08-Oct-2000

Category: Shonen-ai, Romance
Rating: R (some citrus)
Pairings: 1+3/3+1, 4+5
Warnings: A touch of lemon towards end. Strong language.
Feedback: C&C
Notes: I wrote this as a sequel to Heero Worship. Many thought poor Duo got the short end of the stick, I tried writing this to address that, but as usual the story decided it needed to be told this way. Heero Worship was told from Quatre's POV. This story is from Trowa's POV.

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters belongs to Bandai, Sunrise and Sotsu Agency and are only being used for non profit entertainment purposes.

Setting Things Right by babaca

I love Quatre. I know I should be mortified at what he did. I know he feels this innate need to make me happy, but at what price? Sure, I'm happy. I think even Heero is happy. Or at least he seems to be. But now Duo is miserable. He's not talking to Quatre. He barely acknowledges me. He still thinks my relationship with Heero will end any day now. It's been three months.

I was afraid this would impede on our "working" relationship. So I've gotten very adept at conserving bullets. Lord knows I don't want to have to rely on Duo to save my bacon when he wants to burn it instead. However, it seems when we are up against OZ, Duo puts on his game face and does whatever needs to be done. Although I'm sure when he is demolishing OZ mobile suits, he's picturing Quatre or me in those suits instead.

I know we need to make things right with Duo. I'm just not sure how. We've tried being discreet. Heero and I maintain separate rooms. We try not to be too loud when we are together. Oddly enough, that is what's most difficult. Heero does things to me that makes me want to scream his name to the rooftops, but awaking up the whole house would be rude. We save letting truly go for times we know we are completely alone.

We don't flaunt our relationship at all to the others. Except for a few ecchi remarks from Quatre, (I swear he does that just to make me blush), no one wouldn't ever think there was anything going on. At least Quatre has the good taste not to joke when Duo is in the vicinity. Quatre and Duo are another problematic situation. Quatre keeps offering to make peace, but Duo will have nothing to do with it.

"What's wrong, Trowa?" Heero asked. "Or do I even have to ask?"

Heero has gotten very good at reading my moods and thoughts. He's even better than Quatre, but don't tell Quatre that.

"We need to do something for Duo, Heero," I sighed. "Do you miss him at all?" I know it's a loaded question. But it was not designed to force Heero into anything. I just wanted to know.

Heero stared at me. I could almost hear his internal debate on how to answer the question. "I guess I miss him sometimes."

I know if I continue to stare at him, he'll buckle.

"I've made my choice, Trowa," he said as he took my hand. Any time he touches me, I almost lose all reason. I guess we all have our tricks. "Ai shiteru."

"I love you too Heero, but we still need to make this easier for Duo somehow."

"What more can we do? We sleep most times in separate rooms. No one has ever witnessed us doing anything beyond looking at each other..." Heero argued.

"Yes, but as a person who has been on the other side of that looking glass, I know it hurts anyway," I shrugged. "Do you ever regret how we got together?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well much of this had to do with Quatre's planning. I could have stopped it, but I didn't. You were manipulated. Does that bother you?" I asked. I needed to know. Call me a masochist, everyone else does.

"Trowa, life is nothing but a series of manipulations. We were manipulated into becoming pilots. We are manipulated constantly in this war. We are all pawns," Heero said reasonably.

How romantic. "Heero, we do have the right to choose not to be manipulated. What you say is true, but when it comes to personal happiness, one shouldn't have to be manipulated into being happy."

He kissed my palm. Damn, it's hard to concentrate when he does things like that. I'm sure he sees the flush on my face. I licked my lips and he leaned in for a kiss when ...

Ah you got it. Knock on the door. Bet you can also guess who was on the other side of that door. I tried reigning in my hormones and decided to sit at Heero's desk. Heero remained on the bed and said, "Enter."

Duo walked in, "Hey what took you so long? Oh." He scowled at me. "I need to know if you heard of any missions."

"No. It's been quiet for the past few days," Heero said.

