Bitter Taste of Fear
by Anastasia (padawan_ana@yahoo.com)
Categories: angst, h/c, romance
Series: This is the second
piece in the 'Coming to Their Senses' series. The first piece is 'Not On Deaf
Ears'.
Rating: G
Pairing: Q/O
Status: Complete
Archive: M_A
Spoilers: Not that I'm aware of...except for the
story I wrote before this one, if you haven't read it... : ) ::points reader to
the M_A site to find "Not On Deaf Ears"::
Summary: Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan
are rescued from a hostile planet by Mace and Yoda. A guilt-ridden Mace faces
his feelings with some insight from Yoda. The four of them return to Coruscant
with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan in critical condition.
Series Summary: In "Not
On Deaf Ears", Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were stranded on a hostile planet. Qui-Gon
was injured and Obi-Wan all but destroyed his health attempting to keep Qui-Gon
alive. Obi-Wan collapsed just as Mace and Yoda arrived to rescue them.
Feedback: Please! When I don't hear from anyone, I get a complex... : )
Flames, should you feel the need to send them, will be cheerfully forwarded to
the ferret, who will hunt down all flamers and bite their ankles. Thank you!
Disclaimers: We all know who these characters belong to (Thank you, Mr.
Lucas!), so there's no question as to who's getting all the credit, money,
attention, etc. for these wonderful Jedi. (Hint: It's not me...) Disappointing
as that is, I'd just like to borrow them to tell this story...
Inspiration: I am constantly inspired and motivated by my story editor,
Caly Rose. Thank you, Caly, for making me want to write and for keeping me at it
even when I sometimes seem to write only a sentence an hour. : )
Thank
yous: This story, I'm very happy to say, was followed and edited step-by-step by
Calysta Rose. We generally used irc to hold our brainstorming/editing sessions,
but email was in there, too. Caly did a wonderful job commenting, suggesting
word changes and ideas, and helping me to make this the best story it could be.
I've never written a story before using a 'live beta/editor' and it's been a
wonderful experience! Look for Caly and I to be teaming up as
writer/editor again in the future. : ) Thank you for all your support,
Caly! You are just the best!
Thanks also: To everyone who wrote to say
they enjoyed 'Not on Deaf Ears'. The responses to that story were phenomenal and
there were so many detailed comments that really helped to shape and mold this
story...both into what it is and what it will become. To Regs and kaly for
agreeing to look this over before its posting. I really appreciate your help,
you guys!
Note: This story is a companion story to 'Not on Deaf Ears'
and will make little sense if you haven't read that first. There are at least
two more stories planned for this series.
Another note: italics
represent thoughts.
"Pilot Nagursu!" Mace Windu
shouted as he stormed to the front of the small ship once again. "ETA!"
The pilot didn't turn around to meet the master's gaze as he had the
first ten times he'd answered the request. Instead, he kept his eyes on the
planet coming into view on the ship's front screen.
"One hour, ten
minutes, Sir," he answered, muttering, 'Only five minutes later than the last
time you asked,' under his breath.
"Please keep me informed of our
travel time," Mace growled as he turned on his heel. "I will be...meditating."
As he listened to the footfalls echoing down the corridor, the pilot
seriously doubted the Jedi master's ability to meditate in his current state.
Calm refused to settle over Mace; centering and meditation were
impossible.
"Help Qui-Gon, this behavior will not," Yoda said, not
unkindly, from his kneeling posture across the cabin. "Help, you should, by
focussing healing energies in the direction of the planet. Know, you do, that
thought energy can be very powerful, even from a distance."
Properly put
in his place, Mace stood, straightening his robes. Although he couldn't see the
planet from this angle, he sat by the small oval portal anyway, staring out at
the darkness and stars.
Qui-Gon, my friend, I'm so very sorry, he
thought, closing his eyes. I know you disagree with many of the things the
Council stands for and supports...and now your life may be in jeopardy due to
those very structures. But I also know that weighing the safety of thousands of
lives against the lives of just two people, you would have chosen the thousands
as well.
Mace sighed. Knowing something did not necessarily make it
easier to accept.
"Accept it, you must," Yoda murmured, easily reading
Mace's thoughts. "Accept and move on. The lives of the many we have tended to.
Now, the lives of two more have been placed in our hands. Concentrate on that,
you must."
"Yes, Master," Mace said with as much grace as he could
muster. Closing his eyes, he drew the Force around him and settled in to reflect
on Yoda's words.
Mace surfaced from his thoughts with a clearer mind, if not a calmer
spirit. He knew he would not be truly at ease until the missing Jedi were on
board and the ship was headed back to Coruscant. There had already been too much
time lost returning Qui-Gon and his padawan to the Temple. They needed to be
where they could heal and become whole again, both mentally and physically.
