Xander Harris woke up with a start. His body was drenched in sweat. It took several long minutes before his breathing had ceased to be more than strangled gasps. Looking around, he sighed in relief when he realized where he was.

Home, in his own bed.

Not in some …other place. A place he *hoped* only existed in his mind; that he dreams were just that… dreams.

He heard a loud banging from downstairs and the crash of glass breaking.

Yep, he was still home all right. Straining to see the numbers on the clock from where it had fallen off of his nightstand, Xander sighed. It was early still, barely seven am.

Groaning as he climbed out of bed, Xander stretched his muscles. He really was tired, and would like nothing better than to return to his bed, and hide away, however, sleep was not to be his friend, on this morning or any other.

At least not recently. Between his parents constant fighting, helping the new Slayer with patrols, and these dreams he'd been having on and off for the past few weeks, he was lucky if he slept for more than ninety minutes in one sitting.

Xander made his way into the bathroom for a shower. Cordelia was supposed to pick him up, and he didn't relish listening to her complain if he was late. She was hard enough to deal with when he was rested, and on time.

After a steaming hot shower, Xander got dressed. He heard the front door slam and knew one of his parents had left already, but it was hard to tell which one.

He listened carefully, hoping to avoid them if at all possible. Just as he was about to chance a trip down the stairs, he heard the whiny voice of his mother calling him. She didn't sound like she was in a good mood.

Xander shook his head wearily and looked around the room quickly. Grabbing his jacket, he made his way over to the window and opened it silently. The screen had fallen out months ago and he had never bothered to fix it. He climbed out the window, and maneuvered himself to the side of the house where he jumped down to a lower ledge. He scaled the roof further until he reached a large tree that grew behind the house. Jumping onto one of the thick branches, Xander slid down the trunk until his feet hit the ground.

By the time he had walked around to the front of the house, Cordelia was waiting somewhat impatiently, her car parked in front of the neighbor's house.

He could almost see her foot tapping in irritation.

"Hey, sorry." Xander smiled that 'doofus' grin he had perfected for moments like these.

Cordelia rolled her eyes at him, but she wasn't fooled. "Get in. We're late."

Xander climbed in and was glad that there was something to talk about aside from why he was late, or why he came from the side of the house instead of the front door, like a normal, well-adjusted person would.

"So, What's the G-man got planned for this glorious morning?"

Cordelia turned to glare at him when she stopped at a light. "Research. What else? Will's called this morning. She took Oz to the airport last night after patrol."

Xander nodded. "I know. She called me when she got back. She seemed…" He trailed off, not sure what he was trying to say.

"Relieved?" Cordelia asked, knowing exactly what it was Xander was referring to.

In the months since Acathla had been destroyed and Buffy ran away, things had changed a lot in the small group. Cordelia, Willow, Oz and Xander had been forced to take up the slack with patrols. It was up to them to keep the vampires at bay until Buffy returned, if she returned.

It had made for a changing of things between them. Willow and Cordelia had seemed to work out their differences, and although Cordelia and Xander were no longer seeing each other, they were still very close. They seemed to make better friends than lovers.

Oz had decided that repeating a grade wasn't such a hot idea after all and made up his missing classes so he could graduate. He had been accepted at a collage on the other side of the country and was now probably enjoying the climate change. His departure hadn't seemed to bother Willow as much as they had thought it would. The redhead seemed to recognize that they weren't meant to be.

The most startling change came with the arrival of Kendra's replacement, Faith.

She was nothing like her predecessor, or even Buffy. It had taken the group some time to get used to the differences and realize that it wasn't very likely that Buffy would be returning. Even Giles had stopped looking. Things were good.

But like all things on the Hellmouth, nothing lasts forever.

*~*~*~*

Xander approached his house cautiously. It was well past midnight and he was too tired to deal with his parents. The house was dark and he could almost feel the silence as if it was a tangible thing.

However, he had scars that proved that a dark and silent house didn't necessarily mean his parents were asleep.

Just as he had reached the front door he heard a thump from somewhere upstairs. He didn't need to climb up to the roof to know that the sound had originated from his room. Whoever it was obviously new that he wasn't home.

He had two choices. Either go inside and deal with whatever his parents had planned, or find somewhere else to stay and hope that when he returned home they were less drunk, or more passed out.

Xander sighed and turned around. He didn't even think about where he was going. He knew. It was the same place that had haunted him all these months; the same place he sometimes went to on those nights, like tonight, that he couldn’t go home.

He hadn’t come in several weeks, but all the nights seemed to blend together now.

Nights since Buffy had run away. Nights since Angel had disappeared.

Nights since things had changed.

He walked briskly through the cemetery. Not because he was afraid of being attacked, but because he knew that Willow and Faith were still patrolling and he had no desire to explain why we was wandering around Sunnydale's streets instead of being safe in his own house. Although safety and his house didn't necessarily go hand in hand.

Taking a deep breath as he finally made it past the cemetery, he turned down Crawford Street and made his way towards the silent old mansion. He didn't know why he kept coming back here. Why he felt safe in this huge house, where just anyone could come in and kill him.

This house, where everything had changed.

This was where he had last seen Buffy, fighting for her life, all their lives, against *him*.

This was where he saw Angelus for the last time, knowing there was nothing he could have done. He couldn't have stopped him from opening Acathla; he couldn't have stopped Buffy from fighting him. He couldn't have even stopped him from being sent to Hell.

Although that last one was something that had taken him nearly all of the months since then to realize. He had made a mistake in not telling Buffy that Willow was trying the restoration. And he had done it for his own reasons. Not because Buffy was better off without Angel, or because Buffy wouldn't have been able to kill him if she had known. Not even because he hated him. That wasn't true. It never had been. Never could be.

The truth was he had kept quiet because he had needed to.

He had known that there was nothing that could be done. Nothing that *should* be done. The night before the big fight between Buffy and Angelus had been the first night he had ever had the dream. At least it was the first dream he could recall.

It had been nothing but heat and pain then, and had he known what the dream was telling him, he probably would have done anything to prevent what would happen next. But he didn't, and he had done nothing to stop it. And that was something he had to deal with. Something he had dealt with.

After that night, Xander had believed that the nightmare, which had led to his painful decision, had been nothing more than a nightmare. Some fluke caused by the stress of months of avoiding Angelus. The months where the object of his fantasies had said and done things he couldn't bring himself to think about.

But a few weeks ago he had another dream. It was different than the first. More fire, less pain, but unlike the first, it came with this feeling of completion. Like *something* had happened; something that was supposed to happen.

Something he couldn't quite understand. Something he was afraid to analyze.

He hadn't been back to the mansion since then. He wasn't sure why exactly.

They were just dreams. They meant nothing. Still, he didn't want a reminder of what had happened and how it couldn't be stopped. But now, he was here, again.

And like every time previous, he felt safe here.

Xander Harris opened the front door and stepped inside. The stillness of the room calmed him. The temperature was cool. Not the coldness you would expect from an abandoned building, but not the warmth of a place that had been lived in.

He found himself walking out into the garden, taking in the green plants that grew wild, regardless of having no one to take care of them. The night was cool, and despite being the only one inside the house, he didn't feel alone. Not here.

Sitting down on one of the stone benches, Xander relaxed for the first time in what was probably days. He let his mind wander, not caring where it took him.

*~*~*~*

Faith looked through the darkened cemetery, trying to see who it was that was following them, again. She had felt the presence every night for the past week, and on several occasions before that. Her Slayer senses told her it was a vampire, but there was something off about it, almost as if it was trying to tell her that whoever it was, had no intention of harming her, or any of her friends.

Despite the strangeness of this, Faith trusted her instincts.

She turned to her companion. The redhead was talking about something that had happened in school that day. Telling her all about what she had done while Faith had been stuck in a training session with Giles.

"Faith?" Willow asked quietly, noticing the look on the Slayers face. "What is it?"

Faith turned to Willow and smiled. "Nothin'. What were you saying?" She turned her complete attention back to Willow as she felt the vampire move away from the shadows. Whatever reason he had for following them apparently had nothing to do with her.

Willow continued chattering, seeing her friend relax slightly.

She knew that whoever had been in the shadows had disappeared. She didn't know who it was, or why she and Faith were the objects of their interest, but she wasn't overly concerned. If it was something evil, they would know soon enough, and if it wasn't, well they could never have too much protection on the Hellmouth.

*~*~*~*

The figure standing in the shadows searched the darkness, looking for the reason it patrolled the cemetery, keeping to the shadows.

The boy wasn't here though.

Determining that his query had not patrolled with the girls that night, the figure left.

He went to the mortal boy's house, hoping to catch a glimpse. Hoping to see if he was all right. Almost hoping that he would be seen. That the boy would sense him just as the vampire sensed him. He knew that was a dangerous wish.

Considering their history. Considering the way things had ended. But it was a desire he had nonetheless.

