Burden of Guilt
By Michele
Chapter OneWillow glanced up from the book she was reading and frowned at the blonde vampire sitting on the couch. When he didn't look up from the motorcycle magazine he was reading she sighed… loudly.
Still nothing, just the flip, flip, flip, as he turned the pages, no doubt looking for ads with scantily clad women.
"Spike?"
"Hmmm?" He still didn't look at her.
Having been ignored by the best of them, Willow knew the signs. "SPIKE!"
Willow's raised voice finally got his attention and he jerked his head up to look at her in irritation. "What, Red? And it better be good, I was busy."
"Yeah, you looked real busy." She motioned to the book she was reading. "I keep reading this over and over and something seems to be missing."
"What're you reading and why should I care?" Spike threw the magazine down on Giles' coffee table and went into the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator, got out his 'special' mug, popped it in to the microwave and entered thirty seconds on the timer.
Willow picked up the leather-bound book that was her current interest and walked over to the bar. Setting the book down on the counter, she watched Spike rummage in the cupboards and grumble about Giles' shopping habits. "It's one of Giles' Watcher diaries.. well, not *his*…. I mean, it belongs to him… I suppose.. but he didn't write it. It's old. I wonder if they have to check them out or if…"
"Red! Stop! I get it. It's an old Watcher's Diary. What about it?" The timer on the microwave went off and he popped open the door and took out his warmed blood. He cradled the cup in his hands for a moment, enjoying the warmth before bringing to his lips and taking a sip.
"It's about you… kinda. I mean it was written by the Watcher of one of the Slayer's you killed."
"Hmmm. Really? Which one?" He leaned across the pass through bar and craned his neck, trying to get a look at the writing.
"Miranda… in.. let's see…" Willow flipped a few pages looking for a date but Spike answered before she could find it.
"1898" Spike's voice was flat and totally devoid of any emotion.
"Um.. yeah.. that's right. You all right Spike? You look… a little… weird." He'd gone even paler, if that was possible, and he seemed frozen to the spot, eyes focused somewhere past her shoulder. Almost like a marble statue. "Spike?"
"Yeah, pet?" Spike blinked and the stillness was broken. He took another sip from his mug and headed back into the living room.
"What was that about? You just totally went away for a minute. It was really creepy."
"Just thinkin'. So you think something's missing from the journal? Like how I killed her, maybe?" He grinned naughtily at Willow and seated himself on the couch.
Willow blanched and shook her head. She picked up the book and joined him on the couch, tucking her feet under her as she sat. "No, that's in here in full and much unneeded detail. Don't you think the entrails were a little.. excessive? I mean, really Spike, I know you're a vampire and you think it's fun… but dead is dead, you didn't have to.. to… do all of that to her, did you? And to make her Watcher… well, watch… I guess that's how he knew everything you did, but…. I mean, I can't imagine what it would do to Giles if he had to…"
"I killed her Watcher a few weeks later." Spike smirked at the flash of disgust that crossed Willow's face. But when she moved as if to get up he almost regretted goading her. "Sorry, pet, I forget that you can't appreciate things like that. I had to kill him. It was either him or me."
"Like that makes a difference! Miranda was bad enough.. I mean she was a Slayer and if you hadn't killed her, something else probably would have. But her Watcher…"
"I'm a vampire, remember? I *like* killing people. But, he was out to get me for what I'd done to Miranda, so…"
"Could we just skip this entire subject? I really don't want to know."
"You brought it up!"
"Let's just start over, okay? I brought it up because there's something I don't understand. Something missing, well actually a couple of something's."
"All right… what?" Spike sat back on the cushions and continued taking small sips of the rapidly cooling blood.
"It tells how Miranda and her Watcher went to Romania. It says that you, Angelus and Drusilla went to Romania right before that. It's obvious to me that they were following you three but it doesn't really say that specifically. But, if you left her territory, why would she follow you? It doesn't make sense."
"Oh, that one's easy….. but Miranda's Watcher probably didn't even know why she was so insistent that they go." Spike smirked and gave a little chuckle when Willow unconsciously leaned forward in anticipation of his answer. "Buffy wasn't Angelus' first Slayer ya know."
"WHAT! You mean to tell me Miranda was… was…" Willow sputtered to a stop and let her mouth hang open.
"That's right, Angelus was shagging Miranda. What better way to keep her out of his way? He let me have a few pokes at her, too. Tasty piece she was. Quite the rebel for her time, refused to wear a corset, *and* fucking a Master Vampire."
"But.. but… her Watcher! He didn't…."
"No. She led that Watcher around by his dick. He did anything she wanted, the fool. And remember, this was during Queen Victoria's time when all the women were 'pure' and all the men were 'gentlemen'. Everyone pretended that they didn't know anything about the Hellfire Club and hid their copies of 'My Secret Life' and 'Fanny Hill' in cubby holes usually reserved for the family jewels. " Spike snorted in derision and continued. "Miranda's Watcher didn't know about her little outside obsession and worshipped at her petite little 'virgin' feet. Which is a bit hypocritical since he's the one who took her virginity in the first place."
"Buffy really doesn't know how lucky she is I guess….. Hmmm, I can see how Buffy could fall for *Angel* but why would Miranda fall for Angelus? He was… bad."
"Oh, that he was, pet. Very bad." Spike smiled wistfully. "But in case you hadn't noticed, Angelus is a…. what's the word? Uh.. Beefcake?"
"Oh," Willow giggled at Spike's description, "I get what you mean. I know he's handsome and all, but… he killed people all the time! She was the Slayer…why would Miranda…. what?" Willow stopped talking when Spike nearly doubled over with laughter.
"Oh, Red! You really are young." Spike got himself under control a bit and tried again. "Angelus could charm a nun - or a monk, for that matter - out of their knickers in minutes. Think about the fact that Miranda was a young woman who'd been seduced by her rather fumbling thirty-something Watcher when she was fifteen, then she meets Angelus in all his glory. Angelus who'd been screwing anything that moves for a hundred and forty something years. Now, tell me, which do you think she found more enjoyable?"
Willow thought about what Spike said for a minute and felt a blush creeping up her chest. "*So* not going there." She waived her hand in the air as if that would banish her less than pure thoughts. "Okay, I can see your point. Miranda's Watcher - I wonder why he never writes his own name- anyway, he wrote in here that they were going to Romania to follow up a lead about a prophecy, but that's all. Not what the prophecy was or anything. That seems pretty vague."
