09-Oct-2000
Category: humor, shounen-ai
Rating: PG
Pairings: 2, 4x5
Warnings:
possible bad language?
Feedback: C&C
Notes: Damn you Jezebel! I say I will write no more stories on this Heero/Trowa/Duo thing and you make a suggestion! Argh. Think of this as kind of a sequel to: Setting Things Right. Well, at least this one didn't take as long to write. And as for that second blind date in this story with the sniffle guy ... I went on that date in RL!
Oh yeah, '--denotes thoughts--'
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters belongs to Bandai, Sunrise and Sotsu Agency and are only being used for non profit entertainment purposes.
"So how about those OZ soldiers, ne?" Abdul uttered to Duo on their blind date. The evening had gone badly. They were in a restaurant, Duo was on his fourth beer and looking extremely bored.
"Yeah, they're bastards," Duo mumbled. "Are you sure I can't interest you in a beer?"
"I don't drink," Abdul said with a smile that quickly faded, "Ah, who am I kidding this date sucks, yes, bring it on my friend, I'll have a beer."
Many beers later ...
"So why did you ask me out?" Duo asked.
"Well, I was telling Auda that I thought you were very good looking and I liked your sense of humor. Next thing I knew, Quatre-sama ..." Abdul slurred a little.
"Of course," Duo smiled trying not to slur much.
"Quatre-sama made the arrangements."
"Sorry Abdul. I think you're a fun guy. I'm sorry Quatre felt the need to play matchmaker," Duo said.
"Well, you know Quatre-sama, when he gets determined about something there's no stopping him," Abdul said. "I can't tell you how many times he's ditched us in the past to go to battle alone and we're only trying to help!
"I know what you mean, man. Q can be quite a pain sometimes," Duo nodded in agreement. "Hey, let's get out of this place. We'll pick up a couple of six packs and I'll show you a neat trick on how to drink a whole beer in one gulp. It's called shotgunning a beer!"
"Splendid!" Abdul smiled.
Many shotgunned beers later, the two very inebriated men were sharing a cab.
"So whyyy dddid Quaatresamma think you needed a date? Aren't you with that scary Heero guy?" Abdul stuttered.
"I was. Looong story. Not pretty. Here's my stop! Thankss for a lovely evening Aabbaaddoool," Duo slurred.
"Thhankks for the shotgun llessonns, I'll teach the others in the corps," Abdul said as he gave Duo a chaste peck on the cheek.
Duo started to pull out his wallet to pay his portion of the cab fare. Abdul grabbed his hand. "No, I got it. See you around Duo," Abdul smiled.
"Ja ne," Duo responded as he staggered into the safe house. 'Abdul is a nice enough guy, but should I go ahead and kill Q now or later?' Duo thought as he tried to get the key into the door.
"How did your date go?" Quatre asked flashing one of his dazzling smiles at Duo.
"Well, it really picked up once alcohol was introduced," Duo smiled. "I'm off to bed now. G'nite."
Quatre's smile left his face once Duo left the room. Wufei having noted the exchange from a different part of the room, walked over to sit next to Quatre.
"When are you going to stop meddling in Duo's life?" Wufei asked gently.
"I'm not meddling, Wufei," Quatre chided. "I'm only trying to help."
"Maybe you should try not helping," Wufei remarked as he kissed his lover's forehead.
Duo ran into Trowa in the hallway.
"How did it go?" Trowa asked.
"How do you think?" Duo replied.
"Sorry."
"How do I make him stop? You should know, right? You two were together for a while," Duo asked.
"There is no stopping him," Trowa shrugged. "But I could try to see what I can do. I don't think I'll have much influence on this matter."
Duo shook his head, "Nah, I guess I'll let him run though his filofax of available guys. He's bound to run out soon, don't you think?"
Trowa chuckled and walked back to his room.
Duo headed for the bathroom. He still thought it was weird as hell that Trowa and Heero were a couple. He got over his anger at Trowa, but deep down he was still a little infuriated at Heero. He didn't out and out snub him, not that Heero would have noticed, but others sensed the tension when it came to Mr. Yuy.
Under the comforting warmth of the hot shower, he wondered what it was about Heero that still got to him. 'He's sweeter to Trowa than he ever was to me,' he thought. He had spied on the couple more than a few occasions when they thought no one was around. Heero was quite the romantic softie. 'That's my influence! I had to bully every flower and dinner out of him. But he seems to do that stuff naturally with Trowa. Maybe I should start a school. The Duo Maxwell School of Romance. Lesson one: How to dump your ex and start a fabulous relationship elsewhere.'
Duo shook the negative thoughts away along with the excess water in his hair. 'Maybe I should give Quatre's next boyo a chance. What could it hurt?'
A few day later, Duo got a call.
"Are you Duane Maxfield?"
Duo smiled, "Yes, is this Micah?"
"Yes, umm. This is embarrassing. My car won't start would you mind picking me up at my house?"