The closer he made it to the Harris house, the more positive the vampire was that Xander was not there. He heard the muffled sounds of an argument, of things being thrown around and felt his demon stir. He hated the fact that his mortal lived here, with people who had so little regard for a life they had created.

Shaking his rage off, the vampire made his way back to his own house. He entered the mansion in silence, feeling at home in the still, cool air that surrounded him. He lit a fire in the fireplace and stared at it, getting lost in the memories it brought forth.

He didn't know how long he had sat there, staring at the flames as they crackled. He was so lost in the memories, and the clarity they had brought him that he didn't feel the presence.

It wasn't until he heard the voice that he realized he was not alone.

"You're back." Xander's voice was quiet, impossibly so.

Angel didn't turn around. "You don't seem surprised."

Xander thought about that for a second. "No, I guess I don't, do I?"

Angel turned around, seeing Xander up close for the first time in centuries. He couldn't speak, couldn't even began to know what to say, or where to start.

"Are you alright?" Xander asked carefully, his eyes the only sign that he cared one way or the other.

"Older… a little more charred…" Angel trailed off.

Xander took a step closer to the vampire. He stared into those dark eyes and felt a sense of relief at what he saw there. Neither spoke for minutes, seeming to communicate everything non-verbally for what could have been mere seconds, or centuries. Neither knew. Neither cared.

Angel took a step closer, his body almost touching the mortal's. He bent his head and placed a kiss on Xander's lips, like he had wanted to do for centuries.

Time seemed to stop as Angel claimed Xander's lips, coaxing the boy's mouth opened.

His whole body screamed in relief and pleasure when it did. There was no doubt, no hesitation, just acceptance.

When Xander pulled away to breathe he looked up at Angel. His dark eyes were sprinkled with gold flecks. "You're better now. Whole?"

It only took a second for Angel to understand his meaning. "Yes."

*~*~*~*

Angel and Xander stared at each other in silence for several long minutes. Neither exactly sure what had happened, or why, or if it was going to happen again.

Finally, Angel spoke. "How did you know?"

Xander leaned back against the wall. "That you were back, or that you were… different?"

"Both… either."

"I didn’t, not really. Not at first. I didn’t come here looking for you."

"You came to get away…from them."

Xander didn’t question how Angel knew about his home life, or why he had come, trusting that the vampire must have some bizarre internal knowledge about him as he did for the vampire. He stood up and looked into the fire once more. "It was hot in Hell. I can still feel the flames as they touched. The burn. But they healed as well." He turned to face the vampire. "Do you remember the heat?" He voice was soft. Almost as though he was recounted some event he couldn’t quiet recall.

Angel nodded. "It wasn't painful. Not the fire. But…"

"But the rest? That hurt?" Xander smiled slightly. "They made you see, what happened… what went wrong?"

Angel ran a hand through his hair as he remembered his time in Hell. So much had happened. So much had changed. He had to witness his life, his decent as it happened. He had to watch what he did to the people he cared about. He watched as he was killed and sent to hell. He learned more about himself than he ever cared to know. But that wasn't all. He saw other things as well. He saw how the others had dealt with his influence on their lives.

He saw how things he had said and done had effected their lives. He saw how is volatile relationship with the Slayer nearly destroyed everything. He saw how the lie he told himself caused more harm that it did good. He saw the decision Xander had made to not tell the Slayer of Willow's plan to try the restoration again. He saw the way the Slayer had run away, leaving her friends to do what it was her destiny to do.

He understood her reason for leaving. Her need to find herself away from her calling.

But at the same time he couldn't forgive her for running away. He knew he was to blame for much of her pain, and he hated himself for that. But with his time in hell, came clarity.

He had made some really bad decisions, and done some things that never should have been contemplated much less acted upon. Yet, he couldn't feel guilt for them, because in the end, they had led him here.

Angel looked up at the mortal, more confused now that ever. "How did you… how do you know?"

Xander shrugged. "I just do. I'm not sure how, or why. I just know its something I know. You're different now. I can feel it. I can feel you. In here." He motioned to his heart. "Inside of me." He looked away shaking off the feeling. He wasn't sure what he was saying, or what any of it meant, he only knew that it was true.

Angel closed his eyes for a moment. He couldn't fault Xander for his lack of an explanation. He didn't have a better idea what had happened. He had changed, he could feel it. Something was different. His soul, his demon, they were both there, but unlike before they weren't at odds with one another. He couldn’t really explain the feeling, especially since he had no idea what had happened to change it.

He felt connected. To life in general and to Xander specifically, although he wasn't sure why that was. Even now, with his eyes closed, he could feel Xander standing just a few feet away. It felt almost like an extension of himself and he had to wonder why that was.

"Do you really need to know?" Xander's voice brought Angel out of his internal musings.

Opening his eyes, Angel stared at the mortal. It was a full minute before he realized that Xander had spoken in direct response to his thoughts. He was about to ask how when he thought about Xander's question. He shook his head. "No, it doesn't. But it'll take some…"

"…Getting used to?" Xander finished with a smile.

Angel laughed. It was a rich sound and one he didn't think he'd be hearing coming from his own mouth for quite some time. But he felt at ease. Truly at ease for the first time, in a very long time.

"What now?" He asked quietly.

Xander took a deep breath. "Now I tell the others that you're back."

Angel raised an eyebrow. "They won't be too happy."

"They'll understand."

"And if they don't?" Angel needed to know what would happen then.

Xander shrugged. "Relax, Deadboy, you can't get rid of me that easily." He grinned and held out a hand to Angel.

The vampire took it and rose to his feet. Before he had a chance to realize what had happened, he felt the mortal's warm lips against his in an almost chaste kiss. Then they were gone before he could even respond to the sensation. Angel blinked and watched in stunned shock as Xander disappeared out the door.

Angel leaned back against the wall and took a deep, unnecessary breath. His unlife had just gotten a hell of a lot more complicated.

*~*~*~*

Xander left the mansion and made his way to Willow's house. He didn't want to stop and think about what had just happened. He couldn't even begin to explain it. He wasn't sure he even wanted to. As confusing as the situation was, it seemed… right, somehow.

As he made his way up the driveway to Willow's house, Xander was glad that her parents had decided that staying in Sunnydale was too much of a hassle. They had left again shortly after Willow had been released from the hospital and hadn't been back since. They called once every couple of weeks, and sent their daughter money for expenses, but that was the most you could hope from the Rosenbergs. Which, actually was a good thing, considering their nightly extra-curricular activities, and the fact that Faith was now living with Willow. Xander wasn't sure how that little revelation would have gone over. Not that it mattered, since her parents probably wouldn't have noticed even if they had been home.

Xander took a deep calming breath as he knocked on the door. He was afraid to stop and think before coming here. Afraid he'd chicken out and keep Angel's return a secret.

And as much as he wasn't against the idea of keeping the vampire all to himself, he knew secrets could destroy the friendships they had built since Buffy had left.

"Xan?" Faith peered around the darkened porch. "What's wrong? I thought you went home?"

Xander shrugged and sagged slightly against the side of the house.

Faith pulled him inside and began looking him over slightly, searching for any new bruises. "You're parents?" She asked while shepherding him into the living room. "Red!" Faith hollered up the stairs. "Xan's here."

Xander pushed her prying hands away. "I'm fine, really. I didn't even see them."

Faith looked at him skeptically.

"Really. I swear. I didn’t even go into the house. I just really need to talk to Wills. Something happened." He looked up as Willow came down the stairs. "It's about Angel."

Willow stood frozen for a second before continuing into the living room. She was wearing her pajamas and running a brush through her still damp hair. "Angel?" She asked quietly. She still felt bad about not re-cursing him sooner.

"He's back." Xander nodded. "At the mansion… I just left him."

Willow's eyes grew wide as she felt her feet give out underneath her. Faith reached her just before her butt hit the ground with a thump. Faith looked up at Xander. "Are we happy to see psycho killer vamps?"

*~*~*~*

Xander sighed as he sat on the couch as he waited for Willow get her bearings. He knew she still held guilt about Angel going to Hell. He watched as realization entered her face when she acknowledged that Xander had in fact said what she thought he said.

"He's back. Really? Are you sure?" She sat down carefully in the chair opposite the couch. She knew Xander wouldn’t joke about something like this but it was really difficult to believe.

"Yes. My parents were… otherwise engaged, so I went over to the mansion… imagine my surprise when I found out I wasn‘t alone." Xander smiled, trying to reassure her by making light of the situation, knowing she was probably concerned.

"He's… alright?" Willow spoke after a minute. "In one piece? Not… Angelusy?"

Xander laughed. He couldn't help it. He knew that the Angelus issue would have been a concern despite what they had learned about what happened with Acathla, but only Willow would ask first about Angel's physical condition, and secondly worry about the state of his soul.

"Yeah, he's Angel." He paused, not sure if he could explain what he said next. "Permanently."

Faith's eyes shot up at that little revelation. She didn't know Angel personally, but she had heard all about him, both from Red and Xander, as well as a smattering of information from the Fashion Queen.