"He couldn't very well write 'Dear Diary, my Slayer just gave me the most wonderful blowjob and suggested that we should travel to Romania'. He wrote about the 'prophecy' to cover up the fact that his little Slayer had him by the knackers. They'd have both lived a lot longer if they hadn't followed us, but she was furious when Angelus told her was taking a little trip and that he'd *probably* be back."
"But why did you kill her then? She was Angelus'… um… property, right? Wasn't he mad?"
Spike dropped his gaze and did the statue thing again. Just when Willow decided it was creeping her out too much and was ready to poke him, he abruptly raised the mug to his lips and drained it. "He didn't know, he was already gone by then."
"Gone? Gone where? What are you…"
"It's dark, I'm going out." Spike interrupted. He set his mug on the table and strode across the room. Snagging his duster from the hook by the front door, he was gone in a flash.
"Okaaaay…. strange, even for Spike." Willow shook her head and leaned back on the couch, propped the journal against her knees and continued reading about the life and times - and death - of a girl named Miranda, with a new perspective.
---
Spike slowed from his fast paced walk and looked around at his surroundings. "Bloody idiot." He'd been so lost in his thoughts that he'd walked all the way to Main Street without realizing it. Only luck had kept him from running into any of farm boy's men.
But luck had also stationed him directly in front of a liquor store. "This definitely calls for a visit with Jose, Jack and maybe Johnny. He pushed open the door and strolled inside. Not bothering to try to intimidate the human working there, he made his selection quickly and actually paid for it. Supplies in hand, he headed for the nearest cemetery to drink the memories away.
---
"Where's Riley tonight, Buff?" Willow trailed along behind her friend on the lookout for any creepy crawlies.
"He had something TA related he had to do-- what with the new Professor and all-- sans me, so…."
"Oh. Just wondering, ya know, 'cause you're usually attached at the hip."
"We're not *that* bad!" Buffy stopped scanning the cemetery and looked over at her friend in surprise. "Are we?"
"Well, yeah, actually you are. This is the first time I've seen you without him in weeks."
Willow continued walking deeper into the cemetery, trying not to let her hurt show. Buffy thought for a minute and realized that what Willow said was true. She hadn't been in their room much except to change clothes and pick up weapons. She hadn't been to Giles' except to check in and then Riley was usually with her or waiting just outside. Coming out of her musings, Buffy noticed that Willow had gotten way ahead of her.
"Hey Wills! Wait up!" She jogged to catch up with the redhead and grabbed her arm to stop her. As they came to a halt, she heard singing. Drunken singing…. that sounded very familiar… coming from a crypt.
"Is that…. doesn't that sound like Spike?" Willow didn't have super-slayer hearing but she could still hear the bellowing across the quiet cemetery. "This isn't where he usually stays. I wonder what he's doing here?"
Buffy made a face and headed in the direction of the obnoxious noise. "Probably trying to avoid me and guys in uniform."
The two women reached the crypt where the singing was coming from and Buffy pulled open the door.
"Friggin' in the riggin', friggin' in the riggin', friggin' in the riggin', 'cause there's fuck all else to do… Schlayer! Red! Come join the party!" Spike stopped singing and held out a half empty bottle of Tequila.
"Uh.. Spike… what are you doing?" Buffy curled up her nose at the musty surroundings and took note of the half-dozen empty bottles sitting next to the obviously plastered vampire. He was sprawled on the ground, leaning against the wall in the corner. His hair was mussed, his duster thrown over one of the railings and he even had one boot off. She'd never seen him quite so…so… dishevelled.
"Havin' a wittle party, Schlayer. You and the witch come to help me forget?" He tried to wiggle his eyebrows in a lewd manner but it ended up looking rather comical.
"Okaaay. I don't think I even want to know." Buffy turned to Willow and motioned for them to leave.
"No, you go on, Buffy. It's not safe for Spike to be alone when he's this drunk."
"I'm sure he's been drunk before and he's still alive.. well, undead, he'll be fine." Buffy started towards the door.
"He was acting kind of freaky earlier. I think I'll stay awhile and see if I can get him to go back to Giles'. You finish patrolling. I'm sure Riley will be done with his… um.. stuff soon anyway." Willow hadn't moved from the spot she'd stopped at upon first entering and she hadn't taken her eyes off Spike, either.
"Okay, Wills, just be careful, okay? I don't think he's feeling *any* pain right now, ya know what I mean?" Buffy glanced at Spike and then left the crypt.
"Yeah, witch. I'm not feelin' any pains. Noffing at all. Want some?" Spike again extended the bottle to Willow. When she shook her head, he shrugged and took another drink.
Willow moved closer to the drunken vampire and squatted down in front of him. "Why are you doing this, Spike? Did something happen?"
"Juss havin' a drink. Can't a guy haf a drink?"
"You said something a minute ago about forgetting. What are you trying to forget, Spike?" Willow made a grab for the bottle in Spike's hand, but even drunk, he was too fast for her.
"Mine! Get your own." He tried to growl at Willow but gave up when it just sounded like he had phlegm in his throat.
"You said I could have some." Willow held out her hand patiently.
"Oh, right… forgot." Spike handed the bottle over to her and fumbled beside him for another. "Bollocks! I'm out. Give it back!"
Willow shook her head and dashed to the door throwing the bottle out and slamming the door shut again. "I think you've had enough, Spike. Come back to Giles' with me so you can sleep it off, okay?" She started back across the crypt and let out a little yelp of surprise when Spike was suddenly in front of her and gripping her arms rather tightly. He sure could move quick for a drunk.
"That was my lass bottle, Red. Why'd you throw it out?"
"Because you.. you.. don't need any m..m.. more."
"You're not my bloody mother!" He released her and went back to sit against the wall. "I'll juss go get s'more in a few minutes."
Willow took a few deep breaths to slow her pounding heart. "Why don't you just tell me what's wrong? At least that doesn't cause a hang over." She slowly made her way back towards Spike, watching him carefully. When she reached the wall, she sat down next to him. "What are you trying to forget?"
Spike leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. "It's all your fault. You and that bloody journal."
Willow's brow creased in confusion. "You feel bad about killing Miranda?" That didn't seem right to her, but it was the only thing she could think of that would cause him to react this way.
"No! I enjoyed every minute of that… never even took credit for her…. You made me remember why it's all my fault."
Spike still wasn't making any sense, but he was started to sound a little more sober. "I'm not following here, Spike. What's all your fault?"
"The curse… Angelus.. Angel. It's all my fault." Spike opened his eyes and looked over at Willow, almost in tears. "I made my Sire go away and leave me… us. It's all my fault…"
"But… but I thought he killed a gypsy and then her clan did the curse. What did you have to do with that? Did you tell them to…"
Spike dropped his head back against the wall and silently cursed himself for this show of weakness. "Doesn't matter now, does it? What's done is done and look at what happened when it was undone. Not Angelus, not Angel…. just some insane wanker usin' his body."
