"Oh I come from a land, from a faraway place, where the caravan camels roam..."

Dude, weird.

"Where they cut off your ear if they don't like your face. It's barbaric, but hey, it's home!.."

Why did I even bother taking this job?!

"When the wind's from the East, and the sun's from the West, and the sand in the glass is right! Come on down, stop on by, hop a carpet and fly..."

Oh shit here it comes!

"To another Arabian night!"

I want my mommy.

"ARABIAN NIGHTS!!! Like Arabian days! More often than not are hotter than hot in a lot of good ways!!" The other Maguanacs started dancing to the music.

That shit is just fucked up right there.

"Arabian nights! 'Neath Arabian moons! A fool off his guard could fall and fall hard out there on the dunes."

I'm getting the hell out of here.

*POOF*

The scene changes to that of Quatre's castle. A welcome site to a narrator that just saw a Maguanac karaoke show. Ew. I liked last time's opening better.

Satoshi, Quatre, Heero, and Duo were sitting at the table. Shigeru was taking a shower.

Hey!!! I wanna see!!! Will you guys hold on a bit? I wanna see this. ACK!!! How many times have I told you?! PUT THE CHAIR DOWN!!! Thank you.

Satoshi was eating some pocky. Heero was contemplating his breakfast food self-destruct device ... naked. He has to be naked because he's the naked guy in this series. Don't look at me like that. I know you're probably enjoying it! Quatre was eating walnuts. He was smashing the shells open with his scepter. Duo was depressed.

Somehow I get the feeling a good percentage of the readers don't think this is funny anymore.

Duo sighed. "Why?"

"Why what?" Satoshi asked.

"Why did Wufei leave me for that...that...girl! I am so much hotter than she is! And I probably suck his-"

Duo?

Duo looked up at the narrator. "Hmm?"

We don't want to hear about that. That's just gross.

"Fine." Duo sneered.

Ugh, I hate that word. Sneered. Sneered? Sneered!! Ick, it's just repulsive.

Anyways, to clear up this whole matter, Wufei had suddenly fallen in love with this woman he met, Meiran. He left Duo instantly, and Duo is depressed now.

Heero grabbed some pocky and stuck it in his mouth. "And b'sides Duom, yer prob'ly b'tter th'n she ith anywuh."

Note that Heero was talking with the pocky in his mouth. I know he doesn't normally talk that way. We now return to our normally scheduled fairy tale.

Duo sighed again. "I know, but I love him so much!"

Before he could say anything further, Shigeru ran into the room screaming. Soaking wet and without any clothes on, to the joy of the hentais and the narrator.

TODD!!!

Shigeru looked around frantically. He didn't want Todd to catch him in all his nude glory. Satoshi was ready to kill the narrator. Luckily, Todd was on call taking pictures of Pokemon somewhere.

Damnit.

"Shigeru what's wrong?" Quatre asked his friend.

"I saw...."

"What did you see Shigeru?" Heero questioned.

"It was...oh my God. Something evil has taken control of Wufei!" Shigeru said.

"I knew it!" Duo yelled.

"I'll have to stop it!" Quatre exclaimed, "Do you know what it is?"

Shigeru put his fingers to his temples and thought. The narrator was bribing Heero to get him to pull a camera out of Spandex Space. Satoshi was mumbling something about stupid narrators and Shigeru.

Alas, it was all for naught. No one would take nude pictures of Shigeru for the narrator.

Shigeru looked at the narrator funny. "Will you stop that?"

Stop what?

"Talking about me naked. I thought Heero was the naked one in the fairy tales. That /was/ the running gag, wasn't it?"

It was in the first one, and seeped into the second one. The Somewhere, something happened joke was the gag in the second for the most part.

Shigeru looked at the narrator pleadingly. "Don't make my nudity the gag in this fairy tale!" He said softly, and somewhat flirtatiously.

I uhh....errrr...ummm....

Shigeru made his eyes all big and puffy. "Please?"

Kawaii!!! Okay then! You don't have to stay naked throughout the fic.

Heero looked at the narrator. "You're drooling."

Oh, um, sorry.

Quatre sighed. "Can we get on with the story?"

Shigeru rubbed his temples again. "This evil is very powerful, but it has a weakness."