Faith eyed Xander carefully trying to figure out exactly how it was the boy knew Angel's soul was permanent, and how he could be so sure that it was. The way she understood things, Angel and Xander had had a troubled relationship, and that was putting things mildly. Although Xander rarely spoke about the vampire other than general facts and information. And he never talked about their relationship, if there had been one.

"How do you know?" The Slayer asked her new friend.

Xander flinched slightly. That was one question he didn't have an answer to. "I just do."

"Something happened." Willow stated, recognizing that Xander wasn’t sharing everything.

"Something did." He acknowledged. "But…not now okay Wills?"

"But soon?" She asked, needing some kind of promise.

"Yes." He stood up and stretched slightly. He was exhausted. "I'm trashed... you think I can crash?" He looked hopefully at Willow.

Willow nodded, her mind still trying to understand what Xander had said. It was clear that he didn't want to answer anymore questions, but she had so many that needed answering.

Xander kissed her on the cheek and ran up the stairs to one of the spare bedrooms.

Once she heard the door close, Willow turned to her roommate and friend. "Something's going on there."

Faith moved to the couch so she was facing the redhead. "Something? Like what?"

Willow shook her head. "I don't know, but something. Angel and Xander have always had a… tense relationship."

"They hated each other." Faith nodded, remembering what Cordelia had told her once.

"No, never that. That's the way it seemed, but it was never about that."

Faith raised an eyebrow. "Are you saying they… dug each other… as in bump and grind?" She grinned, not finding the idea all that unpleasant, event though she didn't know Angel personally. Xander had always seemed a little fruity to her.

Willow laughed. "I don't know about that." She frowned as another thought struck her.

Noticing Willow's look, Faith grew concerned. "Would it bother you?"

"What?" Willow looked up, her green eyes getting caught but the look in Faiths.

"Would it bother you if they were… involved? I mean, with them both being… guys and all? Does that sort of thing bother you?" She know she sounded ridiculous asking this question, knowing that her interest had nothing to do with Xander's sexual orientation, but her own.

Willow smiled. "No. Xander's gay… I've known that for awhile now." She looked down at the floor, not wanting to see Faith's _expression at her next words. "Besides, that would be sort of hypocritical of me, wouldn't it?"

*~*~*~*

Rupert Giles slept an uneasy sleep, as he had for many months now. He hadn't truly slept fitfully since before Jenny's death. He knew that Angel wasn't to blame for the actions of his demon, just as he knew that Jenny could not be faulted for keeping her families history a secret.

He had spent the months since her death going over everything that he could have done differently, and had found nothing that could have been changed. Likewise, he had spent much of his waking hours since Buffy's disappearance wondering if there was something he should have done, something he should have said to make things easier on his Slayer.

He had recently come to the conclusion that there was nothing that could have been done. Nothing could have changed what happened. He knew it was unlikely Buffy would be returning, and he had come to terms with that reality. The arrival of Faith had forced him into that realization.

The brunette Slayer was nothing like Buffy, but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. She was different, and seemed to have fit in nicely with the rest of the small group. She had formed strong relationships with Xander, Cordelia and especially Willow, and had taking to her calling with a fervor Buffy had rarely showed. She didn't seem weighed down by her destiny, although she was a handful, and couldn't be controlled. Giles was quick to recognize the differences and never once tried to compare the two.

He was slowly starting to feel comfortable with his charges one again, knowing they were his family, no matter what had happened, or what was to happen in the future.

However, this knowledge did nothing to assuage his restless sleep.

The watcher sat up straight in his bed. He looked around with bleary eyes. Something had woken him, but he wasn't exactly sure what it was.

"Rupert…"

Giles looked around frantically for the source of the voice. He couldn't possible have heard what he thought he heard.

"Jenny?" He asked more to himself than the voice itself.

"Yes, Rupert, its me."

Giles looked up at the voice. There, right before his eyes, his love materialized. She didn't appear to be completely solid, but otherwise didn't look any different than the day she died.

"No, you're not real."

Jenny smiled. "What is real, Rupert? I am here, in spirit, if not in body."

"Why?"

"It's time to forget, Rupert. It's time to move on. A Change is coming. You will all need each other."

"A change?" Giles asked, ignoring the ludicrousness of the situation.

"Yes. All has been made right. My peoples error has been remedied." She smiled sadly. "He has returned. You must not fault him for his demons actions."

"Mistake?" He asked, getting stuck on her first statement. "Returned? Do you mean Angelus…Angel?" Giles was trying to understand her words, and wanted desperately for her explain them, but just as soon as she spoke she started to fade. "Wait, don't go"

"Be strong, Rupert…" Her words trailed off and Giles was left alone once again.

*~*~*~*

Xander woke up in the middle of the night, sweating profusely. He'd had another dream, but unlike the other times, he couldn't recall it. Just the heat and the pain.

Worse than ever before. Normally when he had had the dreams, he felt the warmth of the fire and an echo of emotions. But nothing like this.

He could almost hear the anguished screams inside his head. The pain was incomparable. It was like nothing he had ever experienced, or could ever imagine anyone ever living through. His skin felt as though it was on fire, burning him from the inside.

Xander climbed out of bed and pulled on his shoes. Before he could even think about what he was doing, he was outside, on Willow's porch. He looked up into the sky and marveled at how clear it was.

He had never before taken the time to just look at the sky. But he did now, and it seemed so still and silent. As if it knew the frail edge he was balancing on. His heart was hammering painfully in his chest, as he struggled to remind himself that it was just a dream. It wasn't real.

But that was part of the problem, wasn't it? It was real. It had been real. The screams he heard were real. The heat, which seared his skin, was real. The anguish and pain he felt was real. It was all real.

He didn’t know how that fact was suddenly so clear, when it had only been a vague fear before, but he knew it was true.

Shaking his head from the pain of the memories, which were suddenly clear inside his own mind, Xander ran. At first he didn't know where he was going, not consciously. But before too long, he found himself standing in front of the mansion.

It loomed largely in the darkness, lighted only by the full moon. Xander froze momentarily, unsure of what he was doing. His fear and confusion only ruled him for a moment though.

He pushed open the front door and entered the mansion, looking around the empty area. The fireplace was empty and their wasn't any sign of Angel, despite the lateness of the hour. The room was chilly and Xander felt the temperature start to cool his heated skin.

He was still sweating, and the chilly atmosphere only barely registered. He pulled his shirt over his head and set it down on the lone couch in the room. Walking to the double doors, which led outside, Xander was careful not to make too much noise as he opened them to the garden on the side of the house.

Closing the door behind him, Xander stared up into the starless night, marveling at how different it looked from here, as opposed to the view outside of Willow's house. He continued staring, letting the still night calm his heartbeat and sooth him.

*~*~*~*

Angel woke up with the knowledge that he was not alone. He wasn't sure what it was that alerted him to the presence. Maybe it was some sixth sense he wasn't aware he possessed. Or maybe it was just due to the connection he felt with this mortal. But whatever it was, he recognized the presence for what it was.

Xander

He was in the house. And he was tense. He could feel the stress radiating from him, and he wondered what had happened to upset him. When he realized what it could be, his silent heart lurched in his chest.

Climbing out of bed and throwing on a pair of boxers, Angel walked out towards the garden. He didn't even stop anywhere else in the house. He knew, instinctively where he would find him. He was drawn to him like a moth to a flame.

Angel approached the double doors, which led to the garden silently. He watched Xander through the glass doors. He was sitting on one of the stone benches looking up into the sky. If it weren't for the rapid beat of the mortal's heart, Angel would have thought Xander had fallen asleep.

Stepping outside, Angel came to stand behind Xander and looked up into the night sky.

There weren't any stars and the moon shown brightly in the curtain of black.

"It's beautiful." Angel whispered.

Xander tensed slightly at the softly spoken words. "Did I wake you?" He asked, still looking skyward.

Angel came around and sat down next to Xander, trying not to stare at his naked chest. "No. Well… maybe." He admitted.

Xander turned to look at the vampire and noticed that Angel was wearing even less than he was. A pair of boxers, and that's it. He forced his eyes back up to Angel's face.

"Sorry. I… I didn't want to wake you." He stood up. "I'll leave."

"No." Angel grabbed the mortal's wrist, preventing him from disappearing into the house. "Stay. Please."

Xander hesitated for a moment and then nodded. "Okay." He sat back down and looked back into the sky.

"You want to talk about it?" Angel asked quietly after several minutes.

"I couldn't sleep." Xander whispered back. He turned to look at the vampire, and their eyes met, and locked. "How about you?" He spoke quietly, hoping his voice didn't sound as husky as he thought it did.

"Me?" Angel asked, trying to remember what they were talking about.

Xander smiled and looked away, breaking their contact. "How are you sleeping?"

Angel looked away from the mortal, who suddenly held more fascination than he had ever remembered showing anything before. "Good. I haven't had any dreams. Not since coming…back."