Willow opened her mouth, then closed it again. Was he saying that the Angelus that terrorized them a few years ago was not the same as the one…. No, Angelus was Angelus, Scourge of Europe and more recently, Sunnydale. They were the same… weren't they? "Does this all have something to do with why you killed Miranda so cruelly?"
Still not opening his eyes, Spike nodded. "No matter what her Watcher wrote, I didn't have time to torture her proper-like. I did kill her, though, and it was messy. But I thought she'd staked Angelus. Found out different later."
"Oh." Willow tried to put it all together in her head but there were still too many blanks. "One of the other things that seems to be missing from the journal I was reading - and what I was going to ask you about to start with- is where you and Dru were during that time. There was no mention of either of you once Miranda got to Romania. Her Watcher wrote that Angelus was there and that he had brought you two with him, then nothing. Well, until you made the pages when you killed Miranda in front of her Watcher."
"We were there, pet, but we'd been shuffled aside in favour of Darla for the moment. Angelus told us to keep a low profile and…" Spike shook his head and stopped talking.
"And what, Spike?"
"I don't want to talk about it. Just go away now, Red."
"You can't tell me these little bits and pieces and then stop! Besides, it might make you feel better to talk about… whatever it is… with someone." Willow laid her hand on Spike's arm and gave a little squeeze.
Spike jerked his arm away and growled at her. "Go away, Willow! I really feel like hurting something right now and…"
"No, Spike, you know you do want to talk about it or you wouldn't have said as much as you have already and you wouldn't still be sitting here. So out with it!"
Spike glared at Willow but she didn't back down and he finally gave in. "Fine! But if you tell anyone- and I mean *anyone*, Slayer included- I will do worse to you than I did to Miranda, headache or no headache, you understand?"
"I understand and I promise, I won't tell anyone." Willow made a zipping motion across her lips and leaned back against the wall, eyes encouraging him to begin.
Sighing with the knowledge that he was probably about to do a very stupid thing, Spike got more comfortable and began to tell Willow what she wanted to know.
"I should start by saying that the Angelus you had the pleasure of meeting here was not exactly like the one I remember. The Angelus that turned me never would have tried to suck the world into Hell. *My* Angelus would have played you lot for awhile, fucked his way through the 'Scoobies', turned you against one another, killed a few of you and then gotten the fuck off the Hellmouth. *My* Angelus was a mean bastard but he wasn't insane."
"But… but… "
"I know, I know, you read all about the evil Angelus in those books, but the people writing them didn't know *him*, only his actions. Probably half the stuff they say he did wasn't even him. Some was me, some was Dru, some was even Darla….. Not that he wasn't devious and cruel or that he didn't kill a lot of people in very inventive ways, he did. But if he'd done all the things they attribute to him, he never would have had time to do anything else *but* that. You understand what I mean?"
"Yeah, I think so. You're saying that other vamps or even humans did something and they just blamed it on him because he was like the boogey-man for the area at the time."
"Yep, you got it. Anyway, Angelus, Dru and I all went to Romania so that Angelus could meet up with Darla. Why she chose Romania I'll never know, but she was strange that way, always showing up in the oddest places. Dru and I didn't always go with him on these little reunions, but this time we did……."
Chapter Two"William, you and Dru take the back bedroom." Angelus directed the porter carrying his luggage to the master bedroom of the house they were letting while in town. It smelled faintly of the previous occupants -- who apparently had a fondness for onions -- and dust, but otherwise was satisfactory to him. It was a small house, but it suited their needs perfectly.
Downstairs, there was small entryway, with a sitting room off to the left that led into a small library. To the right off the entryway was a small dining room which connected to the updated kitchen. Upstairs, there were three medium sized rooms, a Master bedroom, a separate bathing room with indoor plumbing --and a large bathing tub. The third floor housed the unused servants quarters. If there was one thing Angelus hated more than hauling his own water up and down the stairs it was having the servants required for such a task wandering freely around the house.
Stripping off his gloves, he went down the hall to make sure the Drusilla hadn't made a snack of any of the hired help. When he entered the room, Drusilla was chastising one of the porters for scratching her already scratched trunk and her finger was only an inch from poking the poor man's eye out. "Drusilla! Stop that right now! He doesn't understand a word you're saying."
Dru dropped her arm and smiled prettily. "Sorry, daddy, but I'm sooo hungry." She sashayed over to Angelus and wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning into him. "Can we go out for a bite now?"
"Iesi afara…. acum!" Angelus briskly instructed the servants to leave and wrapped his arms around his beautiful girl, shaking his head. "No, Dru. I told you that you and Will would have to keep out of sight. Darla doesn't know you're with me and I don't want her to know. Remember what happened last time."
Drusilla pouted and broke away from Angelus. "But I'm *hungry *."
Angelus sighed and met William's gaze across the room where he was unpacking his satchel. "Will can go and get you something, carefully and quietly, but you can *not* go out, Dru. Do you understand?"
"I understand." Drusilla opened one of her trunks and took out one of her dolls. "But for how long? Sara and I don't want to be stuck in here forever."
"Only for a few days… until I see what mood Darla is in." Angelus crossed the room and pulled Dru into his embrace. "I wouldn't want her to hurt my Princess, now would I? You know she gets very jealous and can be very mean."
"I don't like grandma. She *is * mean." Dru again pulled away from Angelus and went back to her trunks. This time she opened one containing clothes and started pulling them out and dumping them on the floor.
William grunted at Dru's words. Calling Darla 'mean' was an understatement. She was a vicious bitch that would turn on you in a second. He'd barely escaped with his hide intact the last time they'd done the family reunion thing because Darla decided she didn't like the way he looked at her. Since William barely looked at her all, it was a mystery to him just how she came to that conclusion. But Angelus was right, she was very jealous of any time her favourite Childe spent away from her, even if he did so at her insistence.
"Will, go out and bring something back for the both of you. I'll wait until you return to go see Darla. But hurry back, she probably already knows I'm in town and you know she doesn't like to be kept waiting."
"I know." William began to strip off his clothes to change into something more suitable for hunting than his current outfit with its bright white cravat and light catching silver buttons. "Should I be on the look-out for any of her minions?" He slipped on a dark brown fisherman's sweater, a worn pair of dark wool breeches and his boots.
"No, the local population is too superstitious to allow minions to roam around. All the more reason for you to be careful. They'll know what you are and what to do about it if they catch you hunting."