"What is it?!" Duo asked.

"She likes to sing, but has no talent whatsoever."

Sing Kitto OK Duo!! Please!!!

"Naw!" Duo replied, "I ordered a Karaoke machine. It should be coming soon."

"I wanna sing karaoke!" Quatre chimed.

I wanna sing karaoke too!

"You talk too much as it is," Satoshi replied.

I can always bring Misty back.

Satoshi whimpered.

That's better.

Suddenly, the guys heard a noise coming from outside. The Maguanacs had arrived. And they were still having fun with Duo's karaoke machine.

"Make way for Prince Quatre!" they chorused. Quatre squeaked and disappeared. Duo blinked. Heero stopped eating his pocky. Satoshi froze. The narrator whined. Shigeru put on a robe.

Damnit.

"Say Hey! It's Prince Quatre!"

Satoshi ran up to the balcony to see what the hell was going on. The Maguanacs were parading down the nearby town's main road, parodying another song from Aladdin. Rashid was leading.

"Hey! Clear the way in the old Bazaar! Hey you! Let us through! It's a bright new star! Oh come! Be the first on your block to meet his eye!" Rashid sang.

Why me?

"Hey we're hearing it too!" Satoshi snapped.

"That's my karaoke machine!" Duo wailed.

"That's my Quatre!" Heero added, pointing to the figure on the mobile suit.

Abdul adjusted his sunglasses a bit and took over. "Make way! Here he comes! Ring bells! Bang the drums! Are you gonna love this guy!"

Auda gripped his microphone and sang. "Prince Quatre! Mighty Quatre! Quatre Raberba! Genuflect! Show some respect down on one knee! Now try your best to stay calm! Brush up your Sunday salaam! Then come and meet his spectacular coterie!"

"Prince Quatre! Mighty Quatre! Quatre Raberba! The best Gundam Pilot definitely! He faced the war-crazy whores-"

I know this is a parody but that is a definite fuck-up. The whole thing is really.

"Thousands of Oz guys with uhh... Beam sabers! Who sent those dorks to their lords? Why Prince Quatre!"

Ahmed took his turn. "He's got seventy-five golden Gundams! Purple vests? He's got fifty-three!"

"I do not!" Quatre replied.

"When it comes to exotic type mammals! Has he got a zoo? I'm telling you, it's a world class menagerie!"

This time all the Maguanacs sang various choruses mixed together.

"Prince Quatre! Handsome Quatre! Quatre Raberba!"

"There's no question this Quatre's alluring!"

"That physique! How can I speak?"

"He's a pip-squeak!" Shigeru said. Heero glared at him.

"Never ordinary, never boring!"

"Weak at the knee."

"Everything about the man just plain impresses."

"Well, get on out in that square."

"He's a Winner, he's a whiz, he's a wonder!"

"Adjust your veil and prepare!"

"He's about to pull my heart asunder!"

"To gawk and grovel and stare at Prince Quatre!"

"And I absolutely love the way he dresses!"

Big massive sweatdrop.

"He's got ninety-five white Persian monkeys!"

"I do?" Quatre asked.

"He's got the monkeys, let see the monkeys!"

"How can you see something I don't have?"

"And to view them he charges no fee!"

"He's generous, so generous!"

"He's got slaves, he's got servants and flunkies."

"Proud to work for him."

"They bow to his whim, love serving him!"

"They're just lousy with loyalty!"

"To Quatre!" They sang together.

Shigeru, Satoshi, Heero, and Duo exchanged weary looks as the Maguanac parade neared the castle.

"Prince Quatre!"

The Maguanacs burst through the door, still singing and leading their parade. Quatre was completely mortified.

"Prince Quatre! Amorous Quatre! Quatre Raberba!"

Rashid sang to the guys. "Heard that Heero was a sight with nudity! And that good people, is why, we got dalled up and dropped by!"

Heero turned blue. "Really?"

Quatre turned green. "EWWWW!!!"

Duo yelped. " But my karaoke machine!"

The Maguanacs began to sing the ending.

Thank God.

"With sixty elephants, llamas galore, with his bears and lions a brass band and more! With his forty fakirs, his cooks and bakers. His birds that warble on key! Make way... for PRINCE QUATRE!!!!!"

