander’s big warm one. He finally reached the man’s lips, where he paused. There was still no sign that Xander could even feel him.

Do I want to risk it?

Their relationship had been gradually healing and if Spike did this he ran the risk of ruining it once and for all. Wes had taken a risk and look where it got him.

Then again, the only reason Spike had been with Xander at all was because of Spike taking a risk.

So there were those choices again. Follow his mind or his heart.

Silently and delicately, Spike made a decision.


Xander couldn’t hold back a moan at the kiss. It felt like forever since he’d shared one with Spike. He couldn’t help himself as his arms came up to circle the boy and bring him closer. There was a hard bulge digging into his thigh and a matching one pressed against Spike’s stomach.

Finally, when a bit of sense had returned to his brain, he pulled away from the deepening kiss. “Are you sure?” he asked, his voice full of warning but also a glimmer of hope. Spike nodded, mussed hair all springy and bobbing and shiny lips parted with a smile. He looked excited, like he’d at length come to conclusion and was happy with it.

Xander smiled back, unable to think of anything else than getting those lips back on him. “Well then I am, too.” He leaned forward and captured the boy’s lips with a passionate kiss. Spike moaned as Xander thrust his tongue into his mouth, clinging to the man’s shoulder and grasping the back of his head. He panted when they broke away for breath, and then eagerly licked around Xander’s lips before diving back into the heat and overwhelming taste of him. It was so comfortable and familiar. But also so hot. Definitely still hot.

Spike gasped when Xander squeezed his cock through the rough denim, back arching and leaving his long pale neck exposed. Xander took the opportunity to nibble along the boy’s Adam’s apple, eliciting loud moans and shivers.

Xander slid his big hands up Spike’s shirt to pinch erect nipples. The boy was writhing in Xander’s lap now, trying to rub his erection against Xander’s thigh.

“Xan, please,” Spike whispered, afraid that he’d stop if he spoke too loud.

“What do you want me to do, Will?” Xander asked, voice rough with lust. “Want me to touch you?”

Spike moaned, grip tightening on Xander’s hair. Actually I would like that very much, thank you.

“Or,” Xander licked a hot wet stripe up the side of Spike’s neck until his hot breath was in his ear. “Would you rather have me rim you until your crazy and begging to come?”

His only answer was a high-pitched squeak.

Xander chuckled. “Number two it is. Sir.” He snickered then quickly pushed the boy onto his back. Cordy, who had been lying beside them and sleepily ignoring their exchange of saliva, growled irritably but jumped out of the way. Hopefully to find a place not so voyeuristic.

Xander stripped Spike’s shirt off before working on his own. He slowly unzipped the boy’s pants, careful not to let anything catch in the metal teeth. To Xander’s surprise, Spike’s full cock bounced out without restraint. He raised an eyebrow at the boy who flushed. “Thought it might give me an edge while I played.”

“Yes, now you just need someone to take off the edge.” Xander grinned. Spike rolled his eyes but didn’t stop the moan that escaped his lips as Xander began to slowly jack his cock. Xander slid the rest of Spike’s jeans off, hand still busy stroking and teasing Spike’s hardness while his other began working on his own pants.

Suddenly Xander leaned down and took the tip of Spike’s cock into his mouth. His hands were now free to remove the rest of his clothing. Spike arched into the hot embrace, thrusting upwards and trying to get more of himself into Xander’s mouth.

But, true to his word, the man only spent a few more moments torturing and teasing Spike. He quickly flipped the boy over, running a hand down his smooth back. His pale skin reflected blue in the flicker of the television as Xander trailed fingertips down into the dip of his lower back, sliding between clenching cheeks, and over his puckered entrance. Spike drew in a quick breath as the man’s light touch tickled his heavy sac.

Xander leaned down, placing a kiss on each cheek before nipping one playfully. Spike’s fingers clenched the armrest in anticipation. Xander let his tongue slip between the boy’s cheeks, slowly twisting its way downward. Spike let out a strangled moan, hips rising as he drove Xander’s mouth toward his entrance.

Xander let his tongue brush lightly over the puckered skin. “Fuck,” Spike hissed. He was panting now and could feel beads of sweat forming on his back. Xander licked around his sensitive hole again, hot tongue sweeping over quivering skin and just barely entering the boy. Spike moaned brokenly, thrusting back harder and letting out a string of curses.

“Xander, please!” Spike pleaded as he continued to be tortured and teased. Xander grasped his hips and thrust his tongue into the boy’s hole, fucking him with it as deep as he could go, licking and sucking the sensitive flesh. He reached up and slid a finger up to his knuckle into the relaxed heat and wetness. Spike shoved back and begged for more. Xander entered him with two fingers, roughly thrusting in and out and scissoring them until the tight muscle squeezing them loosened.