William waived away his Sire's concern. "They won't catch me doin' anything, I'm too bloody goo…" Whatever else he was going to say was cut off by Angelus' hand squeezing his throat.
"I'm serious, Will. I've been in this country before and I know what I'm talking about." He eased his grip and stepped closer to his most unruly Childe. "Despite all the modernization since the revolution, they're still mostly stupid peasants and they can still be dangerous."
"I said they won't catch me. You can let go now."
William's tone bordered on insolence, but Angelus let it go for now.
William had been getting very restless this last year but Angelus had hoped it would pass quickly and they could get back to the way things ought to be. But, apparently, that was not going to be the case… and he needed to do something about it before it got worse. Unfortunately, he didn't have the time to remind William to whom he owed his existence and obedience.
Angelus held William's icy gaze for a few more moments and then dropped his hand to the younger man's shoulder. Although he'd rather spend the evening reminding his Childe why he was the Master and the younger man was not, Angelus settled for kindness over violence….for now. "I know you'll be careful, Will, I just don't want you getting hurt." He kissed the smaller man quickly, before he could protest, and stepped back. "Now go get something for our Princess to eat and hurry back."
Slightly dazed by Angelus' uncharacteristic display of affection, William nodded and left the room.
---
"That's when everything started to go wrong…. really wrong." Spike leaned forward and snagged the bottom of his duster, pulling it off the railing. He searched the pockets until he found his smokes. "I should've just snatched the first person I came across and gone back. Instead, I…"
"He kissed you? On the mouth?" Willow didn't know whether to be icked out or turned on by that bit of information. In *theory* she knew vampires would have sex with anything that moved - witness Drusilla and the Chaos Demon- but to think of *Angel * doing that…..
Spike paused in lighting his cigarette to look at Willow in exasperation. "Is that the *only* part of what I said that you heard?"
"No, of course not, but…. he really kissed you?"
"Hell, pet, if he hadn't been so pressed for time he would have thrown me down on the bed and shagged me till I couldn't walk. *Then* he would have had a go at Dru. He always did get a bit ….tense when we travelled."
Willow blushed and waived her hands at him in a dismissive gesture. "Never mind! Forget I asked. Just go on with your story. You'd gone out for some…. dinner and something happened?"
Spike snapped his Zippo closed and took a drag off his cigarette. "Yeah, something happened. I completely ignored Angelus' warning and went hunting."
"Oh, no! You didn't?"
Spike nodded his head and closed his eyes. "When I left my room, I intended to do just what Angelus had told me to do. Go snatch someone off the street, keep them quiet but alive and hightail it back. Then I got out to the street and started doing something very stupid."
"What…thinking?" The redhead smiled to show him she was only joking but her smile withered when he opened his eyes and just nodded.
"Yep, thinking. About how Angelus treated me and how I *thought* I should be treated. By that time I'd been a vampire for almost 35 years and I thought it was about time I went off on my own. Angelus didn't agree with me. He even refused to call me Spike like I wanted. Said it was a ridiculous name -- something you'd name your dog-- regardless of why I wanted to be called that. I started to get angry and decided to show him that I could take care of myself and deserved to be on my own, like he was."
"Thirty five years is a long time to stay with someone… I guess…."
"That's nothing in vampire years, I know that now - Angelus had only been on his own about forty years by then- but I was angry and maybe a little jealous, so I went hunting. I'd convinced myself that I had to bring back a real prize for our Princess, not just some easy pickins' dirty peasant. Who I finally chose is not important, but I had gotten pretty far away from the place we were staying and I'd been gone much longer than I'd intended."
"I'll bet Angelus was pretty mad at you." Willow shifted on the cold stone and pulled her light jacket closer around her torso.
"You have no idea." Spike frowned for a moment and then shook it off. "But the point I'm trying to get to - if you'd stop interrupting me- is that while I was out hunting, I came across a certain gypsy camp."
Willow gasped. "You didn't take one of them back to…"
"No, I didn't, but it wasn't from lack of trying. I was sneaking up on the camp when a couple of them saw me all yellow-eyed and fangy. They scurried away to warn everybody else before I could snatch anyone. Normally I would have gone ahead and killed anyone that stood in the way of my meal, but I knew I wouldn't live through the next night if I did that. If Angelus didn't stake me, Darla would. I went back to the house and picked up someone less desirable on the way."
Spike ground out his cigarette and shrugged. "Angelus was waiting for me when I got back. I could tell he was angry, --*very* angry-- but he didn't say anything then, just put on his gloves and hat and left to see Darla. I took our dinner upstairs to Dru and tried to convince myself that I was strong enough and smart enough to stand up to Angelus when he came back."
A humourless chuckle broke from between Spike's lips. "My belief that I could defy him lasted about two hours. I knew I was in big trouble once he got back, but I tried not to think about it and spent the rest of the night entertaining Dru."
"Angelus still wasn't back by the time we woke up the next night, so I went and grabbed another meal - *very * quickly this time- and continued to try and keep Dru entertained enough to stop asking me when her 'daddy' was going to be back."
"Did you really want away from him that badly? I mean, was it horrible?"
"No. That's the thing. It wasn't horrible." Spike sighed and shook another cigarette out of the pack. "I guess I was like a kid, anxious to get away from my parents and show them what I could do on my own. Ya know?… I couldn't see how much better off I was with him… I mean, with both of them." Spike paused, pressing his lips together as if he wasn't going to say anything else.
"Spike?" Willow barely breathed his name but it had the desired effect.
"He came back just before dawn…."
---
William was slumped on the settee watching Drusilla dance around the room to music only she could hear. He was bored out of his skull and even tired of shagging for the moment. But at least Dru had stopped complaining about not being able to go out and had stopped asking when Angelus would be back. "Pet, don't you think it's time to go upstairs now?"
"No, Angelus will be home soon and then we can all go to bed together. We must wait for daddy." Drusilla continued to spin around the room and smile dreamily.
"Dru, it's only minutes until sunrise, he won't be here until tonight."
"Oh, really?"
William lunged to his feet and spun to face the sitting room door. "Angelus… I didn't hear you come in."
"Obviously." Angelus' brown eyes burned into William's wary blue ones. Drusilla bounced happily over to her Sire and threw her arms around him. He smiled at her without breaking eye contact with the younger man. "Dru, go to bed. I'll be up in a little while. There's something I need to talk to William about."
"Are you going to punish him for being a bad boy? I want to watch that. Can I? Please?"
"Maybe later. Now go to bed, honey. *My* bed." If Dru thought she'd have him all to herself for the evening, she'd leave without an argument.
As predicted, Drusilla clapped happily and glided out the room.
