13 Ghosts (2001)
Like the remake of The House on Haunted Hill, 13 Ghosts differs much from the original William Castle gimmick classic in that it has very little resemblance to the original. In truth, it could have well been released under a completely different title with no effect on the box office receipts it will draw in. The new 13 Ghosts is another in a long line of what I term to be Special Effects Operas that the motion picture industry has been inundating the audiences with in recent years. I point out here that George Lucas, a pioneer of Computer Effects said that if you don't have a good story with characters that the audience cares about, all the special effects in the world will not make it a good movie.
The movie opens at night in an automobile graveyard where high tech ghostbuster Cyrus Kriticos (F. Murray Abraham) with his hired crew and psychic-with-big-time-headaches Rafkin (Matthew Lillard, Scream) at his side are in the process of capturing ghost number twelve for his collection. This ghost known as The Juggernaut will not give up easily, which affords opportunities to view a few people being killed in gruesome neo-horror movie styles. Well, it also appears that Cyrus is killed in the mayhem as well.
The scene now changes to the family of Cyrus' nephew Arthur who is a math teacher. He recently lost his wife to a tragic fire and is struggling to support his family. He receives the news that he has inherited Uncle Cyrus' estate. They then go to see the house which has now come into their possession, a gaudy palace that looks like a collaboration of Frank Lloyd Wright, Reuben (Rube) Goldberg and Aleister Crowley. It serves as an example that people who live in glass houses shouldn't do a damn thing.
They are soon to find out that this house imprisons twelve ghost, all of whom have attitudes. We come to know that Uncle had an ulterior motive in collecting these earth bound spirits and even planned for a thirteenth to be involve in the dastardly plot. Arthur and his family finds the new home to be like an amusement park fun house with no sense of humor.
13 Ghosts is piled high with flat dialogue, inane puns, and two dimensional characters. The action is often disjointed and there is so much over acting that I believe the director must have instructed the actors to do it that way. I want to think that F. Murray Abraham is capable of doing better. Most of the visual effects are quite good; they no doubt cost enough, but the blood effects on a particular chop 'em up scene looked like Strawberry Smuckers Jam. I cannot personally give this any recommendation for this humorless and not scary horror-comedy, but some of you may like it in spite of the fact that I don't. Watch at your own risk (to your wallet).