(( The show opens up inside the darkened studios of Warzone...the lights come on and Travis best is sitting at his usual Warzone desk...))
Travis: Hey guys and welcome to another edition of Warzone....due to some delays by Mr. Lashley's new network , this show is being taped to broadcast at a later time. But that's ok cause we have a HUGE show with Dozer putting his title on the line agains.....
(( Travis gets handed a piece of paper and he reads it carefully))
Travis: Wait so these matches are for Slaughter...so what matches do I get!!??((Reads some more)) Oh crap!!! Damn rookie matches again!!! Half of these bozos don't even put up a fight geez....what?? I know we're still on!! Great.....well folks let's just get to the first match as...((reads))..Nova takes on....((reads more))...Jugabusa??
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Nova Vs. Jugabusa
Jugabusa and Julio “Nova” Rodriguez are trading
punches as the camera cuts to them. Jugabusa gets the upper hand and clotheslines Nova to the mat. Nova gets to his feet and is arm dragged back down to the mat. Jugabusa then hits a gut wrench power bomb into a leg drop. Jugabusa then lifts Nova up and is met with a kick to the gut and the lifted with a T-bone suplex. As Jugabusa gets up Nova spin kicks him into the corner and then lifts him onto the top turnbuckle. Nova then gets onto the second turnbuckle and goes for a super-plex but Jugabusa pushes him off and jumps off with an elbow drop. Jugabusa goes for a cover and gets one...two..kick out! Jugabusa then hits a tiger sulpex and follows it up with an inverted ddt which Nova reverses and he hits a northern lights suplex. As they both then get to there feet Nova side kicks Jugabusa in the jaw and then puts him in the figure four. Jugabusa reaches for the ropes but to no avail, Nova pulls back harder but Jugabusa just want quit. Nova finally gets go and picks up Jugabusa who connects with a inside cradle for the one...two..three!!!
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Travis: Well that match wasn't actually half bad, considering...that Jugulator or Jugawater or whatever his name is might have a future here in the HWC.
Cameraman: (off camera) It's Jugabusa.
Travis: Why are you correcting me?? I know what his damn name is!!! This is MY show you know!! It don't say "Warzone with the fat out of shape cameraman who has to pay for his dates show" does it!!?? So shut up!!
(( Travis looks at his sheet again...))
Travis: Ok, it says here that we have a promo here from Tiger...so if you can step away from the snickers bar for a second lardass, how about showing that promo!!!
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**The bottom of the screen reads San Jose Live. The
camera pans over a large crowd of people out side at a
Limp Bizkit concert. The sun is starting to set as
they get ready to play the next song. The carmera goes
from looking over the crowd to that of Fred Drust him
self.**
Fred: This next song is dedicated to someone who
resently had one of those days.
**The start to Break Stuff begins to play as Fred
continues to speak.**
Fred: She's been jumped........... She's had her leg
nearly smashed.......... and she's lost her shot at
the HWC World Title. I think you all know who i mean.
**The crowd cheers louder as Ferd starts to sing. Half
way threw the song Fred stops and looks to his left as
he smiles. With out missing a beat The Tiger steps
from behind Fred. Dressed in red skater shorts, a
black tank top, and a green army cap. around her right
knee is a black knee brace from when Obake beat her.
The Tiger by specail request from Fred Durnst himself
came out to sing and dance with him.**
The Tiger: I feel like s**t
My suggestion is to keep your distance
Cuz right now I'm dangerous
Fred: We've all felt like s**t
The Tiger: And been treated like s**t
All those motherf***ers, they want to step up
Fred:I hope ya know
I pack a chainsaw
I'll skin your ass raw
The Tiger: And if my day keeps going this way
I just might break something tonight
Both: Give me something to break
I pack a chainsaw
I'll skin your ass raw
And if my day keeps going this way
I just might break your f***in' face tonite
Give me something to break
Just give me something to break
How 'bout your fuckin' face?
The Tiger: I hope you know I pack a crow bar,
Fred: what?
I hope you know I pack a chainsaw, a mutherf***in'
chainsaw, what?
The Tiger: Some and get it
Both: It's all about the he said she said bulls**t....
**The crowd cheered as loud as they could for this
moment. for all them and even The Tiger and Limp
Bizkit with was truly a specail moment. The Tiger
leaned over and touched the hands of the crowd as she
smiled and waved. Heading back out the way she came,
The Tiger stoped and gave Fred Drust a hug and a kiss
on the cheek before one finaly wave to the crowd.**
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Travis: Oh that's just friggin great!!! What a lovely duo...two sellouts who've been lucky their whole careers...all I say is wait till people realize that Durnst is a fat no talent...
Cameraman: (muttering) Sounds like someone's jealous cause no one wants to hang with him.
Travis: I HEARD THAT YOU FAT PIECE OF CRAP!!!! How DARE you sully my good name like that!!! You know maybe if you'd buy a damn shirt that actually FITS you you wouldn't come off as a gross looking Brittney Spears!!
Cameraman: We got another match to run...sir.