Angelus remained where he was and began to slowly remove his gloves, pulling on the material of each finger to loosen them before slowly peeling them off and placing them in the pocket of his coat. He shrugged off his overcoat next, smoothing it before placing it in the chair next to the door.
William was still standing next to the settee, trying very hard to become invisible. He relaxed his posture only find that moments later he was tensed up again. Angelus being this meticulous was more terrifying to him than if his Sire had come in raging. The younger vampire knew how to handle Angelus when he was in a temper, but this…. calm… this was new.
Clasping his arms behind his back, Angelus strolled further into the room and took a seat in one of the slightly worn chairs next to the settee. He steepled his fingers in front of his mouth to hide his slight smile at William's obvious discomfort. When the silence had stretched to what he deemed an acceptably uncomfortable length -- and William was about ready to explode with the tension-- he spoke.
"Now…. do you want to tell me what took you so long the other night?"
"Nothing." The response was automatic but quickly amended. "I was being careful, so it took longer."
"All right."
"What?"
"You were just following my instructions and it took longer than you thought it would. That's perfectly understandable, Will."
"It is? Uhh… yeah… it is." William studied his Sire quizzically, wondering what this new game was about and why it was being played. He seated himself carefully on the edge of the settee. "So, …. how's Darla?"
"The same." Again he had to suppress a smile. Poor Will was poised on the edge of his seat, ready to jump up again for the slightest reason. This was almost as fun as stringing the boy up and giving him a good whipping…almost. "How are you and Dru getting on here? Any trouble keeping her inside?"
William relaxed a little more at the reasonableness of the others tone. "She's bored, I'm bored, but we've been all right so far. I don't know how much longer I can keep her here, though. She really wants to go take a few of those gypsies that are camped outside of town. I shouldn't have told her about…."
"Gypsies?"
"Yeah. I came across a pretty large camp right outside of town." Angelus had an odd look on his face. "Why?"
"Oh, nothing." Angelus waived away the question and stood. "It's late, I'm going to take a bath and go to bed. Get Dru out of my bed while I'm doing that."
"But…"
"But what, Will?" Angelus snapped. He knew that William had lied to him. That was the final straw. "Put her in her room and be waiting for me when I'm done. Even you should be able to manage that without too much trouble, don't you think ?"
The tone and the sneer on Angelus' face told William that all was not forgiven or forgotten. William lowered his eyes and played his part. "Yes, Sire."
Angelus nodded once and went to gather up his coat by the door. He paused without turning around. "Do I need to tell you that I will be very upset if Dru wakes up or if you're not ready for me in any way?"
William clenched his jaw, grinding his teeth together in an effort to stop himself from making things worse. He took a breath and made the expected reply. "No, Sire. I understand."
Angelus tsked. "The words were right, Will, but the tone needs improvement." Without further delay, Angelus left the room and started up the stairs.
"Bloody aristocratic prick! Thinks he's better than me 'cause he owned a patch of bog." William muttered insults as he went around the room turning down the wicks on all the lamps. They could all go out and turn to sludge for all he cared but Angelus would have a fit, so…. "Stupid ponce…."
"WILL! Get your ass up here, NOW!"
William jumped and turned around. He was close enough to the door to be able to see Angelus standing at the top of the stairs, glaring towards the sitting room. Hesitating only moment longer to admire the near perfect symmetry of his Sire's naked form, William strode into the hall and climbed the first few stairs.
"I was turning down the lamps and…" He stopped when he reached the stair below Angelus, who hadn't moved.
"I didn't tell you to turn down the lamps, I told you to move Dru and get in my bed!"
Angelus' arm shot out with lightning speed, grabbing hold of William's long brown hair and twisting it around his hand. He jerked once and then forced the younger vampires' face close to his. "I. want. Dru. out. of. my. bed. and. you. in. it! Now do it before I get *really* angry!"
Angelus shoved William away from him, causing the smaller man to stumble down a few steps before catching his balance. Angry blue eyes glared up into brown tinged with gold.
"I don't see you moving, boy."
William lowered his eyes after another long moment and started up the stairs. When he was even with his Sire, he paused, expecting further comment or violence. When neither was forthcoming, he continued on his way towards Angelus' bedroom.
He entered his Sire's room and crossed to the bed where Drusilla lay, amazingly already deeply asleep. There would be true hell to pay if Dru woke up and wanted to join in whatever plans Angelus had for the evening. And William had a pretty good idea what those plans were, too. How they were going to keep from waking Dru once Angelus got started was beyond him, but that was his Sire's problem.
Bending over, he carefully lifted the sleeping woman into his arms and straightened, pausing to make sure he didn't jar her into wakefulness. When it appeared that she was still deeply asleep, he re-crossed the room and turned down the hall towards the room they shared. Hurrying past the bathing room, he could hear Angelus moving about and cursing the unpredictable water temperature.
After depositing Drusilla in her bed without incident, William hurried back to his Sire's room and closed the door behind him. He quickly stripped off his clothes and climbed into the bed. No use pushing his luck with Angelus' temper any further.
He could hear the pipes shaking as Angelus finished filling the bathing tub and then there was silence. William shifted onto his stomach and punched a pillow into shape. Angelus' baths could take forever and he decided he might as well rest up a bit. Just as he was drifting off to sleep, someone started pounding on the door. Mindful of Angelus' wish that Drusilla not be disturbed, William scrambled off the bed and hastily donned his trousers.
He was still buttoning them when he reached the door and unlatched it, careful of the early morning sun where it peeked through the clouds. "Do you know what…. Miranda? What the bleedin' hell are you doin' here?"
The petite Slayer pushed her way past him and stomped over to the sitting room. "Where is he? I know he's here somewhere."
William shut the door and followed the dark-haired girl into the other room. "He's having a bath and he doesn't want to see you. You should have stayed in England, Slayer."
"Nobody treats me like that… do you hear me? NOBODY!"
He was on her in an instant, hand across her mouth. "Shut your gob! If you wake Dru…"
Miranda bit into his hand and he released her out of surprise. "That loony bitch is here, too? I can't believe it! I'll stake him to the wall!" She literally stomped towards the stairs with the obvious intention of running her prey to the ground.
William caught her up and once again applied his hand to her mouth. "If you don't keep quiet, I'll snap your neck!" When she bit him again, he just tightened his grip. He felt her stiffen and, after a few moments, start to struggle against him half-heartedly. She thought it was all part of the game they sometimes played. "Not this time, Miranda."
Releasing her mouth slowly, William allowed her to slip from his grasp. "Now, be a good girl and go away unless you really do want to get him killed."
