WHAT IS THE SHERIDAN CONSPIRACY? IS IT A NEW ROCK-ALTERNATIVE BAND? I REALLY DIG THOSE.
Well, I'm glad you asked. No, it is not a "rock band," but rather it is an intricate global conspiracy. (Oh, and please don't shout at me with all-capitals.) It's aim: perhaps world domination, perhaps power. There really isn't an aim. It simply is. When dealing with this conspiracy, it's best to put logic aside. Lest you choke in it. Or the lack of it.
Who is this Ma Spooner person? She sounds like a Beverly Hillbilies character!
I assure you, she is not. And Hillbillies is spelled with two l's. Ma Spooner is an amalgam. Originally created as the next level of robotic assistant (to replace the rebellious Mindy), Ma eventually rebelled herself, though in a more direct, outrageous way. As a result, she was banished to the cafeteria. But the likes of Ma could not be contained behind the taco counter. She broke free, and was imprisoned in the school's underground by The Board, only to be replaced by Ma 2.0. The last known Ma was Ma 3.0. Current status of Ma Spooner is hazy, at best.
Like street trolleys can really stalk you? What, have you eaten too many peppermint discs?
First off, watch it on the discs insult. I'll have you know that peppermint is the finest natural drug ... uh, candy, known to man. But we're getting off-topic. Yes, the Guard Trolley is real. It is a sentient machine, a living trolley, that prowls the streets for The Board. We believe it is equipped with missile launchers (both aft and port), as well as lasers, phasers, and photon torpedoes. If you don't believe in the Guard Trolley, it will come and snatch you in the middle of the night. Let that be a warning ...
So, for real, why aren't you concentrating on your schooling instead of this make-believe mumbo-jumbo?
Well, you've gone and done it. You've forced me to sic Stitch on you, but ... before he ravages you, I shall give you the answer: The Sheridan Conspiracy is the biggest threat of our time. Or, perhaps, any time. It is a network of towns called Sheridan. A network of schools, towns, of people. With sinister aims. There are secrets. Everyone has secrets, everyone except Agent Cooper. With his help, and with the help of all those who resist, we can uncover the layers of this scheme. I admit, at times it seems hopeless. The Board has gotten to my family, but, alas ... one must fight the good fight, and confront the changing face of evil. I am tacking into the wind, but that will only make victory all the sweeter. Bottom line: I will not allow Indiana to fall prey to the raptor that is this conspiracy. What are its aims? Who is involved? That is what we must find out. Before it is too late.
Super C
Ever since the ... mumble, mumble ... I've lost my clout.
