Laura

I never talk to you anymore
I guess I left the ball
in your court too long

I never liked playng ball anyway
I still think about you

I’m sorry for my faults
I’m sorry for the mistakes of the past
I’ve been trying to make up for them

You are gone now
I don’t want to let it go
If I did it would mean that I truly am alone

My first love
Was it true
Or just a farce

Is that even logical 
Do I truely morn
Or is it just an excuse
To hate

Anger
Rage
Rebellion

When I lost you I lost more than a friend
Did I lose you
Or did I throw you aside
Because you wouldn’t call me

Too imature to have empathy
I made my mistakes
Now I live with the blood on my hands

Maybe wasn’t the killer
But the assitant
No where near there
Yet why would I feel guilty
Must have done something to deserve

The death penalty
You got instead of me
You got death
I got life
But not a life of freedom

The memory still taints
The wounds pulled apart

Eyes glaze over
The tears don’t come
Why don’t they come
Healing is merely a wish

Responsibility hangs over my head
It can never happen again
Not on my watch
But I am not better than anyone else
I can’t help those around me
Any more than I can help myself

Can’t change the past
...
...
...
But can you change the future?


5-24-02

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