27-Aug-2000
Category: Friendship, shounen-ai, humor
Rating: PG
Pairings: 1x2,
2+5
Warnings: None I can think of
Feedback: C&C
Notes: This little
scenario played out in my head until it got typed. Mentally I finished this
yesterday, but I didn't finish typing it until today. All four parts will be
posted simultaneously.
Oh yeah, '--denotes thoughts--'
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters belongs to Bandai, Sunrise and Sotsu Agency and are only being used for non profit entertainment purposes.
Heero had flashed his death glare at his lover, Duo for what seemed like the fiftieth time, but it was actually only the fifth.
"Hee-chan, I'm bored! Why do you have to sit there typing like some crazy baka?" Duo fumed.
Heero decided the death glare wasn't working so he went for backup. He sent an e-mail.
//Wufei, come now. Don't tell D. that I asked you to come. Will explain later.--Heero//
'Oy vey, what am I going to do with this mensch?!' Heero pondered. He found himself rather disturbed that when Duo exasperated him, his thoughts would be peppered with Yiddish. He had never learned Yiddish, yet thoughts about Duo seem to make these words pop in his head. 'This is meshuganah! Damn!'
Thankfully the knock on the door took the bewildered Japanese man out of his thoughts.
"I'll get it," Duo yelled. Yelling was completely unnecessary. They lived in a rather small apartment together.
"Wu-kun! What brings you here?" Duo asked happily.
Wufei caught Heero's eye. The look of semi-blind panic was rather endearing. But he kept to the plan. "I was just in the neighborhood and decided to drop by. Is there anything wrong with that?"
"Not at all, Wu-man! Come on in. Heero, look who's here!"
"Wufei."
"Heero."
"Okay guys, don't tire me out with all this chatting. Who wants a beer?" Duo laughed, as he headed for the kitchenette.
"I'll have one, Maxwell."
"Damn! We're out. Not to worry, I'll just go to the corner store. You want anything while I'm out, Hee-chan?"
"No. Need any money?"
"I'm good. Don't go anywhere Wu! I'll be back before you know it!" Duo said cheerfully, as he headed out of the door.
Wufei waited a good ten seconds for Duo to leave before he finally asked, "So why am I here, Yuy?"
'Where to start?' Heero mentally sighed. "Duo is driving me nuts. I need for you to keep him occupied and out of my hair for a few hours."
"Excuse me?" Wufei asked in disbelief. "You want me to babysit Maxwell for you?"
"I have an important report I must get finished. If I were by myself it would be finished in no time, but Duo is bored and as you remember ..." Heero stopped.
"A bored Duo is a dangerous thing. Indeed, I do remember. But why me? Why not Quatre or Trowa?" Wufei asked.
"Duo feels like a third wheel when they are all together. You've been around them, when they get mushy, it's almost nauseating. Then Duo gets ideas in his head that we should be just as sappy," Heero stated, with a small shudder. "You're pretty much alone, you can keep him company."
"What you really mean is 'I've got nothing better do to'," Wufei huffed.
"I didn't say that. But it didn't take you very long to come over after I sent that e-mail," Heero shrugged.
Wufei was feeling distinctly pissed off. Pissed that as the fifth wheel, everyone assumes he had nothing better to do with his life. Mainly he was pissed off because there were times when that assessment was a fairly accurate one. This was one of those times.
"What do you want me to do with him?" Wufei sighed in resignation.
"Doesn't matter. Just keep him out of my hair for the next two hours."
"Ninmu Ryoukai," Wufei muttered.
"Arigato," Heero replied with a small smile.
Duo came barrelling in with beer and chips. "I didn't know what beer you liked so I got Tsing Tsao. That okay?"
"Sure," Wufei said accepting the beer. "Duo, do you mind helping me out with a project?"
"Whatcha need?" Duo asked.
'Uh-oh. Major flaw in plan already!' Wufei thought. "Sally's birthday is coming up soon and I thought I'd actually get the crazy onna a gift this year. What do you suggest?"
Duo looked at Wufei in mild shock. 'I didn't know he and Sally were that serious!' "Well, what kind of gift do you have in mind?"
"I don't know baka! That's why I'm asking you for help!" Wufei grumbled. "Let's go look for something for her! Now, Maxwell!" Wufei said as he drained his beer and gave Heero a you owe me BIG TIME stare.
Duo shrugged his shoulders. "Okay Wu, let's go. Heero, you want to come?" He looked up to see Death Glare #6. "Gotcha. We'll be gone for a few hours, don't worry about dinner, I'll bring something back, okay?"
Heero nodded.
The two men headed out to the stores. Window shopping was not an activity Wufei would ever do, even with a gun pointed to his head, but it was all he could come up with to keep Duo busy. Duo loved window shopping.
"It's the best way to scope out what you want to steal, don'cha think?" Duo grinned. "Not that I do that anymore. But when I had to, it made things easier."
"Hn," Wufei retorted.
"So when did you and Sally get so serious about each other?" Duo asked.
Wufei did a doubletake. "What makes you think Sally and I are serious about each other?"
