As I ponder weak and weary 
sitting listening yet not hearing 
to what this teahcer has to say.
And as I sit the thoughts begin
Of you and them and all therein
I see so clearly 
and yet I don’t
I open the window to my soul
Ashamed to see it’s nothing but a black hole
The darkness comes
spews forth from the recesses of my own mind
It burns in my heart and a tremor moves deeply
I hate
I am sick
Sick of myself
sick of the hate
sick of the endlessness
life is like a candle
I have the power to extinguish it
what is the woth of life?
to play with the means of your own destruction

5-22-02

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