"Okay," Duo said as he started to leave.

"Can we talk to you for a moment Duo?" I asked. He pretended not to hear and closed the door.

I decided to follow Duo out. Duo turned and flipped me the bird. I continued to follow. Finally he turned to shout, "WHAT!"

"I want to talk to you," I said calmly.

Duo stopped, grabbed me roughly by the arm and pulled me into his room. "What's so damn urgent, Trowa?"

I saw the haunted look on his face. I found myself going into the protector mode I thought I only had reserved for Quatre and Heero. "I'm sorry, Duo."

Obviously the wrong thing to say. "Don't go feeling sorry for me, Trowa-kun. I'm a survivor."

"I know, Duo. We're all survivors. I'm sorry that this worked out this way," I said.

"How can you justify taking Heero? Do you always take what doesn't belong to you?" Duo hissed.

Ouch! That hurt. "As a rule, I never get what I want. I've accepted that."

"You mean, you don't get what you want unless Quatre gets it for you," Duo smiled unpleasantly.

"Quatre has moments of myopia. He wasn't trying to hurt you," I said before confessing, "I shouldn't have let him help me."

Duo laughed bitterly. "Oh, you needed his help. You wouldn't be with Heero otherwise, ne?"

"True," I sighed. "But it was never my intention to hurt you."

Duo wouldn't look at me. So I did what Quatre would do in such a situation. I pulled Duo into a tight embrace. He fought it, but I held on. He seemed to stop the struggle, but I knew better. I eased the embrace just a little. He tried snaking out of it. Finally he gave up and returned the embrace.

I stood quietly and waited. Waiting is something I'm very good at. I expected Duo to curse me or call me names. Instead I felt his shoulders shake as I suddenly realized that he was crying. I continued to hold Duo.

Finally the tears stopped. I fought the urge to wipe away the tears in those large, violet eyes. My embrace had loosened so he could slip out if he wanted. He pulled out of it, wiping his eyes.

"Ha," Duo tried laughing it off, "I haven't done that in ... what? Hours?" he smiled.

"Duo, what can I do to make this easier for you?" I asked.

"You mean besides leaving Heero? There's nothing you can do," Duo smiled sadly.

Well, there's nothing more I can do here, so I placed my hand on his shoulder and gave it a small squeeze. Then I left.

Once I was in the hallway, I spotted Wufei and Quatre playing one of their games of dominance. It took me some getting used to the idea of Quatre and Wufei as a couple. But the more I thought about it, the more they seemed suited for each other. The light of the golden haired boy with sunny optimism complemented the dark of the raven haired boy with dour pessimism. The alpha and omega.

Quatre wiggled out of Wufei's hold before he saw me watching them.

"Trowa, are you okay?"

"Hai."

Wufei continued to stare. "Okay Barton, spill it."

Deciding this was a discussion best not to be held in the hallway, so I headed to the kitchen as Quatre and Wufei followed me. I turned the tea kettle on, then sat at the table.

"I wish something could be done to help Duo," I said simply.

"Well, considering he won't talk to me, I don't know if there's much I can do," Quatre responded.

"I know," I agreed, "Wufei, he's not mad at you, maybe you can talk to him?"

"Hai," Wufei nodded, "Maybe I should."

"Of course, Heero really should be the one," I said, "But ..."

Stop with the sad puppy eyes already, Quatre! I know you know what I'm thinking. I'll admit it. I'm afraid of the outcome of a heart to heart between Heero and Duo. Ah, who am I kidding? I am a masochist. I leave the Quatre and Wufei mostly to escape the pity-filled looks they think they are concealing. You can almost hear "Poor Trowa" radiating from the pair.

I lightly tapped on Heero's door. I could hear the tapping of his keyboard along with his patented, "Hn" response. When he realized I was there, he stopped typing and looked at me.

"You need to talk to him, Heero," I said.

"You know talking is not something I'm good at."

"You still need to do it."

"Trowa, what do I say to him?" Heero asked.