Travis: DO YOU THINK I GIVE A RAT'S BEHIND!!?? We'll cut to....(looks at the sheet)...187 and Da Devil when I damn well feel......
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187 Vs. Da Devil
As the match begins 187 is in the ring looking around for Da
Devil. As 187 looks towards the entrance ramp Devil comes out from under the ring and hits a bulldog. 187 gets to his feet and is met with a stiff kick to the side and then a ddt. Devil then lifts 187 up and gets
a low blow. 187 then his a face buster and slides onto the apron. As Devil gets up 187 jumps onto the top rope and uses the extra leverage to
propel into the air and hit a flying head scissors on Devil. 187 then whips Da Devil into the ropes and as Devil comes off he ducks 187 and clothesline and connects with a reverse suplex. Devil then picks 187 up and connects with a corkscrew piledriver. Da Devil then turns to the crowd and begins to show off. 187 gets to his feet while Da Devil is doing this and spins him around connecting with a cradle piledriver for the one...two...three
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Travis: What the hell was that crap!!?? My dog can wrestle better than Da Dumbass can!! And what the hell kind of name is that?? Geez, the names around here get worse by the week...oh and speaking of getting worse I got another promo from the drunken frat himself...Bruno Von Gotch Jr.
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INT--Bruno and Dane's dorm room.
Dane Seganot sits on an old crappy couch watching television. He is sipping on a can of Papst Blue Ribbon beer. There are several empty cans scattered throughout the room. The sound of a key turning in the door can be heard as Bruno Von Gotch Junior soon opens it and enters the room. He walks in, throws down a stack of books on a nearby desk, and takes a seat next to Dane on the couch.
Bruno: God what a day. I forgot how much I hate school.
Dane: Yeah it sucks ass. You want a beer?
Bruno: Uh, no thanks. I better do some studying tonight.
Dane: Tonight? You have a test tomorrow or something?
Bruno: No, not tommorrow but I...
Dane: Look let me give you some tips here man. Never study unless you have a test the next day. Also, drink beer every other day. It makes you smarter.
Bruno: Smarter?
Dane: Sure. Beer kills the weak brain cells and leaves the good ones thereby making the overall power of your brain much stronger.
Bruno: Well if that were true my dad would be a genius.
Dane: Oh yeah? Your dad was the wrestler, huh? I hear he really put a lot of pressure on you.
Bruno: Yeah you could say that.
Dane: My old man was the same way with me growing up. He really pushed me. He did everything to try to make me the best.
Bruno: Oh yeah?
Dane: Yup. I remember it well.
Dane begins scratching his chin and going into deep thought. Wavey lines
appear on the screen, flashback music begins to play, and Bruno looks around confused about what is going on.
CUT TO
INT--Young Dane's bedroom.
We see Dane as a small child sleeping in bed. He is no older than 12. As he lies there sleeping, a light begins to shine in the room as his door opens slightly. From the small crack in the door a man, presumably Dane's father, enters slowly weilding what appears to be some sort of needle. He sneaks through the room tiptoeing his way to Dane's bed. When he is within reach, he quickly pokes Dane with the needle injecting him with steroids. the man quickly runs away leaving through the same door he came in. Dane sits up startled and for the first time we can see his face. His eyes are red and his face twitches. He has a full beard at the age of 12.
CUT TO
INT--Back in the dorm room
Bruno: Damn!
Dane: Yeah he was pretty intent on me being a great football player. My old coach was pretty intense too.
Once again begins to scratch his chin as the flashback sequence begins.
Bruno is still confused.
Bruno: What the heck is going on here?
CUT TO
INT--Inside of a locker room
We see a team of college-aged football players huddled around in a circle. The camera focuses on Dane for a second who looks absolutely huge in his pads. An old coach walks into the room and stands in the middle of them. He talks with a southern accent in the style of a military drill instructor.
Coach: Look at you. You sorry group of (television edit)suckers. I have
never seen such a group of (television edit)suckers in all my life. I don't think you understand. We're getting ready to play Shenandoah University. There's a bunch of people on that team with alternative lifestyles. Now we're gonna have to kick the (televion edit) out of them.
The coach looks around for a second and then apparently gets very serious.
Coach: Let us pray.
The players all take a knee and grab each other's hands.
Coach: Dear Lord, please let these (television edit)suckers win. There has never been a harder working group of (television edit)suckers than these (television edit)suckers. Let us rip off our opponents (television edit) and send them running off the field with tampons between their legs.
The vulgar prayer continues as the camera focuses on Dane who opens his eyes and looks out both corners.
CUT TO
INT-- Back in the dorm room again
Bruno: I see.
Dane: Yeah it was pretty bad. I just had to give up on the sport. I tried to coach a little league team but my horrible upbringing left me unable to work with young kids. Apparently my "methods"...
Dane clinches his index and middle fingers on both hands to indicate
quotation marks.
Dane (Cont.) were a little too extreme for them.
He scratches his chin one more time and the whole thing begins again. Bruno just throws up his arms.
CUT TO
EXT--Football field
A group of 7 or 8 year-old children are dressed in full pads. Their jerseys are dirty and they appear dejected. Dane paces back and forth as he speaks.