"What are you on about now?" Miranda dismissed William from her mind and again moved towards the stairs. If he didn't want to play, she'd find someone who did. She tried to shake off the hand that once again prevented her from reaching her goal. "Cease this at once, William! I'm going to see Angelus and I'm going to see him now!"
"He came here to meet Darla."
That stopped the Slayer in her tracks. She whirled around and pressed a stake lightly into the skin over the vampires heart. "You're lying…. he would have told me."
"He's not lying and get that away from him… NOW!" Angelus came down the stairs wearing only his robe and a scowl. "William, I thought I told you to wait in bed for me?"
"I *was* in bed and then this silly bint came knocking…" He was silenced by a backhand from his Sire that knocked him to the floor.
"Excuses!" Angelus stared at his Childe until the younger vampire dropped his eyes before turning his attention to the little Slayer.
"So, what brings you to Romania, Miranda?"
His casual tone of voice didn't fool her for an instant. She could tell he was seething with anger and she was really hoping it was not directed at her. Sidling closer, she placed one small hand experimentally on his chest where his robe gaped open. "You brought me to Romania, Angelus. I thought we… I thought you…"
Angelus grasped the girls hand roughly and removed it from his chest. "I don't have time for this, Miranda. I'm busy right now and I told you when I left that I'd probably be back. Now leave."
Never the most even-tempered of women, Miranda felt the heat of anger rising in her cheeks. "Probably? *PROBABLY?* Do you expect me to accept…." Before she could complete her sentence, Angelus grabbed her by the throat and started backing her towards the door. Used to this kind of treatment, she didn't even bother to resist, not really believing that he was throwing her out.
"I don't care what you will or won't accept. If I see you in this town again, I'll rip your spine out through your stomach." With a single flick of his head, he instructed his Childe to open the door. He almost smiled when he heard the scramble behind him as William hastily moved to obey his wishes.
"I know you're the Slayer, Miranda, but I promise you that you will not win. Go back to England and …. " he pulled her close and whispered in her ear. "…fuck your Watcher until I can return and fill that hungry little hole of yours…." With a harsh bark of laughter - and carefully avoiding the weak sunlight- Angelus shoved her out the door and slammed it behind her.
He turned to William and sighed. The boy was smirking at him in a most un-submissive manner. "Upstairs, boy… and this time there won't be any interruptions."
Chapter Three"You're lookin' a little uncomfortable, Red. Are you sure you want to hear the rest of this?" Spike dug out another smoke and fired it up.
"I… I don't suppose you could skip some of the graphic descriptions of what he did to you and just…"
"Oh, right, wouldn't want you to get a bad opinion of Peaches, now would I?" He blew out a stream of smoke and shook his head in annoyance at her making him skip the best part of his memories. "Let's just say that by the time the sun went down, he owned me again… completely. I no longer had any desire to leave him." A fond smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. "That's not say I didn't plan on annoying the hell out of him ever chance I got, but…"
"Okay, I get it… go on…. 'cause I really don't want to know about kinky vampire stuff."
Spike lifted an eyebrow at Willow and then chuckled. "Sure ya do, you just don't want to admit how much it turns you on."
"Spiiiike…. just finish your story, okay? My butt is going to sleep and it's late and…"
"Well, then let me skip ahead a little…. unless you want me to do something to get the blood moving in your ass again?"
"Cut it out and just tell me!"
"You really need to learn how to have a little fun, Red. Anyway, Angelus was in a much better mood by the time we got out of bed. Well, *he* got out of bed, *I* still had some recovering to do. He sent Dru in to clean me up a bit and told us he'd be with Darla for the next two nights and that we should be packed and ready to leave by midnight on the third."
"He was going to sneak away?"
"No, he always left before they got tired of each other… safer for both of them that way."
"So where do the Gypsies come into all of this?"
Spike scowled at her impatience. "Usually on their last night together, Darla would present him with some kind of parting gift. Sometimes it was a pretty trinket or some book he mentioned, a rare wine.. just something for him to remember her by until the next time. I never found out exactly what happened, but I do know that Darla brought the girl to him as a prezzie. I don't know why he wanted *that* girl…. but…. I can guess where he saw her….and why…" Spike gazed at the far wall, lost in thought. After a moment, he sighed and rejoined Willow in the present. "Now, can I finish *my* story, *my* way?"
"Oh.. um.. yeah.. sorry."
"Thank you." The sarcasm was heavy in those two words but he continued despite his irritation. "So, now it's midnight on the night we're supposed to leave and no Angelus. Miranda had been 'round a few times, demanding to see Angelus. Between me and Dru, we'd kept her from going to confront Angelus at Darla's - don't ask how unless you want to hear more about that 'kinky vampire stuff'- and it seemed like she was willing to wait until he was done with Darla. But still, Angelus was late and he was *never* late."
---"I'm going to hunt that bitch down and make her tell me what she did to Angelus!" William paced back and forth in front of the chair where Drusilla sat in a daze.
"The little Slayer wouldn't hurt daddy… she likes daddy… she likes us…"
"Dru, *something* must have happened! He wouldn't tell us to be ready and then not come home or send a note 'round. And even if she were angry, Darla wouldn't kill him. Have you seen anything? Do you still feel him?"
Drusilla shook her head sadly. "I already told you that I don't know. Ever since earlier tonight….it's like he's there… but…. not. I.. I… want my Angel… I want him here NOW!" She launched herself out of the chair and clung to William. "You go and bring him back. Will you do that for…me… for us…. Spike?"
It was the first time she'd ever called him by the name he'd chosen for himself. He liked the way it sounded coming from her lips… he liked the way she clung to him and expected *him* to make it better. Him, not …. NO! He wasn't going to think of what it could mean. Angelus was not gone.
He kissed the top of her head and hugged her close for a moment before pulling away from her. "Stay here, pet. I'll be back as soon as I can."
Dru clutched his arm and dug her fingernails into his flesh. "Find him, Spike. Promise me."
"I can't… I don't…."
Drusilla nodded her understanding and released him. "Then promise me that *you* will come back."
"I'll always come back for you, my Princess. That I *can* promise."
---
The vampire now known as Spike followed behind the Slayer and her Watcher as they purposely turned off the main street. He let them get further away from the center of town and all hope of assistance. Finally, they turned into a dead-end alley. Good, she knew she was being followed and by what.
"Slayer."
Miranda let go of her Watcher's arm and turned to face her opponent. When she saw who had been following them, she relaxed. "William." After giving her Watcher a reassuring smile, Miranda marched over to William and quickly pulled him deeper into the alley. "What are you doing here?" she hissed. "Are you trying to get yourself staked? I can't believe you…"
"Miranda? Is everything all right?" She looked over her shoulder and waved her Watcher away. He stopped where he was, but shoved his hand into the pocket where he kept a stake. "This isn't proper, my dear. Please come away."
