19 Sep 05
It's his day off and Ric does what he does on his day off, absolutely nothing. Even with this busy schedule he manages to squeeze in a movie or two. Today's feature presentation, Twisted, with Ashley Judd and Samuel L. Jackson just ended. As he shuts off the DVD player and TV he thinks to himself, “Dang! Ashley Judd is so hot! How can she be related to The Judds?” Ever since Kiss The Girls he has asked himself that question after watching one of her films. He thinks Ashley Judd is HOT.
He pauses for a moment to think of what to do next; should he make today a Double Feature day, or maybe he should watch an episode or two of Friends. There is always laundry... no, definitely NOT laundry. Music, yes, he will listen to music. But what genre? Music affects his mood so he must choose appropriately or his groove can be thrown out of whack. Today is such a nice day, what type of music will go with today? As he opens his laptop he gets a happy surprise; one that brings a smile to his face. His music choice has been decided for him.
Ric's laptop has been running for hours. He always turns it on every morning and leaves it running all day unless he leaves his room. When he is not using it he closes the lid. He opened it in time to see a beautiful staring at him. His screensaver was running. The face he saw was one that has been engraved in his mind for months. This beautiful stranger brings a smile to his face. His heart melts when ever he sees that face. For months that was the only photograph he had of her, but he has never told her he had saved it onto his memory as well as his memory stick since the first time he saw it on her yahoo profile. Her eyes which seem to be looking right at him, her cute small almost nonexistent upper lip and her big, soft lower lip, the dent under her lips, the small clef on her chin. Her features have always captivated him. Her silliness, her simplicity, her kind heart, have made him fall in love with her.
Ric takes a deep breath moves the mouse around to stop the screensaver and continues to open iTunes. He chooses a playlist he created months ago. This playlist contains a list of 60 songs that in one way or another make him feel good inside, put him at ease, make him feel this warmth inside his heart. This playlist has helped him fall asleep many times when he had laid in bed twisting and turning. Many times he was appeased by these songs whenever he had a bad day at work, or when he just felt alone... so far away from everyone he loves. He never knew why, but these songs always made him think of his stranger. He remembered how one night he was chatting with an old friend from school while listening to this playlist. He told his friend about it, and told her the names of the songs he was listening to. Ric's friend just said, “sounds like you're in love.” Then she asked, “Who's the girl?” Ric just laughed it off. He wasn't in love. How could he be in love?
As Bruce Springsteen's Secret Garden began to play, Ric sits back on his chair removing his hands from mouse and keyboard, anxiously awaiting the minute it takes his screensaver to run. He waits for what feels like a long 60 seconds. The first picture flashes, then the next,and the next, and so on. A total of eight pictures, and with each picture came ten seconds of bliss.
The first photograph was the one he saw when he opened his laptop. The next, a photograph of Her in a classroom. Her long, straight hair over her right eye. She has this look on her faces that makes Ric sigh, “Wow.” He has no other words. The third, a photograph of her taken on New Year's. Ric remembers telling her that she looked thirteen years old in that picture. Since then she has tried to prove that she does not look that young. Ric lets out a quiet little laugh. “I love you.”
Ric notices the song playing at that moment. Juan Gabriel's Abrazame. It makes him miss her so much more. It's something he has been wanting to do for a long time now. All he wants to do is take her in his arms and never let her go. Sometimes he closes his eyes and imagines he can. He can't wait for the moment he sees her. Part of the song's lyrics ring loudly in his head, “...este amor que siento es porque tu lo as merecido.” He doesn't know why but those words touch his heart at that moment, more than before. All he knows is that he loves her.
The next photograph makes him laugh a bit more. Its the one she sent him to prove that she didn't look thirteen. She looks so beautiful it hurts. Her expression also saddens him a little. There is so much sadness in her eyes. He wants to know why. He wants to know what he could do to make her sadness go away. He wishes he could have been there to at least comfort her. He wants to be there for her. He IS there for her. Even in the distance he will always be there for her.
Ric thinks about the distance between them. They have always been far away, but for some reason she seems even further away. She is not home. She is in Mexico at this moment. Ric hasn't spoken to her in a couple of days. He can't believe how much he misses her. How much he needs her.