Dane: What the Hell was that? WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?!? I have never been so humiliated in all my life. I wish the good Lord would open up the Earth and swallow you all whole. You suck.
As he paces, he comes a cross an especially fat little kid who is in tears.
Dane: Awe poor little fat kid. What's the matter fat kid, can't take the
criticism? You are pathetic. It looks like a big fat retarded donkey came down here, took a diarrhea crap, and out came you, fat kid.
The kid runs off the field weeping as Dane turns back to his team.
CUT TO
INT--Back in the dorm room
Bruno is shocked. He sits there eyes wide open without saying a word.
Dane: Yeah so they kicked me out after that.
Bruno: Hmmm.
Dane: I guess I deserved it.
Bruno: You think?
An awkward silent pause
Bruno: My dad tried to coach a little league team one time but it didn't
work out.
Now Bruno scratches his chin initiating the flashback. Dane is not at all surprised and takes a sip from his beer.
CUT TO
INT--Small room
Bruno Von Gotch Senior is sitting at a table being interviewed by two men. He appears nervous as the men question him.
Man #1: How do you respond to accusations that you have a drinking problem Mr. Gotch?
Senior: Well I wouldn't call it a problem. I sort of like it actually.
Man #1: I see.
Man #2: Well tell us then, why do you want to work with this age group?
Senior seems unsire how to answer this question.
Senior: Because they're so attractive?
Both men begin to write furiously on some yellow notepads.
Man #1: Uh huh. Well could you please give us a demonstration of your
coaching methods? Pretend that I am one of your players.
Senior: Oh sure.
He stands up and walks towards the man.
Senior: Hello little boy. Would you like to come to a more secluded part of the practice facility with me?
Both men look at him with shock and disgust.
Man #2: I don't think this is going to work out.
CUT TO
INT--Dorm room
Bruno shivers a little with horror when we return to the room. Dane looks surprised.
Bruno: Maybe I will have that beer.
Dane hands him one from a nearby cooler. Bruno opens it and begins to pound it as we...
FADE OUT
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Travis: (staring blankly at the screen) That's just.....that's just disturbing... Anyways, it looks like Bruno is going the way of his father and we'll soon have him stumbling around just like pop...like father like son I always say.
Cameraman: I've never heard you say that.
Travis: How about if you don't shut up I'll shove my foot up your.......
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Obake Vs. Magnum
The match begins as Obake and Magnum circle each other in
the ring. Obake starts it off by grappling up with Magnum and putting him in an arm bar. Magnum reverses it and throws Obake over his shoulder and then connects with a leg drop. Obake gets up and tackles the on coming Magnum and begins to punch him in the face. Obake then runs into
the ropes and towards Magnum, who is getting up and back drops Obake to the mat. Magnum then suplexs Obake as he gets to his feet. Magnum
then gets onto the top rope and jumps off with a leg drop hitting the mat, Obake having rolled out of the way. Obake then picks Magnum up and whips him into the ropes, spine busting him. Obake then connects with three rolling German suplexs. Magnum gets to his feet and Obake looks a Magnum with a smile then kicking him in the gut and connecting with the jackhammer for the one...two..three.
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((Travis is jumping up and down in anger....having to be restrained...))
Travis: YOU NEVER CUT ME OFF WHEN I'M TALKING YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF S***!!!!!!!YOU'LL NEVER WORK IN TELEVISION AGAIN YOU HEAR ME!!!! BOY!!!!
(( Travis throws a chair...hitting the cameraman and knocking him out cold...the camera falls to the floor...the last thing you see is Travis' feet running for his life....))
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(( The scene opens up inside a doctors office....a standard office with all the little medical things you expect from a doc's office. With his back turned to the camera is an older man...around his late 40's early 50's, clad in a doctors outfit. The door opens up and An imposing man enters the room, wearing blue jeans a long black trench coat and a KMFDM t-shirt. The man smiles and offers the big man a seat...))
Doctor: Ahh Kash it's good to see you again.
Kash: I'd like it better if it wasn't in this sterile place but it's good to see you too. So why did you call me in for??
Doctor: I have some good news...the last set of tests came back and you look to be in great condition.
Kash: (shocked) How?? The last time I was in here, I looked almost dead.
Doctor: Yeah well that time off you took did you a world of good Mr. Flagg as most of your injuries have healed...with the exception of the arm. I still want you wearing a brace protecting your arm.
Kash: A brace for my arm??? What are you saying??
Doctor: Well, I'm saying you can wrestle again...provided you lay off the monster hits...
Kash: They are called bumps doc but....you told me to never wrestle again.
Doctor: Damned if I know how you did it, but you're body healed more rapidly than I thought...provided you work a limited schedule at first, you should be able to wrestle.
Kash: Doc, I don't know.....I've kinda gotten used to retirement.
Doctor: It's all your choice Kash, but I have other patients I need to see. Take care of yourself and I'll see you next week for your physical therapy again.
Kash: Thanks doc.
(( The doctor shakes Kash's hand and leaves the room...Kash sits there momentarily stunned at the news he just heard....a large grin appears on his face....the scene ends.))