Xander nodded. "That's good." He stood up and made his way back into the house. He needed to get some distance between him and the vampire. He didn't understand what was going on and wasn't in any condition to try and figure it out.

"You should try and get some sleep." Angel's voice startled Xander. He hadn't heard the vampire come inside.

"Yeah. I'll… uh… I'll sleep out here." Xander motioned towards the couch.

"Take the spare bedroom." Angel placed a hand on Xander's shoulder and then removed it immediately when he felt the searing heat from the touch.

Xander turned around. "You sure?" He asked.

Angel nodded, unsure if he could get his mouth to move. They were standing so close now Angel could feel the heat coming off of Xander's body.

Xander turned back around and headed down the hall. He stepped into the bedroom. He closed the door behind him and leaned against it, sighing heavily. He didn't question how it was he knew which bedroom was the spare and which was Angel's. He ran a hand through his hair idly as he walked across the room to open the window. He was still burning up and felt as though he was going to melt at any moment. He could still feel the flames from his dream, scorching him. The pain weaving itself around him like a living thing.

Lying down on the bed, Xander closed his eyes. He was exhausted, and thankful for the bed to sleep on. The couch wouldn't have been near as comfortable, although Xander acknowledged the fact that he would have slept almost as soundly, if only for the reason that he was in the same house as the man who had haunted his dreams for weeks.

He fell asleep in seconds, his worries and concerns about what was happening to him in the back of his mind.

*~*~*~*

Angel stood outside the bedroom door until he heard Xander's heartbeat return to its normal speed and his breathing level out. Once he had returned to his own bedroom and lay down on his own bed, the vampire tried to analyze what it was what happening between he and Xander. He didn't know what it was about the mortal that effected him so.

However, he was aware that this change in his relationship with Xander didn't start with his return from Hell. Certainly something had changed since then. Some invisible connection between the two. Some link they now shared. But he had always been keenly aware of the mortal boy. Ever since their first meeting.

He had been wary to understand it at first. His life had held such confusion for him since the curse, and his belief that the Slayer was his salvation had driven him to block out certain things which he now realized weren't as random or unimportant as he had previously believed.

But things were different now. He was different, and somehow so was Xander. He didn't know exactly what that meant, and wasn't certain he wanted to find out. He didn't know what that knowledge would mean. Would it change things? Would finding out the reason behind it all make it different? Make them different?

He knew he couldn’t stay in Sunnydale anymore. His time here was over. He understood that. But he also recognized that there was a reason, this was where he ended up. Again.

There was something here he was supposed to do, or get, or something he was supposed to make happen. Was Xander a part of that? And when he left, could he say goodbye to Xander?

Angel's thoughts were cut off mid stride as he felt an intense wave of pain pass through him. It was so powerful he was frozen in terror for a moment. When the moment passed, he shot out of bed and ran down the hall. He didn't bother to knock as he entered the bedroom.

Xander was lying across the top of the bed, still wearing his jeans, but little else. A sheen of sweat could be seen glisten on his bare chest. His body was shaking slightly as he took large gasps of breath and Angel could hear his heart beating rapidly in his chest.

"Xander." Angel lay a gentle hand on Xander's chest, right over his heart.

The mortal didn't seem to notice. Angel tried to ignore the intense heat radiating off of the mortal body as he shook. Without thinking too hard about what he was doing, the vampire pulled the mortal into his arms.

Almost immediately his own cool skin was scorched by the heat from the mortal. It had been centuries since he had been this close to another person, but he was certain that this wasn't normal.

Xander was still asleep, that much was certain, but the tremors were racking his body and Angel was almost incapacitated by the intense wave of pain and fear and anguish going through him. And the heat. It was almost unbearable, bringing forth memories Angel had tried to forget.

Making a decision, the vampire picked Xander up and carried back into his own room, where he would be safe once the sun rose. He climbed into his own bed, keeping his own body wrapped around the mortals, hoping the coolness of it would some how douse the heat which was permeating Xander.

He slipped into an uneasy sleep, wondering what it was his mortal had been dreaming about to cause this reaction.

*~*~*~*

Xander woke up with the decidedly unfamiliar although not unpleasant sensation of being wrapped in coolness. He opened his eyes slightly, unsure of what he would find.

His heart skipped a beat, or possibly several at the sight which greeted him. He was in Angel's bed, with Angel's body wrapped tightly around him. There was no way for him to leave without waking the vampire. But suddenly he realized what it was that stuck foremost in his mind about waking up in this position.

It wasn't the nearly naked man of his dreams he was lying with, or even the coolness of that body which was offsetting his own heat. It wasn't the confusion over how he had ended up in Angel's bed or the knowledge that something had obviously happened while he slept. No, what stood out in his mind most of all was the safety.

That feeling he had never known, until know. That knowledge that he was safe and that nothing would harm him. He hadn't known safety or love or reassurance in his life and as unusual as the feeling was, it wasn't surprising. Somehow he had known that being in Angel's arms would feel like this.

It was good to be right, every once in awhile.

Xander closed his eyes and relaxed into the strong arms and returned to peaceful oblivion.

*~*~*~*

Willow knocked softly on the door leading into the spare bedroom. When there was no answer she knocked a little louder. "Xander."

"He's gone."

Willow turned around and saw Faith standing at the end of the hall. She was wearing a tank top, a pair of underwear and nothing else. Willow felt her cheeks flushing as she struggled to remember what she was going to say.

"Where…" Willow cleared her throat. "Where is he?"

Faith grinned, decidedly pleased at the effect she was having. She shrugged. "Don't know. He ran out of here in the middle of the night." She turned around and headed down the stairs. "If I had to guess, I'd say Xan's doing the horizontal mambo with that no-so-evil anymore creature of the night."

Willow followed her down the hall, trying to ignore the sight of Faith's hips as they moved and concentrating on what she was saying. "Angel? No, I don't think so. He wouldn't just leave like that. Unless…"

"Unless what?" Faith asked as she entered the kitchen and started the coffee.

"Unless he had another dream. You don't think Angel has anything to do with those do you?"

Faith looked confused for a moment and Willow smiled and looked apologetic. "Xan's been having these dreams on and off for the past several weeks. He thinks I don't know about it, but he never could hide anything. Especially not when he talks in his sleep." She grinned.

Faith laughed, remembering a night not too long ago when they had had a small get together at their house. Cordelia, Oz and Xander had come over to watch some movies.

About halfway through the first movie Xander had fallen asleep and proceeded to recount the details of a rather interesting dream.

He had been mumbling at the intense heat and something about a fire. The group had assumed it had something to do with the viewing of 'Backdraft' from earlier in the day and had laughed about how susceptible their friend was to outside influence.

Now though, Faith starting thinking about that night and the few nights he had stayed over since then. He often woke up in the middle of the night, looking as though he had been put the ringer. She wasn't an expert on dreams, or much of anything else, but it seemed to be more than a coincidence to her.

"Maybe." Faith commented as she began to poor the coffee. "You better get ready. I seriously doubt G's gonna be pleased about Xan's news."

Willow paled slightly. "No. He won't." She took the coffee and headed back up to her room to finish getting ready for school. All the while trying to think of a way to explain to Giles the fact that not only was Angel back, but that there seemed to be something going on between he and Xander.

"Oh, Goddess." She sighed to herself. "What am I going to tell him?"

*~*~*~*

"You know?" Willow looked up at her mentor, her brows crinkled. "How?"

Giles smiled softly as he remembered his visit the night before. "Jenny."

Willow looked from Giles to Cordelia and Faith who were seated at the library table, perfectly willing to let Willow do all the explaining. When she looked back up to Giles he still had that soft smile on his face and she wondered if maybe she had missed some important piece of information.

"Jenny?" She asked carefully, not wanting to upset the librarian. "Giles…"

"She came to see me, last night." Giles interrupted.

"You had a dream?" Cordelia asked.

"No." Giles sighed. "It wasn't a dream. Jenny… she came to me. She told me that her people’s error had been fixed and that it was time to forget and move on. She said that ‘he has returned‘ and not to hold him accountable for his demons actions. I didn‘t understand it at the time, but now, I know she must have been talking about Angel."

"Error?" Faith asks, confused. Things are getting very strange. "What error?"

Giles sighed again. "Jenny was a gypsy. Her ancestors were responsible for the curse on Angel's soul." He pulled out a heavy book from the counter and lay it on the table in front of the girls. "I did some research. The spell they used, it was altered from its original form."

"The clause?" Willow asked carefully.

Giles nodded. "The alterations resulted in the clause, but also something else."

Cordelia groaned. "There's more? Does this mean that now that he's back he's going to try and kill us all again?" She sounded as though she was concerned for her own welfare, but the other three in the room knew she was really worried about Xander.

"I don't believe so." Giles turns a page in the book. "I believe that the curse was responsible for everything that happened before."

"The curse?" Faith asked disbelievingly. "I hate to tell you this, G, but Vampires kill, that's what they do."