Xander dug a condom out of his wallet and ripped it open. Then, without warning, he slid his cock all the way into the boy. His fingers dug into Spike’s hips as he resisted the urge to come at the feeling of his heavy balls resting against Spike’s.

The boy panted loudly as Xander began to move, gaining speed and thrusting hard into his tight ass. He shouted and nearly came when Xander brushed his prostate, sending jolts of pleasure to his own leaking cock. He wanted to touch himself but was afraid if he let go of the armrest the force of Xander’s thrusts would push him over the edge of the couch. So he moaned something that vaguely resembled speech, and Xander seemed to understand. There was suddenly a hand tightly jerking his cock in time with Xander’s rhythm.

The rhythm which soon became erratic as Xander’s moans escalated. He began to pound into Spike, the hand on the boy’s cock squeezing relentlessly. Spike shouted, back arching and balls tightening as he came in thick ropes over Xander’s jerking hand.

Spike’s bucking and writhing beneath him caused Xander’s own orgasm to slam through him. He came with a loud groan, body jerking as he emptied himself inside Spike.

They both slumped onto the couch, harsh pants filling the air. Xander kissed the top of Spike’s tangled hair, pulling the boneless boy towards him. His limp cock slipped free and Xander slid the condom off. Spike rested his head contentedly against Xander’s chest.

“Mmm. Missed that.”

Xander smiled. “Me too.”

They shared a peaceful moment, still forms bathed in the passive glow of the television.

Amazing echoed around Spike's mind. He didn't need flashing lights and pretty dancers. He had something so much better.

“Well, we won’t need to wait long for another go.” Spike snorted. “We live two bloody feet from each other, after all.”

Xander suddenly stiffened.

“What?” Spike asked, eyebrows drawing together.

Xander didn’t reply.

Spike felt a bit of cold trickle into his stomach. “What is it?” He raised his head to look at Xander’s face.

The man’s eyes were wide and full of what Spike sincerely prayed wasn’t regret. “What?” he asked desperately.


And that really wasn’t something you wanted to hear after mind-blowing sex.

Spike pulled away, beginning to panic. Xander dropped his face into his hands, repeating the curse.

“Just tell me!” Spike was about to hit him or something.

Xander sighed. “I forgot. I completely forgot. I mean, I was just watching you then we hugged and you kissed me. I fucking forgot!” He seemed ready to punch something himself.

Spike waited silently, dread filling his body.

“My brother called today,” Xander sighed. “He said there was a construction site with a manager opening and he had room for me to stay.”

Spike heart dropped.

“Well you don’t need to–” Spike sputtered, wildly searching for an answer.

“I already accepted, Spike. My stuff’s packed and I’m interviewing tomorrow.”

And for perhaps the ninth, tenth, or twentieth time that summer, Spike completely broke apart.

Part Twenty-Six

Spike didn’t give up easily.

Every chance he got, he was on Xander’s back (both figuratively and literally). Once Spike made a decision, he stuck by it. And he had decided something very strongly.

Xander was not leaving.


He’s a very determined boy.

Xander had to give him that.

He’d been offered everything from sex to blackmail, from cuddles to black eyes. But Xander knew what he was doing. It’d be better this way. Really.

I’m the adult. Although it was getting harder and harder to convince himself of that when he kept having to stomp his feet and pull his hair to get his point across. Spike hassled him when he tried to work, harassed him when he tried to relax, and blathered on when he tried to bask in what used to be a peaceful afterglow, to the point where Xander was about to pack up and leave just to get away from the annoying brat.

It wasn’t quite that easy, though.

The interview with the guy at the construction site went great. Xander was obviously the perfect man for the job. Jesse was ecstatic to see him and it was nice to be back in his home town. The drive back to the Beck household was filled with ‘I can make this work’s and ‘better off’s. Mr. Beck was sad to see him go, but Xander’s new job wouldn’t begin until the beginning of the next month, so he still had a little over a week to work for the family. Truthfully, Xander suspected Liam was more than a little relieved that the man who had his son questioning his sexuality would soon be out of the picture.

Mrs. Beck was sad also, and made him promise to call once in a while so she could see how he was doing. Dru was very upset, but perked up slightly when he told her he would bring Cordy up for visits. Danny could have been torn apart or overjoyed for all Xander knew. He only had about two facial expressions. Andrew was sad but Xander suspected it was because there would be no more secret romance between him and Spike rather than actual concern about not seeing Xander anymore. The man sure loved his soaps.

But Xander was packed and his mind was made up and nothing would change it. He’d had enough drama for one summer and wasn’t going to stay around for Spike’s short attention span to waver to something brighter and shinier again. He had a life too. Really.

And he wasn’t going to give it up for some lovesick punk. Even if he could hold his breath for an amazingly long time.