Thank God, it's over.

Quatre fainted. Heero caught him. Satoshi and Shigeru were holding onto eachother for dear life. Duo pouted.

"Here you are sir! One Sony Karaoke Machine!" Rashid said to Duo, extending his hand. "Pay up."

Duo glared at Rashid. "Pay up!? You used my karaoke machine! Parading down the streets spoofing Disney no less!! I could be sued!"

Rashid sweatdropped.

"I wont pay you! However," Duo reached into his pocket and pulled something out. "I'll give you tickets to my karaoke show tonight."

Sinister evil feminine laughter was heard. The narrator was prepared to attack Dorothy at any waking moment.

Shigeru looked up at the narrator. "We killed Dorothy in the last one, remember?"

I know, but her eyebrows could've brought her back to life.

Everyone sweatdropped.

"Relax, I am not Dorothy. I am Meiran, wife of Wufei!" Meiran appeared in front of everyone.

Duo flinched. "You lie!! Wufei is mine!"

"Not anymore, hon. He went back to being straight."

"No way! He is mine bitch!"

"Have fun on your trip to Egypt cause I know you're in De Nile!" Meiran laughed.

Duo looked at his brand new Karaoke machine and grinned. "I challenge you to a karaoke tournament!"

Meiran's eyes widened with glee. "I accept your offer! I love karaoke!"

"Then I'll see you at eight?" Duo grinned.

"Deal! Prepare to lose braid boy!" Meiran said as she disappeared.

Duo laughed.

"How do you plan to win Duo-kun?" Satoshi asked.

"I've got a good performance plan already. If that doesn't work, I'll get my powers back from Quatre."

"Nani?" Everyone asked.

"You didn't realize?! I'm a mazoku. Someone fought me and trapped me in Quatre's scepter, and used my magic to power it up so that Sailor Sandrock could use it. Quatre let me out, but somehow left my powers inside. I want them back, ya know." Duo said, "It'd be nice if I could have them back now. I have a friend I need to talk to." Duo winked at Quatre.

Quatre grabbed Heero's arm and dashed off, without saying a word.

Duo shrugged. "Oh well, my friend can wait."

This friend wouldn't happen to be Rowen Hashiba would it?

"No! You'd like this friend. He's tricky and hilarious. He reminds of you and how you bug us all the time."

I'll be nice and take that as a compliment.

"Well, I need to get my performance ready. See ya later!" Duo walked off.

Satoshi and Shigeru shrugged and went of to think of what could've happened to Trowa and Kenji.

**Later**

The karaoke room in Quatre's house was full with various spectators and the Maguanacs. Our main characters were all here too, except for Trowa and Kenji. They were still off somewhere. The Maguanacs had signed up to sing karaoke too. I know you all don't want that. Neither do I.

Luckily, I get to run the tournament! Muwha!

Satoshi and Shigeru were making out in a corner. Quatre was sitting on Heero's lap, feeding him cherries and whipped cream. Because of this, Heero was VERY glad that he was wearing clothes. Otherwise he would've jumped the blond right then and there. I was glad too, because Quatre would make me write that lemon.

"You should!" Quatre exclaimed.

Damnit.

Anyways, it's time for the competition to begin! Meiran has arrived, and Duo is all set and ready to go. Meiran dragged Wufei to one of the tables.

Wufei had become a lovesick doofus. He wasn't ranting about anything, and he hadn't tried to sell Meiran to someone. Not only that, he hadn't said anything about Duo at all.

That was actually pretty shocking right there. But like I said, I need to get this thing going! First up is Duo, singing Nicole's 'Make it Hot'!

The lights dimmed down to near darkness. A shadow stood on the stage, and the music began to play. Duo, the guy on stage (duh), started shaking his hips in a hentai fashion.

"But uh, anyway, you can catch me anyday. Sippin' Hennessey and peeps get plenty-a. But anyways, to see that I hold this dough, cats fake it,"

A light flipped on to reveal Duo in a skintight black leather catsuit...

"I made it, I told you so,"

... handcuffs with a long chain....

"Mocha latte kid. We no play," He turned around and danced provocatively, taking a few glances at the audience, "Stress free, sexy at Montigo Bay."

