Mental Abuse at 200 Miles an Hour: Part 1
I can’t believe this. I must be insane. I am still driving around this damn racetrack when my friend might be dead! But that’s racing a guess. Such a cruel sport sometimes.
I saw the whole thing. It was like a nightmare. One minute I’m protecting the first and second spot and the next minute I’m leading. And not the way I would have wanted it to happen either.
~~~~
I downshift going through the turn and go back to thinking. All you can really do in a racecar is think. There’s no CD player… no passenger… Just the car and my pit crew on the radio. I never ever wanted to get out of this car more then I do right now.
“How many more laps.” I squeak into the mic. I think that’s the first thing I’ve said since the crash. I didn’t have to wait long for an answer.
“Just 67 more Kevin. Your all clear.”
I wanted to start yelling. JUST 67 more? I’m all CLEAR? WHO CARES! Its WAY too much time to wait!
Again I allow my mind to wander… a bad thing to do in a racecar I might add… back to the crash. Everything was fine. I was behind Jeff who was behind Dale, helping out in the draft. Silently praying I could get in front of him and help my friend. That’s when I saw it. It was out of the corner of my eye but it was unmistakable. Oil…
I KNEW Junior saw it too! I just knew. But At least I could do something about it. He couldn’t…
I saw his back tires slide up the racetrack. I wanted to close my eyes and block out what I felt coming but they stayed open like I had no eyelids. Junior fixed himself. He missed the wall by inches… just inches… and I’m sure a lot of people sighed with relief… but again my nightmare continued because I watched Gordon’s car lose grip on the track and spin. I went below the white line to avoid him but Junior couldn’t.
~~~~~
I came out of my daze due to a voice in my ear.
“… pit now…”
I didn’t catch all of it but that’s all I needed. I downshifted and got to the bottom of the track just in time to make it onto pit road.
I took 4 tires and a tank of gas and they let me go again.
It’s now 56 laps. Wow… I didn’t know I zoned out that long! Good… I need to get out of this car.
Again I gained back the lead. My crew chief kept yelling in my ear that I had a better car but I don’t think it’s the car… It’s my need to end this race and get to my friend.
I know I’ll always have nightmares of that wreck. It was horrible. Dale’s car was pushed into the wall by Jeff. The front of the 24 smacking the driver’s side of that red 8.
I almost pulled this damn car over to see if he was all right but my whole being knew I couldn’t. I would have to be a man about it and finish the race. I didn’t want to ask the question… I didn’t want to come on the radio and say… ‘So is he dead?’, ‘Is my friend gone?’. I was afraid of the answer. I haven’t asked yet and I would have expected the crew to let me know. Especially Richard. But there was nothing.
I keep driving. For a few minutes I am fighting with Tony Stewart but he had to pit suddenly and after that I didn’t see him near my back bumper for a while.
31 more. Almost over.
~~~~
I saw Jeff pull himself out of the car to check on Dale. Then when I got back around again during the caution I saw a stretcher lift Junior into the ambulance… a mask over his face… with Jeff being pulled back by a paramedic. A flash of red filled my eyes.
That wasn’t what I wanted to see…
I imagined the headlines first. Leave me to be the one worrying about the press…
‘Dale Earnhardt Jr. shared fate of father at Dover international speedway.’
I let out a cold snicker and added out loud: “At the bottom… ‘Oh by the way... Kevin Harvick won.’ ”
23 more… this feels like an eternity.
I had just talked to him this morning. He was so excited about after the race.
~~~~
“Kev come here a sec!” I heard him say as I walked by the trailers.
“Wuzup Jr.?”
“Guess what I brought with me.” He said with a slight smirk on his face.
“What” I said, grinning at his giddiness.
“I drove my truck up. Crazy I know but I thought I’d drive up to the city after the race for a couple days.”
I looked at him with shocked playful eyes.
“You’re takin your truck to New York City? Man your not gonna come back with it! Well maybe parts of it…” We started laughing and sat down on the edge of his trailer.
“Naw I’m not worried. I need a break too bad to care right now.”
“Well it’s your loss!” I said, taking a swig of my can of Coke.
“Don’t say those words on race day man… Bad luck.”
I said sorry and continued to drink my soda.
“Come wit me” he said “If someone steals my truck then you can help me pay for cab fares.”
I laughed and shrugged my shoulder.
“Why not. I’d like to see WWF New York.”
Junior kept his glare on me so I turned my head to look at him. His eyebrows were fused together and his mouth was open in shock.’
“Your kidding right?”
“Hell no man! Have you WATCHED it?”
“Well of COURSE I’ve watched it… but… Are you that into it do go to that place?”
“Vince McMahon’s a Genius!”
He gave me a look like I had lost my mind. It was hilarious.
“Look… if you’re scared to be caught there then…”
“FINE fine! We’ll go to WWF NY. But if a picture of me is in the paper the next day at that place I’ll hunt you down on the race track and make all your races a living hell!”
I gave him a ‘yeah right’ look and we both sat in silence for a few more minutes, watching the hustle and bustle of the garages. Finally I stood up and tossed my can away.
“Well I gotta get goin. You leavin right after the race?”
“Not sure yet. Depends on what happens in the race.” He said with a smirk. “Who knows what’ll happen!”
“Dale if you win today then we’ll have to wait till tomorrow evening to get on the road. Unless I drive that is.”
“Hell no! You ain’t drivin my truck!”
I shrugged my shoulders at him.
“Well… I don’t see you doin to well with a hang over. Huh?”
“Shut up Harvick.” He snickered while signing autographs as we walked. “We wouldn’t even get to the city in this life time if you drove! To slow man.”
“Me?? Slow? HA! I am not!”
“MM hmm sureeee.”
“ok… as much as I want to hear this… oh no! I really do! But I have to go Dale. I’ll see you after the race ok?”
“Yeah buddy. Drive safe now.”
“You too.” I said…
… and then I walked away.