Seriously, he should be a telemarketer or something.


“Wait, so he’s leaving? Just like that?”

“Yeah. Can you bloody believe it? After I finally figure out I need him, he up and leaves.” Spike chucked a stone into the water and the splash tickled his feet.

“Well have you tried to convince him to stay?” Buffy brushed a thin layer of sand off the hem of her shirt.

Spike glanced up at her wryly. “Why do you think my voice is so hoarse?”

Buffy tried to frown sympathetically but it somehow came out a grin. Spike rolled his eyes. “Well then he’s just an idiot, Spike. If he doesn’t think you’re a good enough reason to stay, then he’s not worthy of you.”

“That’s the thing.” Spike sighed, flinging another rock into the mellow waves. “It’s the other way around.”

“You know that’s not true. You’re such a great guy. Xander would have to be blind not to see that.”

“Well, he did mention he doesn’t see well out of his left eye. . .” Spike grinned at her.

“Boys,” she sighed. “Even when they’re torn apart they still have to be douche bags.”

There was a soft whine behind them and the two teenagers turned around to see Danny casually stroking Cordy’s back as he studied the ocean. Buffy sighed dreamily. Spike groaned. “Girls. . .”



His shoulder’s slumped. “I thought Buffy was here. Why aren’t you out bothering her?”

“She left.”


“So now there’s only you to bother. But you’ll be leaving soon too.”

Xander brushed off the mental cringe. “No, Buffy will still be here.”

“Great. More babysitting and butler-pining.”

He wasn’t going to ask

“I’m not that fun to have around. Really.” Xander turned to face him. “I mean, good for a few cheap laughs but if you’re looking for the quality entertainment, it ain’t here, buddy.”

Spike grinned a little. “You’re plenty entertaining enough.”

“Apparently not, if you can’t keep your dick to yourself for one week.” He didn’t mean to say it. Really, he didn’t. But out it came.

And wow, did Spike’s eyes just double in size?

And shit, are those tears in those things?


Xander should be locked up forever.

“I’m sorry–” he started.

“No,” Spike cut him off. He hastily swiped a sleeve over his eyes. “I deserve that. Really deserve that.” He took a breath and words begaan pouring out of his mouth. “I’m so sorry, Xander. I don’t know what I was thinking. Wes was just – it just all seemed so surreal. I’d never. . .” He shook his head, frustrated in his inability to communicate exactly what he wanted to say. “Fuck! I’d never tried anything like that before and no one had ever – looked at me like that before.” He looked down, cheeks burning. “I’d barely even kissed a boy before, except for you. I figured if they could like me and want me, all those pretty strangers, then. . .I don’t know. Maybe you weren’t just a fluke. Maybe I was, you know. . .” He shrugged, mouth screwed up into something between a scowl and a sour smirk. “Desirable.”

Despite himself, Xander let out a breathless snort. Spike looked up in wonder. “Well if you didn’t know before. . .you sure are a good actor.” He smiled and stepped towards the boy.

Spike returned the smile, cheeks red and wet. “Not actor,” he corrected. “Liar.”

Xander engulfed him in a tight embrace. Spike clung to his shoulders, struggling to keep the tight feeling in his throat from becoming the embarrassing noises it surely would. Xander ran a soothing hand down his back and pulled him even closer.

“It’s okay,” he murmured into a loose curl.

“No, it’s not!” Spike hissed, pulling away. “You’re leaving! It'll never be okay!”

“Spike, you’re sixteen. There will be plenty more– ” Xander could feel his throat closing before he could finish.

“Not like you.” Spike shook his head, arms dangling at his sides. “I don’t want ‘plenty more.’ I just want you.”

Xander turned back to face his bed. A packed suitcase sat against the wall, sagging and tired. I can’t be having second thoughts like this. I’m leaving tomorrow.

“Xander?” Spike’s tentative voice crept up his shoulder.

Xander swallowed. “Goodnight Spike.”

There was a choked noise behind him, then footsteps toward the door. He felt Spike pause. “I love you.”

Xander turned, grasping the doorknob. “I love you too.” He shut the door.


Spike’s mind was reeling. Xander was leaving, tomorrow. It was really happening. Yet he’d said he loved Spike.

How fucked up is this?

Spike was out of ideas for getting Xander to stay. He was out of ideas for trying to understand what Xander was thinking. Maybe he was simply just out of luck.

He didn’t sleep, instead tossed and turned fitfully over the sheets, trying to rest his mind. He must have fallen asleep eventually, though, because he awoke to a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Immediately he rushed out the door and down the stairs.

Xander was sitting at the table, eating breakfast next to Andrew, Danny and Dru. Spike felt a rush of relief.

Still here. For now.