"I know him. I'll just be a minute…. I'm fine."
"But isn't he… you said we were being followed by a… and he called you…"
"Carlton! He knows who I am, so, please, just give me a minute!" She let out an annoyed huff and returned her attention to William.
"Where's Angelus?"
"What? I thought he was with Daaarlaaa." Miranda mocked the name and stuck her nose in the air.
"So you haven't seen him?" Spike narrowed his eyes and watched her face for the slightest hint that she wasn't telling the truth. He heard her breathing quicken and even in the dim light he could see the blush
forming on her cheeks.
"No, why would I have seen him? It's not like…"
"Liar!" Before she could react, Spike revealed his true face and tripped her, smashing her head onto the cobblestones several times, stopping only once she was unconscious. He didn't want her dead…. yet.
"Fiend of Hell!"
Spike dodged out of the way just as the Watcher's arm descended, stake whooshing through the space only moments ago occupied by his back. Thrown off balance, the Watcher fell to his knees, narrowly missing the downed body of his Slayer.
"What have you done to her? Why? I'll kill you for this, you monster!" Sobbing, he tried to lift her off the ground to check her injuries. "I'll kill you…."
"I was going to leave you out of this, Watcher, but if you insist…."
Spike hauled up the grieving, unresisting man and stripped him out of his overcoat. The vampire looked around the alley for something useful. Spotting a hitching ring, he dragged the Watcher across the alley and used the man's own cravat to tie him to the ring set into the wall. The vampire's cravat was used as a gag. "I think that'll do. Now be a good bloke and do what you were trained to do…. watch."
Spike returned to Miranda's side and propped her up against the wall. She'd not bled much from her head wound but she was still out. Pulling a knife from his boot, he started slashing through the first layer of her clothing. By the time he was down to her underclothes, she began to moan and wake up.
"Ooohhh… my head….Carlton what happened…" Miranda opened her eyes and instinctively moved back from the threat. Her already injured head hit the wall behind her and the world swam before her eyes. "William…. William, what…"
"I want to know what you did to Angelus." Laying the knife on her now bare breastbone, Spike motioned behind him to the Watcher. "If you tell me now, I'll kill you quick and leave him alone. If you don't…" He let the threat hang between them.
"I didn't do… I haven't seen him since… "
"You're lying, little girl." He pressed down on the tip of the knife and dragged it a few inches down her skin. "Now tell me the truth."
The Slayer gasped in pain and looked up into angry blue eyes. "I don't understand, William.. I didn't do anything to him, I swear…"
"Spike."
"What?"
"Call me Spike. You were lying when you said you hadn't seen him. If you didn't stake him, where is he?" Not giving her a chance to lie to him again, Spike severed the muscle that ran underneath the girls armpit. He muffled her scream of pain with his hand. "Now tell me where he is or you'll lose the use of your other arm next."
He could hear the Watcher's grunts and moans as he tried to free himself and help his Slayer.
Miranda panted hard, trying to work through the pain without passing out. "Fuck you! No matter what I say now, you'll still kill me and you won't believe that I didn't do anything to him."
"You're right about that but it's still the wrong answer. He wouldn't leave without a word. Something happened to him. Now tell me what you know and maybe I'll let you go."
Miranda's eyes widened in disbelief. And then… she laughed, sealing her fate. "He left you! Nothing happened to him. He. Just. Left. Go ahead, kill me. Kill Angelus' property, maybe that will bring him running back so he can punish you… Ha! Try it… go on.. I don't think you've got the guts to go against him even though he left you like rubbish in the street…."
His demon howling against the possibility of her words, Spike once again covered her mouth with his hand and lowered the knife to her slightly fleshy stomach. "Looks like you're about to find out if I have the guts or not, little girl…. of course they'll be *your* guts…."
---
"Okay, okay! Stop!" Willow scooted away from Spike and wrapped her arms protectively around her middle. "I read about what you did to her, you don't have to give me any more details, thank you very much."
"You look a little green, pet. Are you sure you're not going to toss your cookies?" He leaned over and snagged his discarded boot from the corner and pulled it back on.
"That was… you… I can't believe…" Willow shook her head and tried again. "I know how you killed her. You don't have to describe it." She took a deep breath to try to calm her rolling stomach. She'd seen many things since she'd discovered Slayers and vampires and things that went bump in the night but she'd never had the killer himself telling her what he'd done with such … such… pleasure. She didn't think Spike was going to have to remind her ever again that he was evil. "Okay, so you… killed Miranda…. then what? Did you just leave… um.. what was his name… her Watcher…"
"Carlton?"
"Yes, Carlton. Did you just leave him there?"
"Pretty much. I was still convinced that she'd killed Angelus in a fit of temper but I didn't think her Watcher had anything to do with it. If I 'd been thinking more clearly I might have suspected him first. It didn't occur to me until later that he might have found out about Miranda and Angelus and took matters into his own hands. 'Course, he was off plotting against me by that time and I couldn't find him."
"How did you finally find out what *had* happened?"
"Darla…. but even when she told me, I didn't believe her."
"Why not? I mean, why would she make up a story…"
"Because the bitch hated me! She was always trying to make me look bad in front of Angelus… always trying to take him away from me…or make him get rid of me…" Spike got up and started pacing back and forth.
"I still don't see how any of this is your fault, Spike."
The vampire just glared at her and continued pacing.
"All right, fine. Just finish it then."
"It was getting late so I went back to Dru. There wasn't time to do anything else before sunrise. We spent the day in Angelus' bed, waiting. When night came again and there was still no word from our Sire, I knew I had to go see Darla….."
---
Spike, dressed in his finest clothes, arrived at Darla's temporary residence an hour after sunset. Before he could raise his hand to knock on the door it abruptly swung open. He jumped to get out of the way as a pair harried servants, carrying a trunk between them, brushed past him without even looking in his direction. The open door then quickly disgorged several more servants bearing trunks and cases of varying sizes and shapes. Clearly Darla was leaving… in a hurry.
He watched as they started loading the luggage haphazardly into a wagon parked in front of a fine carriage. Maybe Angelus….
"William? What are *you* doing here?" The acidly arrogant voice cut into his thoughts and he turned to greet its owner.
"Darla."
"You didn't answer my question, boy. What are you doing here?" Darla stood just outside the door, elegantly dressed for travel. She cocked her head and chuckled. "You're looking for Angelus."