"Yes, but his curse, it changed him, twisted him somehow, and his… involvement with Buffy made it worse, it damaged him."

"Damaged him how?" Willow asked, afraid she already knew the answer from her own research, but needing to be sure, if not for their own sakes, for Xander's.

"Vampire’s and Slayers aren’t supposed to have any contact, aside from the kind that leads to death." Faith said suddenly, beginning to understand, remembering something her first watcher had said once. "It’s happened before. Once."

Giles looked up, surprised. Faith, like Buffy, didn’t seem like the type to do a lot of studying into the history of Slayers and Watchers, nor had she ever made mention of her life before Sunnydale.

"Yes. In the fifteenth century, a Slayer fell in love with a young vampire. We don’t know all of the details about how exactly that happened, only the results."

"A Hellmouth was created, opened successfully, if only briefly. Thousands of people were killed." Faith offered with a shrug, not really wanting to talk about how she knew about it.

"Yes. The vampire went mad… seriously insane, killing his own line as well as others, demons and mortals alike. Afterwards, the council discovered an ancient text that may date back to before the watchers were founded, before Slayers knew what they were. It’s states the volatile nature of Slayers and vampires demands that the only relationship they can have is a fatal one. Anything else will only bring death. To everyone."

Giles looked back to the book then away from it, his eyes staring sightlessly for a second. "But Angel's… better now."

"That's what Xander said." Willow agreed, trying to absorb what Giles and Faith has both said. She wasn’t really surprised. She had always tried to be supportive to Buffy where Angel was concerned, but it always seemed as if something was fundamentally wrong there, but she could never figure out what, aside from the obvious.

Willow wasn’t certain exactly what Giles was talking about, regarding Angel’s being *better* or how he could know, but believed it to be the truth.

*~*~*~*

Angel woke up to a burning sensation. Not completely uncommon since his return from hell. But this time it was different. He hadn't had one of *those* dreams in several days, and didn't remember having one now. It was something else that woke him.

The heat was coming from the body in his arms. Xander was burning up still. He could almost feel the steam rising from his skin. Angel climbed out of bed gently and went into the bathroom to get a cool cloth. Hopefully he could bring Xander’s fever down himself.

It was mid morning and there was no way he could get Xander to the hospital without turning to ash himself, and calling Xander's friends didn't seem like the best idea.

"Xander." He called softly as he placed the cool cloth on the boy's brow.

Xander stirred slightly before opening his eyes. "Angel?" He asked quietly.

"You have a fever." Angel replied to the question in the dark eyes.

"I had another dream." Xander mumbled as he tried to sit up.

Angel puzzled at the odd comment as he helped Xander up. "You should take a bath. It'll help bring your fever down."

Xander nodded and tried to get up, but his head started to swim in dizziness. Xander grinned slightly, and flopped back onto the bed, only barely aware he wasn't in the same bed he fell asleep in. "I don't think I could make it to the bathroom. I'll just rest here. It'll pass."

"I don't think so." Angel lifted Xander up and carried him into the bathroom across the hall.

The vampire set the young mortal on the toilet seat lid, and turned around to start the water in the bath. He left the water on the cool side, hoping to bring the fever down.

Once the tub was filled he turned around and pulled the mortal to his feet, divesting him of his remaining clothes, then moving him over to the tub, lifting him up and into the water.

Xander seemed only vaguely aware of the change in scenery as he sunk into the back of the bathtub, his eyes closed. The cool water felt like heaven on his heated skin. He could feel the vampire gently bathing him and he sighed in pleasure. His energy was returning, but he was still a bit weak.

After several minutes of silence, Xander opened his eyes. Angel was still gently washing him, but he had this odd _expression on his face. When their eyes locked, Angel spoke quietly.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"About what?" Xander was confused.

"The dreams. They're not dreams are they?" Angel rung the washcloth out and stood up to get a towel.

Xander sighed and sat up a bit. "Not exactly. More like… memories. I think."

Angel took a deep unnecessary breath and concentrating on getting Xander out of the bath and dried before he even attempted to comment.

Once Xander was dressed in a comfortable pair of oversized sweats and sitting uncomfortably across from Angel in the living room he hazarded a look at the vampire.

He knew this conversation was something that needed to happen, but that didn't mean he was looking forward to it.

"How long?" Angel finally asked.

"I don't know. Weeks, maybe months. It all seems to blend together." He stopped and looked into Angel's eyes and suddenly knew now was the time to come clean, completely. Whatever was between them was important. He didn’t know much, but *that* he did know. And whatever it was, wouldn’t be helped if he kept secrets.

"Before… when you were… not yourself… I kept having these dreams. I'm not really sure what they were about exactly. I can't remember the specifics, just that when I woke up I knew things I shouldn't."

"Like?" Angel prompted when it looked like Xander had stopped speaking.

"Like… that thing at the mansion… with Acathla… Willow was going to try the spell again. I was supposed to go tell Buffy about it, but I knew that I couldn't. Not because of what everyone thought afterwards." Xander looked into Angel's eyes, his own pleading for understanding. "It wasn't because I was jealous, or I hated you, or any other reason. I just *knew* that what was going to happen there, had to happen. It was supposed to happen." He paused and took a deep, shaky breath. "But, Angel, I didn't know about Hell, or what would happen to you. If I had, I…"

"It's okay." Angel spoke softly, moving forward and pulling Xander closer. "You were right. I had to… go through that."

Xander nodded, knowing it was true. "Still, it… hurt." His voice sounded pained on the last word.

"How much have you seen… experienced?" Angel's words were soft, almost a purr as he enfolded Xander into his arms.

"All of it." Xander choked out. "Maybe. I don't remember everything, but sometimes it comes back to me in these dreams. I can see it, feel it… it's almost as if I'm there…" He trailed off, shuddering slightly.

"But, it's just a dream." Angel spoke more certainly that he felt. "Isn't it?"

"I… I don't know. I think so. But the things that happened to you there. I can still feel them, inside my skin, like they happened to me, but there isn't any scars, or… anything."

"There wouldn't be." Angel tried to speak clearly, his own horror at what Xander was saying, locked deep inside him. "If your… connected… to me, then there wouldn't be anything…" He trailed off, not knowing how to explain it.

"Because you're a vampire." Xander stated, suddenly certain that that was the answer, although he wasn't sure how he knew.

Angel nodded and Xander could feel it against his back. "Was that the first one?" Angel asked after several silent minutes.

"First what?" Xander questioned, his brain was turning to sludge, his memories of the past few months swirling together.

"The first dream… was Acathla the first one?"

Xander started to nod but then stopped, a sudden memory coming forth. "No, it wasn't." He said, almost surprising himself with the words. "There was another one."

"When?" Angel asked, his voice soft against Xander's ear.

"The night before…" Xander gulped and looked towards the window leading to the garden, his mind remember the dream clearly now. "The night before Buffy's birthday party."

They both sat in silence. Finally, Angel spoke. "What was it about?"

"It was weird. Jenny was there… and Drusilla. They were trying to tell me something, but I can’t remember what now. At the time, it seemed like gibberish, another language. Then there were all these flashes. Weird things. Werewolves and weird fish creatures, and me being chased by a horde of angry women, and death. Lots and lots of death. Then nothing until the fire. Then it was gone. It was over." Xander took another deep breath before continuing. "I couldn't go back to sleep for awhile after that. But when I did, I didn't dream again, that I remember, and when I woke up, it was only with a vague memory of having a nightmare, but not what it was about.

Angel sat absorbing this latest revelation, realizing the dream for what it was. Some sort of prophetic warning, which either was meant to alert Xander to the coming troubles, or was supposed to help prevent the tragedies from occurring. Considering the sudden knowledge that everything had happened the way it was supposed to, and for a reason, the vampire had to believe it was the former.

"What do we do now?" Xander asked quietly, his own mind numb with the realities of what he had just revealed.

"About what?" Angel wasn't sure what the mortal was referring to.

"This thing… your coming back… the others… us. Whatever." Xander shuddered slightly, now chilled. His body's reaction to the recurring dreams was over now, and the night's chill combined with the cool body behind him was causing him to shiver, not to mention the odd subject matter.

"I don't know." The vampire let Xander go gently and moved out from behind him. He left the room for a second and came back with a thick blanket. After wrapping it around Xander, he resumed his position behind him and enfolded him back in his arms.

"I think I have to leave. Sunnydale. My place… isn't here, not anymore."

Xander agreed with this assessment. His weird unexplained knowledge told him the same thing. "When?"

"I don't know. Soon." Angel paused, shoring up courage to ask the next question. "Will you come with me?"

*~*~*~*

Xander leaned back into the arms surrounding him.

"Yes." He answered quietly, suddenly knowing that whatever happened now, his place wasn't in Sunnydale anymore either.

"Are you sure?" Angel asked quietly, his voice not much more than a rumble in Xander's ear.

"Yeah, I am." Xander relaxed into the vampire and closed his eyes.