"You're the one looking for a birthday gift. You never bought any of us a birthday gift. So it must be serious, ne?" Duo reasoned.
"Sally and I are just friends. That's all!"
"Uh-huh, sure, if you say so," Duo grinned.
"I do say so!" Wufei fumed. If he didn't know better he would think Duo was getting a perverse pleasure out of unnerving him.
Duo kept grinning. 'Boy, I love unnerving him. It's almost as fun as freaking out Heero!'
They settled for a bookstore.
"Well, books can be pretty platonic, unless you get her THE STORY OR O or something like that," Duo grinned.
Wufei blushed. "You are a sick individual, anybody ever tell you that? Of course they have! Now shut up and help me find a good book!"
Duo kept finding books on erotica to see what title would make Wufei nosebleed. He got close a few times but the Chinese boy never did bleed, at least not until Duo found the Illustrated Joy of Sex and started showing the boy pictures out of the book.
Before the store owner could throw them out, Wufei found a book of poems that he thought Sally might enjoy. They found a sidewalk cafe to go for a late lunch.
"Wufei, this has been a blast," Duo said as he downed his chicken lomein in great, huge clumps.
"I'll deny this to anyone who asks, but I would have to agree with you," Wufei said rather surprised at himself. 'This afternoon was pretty fun. Hmm, I wonder when Sally's birthday really is. I'll have to research that.'
"I can never get Heero to go shopping with me. He gets rather impatient. Well, you know Heero."
"Yes, I do." Wufei smiled in understanding. 'I'm quite the same way, but how is it I didn't find the experience so awful?' "We should probably get you back to him. Let's go."
Reluctantly, Duo arose after the bill was paid. Then the violet-eyed boy got an evil thought. "Fei, I promised to bring back dinner. You can help me do some grocery shopping!"
The thought of a crazed American who sucks down food like a vacuum cleaner, buying food in a store gave him a momentary shiver.
"Come on, Fei," Duo smiled, "Fair's fair. I helped you. You help me!"
"Oh, alright," Wufei groaned. And off they went.
Heero had a great afternoon initially. He finished his report to the Preventers in record time. And he had time to kill. He thought he would rejoice in the quiet solitude without his noisy koibito. That lasted for all of twenty minutes.
He found that without Duo, the quiet was almost deafening. Their apartment was so small that on a given day Heero could hear Duo's belly growling from hunger on the other side of the door before he ever put the key in the lock. Now ... nothing. No radio, no humming, no unnessary yelling when a whisper would do.
They were only supposed to be gone for two hours. It's been three. Heero started to worry a little. 'Well, I did ask him to keep the baka entertained...'
Finally, the door opened and Wufei and Duo entered carrying several bags.
"Oi, Hee-chan! A little help here!" Duo called out as he could feel one of the bottom bags start to slip. Heero caught it before it hit the ground.
The three boys got the items into the kitchenette.
"I don't know where you plan to store all these groceries, Duo," Wufei remarked.
Heero smiled, "Don't worry, by tomorrow at least a third of them will be gone.
"Hey!" Duo said good-naturedly, "If you're going to talk about me at least wait until I've left the room!"
"Hn," Wufei and Heero said in unison.
"Did you have a good afternoon, Heero?" Wufei asked.
"Ninmu Kanryou."
"Well, I should be leaving," Wufei said backing up and heading for the door.
"Oi, Fei! Don't forget your book!" Duo shouted.
Wufei winced because there was no need to shout in this small place. But he gathered the bag that contained the book.
"Arigato, Duo. Heero. Sayonara."
Duo had about half the bags put away before Heero went on the attack. Finding himself pinned to the kitchen counter, Duo blinked and looked up at Heero. "What's this?"
Heero shrugged. "I missed you, baka." Then he kissed the braided boy.
Duo returned the kiss which was a rather sweet one. He pulled back breathless and smiled. "I guess I should have Wufei take me out more often. I like this!" He pulled Heero in for another kiss.
As Heero started to drag Duo into the bedroom (all of ten or fifteen feet), Duo stopped him. "One sec, koi!"
Duo grabbed the bag with the perishable items that needed refrigeration and threw the entire bag in the freezer. 'I'll get to them later, but after spending that much money, I'll be damned if I'm going to let anything spoil!'
Duo headed into the bedroom stripping off his clothes the whole way.
Wufei knew the two were probably going at it like bunnies. He knew from the days when they used to hide out in safe houses the look Heero always gave Duo when sex was on the agenda.
'Sex. Boy, do I miss that. I really should try to find someone.' But that was never something Wufei was particularly good at. 'It wasn't like my training included Seduction 101. Duo seems a natural at it. Trowa and Quatre had to fumble their way through to passion and me? I get fun assignments like babysitting loud lovers.' Wufei chuckled to himself, 'The place they live have paper thin walls, I'm sure their neighbors just love them!'
Soon Wufei found himself back at his apartment. He checked for messages (there weren't any) then he settled down in a comfy chair to read the book he had bought for "Sally".
End of Act One.
Babaca -- Please send feedback to the author at: babaca@babaca.org