....and the most devilishly evil grin on his face.

"You know it's a pity that y'all look like idiots," he gestured towards Meiran, "So Wu, let me know when I should rip this cat[suit]."

The intro ended, and the music began. Duo danced and sang along.

"I'm mad he don't call me anymore. We don't even kiss. Am I his fool?

What must I do to keep loving me," he shook his ass in Wufei's face, "All this love I give..."

Wufei still had that stupid gaga doofus look on his face.

Duo shrugged, "That ain't cool."

"I got what you want [got what you want]. Got what ya need [I got what you need]. Can I get another shot? This time I'ma make ya hot." Another devilish grin.

Well hey, that's not as bad as the Maguanacs singing Aladdin. This dance is pretty good actually.

Duo pulled a cell phone out of nowhere. "Call while I'm at the crib. He turned off his phone. Said to call him back." Duo tossed the phone aside.

"Why silly me. Why didn't I suspect he was making love to someone else?"

The phone hit Meiran upside the head. Wufei still had that stupid look on his face.

I'm waiting for him to just say "DER!"

Duo turned away and danced to the other side of the stage. "Boy your killing me."

The chorus repeated and there was a rap that has absolutely nothing to do with the subject.

Duo stopped in his tracks. "Well, aren't you going to write the rest of the song out at least?!"

Look, it's totally irrelevant. If things go the way I planned, then the readers can download a .zip file with the songs on it and they can listen for themselves. I've got a fic to finish! And besides, I don't feel like writing the rest of it out.

"But you did it for the Maguanacs!" Duo pointed at the offending group.

The rest of their song had a point!

"It was totally irrelevant to the situation! How could you let them use my karaoke machine?!"

Don't tell me you have the tolerance to try and bug the Maguanacs when they're singing karaoke. I was scared. That wasn't funny.

Duo frowned. Hentais and Duo fans (not to mention a large portion of the audience) jeered and booed as Duo took a seat at the table with Heero, Quatre, Shigeru, and Satoshi. They wanted to see him dance more.

Hell, /I/ want to see him dance more.

Meiran took her spot on stage and started singing *N Sync's "It Makes Me Ill."

"I was hangin' with the fellas, saw you with your new boyfriend. It made me jealous." She glared at Duo. He glared right back. Meiran grinned.

That ain't shit compared to Duo's grin. I just thought I'd point that out.

"But it's all good cause I'm glad that I met him! Heh!"

NANI?!

There was a collective 'What the FUCK!?'

Meiran laughed. "'Cause now I know the competition's very slim to none. And I can tell by lookin' that he's not the one. He's not the type you said you liked. His style is whack, clothes are bad."

Everyone's jaw dropped at the comment, even further when everyone took a double take of that catsuit.

"Come on boy, let him go. I want you back. Call me a hater, if you want to."

Duo yelled out, "HATER!"

Collective sweatdrop.

"But I only hate on him cause I want you. Say I'm trippin' if you feel like."

Duo yelled again. "TRIPPIN'!"

"But you without me ain't right [ain't right]. You can say I'm crazy if you want to." Meiran threw a chair at Duo before he could answer.

"That's true- I'm crazy about you."

Wufei's look went from doofus to GAGA Droolness.

What do you mean, "What the hell does GAGA Droolness look like?"

Satoshi smirked. "Just think of the narrator this morning when Geru-chan was naked. It's that but more stupid looking."

That leaves me speechless.

Satoshi was then set on fire.

Don't look at me like that! It wasn't my fault! *innocent whistle*

There was much amusement from Satoshi running around on fire. Shigeru hosed him down.

Not THAT way you hentais. With a covenient hose that he found.

Meiran was getting angry. "Let me finish my song!"

No. Duo's karaoke was more interesting. Besides, he sang better.

Quatre pulled some cotton out of his ears. "You got that right."

Meiran dropped the mic. "I KNEW this would happen! That's why I cast a spell on Wufei! Ha!" She laughed maniacally.

Shigeru laughed. "That was obvious. Anyone other than the narrator that has the GAGA Droolness look on their face is probably not themselves."

What's that supposed to mean?!

Shigeru grinned. "Nothing."

Grr.....