Angel watched Xander as the mortal slipped into sleep, and wondered, not for the first time, what exactly was happening, and if he would ever truly know.

After several minutes spent in silence, contemplating the odd changes this mortal seemed to bring into his life, Angel stood up, lifting Xander into his arms, and carrying him into his bedroom. Maybe he could get the rest he apparently needed.

In all honesty, Angel didn't really know Xander at all. He'd always felt a sort of connection to him, but one he couldn't even begin to explain. He had always felt that there was something about Xander that was… hidden. He was like a puzzle. No matter how many sides you saw, how many angles you looked at, you would never see the complete picture, because there were always pieces missing. There would always *be* pieces missing.

Now, after what seemed like several lifetimes, he was beginning to see. To see that the missing pieces weren't nearly as important as the ones that he *could* see.

There was still a lot about Xander Harris he didn't understand.

Xander wasn't the idiot he appeared to be at first glance. He wasn't ignorant or inept.

For reasons Angel couldn't fathom, those were all things that Xander worked hard at showing the world.

Angel was discovering that there was a lot more to the mortal boy.

There was still much he didn't know, didn't have a clue about, but what he did know was that some way, some how, he and this mortal *boy* were linked together. There was nothing he could do about it, even if he wanted to, and he didn't.

A sound outside drew Angel's attention away from Xander. He closed the bedroom door quietly, leaving it opened a crack and moved towards the sound. He could hear slight shuffling feet on the other side of the heavy door, and slow breathing, almost as if whoever it was, was trying to *prepare* themselves before knocking on the door.

Angel stood on his side of the door and waited, knowing that his visitor must have had an excellent reason for coming. After another two and a half minutes of deep breathing and hesitant shuffling, there was a knock on the door.

Angel waited. There was another knock. Angel waited again, now stealing himself, for what he was sure to be a confrontation. He opened the door.

"Rupert." Angel spoke calmly, staring at his visitor.

Giles looked at the vampire and cleared his throat once before speaking.

"Angel. May I come in?"

Angel stepped aside and opened the door wider. Giles entered the large, nearly bare room and moved towards the fireplace, waiting for Angel to join him.

Angel followed him into the room and watched as the watcher made a concerted effort not to look at him, to look everywhere *but* at Angel.

"I heard you were… back." Giles began, his voice quiet, tense as he faced the cold fireplace.

"Yeah." Angel answered. There really wasn't anything else for him to say about that. He looked across at the man before him. A man he had inflicted great pain and anguish on. A man he would like to apologize to, make amends with, but as much as he would have liked for that to happen. It just wasn't possible. He knew it. Giles knew it. There was no sense in pretending that it was.

"Did Xander tell you? Angel questioned after a lengthy silence. "Willow?"

"Uh… no." Giles cleared his throat uncomfortably and turned to face the vampire for the first time. "It was… Jenny, actually."

Angel looked up sharply, unsure if he'd heard correctly, but not wanting to repeat the name. Not now, with this man. Judging from the stiff set of Giles shoulders and the serious look on his face, Angel didn't doubt that he had heard correctly, or that Giles had indeed spoken, somehow, to his dead love. In his years walking the Earth he had seen many things that defied understanding or explanations. No doubt this was one of them.

Giles continued to stare at Angel. "She, uh, came to me. Told me what happened to you… in Hell. She told me about your curse." He looked away quickly. "Willow confirmed that you were back. She mentioned Xander." The watcher turned back around, his eyes narrowed as he stared hard at Angel. "Is he here? He didn't show up at school today. Willow said he left in the middle of the night. She thought he might have come here."

Angel tilted his head towards the hall. "He's asleep."

Giles looked toward where the vampire had motioned and then back again. When Angel nodded once, he moved towards the hallway. The first door on the left side of the hallway was closed but he noticed another door a few feet farther down was opened a crack. He moved towards it and pushed it opened gently, peering inside.

Xander lay across the bed, his body sprawled across the wide mattress. The sheets were bunched up by his feet, and he was only wearing a pair of sweat pants that looked a bit too big for him. He guessed they were Angel's. The boy's face was turned away from the doorway, facing a heavily draped window, but even from his vantagepoint, Giles could see a thin layer of sweat covering the boy's body. His hair looked damp, either from sweat, or from a shower he might have taken earlier.

Convinced that Xander was okay physically, Giles shut the door and returned to the living room, where Angel was now seated on the couch.

"How is he?" Giles asked quietly, returning his gaze to the fireplace. He was still having trouble looking at the vampire, after everything that had happened.

"How does he look?" Angel countered, wary of what Giles may or may not think about Xander's presence in the mansion.

"Tired." Giles answered honestly. "Like he needs someone to take care of him." He turned and forced himself to face the vampire. "Like he's safe."

Angel looked up, his dark eyes meeting Giles, an entire conversation taking place in a single beat of Giles' heart. "He is."

Giles nodded once, sharply and looked away, toward the front door. "You'll be leaving soon."

It was a statement, not a question. Angel recognized this but answered anyway. "Yes."

"You'll be taking him with you."

This also was a statement.

"That's up to him." Angel replied, knowing that it was probably true.

"You'll be taking him with you." Giles reiterated.

Angel stood up and faced the Watcher. Their eyes locked and Angel could see the certainly in Giles' eyes. "Yes."

Giles moved towards the door, opened it and stopped, turning back to the vampire. "He's like the son I never had. Take care of him."

Before Angel could even utter a word, reassurance, or a promise of any kind, the watcher was gone.

*~*~*~*

Xander thrashed violently on the bed, his head filled with images, and the sounds and smells to go with them.

He sat straight up, gasping for breath.

The pictures inside his head were becoming clear, rearranging themselves into a more cognizant image.

He didn’t know what this new dream was about, if it even was a dream. He only knew that it was telling him something that he needed to know. If he could only figure out what.

Climbing off of the bed, Xander made his way towards the door but stopped when he heard voices.

Giles.

He was talking to Angel. Xander couldn’t quite make out the words, but he could tell by the tone that whatever they were discussing was serious. Not that that was surprising. Angel and Giles had history, and not a good one.

He sat back on the bed, deciding to wait until the watcher was gone. He didn’t know if Giles knew that he was there, and wasn’t really in the right frame of mind to explain it, if he even could.

Before he even realized it, he was asleep again.

*~*~*~*

Night had fallen as Angel tried to make sense of the watcher’s visit. He felt more than heard Xander wake up. A few minutes later, he heard Xander move down the hall.

"Giles was here." Angel said from in front of the glass door leading to the garden.

"I know. Xander stepped further into the room. "Did you tell him I was here?"

"He already knew."

"How?" Xander asked, confused. "Did Willow tell him? I left her place last night in a hurry."

Angel turned and looked across the room at Xander. "He said…Jenny came to see him."

Xander blinked, as if that statement actually made sense. "Did you tell him we were leaving?"

Angel stared oddly at the boy. "You don’t find that in the least bit…disturbing that Jenny…a woman *I* killed came to him…"

Xander cut him off. "Does it matter?" He asked tiredly. "It happened a long time ago. I don’t know what you want me to say."

"What’s wrong?" Angel asked, walking across the room, looking closely at Xander for the first time.

"I had a dream…sort of." Xander sighed heavily and moved past Angel to step into the garden.

"Another one?" Angel followed him outside. "Was it like the others?"

"No. Xander turned away, looking up into the star-filled sky. "I think it was trying to tell me something, but I’m not sure what."

"What was it?"

"There were people…lots of people. Dying and hurt. They needed help." He turned to face Angel again, his eyes locking onto the vampire’s. "I think we’re supposed to help them."

"How?"

"I don’t know!"

"Okay." Angel reached out and pulled Xander to him.

"I think we’re supposed to go to L.A."

"Los Angeles?" Angel asked.

"Yeah."

"What makes you think so?"

"Just something I saw." Xander mumbled into Angel’s chest, not wanting to get into the details of the dream, or vision, or whatever it was.

"All right. Los Angeles it is." Angel rubbed a hand over Xander’s back, feeling the mortal’s muscles relax. "When?"

"Soon. I want to say goodbye to Willow and Faith…and Giles. Then we can go."

"Okay."

*~*~*~*

Willow and Faith were just finishing up their patrol route when they turned down Crawford Street.

"You think they’re here?"

"Fang is." Faith answered.

Willow nodded and stepped forward to knock on the door. She hesitated a second and Faith grabbed her other hand. Willow smiled and knocked.

After a few minutes, the heavy door swung open.

"Faith? Willow? What are you doing here? Is something wrong?"

Willow smiled. "No. We just wanted to say goodbye. Can we come in?"

Xander blinked. "What, does everybody know we’re leaving?" He stepped aside to let the girls in.

Faith looked around the large, mostly empty room.

"Nice digs, Fang."

Xander smiled and shrugged in Angel’s direction. "Angel, this is Faith. Faith, Angel."