Duo laughed. 'Boy already off to a great start!' he thought. "Sure, I'll be there soon."
Duo stole a nice nondescript car and picked up his blind date for the evening. The young man on the other side of the door was rather handsome. He had short black hair and in some ways he kind of looked like Heero. 'Maybe this won't be so bad.'
They arrived at the restaurant and that's when the downward spiral truly began.
"I'm allergic to dairy, why do so many dishes here have cream sauce on them?" Micah asked.
"You picked the restaurant," Duo reminded him. "We could so somewhere else. I'd be perfectly fine with picking up a hamburger."
Micah shuddered. "Red meat will kill you."
Duo sighed, "So would a well aimed bus."
"What?" Micah stared at the braided boy.
"Nothing, just kidding," Duo smiled unconvincingly. That's when he started to notice Micah sniffling. "Are you okay?"
Micah cleared his throat loudly and said, "Allergies, sorry."
"Maybe we could pick you up some antihistamines at the store on the way to the movie," Duo suggested.
"That over the counter stuff never works. But I'm afraid my prescription medicine has run out. That won't be a problem for you, right?" he asked as he sniffed loudly and cleared his throat again.
"Not at all," Duo said, wishing he was back to shotgunning beer with Abdul from a few days earlier.
Micah found a non-dairy dish and the two ate in silence. Duo kept periodically checking his watch. After the bill arrived, Micah paid it and they left to go to the movie theater.
At the film, one Duo would have happily waited for it to go to video before seeing, Micah sniffed, snorted and constantly blew his nose. People sitting directly in front of and behind the couple scattered from their respective aisles in favor of sitting elsewhere. Duo would have loved to have joined them but he figured that wouldn't sit well with Sir Snot-a-lot. Micah's running commentary on military intelligence (of which he was woefully ignorant) had Duo alternating between annoyance and suppressed laughter. 'Damn where's Deathscythe when I need him.'
After the film, Duo drove his date home. "So how do you know Quatre again?"
"Oh, we talked briefly at the grocery store. He said he felt you and I would get along great," Micah said as he pulled out another tissue to blow his nose.
"Well, here we are," Duo said brightly, keeping the engine running.
"No good night kiss?" Micah asked.
"I don't think so," Duo intoned.
"Goodnight, Duane," Micah said offering his hand. "I'll call you."
Duo hesitated grabbing a hand that had been holding snot-filled tissues all night, but he did shake the hand briefly. "You do that."
Micah had barely shut the car door before Duo peeled out of the driveway.
"Oh, Quatre is definitely going to die for this one!" Duo screamed to himself as he rubbed his hand on the leg of his pants. In minutes, he had screeched the tires as he pulled up to the safe house.
Quatre stopped his smile the moment he saw Duo's face. "Duo?"
"Never again! Do you hear me Quatre? Never again!" Duo yelled.
"I guess I don't have to ask how it went," Quatre said meekly.
"For the love of Shinigami, don't fix me up anymore. Let's call this even okay?" Duo said.
"I'm only trying to make things better for you," Quatre said.
"Don't!" Duo said angrily. "You have done plenty!"
"When will you believe that I'm sorry about before with Heero and Trowa?" Quatre yelled.
"When you are actually SORRY about it! You say you're sorry but you don't mean it. You never mean it!" Duo yelled back waiting for Quatre to pull out the puppy dog eyes. He was surprised by what he saw. To him it look like a lightbulb finally flicked on in Quatre's head. He finally got just how badly he screwed with Duo's life.
"Duo ... I'm an ass," Quatre said in a surprised voice, "Why haven't you killed me yet?"
Duo replied, "Ah, who would pilot Sandrock if I did that."
"I'm sincerely sorry from the bottom of my heart," Quatre said contritely.
Duo felt ... embarrassed. He thought he would feel superior, smug maybe, but he sort of felt sorry for the boy who made his life a living hell. "No more fix-ups, okay?"
Quatre smiled. "Well, I'll try, but I can't guarantee anything."
Duo laughed, "Try harder then my friend."
Duo was sitting in the park re-reading the bizarre message he had received via e-mail. While puzzling over it, he heard a voice say, "Duo Maxwell?"
Duo turned to see a tall blond man that he recognized as Zechs Merquise. An enemy. Strange that he wasn't wearing his helmet. If it weren't for the voice he wouldn't have recognized the man at all. 'Wow, he's achingly beautiful,' Duo thought. "Zechs Merquise, what are you doing here?"
Zechs sat next to him on the park bench and said, "I received a strange e-mail that said I could find the possible key to my future at this park bench."
Duo looked at him curiously, before re-reading his own e-mail message aloud, "The possible key to your future happiness awaits at the third park bench in Serenity Park."
Zechs stared at the younger man. "That's what my note said exactly. What does it mean?"
Duo began to laugh. "Well, if you have a minute, I might be able to explain ..."
OWARI
Babaca -- Please send feedback to the author at: babaca@babaca.org