"Yes." It was all Spike could do to remain polite. But if he wanted information…. "I assume he's with you?"
"Don't be presumptuous, William! You come here uninvited and unwanted, you don't greet me properly and then you *assume*?"
Clenching his jaw so hard he was sure a few teeth would pop, Spike bowed his head and mumbled barely loud enough to be heard. "I greet you, Darla, Sire of my Sire. I wish to speak to you about the location of Angelus."
"Gone."
Spike's head jerked up and glared at the woman smirking at him. "What? What do you mean, 'gone'?"
"Gone as in left. You mean he didn't come to say goodbye? I'm… shocked."
Once again, Spike forced down the urge to rip her pretty blonde head off. "Gone where?"
"Well… if you must know…." She paused as the servants filed back into the house to get the next load. "He's probably out wandering the streets somewhere, feeling sorry for himself…. if he hasn't managed to get himself staked by that Slayer that was spying on us… or maybe he's already walked into the sun." She shrugged and turned to watch the servants pile the last of her luggage into the wagon.
"What did you do to him?" Instinctively, he grabbed her and forced her back against the wall. "What did you do!"
Darla raised an eyebrow and looked down to where Spike's hands gripped her shoulders. Once he released her, she smoothed her skirt and stepped away.
"*I* didn't do anything to him. If it was anyone's fault, it was yours." She held up a pre-emptive hand and explained, barely able to contained her fury. "*You* were the one that told him about the gypsy camp. I purposely didn't mention them because I know he has a taste for the exotic. But you just couldn't keep your mouth shut, could you? 'William says there's a gypsy camp outside town, let's go look. William wants a gypsy for Drusilla. William is growing discontent, what should I do? William, William, William!' It's all I heard for two days!"
"Gypsies? What does that have to do with…"
"He wanted her! What was I to do, hmmm? He's my Childe.. I got him what he wanted and they… they…" She spit onto the ground and rounded on Spike. "I should have had you staked as soon as he told me you and that other waste of a demon, Drusilla, were here!"
"The gypsies, Darla, what did the gypsies do to him?" A knot was forming in his stomach… a sensation he hadn't felt for nearly forty years…. fear… dread…. he didn't know.
"They cursed him… gave him a soul! It was disgusting… he was crying! Angelus… crying! He's lost to you now, William, forever… forever and ever." She continued to spit venom at him. "It's almost worth it to be able to see your face right now… And know this, William… if it hadn't been for you and *your* big mouth, he'd be on his way back to England right now."
"No… that… it's not possible… you… I don't believe…" Stunned, Spike leaned against the wall and then slowly slid to the ground.
"I wish I could be there when you find him."
Spike lifted his eyes to see Darla grinning at him malevolently. She crouched down until her eyes were level with his. "I wish I could I be there to see the hate and disgust in his eyes when he looks at you."
She ran a finger over Spike's lips and smiled. "Then again, maybe I'm lying about all of it and he just left because he was so very disappointed in you."
Laughing, Darla rose and waived to the coachman. As she climbed into the coach, she blew a kiss to Spike and then shut the door.
---
Shaking the last cigarette out of the pack, Spike resumed his seat against the crypt wall and lit up. "I never looked for him…. not really. Me and Dru traveled around a lot after that, *supposedly* looking for him, but it was mostly just to please her."
"But… why? Maybe you could've…."
"I didn't want to know, all right? Either way…"
"It wasn't your fault. I don't know how you let that…. that… -okay, I'm going to say it- that B.I.T.C.H., convince you that it was your fault."
"You didn't say it, Red, you spelled it."
"It means the same thing… no, you're not going to distract me from this. It *wasn't* your fault! Just because you mentioned the word 'gypsy' doesn't mean…"
"I don't know why I bothered to tell you all of this, there's no way you can understand." Spike stood up, brushed off the seat of his jeans and grabbed his duster.
"Just because I'm not a vampire or really old doesn't mean I can't understand!" Willow stood up, stretching her stiff muscles. "You think I don't have things I wish I could do over? Things I regret… things I wish I could make right?"
"Whatever." He pulled on his duster and started towards the door of the crypt. "If you want an escort back to the dorm you better move your ass."
Willow rolled her eyes and followed after the annoying vampire.
Obviously he'd said all he was going to say on the matter. She caught up to him a few feet outside the crypt and fell into step beside him. "Spike, I know you're evil and all but once you came here and found out that Darla was telling the truth about the whole soul thing, how come you didn't…"
Spike stopped walking and turned to face his companion. "How come I didn't what, Willow, run back to him like a good Childe and beg his forgiveness? Angel hates me, just like Darla said he would and I hate him. What do I care, anyway? There's no way to 'fix' things and that's not why I told you so just get off it, already."
"That was before. It's different now, you know, with the chip and all. Don't you even want to try and… I don't know… talk to him or something?"
Grunting in disgust and patting his pockets for his non-existent cigarettes, Spike continued across the cemetery, walking fast enough to make Willow have to almost jog to keep up. "Yeah, right. Let's me and poof sit down and have a heart to heart. I'm sure he'd be about as interested in that as I would. He hasn't once asked about me or how I'm dealing with this, has he? Real caring about his responsibilities, he is."
Willow threw up her hands and started walking at a normal pace. "Fine, I give up. You do what you want, but just so you know… I don't think Angel knows about what they did to you."
"What do you mean he doesn't know?" Spike made his way back to Willow and grabbed her arms roughly. The pain in his head made him release her immediately. "Bloody hell! I wasn't hurting you, was I?"
"Only a little… um… sorry."
"You mean to tell me none of you lot bothered to mention it to him? Not once?"
"We… um… don't exactly talk to him all that often and then it's usually… you know, not chit-chat. I've talked to Cordy a few times, but still, the subject never really came up. Did you *want* us to tell him? 'Cause he's probably awake right now, I could call him when I get back to the…"
"NO!" He once again grabbed her by the arms and shook her a little before the pain shot through his head. "OW! Okay, okay, I'm not touching you. No, I don't want you to call him. Not now, not ever. It doesn't matter and I never want to talk about any of this again. Got it?"
Willow nodded her head slowly and walked around the vampire who was still clutching his head between his hands. "We'd better hurry if you're going to get back inside before sunrise."
Spike caught up to the redhead just as she exited the cemetery. "You aren't going to leave this alone, are you?"
"Sure I will. I mean, it's not like you're my friend or anything, right? What possible reason would I have to try and make things better for you?" She smiled at him and crossed the street.
Spike shook his head and sighed. "When am I ever going to learn to keep my gob shut?"
He continued to mumble to himself as he followed Willow back to the dorm.
~Fin~