The vampire and Slayer eyed each other warily for a second before Faith stepped forward with a grin and held out a hand. "Anyone good enough for Xan is cool with me."

Angel smiled slightly at the Slayer. He’d watched her from a distance for a while before Xander had found him, and he found her entertaining, at the very least. He turned to Willow. "How are you?"

"Good." She smiled at him, coming closer to give him a hug.

"You gonna be okay?" He asked seriously, suddenly feeling bad about leaving her behind.

"Five by five." Faith answered for them both, reaching out for Willow’s hand.

Angel raised an eyebrow as the girls held hands. Xander grinned. "Good."

Willow released Faith’s hand and walked over to Xander. "You sure you’re going to be okay?"

Xander nodded. "Yeah. Come on." He took her hand and brought out to the garden, leaving Faith and Angel alone.

*~*~*~*

"So, you’re him." Faith said watching Angel. The vampire’s eyes had followed Xander outside. When Faith spoke he turned to look at her.

"I’m him." He acknowledged.

"I have to say you’re not quite what I expected."

"What did you expect?" He asked, curiously.

Faith shrugged. "A brooding, Slayer obsessed vamp." She shook her head. "And here you are, not brooding, and apparently not Slayer obsessed. Seems I heard wrong."

"Maybe. Depends on who you heard it from."

"Fair enough." Faith nodded. "So what about my predecessor?"

Angel arched a brow. "What about her?"

Faith stepped closer to the vampire, unapologetically invading his personal space.

"What happens when Buffy blows back into your life? Where does that leave Xan?"

*~*~*~*

"You think they’ll be all right…alone?" Willow asked nervously, looking through the glass door into the house.

Xander chuckled. "They’ll be fine. He doesn’t bite…much."

Willow turned back to her best friend. "Are you sure about this? Going off to wherever with Angel? I know that your relationship was never what it seemed like, but this…"

"I know, Wills." Xander squeezed her hand. "I can’t explain it, I just *know* that this is what I’m supposed to be doing." He frowned, realizing something. "How’d you know… about us leaving, I mean?"

Willow grinned. "Giles. He came back to the library before patrol and said he’d seen Angel. He, uh…seemed okay. He told us that you would be leaving soon. Both of you. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I think he’s kind of relieved."

"Glad to be rid of me, huh?" Xander grinned slightly, knowing that wasn’t what she meant, but saying it anyway.

"Xander, you know that isn’t it. It’s just… well, Angel…"

"I know." Xander shrugged. "Things are pretty weird, but, I think we’re doing the right thing, for all of us."

Willow nodded. She did understand. "Okay. But you promise to call me." Willow turned to face him, her _expression serious.

"I promise." He hugged her. "Now, tell me about you and Faith."

*~*~*~*

Angel wanted to tell this girl where she could take her questions, but he knew that she was only concerned for Xander, and considering the history, he couldn’t blame her.

"It doesn’t *leave* him anywhere." He looked out the window again, and seeing that Xander and Willow were still talking, he turned back to face Faith. "I won’t hurt him."

"Do you love him?"

"Do you love Willow?" Angel countered.

"Yes." Faith answered unhesitatingly and arched an eyebrow.

"Yes." Angel admitted, "But…"

"You haven’t said anything." She nodded. "Be careful." She turned to look out the window, watching Willow and Xander, their heads close together as they spoke. "He doesn’t trust people easily. I’m surprised that he’s taking this risk, even considering…"

"Considering what?"

"Red told me that you and Xan have history. That there was always something more going on that it seemed. But Xan, he’s got wounds, huge gaping ones, and scars, deep ones. Both the kind you can see, and the kind you can‘t" She turned back to the vampire, her dark eyes staring into Angel’s. "If he believes you, trusts you, that’s good enough for me, but if you hurt him… you’ll be dust. I don’t miss, and I don’t care who you are, who you were, or who you’ll be. Do we understand each other?"

Angel stared steadily at the Slayer. "Yes, I believe we do."

Faith grinned. "Good."

*~*~*~*

Willow looked through the glass. "I think my girlfriend has sufficiently threatened your boyfriend. Shall we go back inside?"

Xander smiled slightly. "We aren’t… we don’t have that kind of relationship."

Willow frowned. "You don’t? I thought you…"

"I do, Wills, but Angel. Well, it’s just an ends to a means for him. We’re connected somehow, and he’s sort of stuck with me. That’s all."

Willow looked skeptical. "I think you’re wrong."

Xander shrugged. "Whatever." He moved towards to door, not wanting to get stuck on the receiving end of one of Willow’s patented ’I-know-best-so-you-better-pay-attention’ lectures.

They walked back inside and Xander observed that both Angel and Faith seemed satisfied with whatever they had discussed.

"Hey. Miss me?" Willow asked, joining Faith on the couch.

Faith winked. "You bet." She stood up. "Fang here was just telling me all sorts of stories. Something about you and a ghost costume?"

Willow blushed. "Yeah well, it wasn’t just me. Xan was a soldier." She turned to Angel. "You remember that too?"

Angel turned to look at Xander, something indefinable passing between them. "Definitely."

Xander looked away. "Okay, party’s over. Tell the G-man I’ll be by tomorrow. Cordy too."

"Okay." Willow stood up, hugged both Xander and Angel one more time. "Don’t forget to keep in touch. Take care of each other."

Angel nodded as Xander walked them to the door. When he returned Angel was watching him, his face expressionless.

"What is it? Did she upset you?" Xander asked warily.

"No." Angel stepped closer to Xander. "You’re wrong though."

"About what?"

"What you were telling Willow."

Xander swallowed thickly. "You were listening?" He asked as he stepped out of the vampire’s reach.

"No, but I was watching. I saw the look on your face. Whatever you’re thinking, Xander Harris, you’re wrong."

Xander looked up defiantly, on safer ground knowing Angel didn’t actually *hear* anything. "Am I?"

"Yes." Angel closed the distance between them. "I know you don’t believe me…yet, but you will."

He closed his lips over Xander's, halting any further comments.

*~*~*~*

The next day found Xander standing in front of the double doors leading to the library

He took a deep breath before pushing the doors open and stepping inside.

"Hey." He smiled as he entered the room, hoping he didn’t look as nervous as he felt.

"Xander." Giles stepped out of his office, cleaning his glasses. "It’s good to see you."

"Yeah, boinking the undead agrees with you." Cordelia grinned from her spot at one of the tables.

Xander blushed slightly. "Cordy!"

His ex-girlfriend laughed as Giles cleared his throat. "Just kidding. Although you do look good."

"Thanks." Xander mumbled as he came and sat on the edge of her table. "Where’s Wills?"

"Her and the little woman went out." Cordelia grinned again, clearly enjoying making Giles uncomfortable.

"Out where?" Xander frowned, ignoring Cordelia’s comment. He was hoping to see Willow and Faith again before he left.

"A body was discovered near Pontego, out by Miller’s pond. They went to check it out." Giles answered, glad to have something to contribute that *didn’t* have to do with either Willow or Xander’s probable romantic entanglements.

"Oh." Xander sighed. "Will they be back soon? I was hoping to say goodbye."

"So, it’s really true?" Cordelia asked seriously, almost surprised. "Angel’s really back…the cuddly version? And you’re really leaving…together?"

Xander looked up a Giles and was relieved when the watcher smiled at him in understanding.

"I’ve got a meeting." He moved towards the door. "You’ll still be here…for…" Giles hesitated.

Xander nodded. "Yeah, G-man. I’ll wait."

Giles nodded his thanks, ignoring Xander’s hated nickname and left the library.

Xander turned back to Cordelia. "Yeah, Angel’s back and he’s…Angel again…permanently."

Cordelia sighed in relief. "Good."

"About which?" Xander raised an eyebrow.

Cordelia stared at her ex-boyfriend seriously. "I’m glad he came back, and I’m glad everything worked out." She smiled a little sadly. "You deserve some happiness. Both of you."

Xander didn’t know what to say to that. He wasn’t really sure what to expect from Cordelia. They were friends. Close friends, but he hadn’t seen or heard from her since Angel’s return. It had only been a couple of days, but seemed like much more. Xander wasn’t sure how she’d react. This wasn’t exactly what he was expecting.

"You don’t really seem surprised." Xander noted, unconsciously echoing Angel’s words of a few days ago.

Cordelia shrugged. "I’m not. I guess I always knew there was more going on between you and the undead hottie."

"Cordy, we were never…well anything." Xander protested.

"Maybe not." Cordelia allowed. "But you were never what you pretended either."

"And what as that?" Xander asked slowly.

"Enemies." She smiled again. "I know you took it hard, when he…went away."

Xander sighed. "It’s complicated."

Cordelia snorted. "I’m sure." She held up a manicured hand to stop Xander‘s protest. "I don’t want to know. You and I both know that what happened before, with us, well it wasn‘t anything." Cordelia said, unaware how her current words resembled the ones Xander had tried to utter to Willow the night before.