The fifth photograph is different from all the rest. Its a picture of her in her red “salsa” dress. It shows a side of her that the others don't. To Ric, this photograph conveys her hidden sensuality. A sensuality that she has demonstrated only in her writings. He remembers a poem she read him. He remembers how she was a little uncomfortable while reading it. He wishes that he could have inspired that poem. He has always told her that he loves her with all is heart. That she means the world to him. What he has never told her is how much he desires her. How much he wants her. He wants to feel her skin against his. He wants to be so close to her that he breaths the air she exhales. He wants her to wrap her legs around him, like in her poem. He wants... Ric stops himself. He doesn't know if revealing this to her would be a mistake. He loves her and respects her. She wouldn't want to lose her respect.
There is something about the sixth picture that Ric just loves. Its another picture of her. In this one she is sitting on the passenger seat of a car. She has a smile on her face. She is wearing these large round sunglasses that make her look so cute. Such a simple picture, yet its seems amazing to Ric. Its almost like he was looking right at her and not just at millions of blue, red, and green pixels on his computer screen.
Ric listens to the song currently playing:
“...si tu supieras que tu alma esta en mi alma,
y que estoy siego dentro de la claridad.
Si tu supieras que tu amor esta en mi sangre...”
The next two pictures that flash are not of Her, but were taken by her. Two photographs that she felt so proud of. The clouds in the pictures look so amazing, so unique, just like her. Almost like the clouds posed just for her. Ric feels like he is looking through her eyes at her world. He is also proud of her because she had told him she couldn't take pictures. Ric thinks to himself in baby talk, “Awwwww, mira lo que hizo mi baby!” almost like a parent would look at his child's drawing then proudly displaying it on the refrigerator with a magnet in the shape of an ice cream cone.
The screensaver continues to flash the same eight picture over and over as Ric sits and stares at them. He lets himself get lost in his thoughts about how much he loves the stranger on the pictures. He doesn't know how he has managed to live without her all this time.
But how? How can he love a stranger? Even though he has known her for ten months, technically she is still a stranger. Sure, he has been chatting with her online for months. Sure, he has been talking to her on the phone for a few months also. Sure, he knows her name...names. Diana Sofia Saraelia Castaneda. Strangers they are nonetheless. They have never met in person. They have never been in the same room, building, neighborhood, city, or even county, together. They came close to it a month ago, but it wasn't the right time. Fate kept them from meeting. Unfortunately fate used her sister to keep us from meeting. “Couldn't Saraelia just had car trouble? Maybe Fate needs to reevaluate its methods” thought Ric. “Wow! Its been a month” Ric thinks. A month since he said “I Love You!” to Saraelia for the first time. A month since he said “Te Amo!” for the first time. A month since he asked her, “Quieres ser mi novia?” A month since she said “yes.”
At that moment, Ric hears someone knocking on his door. He opens it just to find another surprise. A letter from his beloved stranger. His heart beats faster, his grin stretches from one ear to the other. He has goosebumps. Ric is so excited. His hand trembling a little, he manages to open the envelope. The sweetest, most wonderful smell escapes from the envelope. The scent of his “Amada.” He finds two letters and a poem. He reads the first letter. With every word he reads his heart beats just a little faster. Ric reads the words “I love you” and his heart melts. Saraelia tells him how she feels. He has never been so much in love. Ric reads the next letter. More of the same feelings from both. By this time Ric is in heaven. He then moves to the poem attached. Saraelia has read this poem to him before. He loved it. She has rewritten it. He reads it. Ric laughs at all the cute things she says. He thinks how cute she is for wanting to “make room for his cameras.” He thinks about the “...late night meals cooked naked and drunk.” He specially loves that she writes about sharing a house, a life. He thinks again, “I love you with all my heart, sweetheart.”
Ric pauses for a moment, closes his eyes. While sitting there with his eyes closed Ric comes up with an answer to his question. He realizes that Saraelia, the love of his life, is NOT a stranger. He knows her. The have met before, many times. He remembers when she posed for his painting back during the renaissance. He remembers holding hands with her when they were kids, running around outside her parents house in the Alps. He remembers how he rescued her from the evil Black knight and riding back to their castle in England. He remembers how she treated his wounds during World War I, thus saving his life, leading to an extraordinary life together. He remembers coming home to her after work to watch the brand new episodes of I Love Lucy together. Ric remembered so many more lives they shared around the world and throughout history.
Ric realized that he is not in love with a stranger he met online. He is reuniting with his love in this lifetime, like they have done many times before, and like they will continue to do throughout time.
...To be continued
This pic was taken about 5 years ago.