When Xander spotted him, he became very engrossed in his waffles. Andrew gave him a shy smile. Danny nodded a greeting. Dru gave him a disdainful eye-roll.

Spike sat down. He was oblivious to the little conversation that bounced around the table. He was completely concentrated on getting Xander to look his way. He wasn’t ready to give up yet. He’d never be ready to.

They finished breakfast and Spike’s mom walked in. She immediately wrapped her arms around Xander in a firm hug. He tentatively returned it, surprise written all over his face. “Now you promised you’d visit,” she said once pulling way.

He nodded. “Of course.”

“Well then, I hope you have luck with your new job and thank you so much for coming to stay with us.” She smiled at him and suddenly Spike was a little jealous. Not of Xander, but because that smile didn’t exactly look 100% motherly-love-like. Xander nodded uncomfortably and smiled weakly in return. “Oh, and Mr. Beck says goodbye and wishes you luck.”

Yeah right.

She turned and kissed the top of Dru’s head and sent a smile in Spike’s direction. “Be good. I’ll see you two later.” And she walked out the door.

She shops way too much.

“Well,” Xander said awkwardly after a moment. “I’d better get going. It’s a good drive to Sunnydale.”

“Wait!” Dru hopped up. She ran up to Xander and hugged his stomach. Xander laughed and crouched down so they were at the same level. “Now, there is something I’ve got to give you.”

Dru’s eager eyes widened.

Xander whistled and clapped his hands. A burst of fluffy white fur and scrabbling toenails whisked around the corner and into his arms. “She definitely needs a bigger house than the one I’m moving into.” Cordy’s pink tongue lapped at his cheek.

Dru squealed, hands clapping together. Xander kissed the top of Cordy’s head once more and handed her to the grinning girl. “Now, be good.” Xander said. “And watch out for your brother.” Out of the corner of his eye he could see Spike roll his eyes and grinned. Dru suddenly leaned forward, holding the squirming puppy between them.

“It’ll all work out,” she whispered into his ear. Xander was once again weirded out by her strange insightfulness. But maybe she was right. He grinned and pulled her close. “Thanks,” he whispered.

Then he stood up, turning to Danny. The butler held out his hand without standing up. Xander shook it. “You take good care of my girl, too.”

Danny grinned at Cordy. “You know it.”

He looked at Andrew across the table, who immediately busied himself with picking up everyone’s plates. When he faced the counter and his back was turned, Xander came up behind him and wrapped his arms around him, giving him a playful kiss on the cheek. As expected, Andrew became very flustered and red-faced and stomped to the other end of the kitchen. Xander snickered.

Then the atmosphere of the room changed abruptly. Spike sat at the table, staring at Xander and daring him to say goodbye to him as easily as the others. The other people in the room, who were all aware of the relationship between the two, became very anxious. Danny simply got up quietly and left. Andrew coughed something about going to the bathroom, and even Dru announced that her favorite cartoon was on.

Spike’s expression remained the same as they left him and Xander alone. Xander leaned against the counter.

“So?” Spike finally broke the silence. “What’ve you got?”

Xander looked at him. Then Spike found himself being kissed within an inch of his life. Spike kissed back, just enjoying the feel of the larger man against him for what might be the last time. When Xander pulled away he slipped a folded envelope into Spike’s hands. The boy looked down at it but Xander pulled his chin back up to face him directly.

“I love you.”

Spike’s heart melted.

“And I don’t want to give this up, Will. But I can’t stay a gardener forever.” He took a deep breath. “You’re seventeen right now. Next year you’ll be legal. You can move out of your parents house.” Spike’s eyes widened. “My address and new phone number are in the envelope. Call me. Anytime.” Xander grinned. “I told my brother about us and he says it’s okay if you come to stay at our house. Permanently. If after a year we still feel this way about each other. . .Then you can come live with us.”

Spike gaped at him.

This was. . .huge.

This was. . .perfect.

“Okay.” He nodded, breathless. Xander pulled him close for another lingering kiss, sweeter than any they’d shared before. “You’ve still got to visit!” Spike blurted as soon as he could speak again. Xander laughed. “Of course.”

Spike glanced down at the envelope, smile stretching across his face. He still didn’t want Xander to go. He’d still miss him every day. But now. . .the future seemed a lot brighter than it ever had.

Xander glanced at the clock. “Damn. I really need to get going.” He looked at Spike again before kissing him and stepping away. “Call me tonight.”

Spike nodded.

Xander picked up his suitcase in the doorway and, after giving Spike a wink and a wave, stepped outside. Spike rushed to the window, watching as the car pulled away. He sat by the window even after the car was well out of sight.

Xander was gone, he realized. But his hand slipped into his pocket and found the envelope. He smiled.

He’ll be back.

The End

Feed the Author

The Author's Livejournal

The Spander Files