"Only you know that answer," I pulled him from his desk and smiled at him. "I'm going to go into town to pick up supplies." I kissed him deeply (well, if it turned out we were just a fling, I wanted a nice memory before the bitter end). We ended up in the hallway and I pushed him towards Duo's room.

I told Quatre not to interfere, made Wufei promise that Quatre would stay out of it, then I left.

As I drove the truck into town, my mind kept wandering back three months earlier, to the mission that brought Heero and me together. I know now it had been "arranged" but there was a real mission that did require lots of reconnaissance before serious destruction of the OZ base could take place. So by day I posed as a soldier, while Heero hacked into the mainframe looking for the information on the next generation of mobile dolls.

At night, we stayed in a tiny cabin that barely had an indoor bathroom. There were essentially three rooms: A bathroom, kitchenette and bedroom. With only one bed.

The first two nights were fairly quiet. Nothing that I wasn't already used to. I have spent many months in the past with Heero. The silence was comforting. We shared the bed, not touching.

The third night, Heero was the first to break the silence. "Quatre tells me ..." he started, but he stopped when he saw me turn several shades of red. "Gomen," he apologized.

"No, go ahead," I encouraged, well might as well get it out in the open. "Quatre told you?"

"That you were interested in me," he said quickly trying to catch my eyes.

"That's true," I said returning his gaze.

"Why?"

That question threw me off for a moment. Why was I interested? "I ... I admire you. I admire your strength ..."

"In battle, hn," he said that like it was the only reason he captured my interest.

"I'm not talking about just battles, Heero. You have an inner strength and a will to survive regardless how many times you seem to be trying to kill yourself," I replied honestly.

"So, nothing physical, huh?" he said shyly blushing.

BLUSHING! Who would ever think of Heero as a creature who blushed? Now it was my turn to blush. "You are kidding right?"

Heero walked towards me closing the distance between us. He was standing inches away from me. He stared intensely before saying in a low, silky voice, "You tell me."

All I want to do is throw him to the floor and have my way with him, but I restrain myself. We continued to stare deep into each other eyes. Heero smiled, "Gomen, Duo usually start these things off."

I shrugged. "I'm not Duo."

Heero pulled me close, "You're right about that." Then he kissed me hard.

OH GODS! How long have I thought about, no, dreamed about this. I feel the air leave my body as I attempt to meld myself even closer to him. He broke the kiss and stared into my eyes. I pulled him to me and kissed him but not nearly as hard. My hand slowly stroked the back of his unruly brown hair and lightly massaged his neck. The kiss deepened and as I felt his tongue trace my lips, I parted them and let his tongue dance inside my mouth. I timidly sucked on his tongue that elicited a moan from Heero.

I felt myself reacting as if I were floating before my sense of reason overrode my hormones. "Heero, we have to stop this. It's not right." Oh, have I mentioned that I'm a masochist?

"This feels right to me," Heero murmured as he tried to kiss me again.

"What about Duo?" I said as I evaded his embrace.

"What about him?"

"You don't think this would hurt him?" I asked. "I'm not trying to be a tease here, but I need to know what this is. Is this going to be a one night stand? Or could it turn into something more?"

"Trowa," Heero sighed. "I once told you to follow your emotions. My emotions are telling me I need you."

"No, your hormones are telling you that you need me." I decided a cold shower was in order. "I'm not saying anything needs to be decided tonight. I just want you to be sure what it is you really want." I headed to the tiny bathroom.

The water never seemed to get quite cold enough. So my hands roamed down to the hard on from hell, as I tried to finish what was started in the other room. My mind kept wandering to Heero's touch and smell as I jacked off in the shower. Gods how was I going to share a bed with him tonight, I kept wondering. Heero solved that problem by not being in the bedroom after I finished my shower.

I was sure he'll let me get a good half hour of sleep before returning to the cabin. But I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned that night only settling down when I found myself clutching on to Heero's pillow like it was Heero himself and deeply inhaling its musky scent.