"Feel for him, you do," Yoda said, slowly covering the space between
them and approaching the portal. "A better friend than Qui-Gon you have not had
since you began training at the Temple. Like a brother he has always been to
you, hmmm?" Yoda's eyes followed the stars as if he could read something written
in them. And perhaps he could.
A brother, indeed, Mace thought. Qui-Gon
was closer to him than his birth family, as was often the case with those who
gave up their families to train and become Jedi. And now his brother was out in
the desert somewhere, dying...
"Can you feel anything from them, Yoda?
From Qui-Gon?" Mace asked, staring at the bright streaks of light until he was
dizzy. He was concerned for both the Jedi, but could not help the overpowering
concern he felt for the man he had grown up with.
Yoda's ears tipped
downward. "Sense him, I can," he replied sadly. "Great is his suffering." Yoda
caught and held Mace's haunted gaze. "Hurt, it does, to be here, with Qui-Gon
there, hmmm?"
Mace felt a shudder go through him as he nodded slowly in
agreement. "Yes. It does."
Mace was aware of the ship's descent even before the pilot contacted him
to announce their imminent arrival in orbit around the planet.
"Touchdown estimated in sixteen minutes," Nagursu told them.
"Get as close to them as you can," Mace said. "I want to be able to go
down, get them out of there, bring them back to the ship, and take off in a
matter of minutes. Can you do that?"
"Yes, Sir," Nagursu answered,
suddenly all business. "I'm a career pilot, Sir. Flying into situations like
this and flying back out quickly and in one piece is my job. You can count on
me, Sir. Nagursu out."
"Three minutes to touchdown," Nagursu's voice broke through the silence.
"I should be able to set you down about two hundred meters from their position.
The terrain is dusty. Don't want to risk landing too close and kicking up the
loose sand."
"Understood," Mace said. "Master Yoda and I will join you
momentarily."
"Steady, their Force presence is," Yoda told Mace as they
hurried to the front of the ship.
"Steady? But I thought you said..."
"Steady it is," Yoda said, forehead furrowing. "But not strong. No, not
strong at all. Not..." Yoda stopped in mid-sentence--in mid-stride--dropping the
supply kit he held. It hit the deck with a clang.
"Yoda? Yoda, what is
it?" Mace was torn between rushing onward and remaining with the elder master.
"Hurry, you must," Yoda muttered. "Hurry. They are suffering.
Suffering..." He paused, focussed inward. "He is dying," he said as he came back
to himself. The green face crumpled in pain.
Mace had heard enough.
Stooping down, he retrieved the fallen medical supply kit and took off for the
pilot's station at a full run.
"You're with me!" he barked, as he
reached the front of the ship.
The startled pilot turned, a look of
surprise clouding his olive features. "Sir?"
"Put this ship down
anywhere you can," Mace ordered him. "And then you're with me. One of the Jedi
is in trouble and you and I will be the fastest on foot. Time is of the essence.
Master Yoda can monitor ship's systems until we return."
Nagursu threw
the ship into landing mode, set it down as gently as he could, and was out of
his seat and on Mace's heels in record time.
The bright sunlight was excruciating after the relative darkness of the
ship and the dry air made Mace's lungs burn. How had Qui-Gon and his apprentice
made it almost twenty-five rotations here? Obi-Wan was used to such conditions,
in moderation, but Qui-Gon had never borne the heat well.
Stumbling on
the uneven ground in his haste, Mace regained his balance quickly and rushed in
the direction of the two men. He could hear Nagursu behind him, but his long
legs and Jedi reflexes made him faster and better-suited to running.
Scrambling to the top of a dune, Mace looked out over the endless sand.
In the distance, he could see the outline of those he sought. Doubling his pace,
he forged ahead. Their rushed landing had put them almost twice as far away as
the original estimate, but it was worth it to be on solid ground and making the
retrieval at last.
Cloak swirling behind him in the sand, Mace closed
the gap between himself and the Jedi. I'm almost there, he thought to
Yoda. I can see them from here. Obi-Wan is sitting up. That's a good
sign.
Almost as soon as Mace had completed his thought, Obi-Wan was
down, taking Qui-Gon with him as he slumped to the ground.
They're
both down! Mace thought desperately to Yoda. He was at Obi-Wan's side now,
pulling Qui-Gon from his arms. Nagursu caught up, drenched with sweat and
breathing heavily in the oppressive heat.
"If you can manage that one,"
he gestured to Mace's grip on Qui-Gon. "I can carry the other one."