Meiran was about to grab Wufei and take off when Quatre thwapped her upside the head with his scepter. Wufei finally became himself again. Duo glomped him. Meiran disappeared.

I guess that signifies the end is near.

THE-

"Wait!" Someone yelled. Everyone looked up.

The Gundams had shrunken themselves and were standing on stage. Heavyarms was standing in front of them all, holding the microphone.

"We have something we want to sing!"

Apparently Heavyarms is more vocal than it's owner.

"I'm a guy!" Heavyarms responded.

Well, it'd be nice to end this with a bang. No pun intended. Trowa's still not here.

"Cut the lights!" Sandrock yelled. Sandrock was female.

Scary. As promised, I turned the spotlights off. A new Gundam grabbed the mic. If you squinted just right, it looked like Deathscythe Hell.

"Riprock, AG. Come in over. Yo, turn me up. I wanna be heard. See, I'm talking about the future y'all, and the future looks bright. Especially when we rip this in half."

The lights flared on, and Heavyarms had the mic again. "Here it comes! Millennium! And everybody's talking 'bout Luxembourg! Is this the beginning or beginning of the end? Well I've got other thoughts my friend."

Sandrock joined in. "See I've got my eyes on the skies. The heavenly bodies up high. And if you really want to take a ride, then strap on a suit and get inside!

Heavyarms, Sandrock, Deathscythe and Wing Zero were singing the chorus. Epyon was whipping her whip around like a lasso. Altron-

"Nataku!" Wufei corrected.

Nataku was no where in sight. The Gundam pilot's eyes had widened considerably.

"If you wanna fly, come and take a ride. Take a space ride with the cowboys baby! If you wanna fly, come and take a ride. Take a space ride with the cowboys baby!"

Wing Zero and Epyon grinded against eachother provocatively. This scared people. They were having a wild time though. "Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yay! Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yo! Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yay! Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yo!"

Sandrock took the lead again. "We don't need all these prophecies! Tellin' us what's a sign!"

"What's a sign!" Heavyarms chorused in the background.

"Cause paranoia ain't the way to live your life from day to day so leave your doubts and your fears behind!"

Heavyarms joined in again. "Don't be afraid at all, cause up in outer space there's no gravity to fall. Put your mind and your body to the test."

Wing Zero and Epyon sang with that one. "Cause up in outer space is like the wild wild west!"

The chorus played again. The Gundams all sang, Wing Zero and Epyon grinded and made suggestive gestures towards Heero. Heero looked like he was going to either be sick or faint.

"If you wanna fly, come and take a ride. Take a space ride with the cowboy baby! If you wanna fly, come and take a ride. Take a space ride with the cowboys baby!"

"Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yay! Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yo! Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yay! Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yo!"

Deathscythe Hell said something I couldn't write down fast enough. Gomen.

Then Nataku jumped out and started rapping. Wing Zero and Epyon kept dancing together. Heero had since passed out.

"Boom and never let you try to stop. Born to fly sky high, up to the top see, nothing to fear! No doubts and no tears. MIllennium sound to motivate the future years and you can either be scared or get prepared. Against all odds I bet you never would've dared to make these moves and take flight like me to come through for the world prophecy. Space connect to overthrow your interception. Ready or not, make it hot, that ain't no question. Get *N Sync and put your head to the sky keep the faith. One love from Left Eye."

Wufei's eyes rolled back in his head and he hit the ground with a thus. Duo fell on top of him because he was still glomping the guy.

The Gundams, including Nataku this time, went into a rousing final rendition of the chorus.

"If you wanna fly, come and take a ride. Take a space ride with the cowboys baby! If you wanna fly, come and take a ride. Take a space ride with the cowboys baby! If you wanna fly, come and take a ride. Take a space ride with the cowboys baby! If you wanna fly, come and take a ride. Take a space ride with the cowboys baby!"

The final yippie-yi-yays slowed down considerably. The remaining Gunadm Pilots had all but had a heart attack.

"Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yay! Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yo! Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yay! Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yo!"

The spotlight dimmed, and all you could see was Deathscythe Hell holding the mic. "Riprock, AG. End the transmission. They've had enough."

All the lights went out and the Gundams left.

THE END.

Copyright Cola the Sapphire Goddess 2000