Next morning arrived and still no Heero. I had little else to do but to complete the mission. So I donned my uncomfortable soldier outfit and headed to "work". I knew in my heart that Heero hadn't abandoned the project, but I hoped that he hadn't abandoned me.

As I made my way to "work", I concluded that Heero may have done the following: He spent the night in his Gundam, he spent the night hacking into OZ's mainframe, or some combination of the two. I decided my mission for today would be to finagle a way into the clean room that housed the chips needed for the new mobile dolls. I had been observing protocols, memorizing passcodes and felt today would be as good day to attempt infiltration as any other. Well, that was before the big commotion that had several officers running, myself included. There he stood looking angry. "I only came to see Trevor Barnes. I'm ... a friend."

I arrived along with a few of the junior officers. These officers turned and looked at me curiously. Trevor was the alias I was using here. "Harry, what are you doing here?" I said sternly. When Heero produced a single red rose, the other officers 'got the picture' and started to walk away. All except one.

She looked at me and said, "Lover's spat, eh Barnes? You know he's not suppose be here on the base. So why don't you two go make up real quick and I'll cover for you. I'll give you a half hour." Then she winked at me and left.

"Let's go outside, Harry," I said. As we walked off of the base, I wasn't sure where to start. I was angry because he could have gotten captured for his stupid stunt. I was surprised by the flower and wasn't sure what it meant if anything. Once we were off the base, I turned to him and said as calmly as I could, "What the hell was that about Yuy?"

"I thought I'd save you a trip into breaking into the clean room. I did that earlier," Heero said as he produced the microchips.

"So you thought causing a loud raucous was the 'stealth' way of getting my attention?"

Heero looked ... chagrined? "That was an accident. I was trying to see you to apologize."

"Apologize?" I look at him blankly.

"For leaving without a word after you went to the bathroom last night. I wasn't sure I wanted to face you," Heero said staring into my eyes.

I shook my head. "I'm sorry. I may have lusted for you for months now but my stupid conscience keeps getting the better of me. Let's talk about this tonight okay?"

"Hai," he said. Then we stood there staring at each other. The officer who was "covering" for me was now outside by the gate.

She was observing the action before she yelled at us. "KISS AND MAKE UP ALREADY! GEEZ!"

Heero smiled. "Well, shall we make it worth her while?" He pulled me close and kissed me.

Every nerve ending was tingling as I leaned into the kiss. My arms snaked around his neck and I settled into the kiss. The world seemed to be melting away until our reunion was cut short by a shout of...

"Come on Barnes. Your half hour is up. You can see your boyfriend later."

It was nearly impossible getting through the rest of my "workday". My thoughts kept drifting to Heero. Every now and then I would force myself to concentrate on surveillance which was what I was there for after all. The hours ticked away slowly. Finally my shift was over. As I stepped off the base, I was surprised to see Heero waiting. I attempted to school my face into an impassive look, but obviously failed miserably because Heero just smiled at me. He kissed my cheek, took my hand and lead me to the car. All these actions continued to surprise and excite me.

Ah, but masochist in me returned. "What are you doing Heero?" I managed to gasp out as he kissed my hand at a stop light as we drove to the safe house.

He looked at me and smiled. "I told you. I'm following my emotions."

I decided to wait until we were at the house, to discover what that really meant. Was I going to be a temporary amusement or would there be something more?

I seemed perpetually surprised. When we got to the house, dinner was carefully laid out and waiting. "What?"

"I picked up a few things after getting kicked off the base," Heero said.

"You made dinner?"

"Nothing elaborate. Knowing you, you probably haven't eaten at all today. Sit. Eat," Heero commanded.

I complied. How did he know I'm a fairly light eater? It's not like I have an eating disorder, but I eat enough to sustain me. It's hard running for your life on a full stomach. Except for Quatre, I never thought any of the other guys noticed what I ate or how often.

We ate our meal in silence. This is one of the few times I regretted not being as chatty as Duo. I really needed to know what was going on in Heero's mind.

Dishes were cleared away and we sat on the stools at the kitchenette, staring at each other.