Hurriedly, Mace nodded, grabbing Obi-Wan's cloak from the sand and
draping it over him as Nagursu lifted him off the ground. Mace followed suit,
hefting Qui-Gon over his shoulder, taking off for the ship.
As the two men rushed in and the ship's hatch slid closed, Yoda
maneuvered the ship up off the desert floor. Contacting Coruscant regarding
their estimated time of arrival, he set the ship to autopilot and made his way
aft.
Mace and Nagursu had the Jedi laid out side by side on the bed in
the largest cabin on the ship. When he saw Yoda, the pilot surrendered his job
assisting Mace and eagerly returned to work he was more suited for at
navigation.
Silently, Mace handed Yoda a basin of warm water and a
cloth. Both Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had been stripped down to their underclothes,
torsos and legs a ghostly white in comparison to sun-punished hands and faces.
Intravenous tubing supplied both men with the nutrients and liquids their
systems craved; oxygen-assist masks had been gently pulled over both sets of
noses and mouths.
"I've taken care of their most immediate needs," Mace
told Yoda, busying his hands by wringing out the sponge he was using to wipe
down Obi-Wan. "I will finish cleansing Padawan Kenobi," he said. "I thought you
might want to tend Qui-Gon yourself."
The masters worked in silence,
each lost in his own thoughts.
"Obi-Wan is going have need of the bacta
tank," Mace said quietly. "With damage this extensive, I'm not sure how he
managed to last as long as he did. Qui-Gon is as fit as a marathon runner
compared to him."
"Need rest, they both do," Yoda said, dipping his
cloth into the water. "Treatment, Qui-Gon will need, to repair his lungs.
Damaged, they are, from the Trellisian weapons. Feel it, I can. Affecting his
whole system, it is."
"Obi-Wan is suffering from extreme exhaustion and
heat stroke," Mace told him. "He has severe skin and tissue damage from the
burning and blistering caused by over-exposure to the sun. And those are just
the things I can detect without having sophisticated medical equipment. I
suspect his lungs were affected, too, if not from the weapons discharge then
from the prolonged time spent out in the swirling dust of the planet."
"Sleep, they will , until we reach Coruscant. Stay with them at all
times, one of us should."
"I have already taken the liberty of placing
Obi-Wan into a Force-induced slumber," Mace told Yoda. "I have no wish for him
to wake and begin to fret about things that can't be fixed until we get to the
Temple."
"No wish, have you, for the young one to wake and begin to
accuse you again of inattention to his master," Yoda said knowingly.
"We're doing all we can!" Mace exclaimed indignantly.
Yoda
snorted, delighting in neatly baiting the other master. "Know that I do,"
Yoda said, the corners of his mouth turning up. "Explaining it to a sick padawan
is something altogether different."
Mace sighed. He understood what the
wizened master was saying. Obi-Wan had been through more on this mission than
many padawans went through for their trials. It had been hard on them all,
waiting and wondering and unable to act, but the apprentice had probably
suffered more than any of them.
"Finished, I am," Yoda said, laying a
wrinkled, green hand upon his apprentice's cheek before walking sadly away.
After disposing of the basins and cloths, the two masters checked in
with the pilot and settled in to meditate on all that had taken place. Silently,
both willed the small ship to get to Coruscant as quickly as possible.
With constant monitoring and careful watching-over, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan
were no worse off when the ship set down on Coruscant. But neither had they
improved. That thought weighed heavily on Mace's mind.
"Taken care of
now, they will be," Yoda assured him. "And survive they will. Skilled are the
healers on Coruscant. Ask for more, we could not."
And then the healers
were aboard the ship, medical droids behind them, monitoring, testing, touching,
observing, and finally taking Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan away to the temple's medical
facilities.
Mace stood in the ship's hatchway, looking out on the
procession of healers and droids heading for the medical bay. Qui-Gon and his
apprentice would be fine now, he told himself over and over until he could
almost believe it.
And if they're not, I don't know how I'll be able
to live with it. The thought left a bitter taste in Mace's mouth.
"Go, we must, to the Council," Yoda said from beside him, interrupting
his melancholy thoughts. "Anxious they will be to know what has transpired."
The Council. It was always the Council.
"The Council first, then
the healers," Yoda told him sympathetically.
Yoda walked slowly down the
boarding ramp ahead of Mace, walking stick tapping out an uneven rhythm. "Come,
let us make our report and then move on to more important matters."
It
was with a heavy heart that Mace followed Yoda down the ramp and toward Council
chambers.
~ el fin ~
Feedback? ::hopeful smile::
Anything? (padawan_ana@yahoo.com)