She was unaware that the similarities made Xander realize that maybe Willow was right. Maybe he was wrong. The weirdness with Angel wasn’t anything like joke of a relationship he and Cordelia had pretended to have.

Cordelia smiled as she stood up and walked around the table to give Xander a hug. "Just take care of yourself."

Xander returned the hug and smiled back, relieved that she seemed to be taking everything so well. "You too, Cor."

She walked away, leaving Xander alone with his thoughts.

He was glad Cordelia hadn’t wanted any sort of explanation because he wasn’t certain he could have given her one.

She was right when she said that he and Angel had never been enemies. He knew it was true, and was suddenly realizing it was the only person that was just discovering that fact.

Neither Cordelia nor Willow had seemed very surprised by this latest turn of events, and Giles didn’t seem terribly upset either. What exactly did that mean?

Xander could now recognize that what he felt wasn’t hatred for Angel, or anger that the vampire had something he wanted, the way some people thought. It was more frustration.

Frustration that no one else seemed to *see* that Angel was a killer. He was a demon. No amount of soul restoration could change that.

The first time Xander had seen Angel had been from a distance, and although the most noticeable thing about him at the time has been the fact that he was all that Buffy said he was, physically. And although at the time they didn’t know he was a vampire, Xander could remember feeling something off about him, something dangerous.

Later, after Darla was killed and Angel’s true nature was revealed, Xander knew where that feeling of danger came from.

The first time they’d ever been alone together, Xander looked at Angel, and tried to see this poor, harmless, guilt-ridden puppy Buffy tried to present.

He didn’t see it.

What he did see what a man capable of great violence. A man who may have remorse for his past, but who was still capable of doing harm, when it was necessary.

He saw a darkness there, in his eyes. A darkness he recognized, not in vampires, or demons, but in real people.

Maybe it was Xander’s first hand knowledge of the evil in man that made him realize that a soul wasn’t automatically systematic of being good. Maybe he was just paranoid.

He had never truly been afraid of Angel, not for himself, but he was *aware* that things weren’t as black and white as everyone wanted to believe.

Even now, when his own life had taken an even bigger detour into the bizarre, Xander knew that things weren’t as simple as they might seem, no matter how well everyone was taking things.

He did know that there had always been something between them. Not necessarily something good, but something. And now that something had taken on a life of its own.

Xander knew exactly what it was Angel was trying to tell him the night before. He knew what Angel wanted him to believe. He even believed that Angel believed it himself.

Xander wanted to believe Angel, to trust him and what he said, but his life, his experience had taught him that trust and faith were things you couldn’t believe in.

His friendship with Willow was the only exception.

*~*~*~*

"Xander. Good, you’re still here." Giles said as he came back into the library, pulling Xander out of his internal thoughts.

"I said I wait." Xander shrugged as Giles lugged a couple of heavy books onto an empty table.

"Good." Giles said again, looking around the room as if he expected someone else to be there.

"Cordy left." Xander offered, assuming that’s who the watcher was looking for.

"I know. I saw her in the parking lot."

"Angel isn’t coming." Xander stated quietly, realizing the vampire was the only person Giles could be searching for.

"Ah." Giles visibly relaxed.

"He, uh… he’s better."

"I know." Giles smiled softly. "I do realize that, but sometimes…" He trailed off, not sure what he was trying to say.

"Sometimes you can’t forget." Stepped closer to the older man. "You remember who he was, before… how he helped us all. Then you remember what he did, after… to Jenny, to you, and you have trouble reconciling the two."

Giles smiled fondly again at the young man, realizing how much more there was to Xander than they often gave him credit for. There was a lot more to him than was readily apparent.

"You don’t, do you? You never did" Giles smoke quietly, with certainty, understanding something about the Xander-Angel dynamic that he never had before.

"That’s why you hated him so much. It wasn’t him you hated, but the rest of us. They way we couldn’t…see."

Xander frowned, not completely sure what Giles was getting at, but recognizing something in the words, so close to his own thoughts earlier.

"Buffy was so devastated by what happened, trying to find some sign of Angel in Angelus. We *all* were we used to Angel the vampire with the soul, helping us, we forgot who and what he really was. All, except you."

Xander blinked, surprised that Giles was even willing to discuss Angel, at all. "How… how do you come to that conclusion?"

"Xander." Giles looked closely at the boy, his eyes serious. "Buffy kept looking for Angel in Angelus. What she didn’t realize was that Angelus didn’t replace Angel. They’d both been there all along. You understood that. You weren’t looking for the man, the friend, we’d lost because you’d always seen the demon as well as the man." Giles stepped back a little. "You weren’t shocked by what he became."

Xander thought about what it was Giles was trying to say to him, inadvertently giving voice to his own thoughts.

Xander had looked at Angel that night, in the vampire’s apartment; the night that the Master had killed Buffy, albeit briefly, and had seen not only the souled, guilty creature Buffy wanted to see, but also the killer he could still be.

"Maybe." Xander spoke finally. "But he did change. When he lost his soul again he wasn’t just a vampire, a souless creature. He was worse. I never saw that that. I would have said something, tried to… I don’t know, do something."

"Would we have listened?" Giles asked honestly, trying to get Xander to see the truth. "When Jenny came to see me…. She told me that the wrong per people had done had been fixed. Maybe it was the curse that changed him; maybe it was the clause that made it worse." Giles offered, truly believing it was possible, and not wanting Xander to think that he really could have changed things.

"I guess we’ll never know." Xander shook his head, and looked around the room for what would probably be the last time. "I’m gonna miss you, G-man."

Giles groaned half-heartedly, glad that the serious part of the conversation seemed to have passed. "Must you call me that?"

Xander grinned.

"Knock knock." Willow poked her head in the door. "We interrupting?"

"No of course not. Come in." Giles turned to the two girls as the entered the library. "What did you find?"

Faith hopped onto a nearby table and began filling Giles in while Xander tried to drift unobtrusively towards the door. He was glad things seemed to be business as usual. It meant everything was going to be okay. His friends would be okay.

He’d actually managed to make it into the hall before Willow stopped him from going any further.

"Not so fast, buster."

Xander froze and turned around.

"Sneaking away?"

Xander shrugged. "I hate sappy good-byes." He said as if he actually had any experience with such a thing. "Besides, I should probably go." He looked down the hall and saw the waning sun through the window on the door. "Angel wants to leave just after sunset."

Willow hugged Xander tightly. "Don’t be a stranger." She whispered.

"I won’t." Xander hugged her back briefly before pulling away and moving reluctantly towards the outside.

"Take care of yourself…and Faith." He told her seriously.

"We’ll take care of each other." Willow smiled. "And Xander?"

Xander stopped in front of the door. "Yeah?"

"Give Angel a chance."

"I will." Xander told her honestly, knowing he would.

He opened the doors and turned to see her one last time. "I love you."

Willow waited until the doors had shut behind Xander before speaking. "I love you too."

*~*~*~*

Xander leaned heavily against a tree halfway between the school and the Crawford Street mansion.

Saying goodbye to his friends had taken more out of him than he expected. He had never really thought much about leaving Sunnydale, and just living his life. He’d never thought about leaving Willow behind.

A part of him was sorry that they seemed to have grown up enough to be able to do it, but another part realized that this, whatever it really was, was right.

Willow belonged in Sunnydale, with Faith. Maybe they wouldn’t always be there, but for now, that’s where she belonged.

And he belonged with Angel, wherever that happened to be, doing whatever it was they were supposed to be doing.

He was still confused, and unsure about a lot of things, but that much he knew.

Taking a deep breath, Xander moved away from the tree and continued walking.

When he got to the mansion, Angel was just putting an ice cooler in the back seat of a convertible.

"Nice wheels." Xander looked inside the car and noticed that aside from the cooler, the car was empty. No bags, or luggage of any kind."

"I don’t have much of…anything." Angel said noticing Xander’s puzzled expression.

"What’s in the cooler?"

"Soda and a couple of sandwiches I had delivered from the deli on Roberts and…"

"And blood." Xander nodded his head. "You’ve thought of everything, Deadboy." Xander grinned. "You ready?"

"You want to stop by your house and get anything? Say goodbye to your parents?"

Xander stiffened slightly. "No. Let’s just go."

"Okay." Angel said, not entirely surprised. "Let’s go."

Angel climbed in the car and started the engine. "Do you know where in Los Angeles we’re supposed to go?"

Xander shrugged as he shut his own door. "Not really. I didn’t recognize anything, but then I’ve never actually been to Los Angeles."

"I have." Angel drove down Crawford Street. "What did you see… aside from the people?"

Xander sighed, trying to recall anything specific that would be of use. "There was a building… a hotel I think."

"You remember what it was called?"

"The… H…something."

"The Hyperion?" Angel asked, frozen for a second, not believing out of all the hotels in Los Angeles, that's the one Xander saw.

"Yeah, I think so. You know it?"

"I did." Angel answered as he drove the car out of Sunnydale.

*~*~*~*

The End