"Okay, who starts?" I asked.

"I do," Heero said as he pulled me towards him in a soft kiss.

"You've come to some type of decision," I murmured, hating myself for spoiling a really sweet moment.

"When we get back, I'm telling Duo that I want to be with you," Heero said, looking into my eyes intensely.

"Why me?" I wasn't fishing for compliments. I really needed to know.

Heero smiled. Damn, I love that smile, he so rarely shows it to anyone. "You have always cared about me."

"So you're feeling some kind of obligation to me because of that?" Damn, I hate me sometimes.

"No," Heero said, pulling me close and gently cupping my face. "Not at all. You and I are a lot alike. We have a hard time expressing our feelings and emotions. But I know that you care about me. I see it in your eyes. Duo cares for me but he's rather demanding. You never demand anything from me."

"I think yesterday I demanded an explanation of what this was," I said.

"Yes, but you did that out of fear. You weren't trying to force me to into an ultimatum of you or nothing at all."

"Fear? Fear of what? Rejection? I've been there, I expect it even," I said, realizing I was saying too much.

Heero gently kissed my lips, then said, "I know. You shouldn't have to expect rejection. I won't reject you."

Damn that was sweet. I tried to force myself not to tear up at that statement. I hugged him. "Since I'm the king of avoidance, let me just say, we should get some rest. We have some explosives to plant and a base to destroy."

Heero shook his head. "Yes, you are the king," before he pulled out of the embrace. We each took a shower and headed for our bed.

The light hadn't been out for five minutes before, Heero turned it back on. He stared at me and said, "I can't sleep like this."

"Why?" I looked at him puzzled.

"I want ..." he looked hesitant for a second. "I want to touch you."

"Heero!" I said surprised.

"Please?" he asked. "I won't ... I won't do anything you don't want. I promise."

Not completely sure where this would head, and my resolve crumbling with every bat of his eyelash, I nodded my consent.

He leaned in for a kiss. One I glad accepted, as his tongue sweetly wrestled with mine. I could feel his hands roaming across my chest under my t-shirt. Slow circles around my nipples with his fingers and nails slightly scratching at the nubs brought my nipples to full erection and a moan from me. It wasn't the only part of me getting fully erect.

The t-shirt was now in a pile by the bed as Heero's mouth began to suck and tease at my nipples making them even harder to the point of actual pain. His hand skillfully slide under my pajama bottoms to make contact with my ...

"Nnnn, Gods! Heero!" screamed out of my mouth. His touch was electric! I don't remember when the pajamas left my body to join the t-shirt, but I was nude before Heero bucking gently as his hand slowly stroked me. He would flick his tongue at one of my nipples, all the while stroking my aching cock with deliberate slowness, ignoring my impatient bucks demanding release.

"You're beautiful, Trowa, did you know that?" Heero said with a look of dare I say it? Wonder on his face. I had never seen that look on his face before, I felt overwhelmed by his words and actions. I almost came at that moment. He continued to stroke me at a slow pace that finally I had to beg him for the release.

He nodded and quickened the stroke. I was really close. I wanted so much more. I wanted him inside me, I wanted to be inside him, but I knew none of that would be happening until he talked with Duo. I could barely catch my breath before I screamed, "Heero!" And everything in my brain exploded into white light. Damn, who knew a hand job could be this exciting? As I laid there panting, Heero slowly lapped up all evidence of my release from his hand and my stomach.

My senses came back to me and I noticed that Heero needed a little "attention." So I kissed him as wantonly as I could managed while I grabbed his hard cock. Heero moaned in my mouth, all the while rocking in my hand. I decided that it would be my turn to make him beg. I licked the palm and fingers of my right hand and used that to stroke Heero with. The slickened hand made Heero moan and buck up to my touch in a faster, frenzied pace. So I came up with every trick I knew to delay the pleasure. I slowed the pace of my stroke, I would intermittently squeeze a little harder at unexpected times. Sometimes I'd stroked fast, sometimes exceedingly slow. Finally I heard the words I needed to hear.

"Trowa, please?" Heero gasped.

I nodded and resumed my ministrations at a pace I knew would bring Heero to completion. Seconds later, Heero arched his back and came hard. I was surprised at how much ejaculate could come out of one person. Then I thought about what that release would feel like inside of me and I felt myself getting hard again. I repeated Heero's actions and began licking him clean. He tasted salty and I knew I lingered a little longer in some areas on his body than others, but he didn't complain.

"Now do you think you can sleep?" I asked.

He laughed, "Yeah, I think so."

"Good! We only have to be awake in four hours to set up the explosives," I reminded him.

"Four hours is plenty," he said sleepily pulling me close to him. "Good night, Trowa."

"Good night."

I've gathered enough food and supplies to take care of a small army. When I pulled up to the house, I half-expected Quatre or Heero to be waiting for me. Needless to say seeing Duo sitting on the front steps of the house surprised me.

I slowly got out of the truck and waited. For what? I wasn't sure. "Duo?" I asked. Waiting.

Duo seemed to snap out of his thoughts and looked at me. "Trowa, do you love him?"

I blinked at that. "Yes, Duo. Very much."

He seemed to process that information.

"I know you love him also," I said hoping he'd understand that I'm not really an enemy here.

"Do I?" Duo asked looking at me puzzled. "After talking to him, I've been wondering about that."

"What do you mean?" It was my turn to look perplexed.

"Am I angry because you wormed your way into his life? Or because I lost," he said.

"It wasn't meant to be a contest," I said.

"Am I so possessive?" He asked.

"I can't answer that," I shrugged.

"As a casual observer then, was I possessive? Please, Trowa I need to hear this. Don't try sparing my feelings here," Duo said.

"You ... did seem to be rather ... obsessed? You knew where he was practically at all times. I guess that could be possessive," I said as gently as I could.

"Okay," he said slowly, "But you can't fault me in my reactions to Quatre!"

I smiled, "No, I can't fault you for that. But I wish you two could make up. He does think of you has a friend. This distance between you two is hurting him."

"When? Between boinking sessions with Wufei?" Duo laughed bitterly.

"Duo, I care. And I'm sorry for what I did," Quatre said in the shadows. Duo and I both jumped at his unexpected voice.

"I know now who my friends are, and you're not among them," Duo sneered.

"If I could go back in time to change things, I would have done things differently," Quatre said.

"But you would have still tried to fix Trowa with Heero," Duo smiled.

"Well, you probably have a point, but I still think it could have been done differently," Quatre smiled sadly.

"How would you like it if I had Trowa here try to fix me up with Wufei on a long mission somewhere?" Duo challenged.

"I would hope Wufei's love for me would be strong enough to resist your charms," Quatre said.

Duo looked at me. Damn, Quatre don't give the boy ammo to point at me. "Did he ever say no?"

Great Quatre. If I answer this honestly, Duo's heart gets broken. If I lie, it will give Duo false hope. I shook my head no and waited for his reaction.

Duo stared at me for a moment as if not comprehending my nonverbal answer. Then he sighed. "Destined to be alone, huh?"

Quatre walked over to Duo and took his hands. "Not true. I know lots of people. I'm sure I can find someone that's perfect for you."

I laughed. "Quatre, it's your matchmaking that started this whole mess!"

Quatre ignored me, "Don't listen to him Duo! What are you looking for? I know a few Maganacs who really would like to get to know you. If not one of them, I know hundreds of ..."

I left the two boys discussing Duo's perfect man to take the supplies into the house. Wufei heard some of Quatre's chatter since I left the door opened to bring in the supplies. He looked at me with an exasperated look on his face.

"He'll never learn, will he?" Wufei laughed as he decided to help me lug in the rest of the supplies.

On one of the subsequent trips into the house with bags, I saw Heero staring at me out of the upstairs window. I smiled and continued into the house.

OWARI

Babaca -- Please send feedback to the author at: babaca@babaca.org